Highland Lover (30 page)

the fact that they had come to his home uninvited, claimed a betrothal they knew did not exist, and

caused Alana pain.

He looked around the great hall and realized that there were only Fiona, Ewan, and himself in the

room. Gregor was a little surprised that none of his large family had gathered to find out if they had brought back any interesting news, and then he began to get suspicious. Even the men they had

ridden in with had disappeared, without even quenching their thirst. By the time Fiona finished the

apple she had been eating, Gregor was close to demanding that she hurry and answer his questions.

All that held his tongue was the knowledge that not only would Fiona be completely unmoved by

his demands, but Ewan would probably knock him flat for yelling at her.

“Mavis ran off with Brian,” Fiona finally said.

After staring at her in disbelief for a moment, Gregor sat down and poured himself an ale. It took

several deep drinks of the heady brew before his shock began to fade enough for him to think

clearly. Ewan and Fiona both looked a little amused and decidedly smug as they watched him. That,

added to the strange absence of any of his vast family, told Gregor that this was no great surprise to anyone but him.

“And Laird Kerr?” he asked.

“Set out after them the verra next morning, but he had verra little chance of catching them ere they

were married, for they had many hours’ start on him.”

“Ye suspected this would happen, didnae ye, Ewan,” Gregor said, fixing a hard stare on his elder

brother. “’Tis why ye talked me into going to Ardgleann with ye. Ye wished to give Mavis and

Brian time to decide that they were right for each other.”

Ewan picked Fiona up in his arms, sat down in his chair, and settled her on his lap. “Oh, I think they had already decided upon that ere ye came home. Mavis had already been here for a sennight.”

“Did ye want her, then?” asked Fiona.

“Nay, but that doesnae mean that I like being made a fool of. I ken weel that I am the verra last to

hear about this. If someone had e’en hinted at what was going on, I could have saved myself six

long days of struggling to decide what to do and say to untangle this mess.”

“Ah, but then ye would have stayed here, and I do think it was for the best that ye left,” said Ewan.

“Mavis was a wee bit cowed by her father. The moment ye returned, she began to stay close by

your side. I feared Laird Kerr could convince her that she had to marry you and she was too much

the dutiful daughter to tell him that she wished to have another mon for her husband. With ye gone,

Brian had the freedom to woo her and convince her to do as she wished to anyway.”

Gregor slowly drank a little more ale. He did wonder why he felt so annoyed. He should be pleased,

should be skipping about the room in unbridled joy. The tangle he had fretted over for so long had

been neatly untied with no effort needed on his part. Brian now had himself a good wife, land, and a

full purse. He also had Ian Kerr for a father-in-law, but Gregor suspected Brian would know how to

deal with the man. It was his pride that was hurting, he realized. Gregor suspected no man would

like to discover that a woman preferred another man over him, even if it was a woman he was about

to set aside for another. The fact that he was the last to know what had been going on stung, for it

made him look like a complete fool.

He quickly pushed those feelings aside. This was what he had wanted, even before he had met

Alana. He should be pleased no matter how it had come about or how much it had cost his pride.

Now he could turn all of his attention on Alana and soothe the hurt he had inflicted. Gregor felt a

flicker of fear enter his heart as he began to wonder exactly why he had not seen her yet.

“Where is Alana?” he asked, eager to settle matters between them.

“In her bedchamber,” replied Fiona. “She fled there when she heard ye had returned.”

That stung, but Gregor could understand. He had hurt her and, even though it was not widely known

that they had been lovers, he had shamed her, at least in her own mind. There was every chance she

thought he had simply used her to pass the time and feed his manly needs while they journeyed to

Scarglas, where he would be reunited with his betrothed.

Gregor did not dare to even guess how that had made Alana feel, and she had not allowed him to

explain everything. Worse, he had spent a lot of time during his journey to and from Ardgleann

planning what to say to Mavis, but had not thought of anything he could say to Alana. The idea that

he could just apologize most humbly and kiss her into forgiving him was a foolish one, but he had

clung to it with a desperation he winced to acknowledge.

Meeting Alana’s twin sister had proven very uncomfortable, although the sisters looked nothing

alike except in size and the shapes of their faces. Keira was a lovely woman and obviously had the

same bond with Alana that Alana had with her. Gregor was not able to shake the feeling that Keira

knew what he and Alana had shared and that he had hurt her sister. It had been tempting to ask the

woman if she knew what Alana was feeling now, even if she knew if Alana loved him, but he had

shied away from indulging in any confidences with the woman. Unfortunately, Keira had shared no

confidences with him, either, so he had little to tell Alana to soothe her concerns about Keira’s

happiness.

Liam had been much more forthcoming, and he could try to reassure Alana with those confidences.

Gregor suspected it would not be enough, however. Not only was he going to be giving her a man’s

view of it all, but she could probably still sense her sister’s lingering unhappiness. He had not

needed to reveal any of that to Liam, for the man had already known about the bond between the

sisters. Worse, it was Liam’s past that was making it difficult for him to win his wife’s trust. Gregor was concerned that his past was going to prove a problem as well. At least Liam had no bastard

children under his roof who would constantly remind his wife of that past.

“Ye willnae sort anything out by sitting there and scowling into your ale,” said Fiona.

Gregor scowled at her instead. “I doubt Alana wishes to see me. ’Struth, she has made that verra

clear by fleeing to her room when I arrived.”

“Ye should have told her about Mavis,” said Fiona, ignoring her husband’s murmured protest about

her interfering. “Nay, I will say my piece. After all, he left me here to deal with his betrothed and his lover beneath the same roof. It could have proven verra awkward for me.”

“I ken that I made a mistake when I didnae tell Alana about Mavis, but ’tis verra hard to correct that mistake when she willnae listen to what I have to say.”

“Aye, ye made a big mistake by nay telling her the truth ere she arrived here to face the woman, but

ye made an even bigger one by fretting more about Mavis’s pride and feelings than ye did about

Alana’s.”

“That isnae true,” Gregor protested a little weakly because he had the sudden realization that it

might well have appeared so to Alana.

As he thought over how he had behaved in the few short hours he had been at Scarglas, he decided

that might was the wrong word. It had undoubtedly appeared so to Alana. He had been still reeling

with the shock of finding Mavis here claiming him as her betrothed and facing Alana’s hurt and

anger, and he had not been thinking too clearly. All he had been able to think of was the need to

keep Mavis and her father happy until he could quietly end the misunderstanding and get them out

of Scarglas. Guilt over having wooed the woman for her dowry as much as anything else had kept

him concerned for her feelings, for not humiliating her by disclaiming her before one and all.

Instead, he had disclaimed Alana.

He cursed. The number of missteps he had made with Alana continued to pile up. He should have

done something, even forced her to listen to him, but he had played the kind groom to Mavis’s

smiling bride. If it had been Alana who had done that to him, had acted so before his eyes, he would

not have been so quiet about it all. No, there would have been one dead man before the meal had

ended.

But, he thought a little crossly, he would have at least allowed Alana to explain. If she had just

listened to him for a minute, all he had done at the meal that night would have been understandable.

Gregor knew Alana would never have wanted her pride to take precedence over anyone else’s. She

would not have wanted Mavis hurt or humiliated, either.

“Ye shall have to make her sit down and listen to ye,” said Fiona.

“That easy, is it?” he asked, his voice sharp with an anger that was mostly directed at himself.

“Easy would have been if ye had told her about Mavis. Now ye must not only explain that, but why

ye didnae tell her.” Fiona sighed. “Can ye nay see? Ye have made Alana think that all she was to ye

was a convenient woman, someone to warm the blankets ere ye arrived home to marry another.”

“Ye speak verra freely.”

“I must, or this tangle could become a knot that will ne’er be untied, and that would cost both ye

and Alana far too dearly. I think ye held back a lot of words as the two of ye traveled here, perhaps afraid to give her any promises or the like until ye were completely free, but it has cost ye now.

Alana has naught from ye, nay, not e’en a few whispered words, to cling to and believe that this is

all just a mistake. Ye gave her naught to set her trust in. Ewan says ye consider Alana your mate,

but I fear ye have given her naught to make her think the same.”

There was no denying that. His reasons had seemed all that was honorable. It was wrong to make

any vows or promises to one woman when one had just come from wooing another for his wife and

had not let it be known that that was not going to happen. But it had put him in the tight corner

Fiona now described. The woman he wanted now had nothing to tell her why she should trust him

or believe that anything aside from passion had passed between them.

“And of course, she now kens about your sons.”

Gregor stared down at the top of the table and wondered if it would help if he banged his head on it

a few times. “I wasnae really hiding them.” He grimaced. “I had just forgotten about them. The

trouble with Mavis was all I could think of, aside from what was happening between Alana and

me.” He frowned. “If I can sort this all out in my favor, she will accept the lads, willnae she?” he

asked, and he knew she would even as he presented the question to Fiona. He accepted the

disgusted look she gave him as his due.

“Of course she will and ye ken it. Now, I believe she is actually in the solar. All I will say is that she promised me she would listen to you. The rest is up to you. If ye cannae convince her, soothe her

hurt and all of that, she will leave for Ardgleann and I willnae stop her this time.”

“Ye are a verra managing woman, Fiona,” he said and grinned when she just smiled. “I shall do

what I can. Since I ken she wanted news of her sister and now I ken about her promise to ye, at least I can get a foot in the door to plead my case.”

He made his way to the solar feeling both hopeful and terrified. This was why he had shied away

from love. It was undignified for a man to go to a woman feeling as if he was facing the hardest

battle of his life and was actually considering the possibility of a craven retreat.

Gregor sighed as he stared at the door to the solar and tried to brace himself for the coming

confrontation. He was facing the most important battle of his life, if not the hardest, for he knew the future would be cold and empty without Alana at his side. That emptiness he had felt before

deciding he would cease tumbling any woman when the mood struck and get himself a wife seemed

like nothing of any real importance compared to what he would feel if he could not win Alana’s

heart. In the time he had been away from Scarglas, he had become all too aware of how he liked

having her at his side all night, waking to her in the morning, and knowing she was close at hand

during the day. Nay, not liked, he told himself, determined to cease deceiving himself—needed.

His tap upon the door did not immediately bring an invitation to enter. He waited only for a moment

before he considered just marching in there. Common sense told him that was hardly the way to

soften Alana’s anger, but the longer he stood outside the door like some sad penitent, the more

annoyed he got. Gregor was just reaching out to open the door when he heard Alana’s voice issue a

clearly reluctant invitation to enter. As he opened the door, he prayed that he could find all the

appropriate words to bring her back into his arms.

Alana watched Gregor enter the room, softly close the door behind him, and turn to look at her. The

sight of him made her heart skip and she cursed herself for a witless fool. While it was true that he was now completely free, it did not change matters between them very much. He still had a lot of

lies to explain and she still had no idea of how he felt about her beyond desire.

She thought of how happy she had been that those thieves had not been able to abuse her and kill all

the beauty of what she and Gregor had shared. What violence had not killed, Gregor’s lies had. At

the moment, with the pain of betrayal still a hard knot inside her and no words of love to cling to,

she could not recall those moments in his arms without wincing in pain and embarrassment over her