Highland Resurrection (Blades of Honor Book 2) (16 page)

“Nay, he dinna tell me, I made sure of it.” Alasdair patted his blade. “He willna bother you or hurt anyone again. Now best you get some rest before Simon comes in and tosses me out on my ear for tiring you.”

Lazarus had had his suspicions, but now he knew for certain that Father Marquis was dead and he was pleased to hear it. While raised to believe all life was sacred, he felt no remorse. The evil bastard got what he deserved. But he would not be the last treasure hunter or French emissary that would come looking for him. However, he knew Sheena and Quinn were safe and that was all he cared about right now.

Chapter 21

“Good morning.” Connor entered the room carrying two tankards. “Simon thought you might be up to eating a little something today. He suggested we start with broth and see how you fare.”

“Morning? Last I remember, it was just before the evening meal.” Lazarus dragged his hand across his eyes. One remained swollen shut, but the other he managed to open a little wider than he could yesterday.

“Aye. I think you overdid it a little and needed the rest,” Connor replied. “Sheena sat by your side the entire night. I managed to convince her to take a nap about an hour ago.”

“I’m glad.” Lazarus craned his neck and crinkled his nose in disgust. “What is in the other cup? It smells familiar, not to mention rank.”

“An elixir Simon made with herbs and willow bark. He warned it might be bitter, but he said it will ease your discomfort and aid in healing your injuries.”

“I’m familiar with the potion. But it’s not like Simon to send others to do his tasks.”

“Bringing my brother something to break his morning fast when he canna get it for himself isna a hardship,” Connor remarked.

Lazarus braced his ribs and gritted his teeth while attempting to make a shift in his position. He saw stars and his stomach tumbled when he moved his injured leg, but once he’d found a comfortable spot, the pain subsided to a tolerable level.

Connor cast him a sympathetic glance. “If there is anything I can do to help, brother? You just need ask.”

When not being used in the religious sense, Lazarus still found being referred to as someone’s brother strange. “Can you help me to sit up?”

“This is going to hurt.” Connor slid his arms under both of Lazarus’s arms and counted to three before hoisting him upward.”

Lazarus held his breath and ground his teeth together until he found himself in an upright position.

Connor eased him back until his shoulders rested against the wall. “Is that better?”

“Aye, I am good now.” Lazarus blew out a ragged breath. “Thank you.”

Connor handed him one of the pewter mugs. “Drink the potion while it is hot, then you can try the broth.”

Lazarus brought the mug to his lips and took a sip. “You dinna tell me where Simon is.”

“Brother Simon left at first light,” Connor replied. “He has been away from the abbey for several days and since your condition is improving, he felt he should go back to Ayton. After what happened with Father Marquis, he thought it best he check in with the other monks so no one got concerned about his absence. He also figured that once the King of France found out his minions were gone, he might send replacements to hunt you down.”

“I have no doubt Simon is right. In fact, I would wager on it.” Lazarus raked his fingers though his hair. “This vendetta the French crown has against the former Knights Templar runs deep. There will be men sent to replace those slain, and more after that. I fear I’ll never find peace.”

“Perhaps the solace you seek can be found at Fraser Castle,” Connor replied. “Simon said with rest, you should be able to travel in about a sennight. By cart of course. It will be much longer until you’re well enough to sit a horse.”

“You’re persistent if nothing else.” Lazarus took another gulp of elixir, cringing at the sour taste. After finishing the contents of the first mug, he handed it back to Connor.

“Have you given the prospect of going back with us to Beauly any consideration?” Connor gave him the broth.

Lazarus blew on the steaming liquid, then peered over the rim of the cup at his brother. “I have. But as I’ve explained to you, my presence could put you and your families in peril. The men who are hunting for me will track me down wherever I go and dinna care who gets in the way of them completing their mission.”

“Not if Robert the Bruce informs King Phillip you’re now under his protection. I need only send him word and it will be done,” Connor said proudly. “Besides, as I mentioned before, Fraser Castle has the largest army in the Highlands. It is so well guarded the devil himself couldna get in.”

“The offer is tempting, but I canna leave Sheena and Quinn behind and move to the Highlands.” Lazarus took a sip of broth.

Connor scratched his head. “I assumed if you went to Fraser Castle, they would join you.”

“I only found out yesterday that I had a home in Beauly. Sheena and I have not discussed a future together. After all that has happened, I’m not sure she would want to put her life and Quinn’s in jeopardy again. Nor am I willing to take that risk.”

“Life is not an easy go or without risks,” Connor replied. “But then again, you are very much aware of that. However, after all Sheena has been through, do you na think you should let her decide for herself?”

Lazarus scrubbed his hand across his chin. “I suppose it wouldna hurt to give her the option.”

“Do you love her?” Connor asked bluntly.

Lazarus nodded. “I have never been in love before, but I believe what I feel for Sheena is genuine. I dinna realized just how much I cared about her until I was on my way to the ship and assumed I would never see her again. She is the bravest, most caring woman I have ever known. The way she puts everyone’s needs before her own and cares for her brother touches my heart.”

“That is all fine and well,” Connor said. “There is no question the woman is a saint in your eyes, but there is more to a marriage than mutual respect and admiration.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dinna get me wrong, those things are very important. But does she stir you in other ways?” Connor asked. “Do you find yourself attracted to her on more than just an emotional level? Do you think about her when you should be concentrating on other things? Do you long to be with her and desire her more than your next breath?”

Lazarus hesitated for a minute, then smiled. “Aye, I feel all those things and more. Her fiery spirit is like that of no woman I have ever met. She also makes me laugh at things I never found humorous before. I canna imagine my life without her.”

Connor chuckled, then gave his head a shake. “It is clear you were raised in a monastery. Let me put this another way. When you think about Sheena, smell her scent, and gaze into her eyes, do you want to bed her?” He stared down at Lazarus’s groin. “Does she make you stand erect, make you ache so bad you think you might lose our mind if you canna have her? Do you want to enter her on the most intimate level and make her your own?”

Lazarus felt the heat rush to his cheeks, then grinned. “I knew exactly what you meant, and aye to all of it. When I’m with Sheena, I want no other, canna imagine my life with no other.”

“Then there is no problem in asking her to go with you. I have only just met the lass, but from what I have observed when the two of you are together, I think it safe to assume Sheena feels the same way about you as you do her.”

“If only it were that simple. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with Sheena, but I’m not sure I have the right to ask her to be my wife. Nor am I certain she would agree to accompany me. And I canna say I blame her.”

“Life is only as complicated as you chose to make it, Lazarus. Trust me, I know. In the beginning, Cailin and my relationship was far from simple. A complicated story I’ll tell you someday. When we have a lot of time and a pitcher of ale,” Connor added.

“Cailin is your wife?” Lazarus asked.

“Aye. But had I listened to my first instincts to turn her away and put as much distance between us as possible, I would have missed out some of the most amazing moments of my life.”

“I have been alone for so long, I’m not sure I can change my ways.” Lazarus lowered his gaze. “The horrible things I witnessed and endured while serving in the Holy Land, then again in the French prison haunt me night and day. I left Scotland a whole man, and returned an empty shell, devoid of emotion and with a closed heart. I saw no purpose in life, other than to survive.” He twisted the Templar ring on his finger.

“All the more reason to put the past behind you and grasp what is in front of you,” Connor pointed out. “You have a family and a clan who will stand by you no matter what. You have met an amazing woman and a lad who adore you for who you are here.” He thumped his chest. “I would say that is pretty lucky if you ask me. The time has come for you to stop running from what was and embrace the future.”

“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” Lazarus said.

“Good. And I pray you come to the right conclusion.” Connor took the empty mug from Lazarus, then patted him on the shoulder. “Try to get a bit of rest and I’ll check in on you later.”

Lazarus watched Connor stride out of the room. His younger brother was wise in many ways. He could see why he was a successful and highly respected laird. If he did decide to return with his brothers to Beauly, assuming his rightful position as head of the clan was not something he was willing to consider. Connor did a fine job and Lazarus had no desire to change something that clearly worked for the good of the clan and the family.

Sheena
. When he pictured her beautiful face and captivating emerald eyes, his heart gave a tug. Meeting her was by far the best thing that had ever happened in his life. He just needed to get up the courage to ask for her hand.

Sheena tiptoed into the room where Lazarus slept. She didn’t want to awaken him, believing the more rest he got, the better. But she’d waited most of the morning to pay him a visit and she needed to see for herself that he was doing as well as Connor claimed.

“Sheena,” Lazarus said, then opened his one good eye.

She hurried to his side and knelt beside him. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but wanted to come and check in on you.”

“I’m glad you’re here. And you dinna wake me.” He lifted an errant lock of her tawny hair and tucked it behind her ear. “If truth be known, I was dreaming about you.”

Sheena’s heart leapt at his words and she felt a heated flush rise in her cheeks. “A good dream, I hope.”

“Always when it is about you,” he murmured softly, then lightly traced her lips with the pad of his thumb. “And waking up to your comely face each morning is a blessing I could get accustomed to.”

She took his hand and brought his knuckles to her lips. “And I yours.” The words slipped out before she could stop them. She turned away, embarrassed that she let her innermost thoughts escape when she intended to keep them to herself.

To wake up next to Lazarus every day for the rest of her life would be wonderful. If only she did not harbor secrets no one could ever know about. Things concerning Quinn that if discovered, could jeopardize his safety. For that reason alone, she’d vowed never to wed. She believed honesty and openness were necessary for a marriage to succeed and to begin one with secrets would condemn it to failure.

Besides, Lazarus had never mentioned marriage. He had dedicated his life to God and to think what they shared could sway him from his faith was vain, if not mad.

“You’re brooding.” Lazarus stroked her cheek.

She raised her chin and smiled. “I never brood. Everything is fine. Father Marquis is dead and can never hurt any of us again. You’re alive and are on the mend. Quinn has returned to me unharmed, and you have finally learned who your family is and where you came from. How could I be anything but happy and thankful when so many good things are happening?”

“What if Father Marquis isna the last man to hunt me down?” Lazarus asked. “I’m sure there will be more and I couldna put you and Quinn at risk again.”

“We would face that challenge if and when it happened. You’re a good man, Lazarus, and the Lord wouldna have brought us together, torn us apart, then reunited us only to separate us again.”

“Do you honestly feel that way, Sheena? And the thought of spending your life with me isna frightening or abhorrent?”

“You are not only handsome, but you’re the kindest, gentlest, most selfless man I have ever known. Look at all you have done for me and Quinn. Not to mention you risked your life and your freedom to save him. And never once did you ask for anything in return. Any woman would be proud to—”

“Marry me, Sheena, and make me the happiest man in all of Scotland.” Lazarus clasped her hands between his own and brought them to his lips. “You once said you wanted us to be together, to make a home for Quinn. I want the same thing. A life without the two of you wouldna be worth living.”

Dumbfounded, Sheena tugged her hands free and rocked back on her heels. “I wasna looking for a proposal, Lazarus.” She tightly wrapped her arms around her middle, then glanced away from him. “I canna marry you.”

“Canna or willna?” Lazarus asked. “I love you and cherish Quinn as if he were my own. I want us to be together as a family and thought you wanted that too.”

“I do. There is nothing that would make me happier.” She sniffled, then dragged the back of her hand across her cheeks.

“Then marry me, Sheena.”

“There are things about my past you dinna know,” she said, tears now streaming down her cheeks.

“There is nothing you canna tell me. Talk to me. Please.” Lazarus brushed a stray lock of hair from her cheek. “Have I not shown you how I feel about you? If not, tell me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you.”

“There is nothing you can do that you havena done already.” She brought her hand to her chin in an attempt to hide the scar. “It is just that I bear the mark of a—”

He tugged her into his embrace, covered her lips with his own, then lifted his head. “I have never asked about the scar you bear because it matters not to me what other think of you. I base my opinion on what I have seen with my own eyes and what I feel here.” He thumped his fist against his chest. “The past is the past and I see before me a beautiful, sweet young woman that I wish to make my bride,
ma gaol
.”

The fact he called her his love made turning him down even more difficult. “Even if I tell you that I have lain with a man in the past.” She stared at the floor, unable to look him in the eye.