Highland Sinner (35 page)

“And what do ye plan to do today, Morainn?” Adam asked, as he served her a tankard of goat’s milk.

The way the man watched her made Morainn think he already knew the answer to that question. Now that she thought about it, Adam had never once questioned her claims about her visions and dreams. She began to think her brother had quite a few secrets. She also wondered why he had given her goat’s milk.

It was not something she often drank and yet she had wanted some the moment she had seen that it was available. Perhaps, she mused as she began to eat, it was not her mother who had gifted her with the ability to have visions.

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“I intend to return to the cottage,” she replied and saw not one tiny flicker of surprise on his face.

“Then I need to pack my things,” said Walin.

Morainn opened her mouth to explain all the choices the boy had, and then quickly filled it with a big spoonful of honey-sweetened porridge. She did not want to discuss his choices. Selfishly, she wanted him to come home with her without question. As she ate, occasionally reminding Walin not to eat too fast, she could feel her brother watching her. It was not until Walin had excused himself and run off to pack his things that Morainn chanced a glance at Adam only to catch him smiling at her.

“Clever lass,” he murmured.

“What do ye mean?” she asked.

“Taking the lad with ye is certain to bring Tormand to your door.”

“Ye think I would take Walin with me just to use him as bait?” To her shame she had briefly wondered if keeping Walin with her might cause Tormand to pause before separating them again, but she had not really considered the possibility that it might cause Tormand to chase after her.

“Why do ye sound so insulted?”

“Why shouldnae I be? That would be a devious thing to do.”

“Aye. As I said—clever. Why dinnae ye just stay here?”

“Because I wish to be the one who chooses when it is time for me to leave.” Morainn did not know why she was being so truthful, but something about the way Adam watched her seemed to pull the truth right out of her.

“Pride. It can be a verra cold bedfellow.”

“So can a mon who wishes to be in another woman’s bed e’en as he holds you.” She sighed. “I willnae wait around until he tires of me and sees another he wants. Aye, ’tis pride, and sometimes that is all one has to cling to.”

He shrugged. “The mon kens that the boy sees ye as his mother. Mayhap he would marry you and make it legally so. He would be a fine prize for ye.”

“Aye, he would be.” She had the distinct feeling he was goading her. “So would a big fat salmon.” She rolled her eyes when he laughed and then she pushed her empty plate aside so that she could rest her arms on the table. “I love him, Adam.”

“I thought ye might. ’Tis why I did naught about his taking ye as his lover. So, why run from the chance to have him?”

Morainn bit back the need to remind him that a brother who had remained unknown to her for three and twenty years had no right to tell her what she should do with her life or her chastity. Some of her annoyance with that came from the fact that she had lived her life as she pleased for too long. “I am nay running.” She grimaced when he just cocked one perfect dark brow at her. “Weel, mayhap I am, but only from the hurt I can see coming.”

“Why would ye think that he would hurt ye?”

“Because he doesnae love me. E’en men without Tormand’s sordid reputation for being a rutting fool will
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slip into another woman’s bed, succumb easily to temptation, if they dinnae love their wives. Aye, I ken that love isnae some impenetrable shield against all temptation, but it helps. Love also means that all the troubles, big and small, that come with marriage dinnae make ye immediately think of seeking out another to hold. I wouldnae survive if I married him and had to spend the rest of my days or nights wondering whose bed he was romping in. It would slowly kill me.

“He hasnae spoken to me of marriage anyway. The mon enjoys his freedom. Right now I hold his interest, but that could change on the morrow.”

“And ye dinnae wish to be here when that happens. Fair enough. But, if ye leave, ye lose the chance to make him love you.”

Just the way Adam said the word love told Morainn that her brother did not believe in it, but now was not the time to argue that. “Ye cannae make someone love ye. He either does or he doesnae. And, if it takes too long for love to grow, if there are too many other women as I wait for the prize, then how much of my love for him will remain? Aye, I may be fool enough to still love him nay matter what he does to break faith with me, but I willnae trust him, and the hurt, the bitterness, will have twisted everything.

“I need him to love me because I need him to be faithful. Every time he went into another woman’s arms, it would cut out another piece of my heart, of my verra soul. ’Twould be a folly to think passion and a little boy are enough to change the ways of a mon like Tormand. There has to be a stronger bond or he will continue to, as Nora says, leap from bed to bed like some demented toad.”

Morainn waited patiently for Adam to stop laughing. He looked good when he laughed, she decided. The expression softened some of the harsher lines of his handsome face. Morainn had the feeling that he did not laugh very often and that saddened her.

“Weel, I am nay sure I believe as ye do,” he said finally, his voice still a little hoarse from a lingering amusement, “but if that is what ye want.”

“It is,” she said firmly. “Wheesht, ’tisnae as if I am sailing off to France in the dead of night. I but go to the cottage and Walin comes with me of his own free will. Tormand can find me there if he chooses to.

And I think it will do me good to go home for a wee while. A house full of Murray men doesnae allow a lass to think verra clearly.”

“Verra weel then. I will help ye. I would offer ye an invitation to come to Dubhstane but I ken ye wouldnae accept it.”

“Nay, not now, but I wouldnae mind seeing the place sometime.”

“Then ye will.” He looked at William who sat on the bench next to Morainn and watched him. “I suspicion helping when ye speak of packing means caging these cats, too.”

Morainn stroked William’s soft fur. “Aye. They dinnae hurt the one putting them into the cages for all they growl, hiss, and try to wriggle free. And packing willnae take me long as I dinnae have much.”

Several hours later Adam stood in front of Tormand’s house and watched Morainn drive off in the small pony cart he and Walter had found for her, the cats loudly protesting the travel. He was not sure he believed all her talk of love, but he did know that she was sad, that Tormand had hurt her in some way. It was going to be difficult not to make the man pay dearly for that look of sorrow on Morainn’s face, but he would resist the urge to pummel him into the ground. This was Morainn’s battle.

“He isnae going to like this,” said Walter, scowling after Morainn. “Nay, he willnae be happy. Lassies
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dinnae walk away from him, ye ken.”

“Mayhap this will do him some good then.” To Adam’s surprise, a big grin split Walter’s homely face.

“Aye, that it will. A good knock upside the head often works to knock some sense into a fool.”

“Ye think he would be a fool to let my sister go?”

“Biggest one in Christendom. Despite the way the lad has acted the last few years, he is a mon from a strong family, one that is filled with good, strong marriages and healthy bairns. ’Tis as though he has been fighting that, as though he has tried to shake free of all he learned. Weel, he has already had one epiphany.”

“Oh? What was it?”

“Had to make a list of all his lovers in this town and was fair sickened by what he saw, by the proof of the mon he had become.”

“Ah, I believe Morainn said her friend called it leaping from bed to bed like a demented toad.” He smiled when Walter laughed.

“That says it clear enough. Fool lad was in danger of wearing it out. But I could see that the lass had put the harness on that stallion. He has reached his settling time and that lass is the one he wants to settle with.”

“And his family willnae care that she is a poor bastard with no lands or coin?”

Walter made a sharp, derisive noise. “Nay, they willnae care. As for her visions and all that? Wheesht, she will just be another wee lass with a gift. The clan has a lot of them. Source of pride, it is.” He looked at Adam as they walked back into the house. “And that has me wondering where she got it from.”

“Keep right on wondering, old mon.” Adam bit back a grin over Walter’s mumbled disgruntlement. “So, ye think Sir Tormand has fallen in love with my sister?”

“Och, aye. Felled like a big old oak. Ye wouldnae e’en be asking if ye had seen him when those bastards took her and cut her. If he hadnae already guessed how he felt about her, I suspicion he had himself another epiphany right then. I had been expecting it. The mon could have any lass he wanted and has done so, especially over the last few years, but nay once in the last three, mayhap four, months or so.”

Adam stopped walking and stared at Walter. “Are ye saying that Tormand, the great lover, or the great sinner depending on how righteous ye think ye are, has been celibate for months?”

Walter nodded, a smug look on his face. “He has. Been tucked up in his own bed every night for months and, ere ye ask it, I ken there wasnae a lass tucked up with him. He never brings the lassies into his own home. Told me once that a cousin of his said a mon should never soil his own nest. So, I think his settling time had already come over him. He was just waiting for the right lass.”

“And that would be Morainn.”

“Nary a doubt in my mind. So, do ye mean to lurk about here until ye can see how the lad reacts when he finds his bird has flown the nest?”

“I believe I will.”

“Do ye like to toss the dice?”

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“Doesnae any mon? Sure ye have the coin to lose?”

“Boasting, are ye? Weel, settle yourself in the hall whilst I fetch some ale and my dice and we will see which one of us has the skill and the luck. I be thinking ye will soon be wishing the lad comes home soon or ye will have naught left but the clothes ye are wearing.”

Adam shook his head and went back into the hall. He had heard of Sir Tormand’s squire, of the man’s refusal to be knighted. Walter had been called everything from cowardly to stupid, but all those opinions were wrong. Walter was one of those rare men who knew exactly what he wanted and what would make him happy, and would not allow expectations or insults to change his course.

Settling himself at the table, Adam suspected Walter knew the man he served very well. It was going to be interesting to see how Tormand took the news that Morainn had walked away from him. Patting the documents neatly tucked inside his shirt, he decided he would make a small change in his original plan for them. If Tormand felt as Walter said he did, and loved Morainn, then what Adam had planned as a simple brotherly gift to his only sibling would now make a verra fine dowry.

“Where is Morainn? Where is Walin? Where are those cursed cats?”

Each demand got louder until Tormand shouted the last one so loudly Adam was surprised the room did not rock on its foundations. He bit back a grin, held up one hand for silence, and watched Walter throw the dice. Groaning as Walter was yet again the winner and chortled as he raked in even more of Adam’s coin, Adam finally turned to look at Tormand.

Tormand looked both furious and frantic. Adam could see the worry, even fear in the man’s eyes. This was not the reaction one expected of a man who had simply misplaced one of far too many women. That Tormand might have cursed a little, but quickly gone out to find another. This Tormand looked like he wanted to throttle a few answers out of someone.

“My sister decided it was time to go home,” Adam replied, watching in fascination as the color faded from Tormand’s face. “Walin went with her.”

For a moment it was difficult for Tormand even to catch his breath. He felt a pain cut deep into his heart.

How could she walk away after what they had shared this morning? No woman had ever made love to him like that, and he had left thinking to find her still at his house, ready and willing to listen to all he had to say. He had even left court early, handing the chore of staying to promote the interests of the clan to his kinsmen’s hands because he could not wait any longer to tell Morainn all he needed to tell her. Yet, the moment he was gone, she packed up and walked away.

Anger surged up inside of him, smothering the hurt. She had not even given him a chance. He had tiptoed around her and wooed her gently because he wanted to show her that he was not simply the man of that reputation he was now so ashamed of. For a brief moment anger had him thinking that, if she could walk away so easily, he should just let her go. After all, he had never had any trouble finding a woman. He easily shook that thought aside. Angry or not, hurt or not, he did not want another woman. He wanted Morainn.

“When did she leave?” he asked, idly thinking that he would like to take the time to pound all that amusement he saw in Adam right out of the man, but beating his future brother by marriage before he had even proposed to the man’s sister was probably not a wise thing to do.

“This morning. Mayhap three, four hours ago. Going to go after her?”

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“Aye, I am.”

“For the laddie?”

“Nay, so I can shake the fool lass until what few wits she has are rattling around inside her head.”

“Is that going to be before or after ye ask her to marry ye?”