Authors: Cathy MacRae,DD MacRae
He continued to stare wistfully in her direction, long after she left his sight. It seemed she carried away much of the day’s beauty with her. Scrubbing his face with his hands, Duncan tried to dismiss the absurd notion.
Where the devil did that come from? Ye are no beardless lad to be taken in by such sentimental foolishness.
’Twould be wiser to attend to the facts of the situation. The blasted woman insists she doesnae need my protection
. Shaking his head, he could only imagine what her brother and father must have suffered. Would the lass ever abide direction or care from a man?
He’d finally found a woman who stirred his interests beyond mere physical desires. However, the stubborn lass seemed more interested in fighting with him than anything else. Her rigid independence abraded his patience, leaving behind the polished sheen of frustration. Fine. If she wanted to fight, he would find a way for them to train together. Perhaps that would be the path to gain her trust. He strode toward the gate, anticipating a strenuous bout of sword play with the men, the perfect way to vent his aggravation.
Chapter 8
Anna found Nessa and Isla grinning widely when she arrived upstairs from the ride. Ignoring them, she sat at the table and poured a cup of cider. Every so often the girls stole a glance in her direction. After a few minutes, she couldn’t ignore them any longer.
“Very well, ladies, what is it? Do I have dirt on my face or smell of the stables?”
They both giggled.
Flummoxed by their behavior, Anna turned her chair toward them, arms crossed. “Speak up, what is it?”
Ignoring the question, Nessa sat next to her. “Did ye enjoy the ride?”
Arching a brow, Anna decided to play along. “Yes, it was wonderful to see my horse. Your brother took me riding around the village and the surrounding area. He showed me the loch, explaining the boundaries of your territories and the neighboring clans. ’Tis quite beautiful here.”
“So if ye like it here, ye will stay?” Nessa’s enthusiasm shone on her face.
Anna smiled. The girl’s continued desire for her to stay, to become part of her family, tempted. Perhaps she would stay through winter. She’d have a few months to form a plan for the future.
“I have not made a decision yet, but could not wish for a lovelier place to live. Though I think it will take some time to get used to the cold.”
Nessa seemed content with her answer. “How was yer horse?”
“He is quite well, and as glad to see me as I, him.”
“Aye, my brother has personally cared for him. He refused to let anyone else near. Duncan treated him as his own.”
Anna didn’t know what to say, but an odd sensation fluttered in her stomach. “’Twas very kind of him.”
Nessa giggled again, and Anna’s eyes narrowed in frustration. “Nessa, what am I missing?”
Nessa studied Anna for a moment, her brow furrowed. “Ye really dinnae know, do ye?” Isla stepped to Nessa’s side. They looked at each other and giggled.
“Ladies,” Anna warned, reaching the end of her patience.
This sent them into another fit of giggles.
“I give up.” Finishing the cider, she placed dried chamomile flowers in a cup and walked to the fire, where a kettle hung. Pouring hot water over the petals, she sat in the chair facing the fire, ignoring the two girls.
Nessa placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder. “I am sorry to tease. I thought ’twas obvious—that ye knew.”
Anna gazed at her over the rim of her cup. “Know what, Nessa?”
“Duncan favors ye.” Nessa grinned again.
Anna sputtered. “What?”
Nessa nodded, glee lighting her eyes. “Everyone sees it. I thought ye would, too.”
Anna gaped, at a loss for words.
Nessa frowned. “Anna, why are ye so surprised? I would think ye used to the attentions of men by now.”
Anna stared at the fire.
When she didn’t respond, Nessa started again. “Is it so difficult a thing to think my brother would find ye bonny?”
The odd sensation in Anna’s stomach flared again, this time bordering on pain. Men always fit into one of two categories in her life: enemy or ally. Enemies were to be watched, not trusted. Like those idiots who sought to court her. So very obvious. Never really interested in her, but in how much land and coin came with her in marriage. Allies were kin, or comrades in arms, people to rely on not to betray you. She had no room in her life for a third category. A man who, like an enemy, could injure or betray, though posing as the strongest of allies. The very thought chilled her blood.
“I—I am not attractive to men.”
Nessa flopped onto the edge of the hearthstone, staring dubiously at her. “Anna, whatever do ye mean?”
With a sweep of her hand she indicated her leather armor hanging from a hook on the wall. “What man wants a woman who dresses or behaves such? Where I am from, men only want women as decoration, servants, or for breeding. I am interested in none of those.”
She turned to stare into the flames on the hearth, her voice dropping to a whisper. “When men look at me, they do not see a woman but an aberration. Someone to be ridiculed—or conquered.”
They do not understand the cruel jests—from overbearing men and the fairer sex—or how I pretended not to care
. The pain of admitting this to another took her by surprise. She’d told herself for many years she was unworthy of the love a man gave a woman, and had hidden from the ache of this knowledge. It was much easier to recall the negatives of relationships she saw, rather than remembering the love and tenderness her parents shared, or other couples she knew who loved each other. Internally shaking her head no, she repeated her oft-spoken words.
I am not meant for love.
Anna lifted her chin, straightening in the chair. “I am simply a curiosity, an oddity. He is only interested because I am different—because I have defeated a number of men in his presence—nothing more.”
Nessa stared at her, the surprise on her face fading to sadness. Reaching for Anna’s hand, she drew her near, folding her in a firm embrace. Pulling back, she squeezed Anna’s hands, concern filling her eyes. “Anna, truly ye dinnae see yerself. I have admired ye so much, I havenae considered the cost ye paid to become as ye are. Still, it doesnae change the fact ye are bonny.”
Kissing Nessa’s forehead, Anna whispered, “Thank you. You are always so kind to me.”
* * *
They supped with the family in the great hall, amongst the rest of the clan, for the first time since her arrival. Anna sat on the ladies’ side of the table, furthest away from the laird. Duncan sat next to his father on the other side. Anna kept to herself, not speaking unless spoken to, giving only simple answers.
The rest of the clan seemed to have grown used to her presence. Overt stares and glances from the lower tables became subtle. The weight of their gazes un-balanced her as she sat on display at the high board.
Anna rose from the table when Mairi did, marking her first chance to leave. Duncan took the opportunity to approach.
“Would ye be interested in another ride tomorrow?”
Her stomach churned when he drew near. She chided herself for such an absurd reaction and replied by asking a question first.
“If I were to ride alone in your territory, would I be safe?” From the corner of her eye she watched the laird’s belly quiver with silent laughter.
Duncan took her question seriously. “I dare say ye would be safer than anyone fool enough to cross yer path. The laird made it clear. Ye are not to be harmed.”
Against her better judgment, and because she grew weary of remaining indoors, Anna acquiesced to his question. “Yes, I would like to ride again tomorrow. When?”
Duncan quirked a roguish smile. “How about after we break our fast? Da and I thought it wise for ye to become more familiar with our lands and to have our people get used to seeing ye about.”
“Very well, after the morning meal then. Thank you,” she answered in a stiff voice, forcing a fleeting smile, hoping she didn’t betray her edginess in his presence. She turned and followed Nessa upstairs.
Nessa bubbled with excitement.
“’Tis just riding,” Anna protested.
The girl spun around to look at Anna, her excitement undimmed. “I know.”
The next morning, Anna rose before the sun. Dressing quietly to avoid waking Nessa, she slipped out and made her way to the stables. She grabbed a shovel and nearby wooden cart and began clearing out Orion’s stall. He watched, occasionally nuzzling her shoulder. Lifting his head, he nickered. Anna turned to see who approached.
“What do ye think ye are doing?” Duncan blustered.
“My horse, my responsibility,” she shot back defiantly.
“Noblewomen dinnae muck stalls. We have stable boys for such chores.” His voice rolled thick with frustration.
She wiped sweat from her brow, leaned against the shovel and laughed. “I have been responsible for taking care of my own horse since I was old enough to ride, which includes mucking his stall. You must believe me a delicate thing if you think I cannot do a little work.”
“Ye, delicate? Nae, I would never make such a foolish mistake.” Humor crept into his voice.
Anna had to admit, yet again, he truly was a handsome man when his eyes crinkled with amusement. His smile did things to her insides she’d rather not consider. She could almost see the young boy he must have been. Both cheeks dimpled slightly, easing his appearance. The strangest urge to touch them rose, curious if they were as soft as she imagined, wondering what the stubble on his face would feel like under her fingers.
He wheeled the cart out to dump it into a large pile for the villagers as she put fresh hay in Orion’s stall. He leaned against the doorpost. “Why are ye here so early?”
“I feel better, and enjoy time alone tending my horse. ’Tis one of my favorite ways to think.”
“Aye, mine as well.”
“Sometimes I prefer being around horses to people. Horses do not judge your station, appearance or behavior if you treat them well.” Anna frowned, silently chastising herself for disclosing so much. What imp possessed her to allow him a glimpse of her soul?
Duncan tilted his head, drew his brows together and stared at her. “I know exactly what ye mean.” He stood silently as she finished her work. “If ye wish, I will fetch breakfast to take with us. We could make an early start.”
“That would be fine.”
Duncan departed the stables and returned with a small sack. Handing her an apple and a small loaf of sweet bread filled with nuts, seeds and berries, he hung a water skin on Orion’s saddle. “Anything in particular ye would like to do today?”
“Yes. I would like to cut a quarter staff, and am interested in gaining skins to line my cloak. I am not accustomed to the cold and damp here. I can only imagine how it will be come winter.” An involuntary shiver rippled through her as she thought about snow and the wind, which never ceased to blow.
“We have a man who can fill such a need. He is the village fletcher and cooper. A quarter staff would prove no problem for him. With regard to skins, we could simply purchase them. If not in the village, then from one of our neighbors. Ye hardly have to hunt them down yerself.”
“Duncan MacGregor, you confuse me yet again with a delicate noblewoman in need of charity. I am fully capable of cutting my own staff and skinning my own hides. I need only a satisfactory branch or billet and access to tools. With regard to the cloak, I know not what fur-bearing creatures live in your lands, so I will bow to your superior knowledge of where and what I should seek.”
Duncan laughed at her reply, and Anna thought it was as pleasing a sound as she’d ever heard. His deep baritone resonated like a distant peal of thunder. His face lit with humor and though his laughter subsided, mirth lingered in his eyes. The sound and sight brought an answering smile she couldn’t hold back.
He should laugh more often. His stern look does not suit him. I wonder what causes such a dour guise.
“Aye, it appears I have made the same mistake again. I am usually a fast learner. I should think we can easily find a billet. Such tools are here in the stables. As far as what animals should have the good fortune to grace yer cloak, I would suggest waiting until Martinmas when their fur is fullest. Summer coats willnae do as good a job ye wish. As for what we would target, I suggest mink, fox or beaver. I dare say ye will find any of those satisfactory.”
The thought occurred she would need thicker clothes to stay warm in the meantime. “Very well. I accept your advice. I will have to cope with the cold until then.”
“’Twill not be necessary. We can have a set of woolens made for ye. ’Tis a herder in the Graham clan who owns a special breed of sheep. The wool from this breed is very fine and soft indeed. ’Twould be no trouble to obtain enough to have two sets of woolens made if ye wish.”
They both mounted and rode toward the village.
“Sounds like a fair solution. I will be happy to pay, of course.”
Duncan tilted his head. “My da willnae allow ye to pay for anything. We owe ye Nessa’s life. He was quite serious about accepting ye as his daughter. He would no more let ye pay for such a necessity than he would Nessa. Ye are under our care.”