Highfall (6 page)

12

Sadly troubles never come alone.  It seems as if they call out to each other and gang up at the same time in a person's life.  And in most cases it is at the least expected moment.

Annika's and Stefan's town had a famous gipsy mafia honcho, who called himself King Chicho. He ran everything and everyone in town and spread trouble.  Everybody tried to avoid him or, in case that first option was not possible, to please him.

Annika had never heard of him since she spent most of her time either at work, or with Stefan and his drug buddies.  Even Stefan didn’t know about King Chicho since drugs had kept him so high he was completely out of touch with reality.

One day this King's wife had some problems with her health and turned up at the hospital where Annika was working.  Worse still, the woman came in when it was Annika’s shift and Annika had to examine her.

When Annika entered the room she saw that the woman looked like a gipsy and was behaving very strangely but she paid no attention.   A patient is a patient no matter where she’s from, who she is and what she does in life.   Everybody is equal in the face of disease.

When King Chico’s wife saw Annika, she looked her up and down with a scornful expression on her face, then stood up, extended her hand to be shaken and introduced herself

“Queen Selka,” she announced with a voice full of dignity and pride.

Annika thought the woman had either to be crazy or else she was pulling her leg, so she replied with equal dignity and pride

“Princess Annika,” which she found amusing.

“What?  Are you mocking me?” the woman cried at Annika, snatching back her hand, turning all red and storming out, mouthing angry words in a foreign language that Annika did not understand.

Annika stared at the closed door, thought for a few seconds and, not finding any logical explanation, decided to forget the whole story since she did not want to spoil her mood over such a trifling incident.  She did not realise then that not only would the incident not be forgotten but that it would also determine Annika's future career.

****

A few hours later the director of the hospital rang Annika before her shift was over and asked her to come and see him.

“Hi,” Annika entered the room with a big smile on her face.  It was amazing how she could keep her positive mood with all the pain she had in her life at that moment.

“Hi Annika,” the director had a sad look in his eyes.  He was a very kind, middle-aged man who was known for his fair attitude and judgments.

“Why did you mock Selka today?  Didn’t you know you were playing with fire and nothing good would come of it?”

“What do you mean?” asked Annika, having no clue what he was talking about.

“You don’t know who Selka is?”

“No.”   Annika's innocent look told him that she was not lying.

The director was amazed; he had not even considered that option and thought that Annika had done it on purpose.  So, things were actually even worse than he had first thought.

Nevertheless he did what he was told to do.  He fired Annika.

13

After getting fired, Annika could not stand staying at home any longer and a friend helped her find a job at a trade-fair reception/information desk.  She received the visitors at a desk as they came in, and explained what was where.  The job was not inspiring and she really missed her patients but for the time being it was the best she could get.  The depression she was in needed some distraction in order to become bearable and the job helped.  But that alone was not enough, of course.  She lacked communication, interaction and people in her life.  Annika was an outgoing person and being isolated only made things worse.

Back then very few people had a computer at home, let alone a computer connected to the internet.  That was a completely new and unknown concept, used only by programmers.

In her new job she became acquainted with a few programmers, and they helped her buy a computer and connect it to the internet.  Now Annika had a space where she could escape from reality. There she ran no risk of bumping into Stefan, from whom she was hiding by going to places he never went and going out at times when she knew for sure he’d be asleep.

Her escape was to visit a chat room where programmers met and talked.  There were about ten of them.  They were always the same people talking to each other every day, sharing their thoughts, ideas and experiences.  Nothing very exciting or inspiring since everyone apart from Annika was a programmer.

After work she was mainly at home.  On the very rare occasions she went out, she picked places where she was certain that Stefan would never show up.  As soon as it was time for Stefan’s fix, Annika would shut herself up at home, just to be on the safe side.

At home she was mainly in the programmers’ chat room, talking to the nice intelligent programmers, who were mainly pretty shy and not really at all hot!

It was yet another ordinary depressing, painful day.  Annika came home from work, ate an apple instead of dinner with her family and shut herself up in her room.  She sat on the bed and opened her laptop, for which she had paid all the savings she had.

“Guys, is there anyone out there who knows anything about the procedure for registering a will?”
That was the first thing she saw on the screen.  The question had been posted by someone using the nickname Saviour.  This was someone new, because she knew all ten of the regulars.

“Why do you need to write a will?” she asked, since she could not imagine someone with a mortal disease spending his limited time in a chat room.

“Because in two days’ time, I am going bungee jumping with friends and you never know what might happen,” the reply appeared on the screen.

“So you are rich, then?  So rich that you worry about who will get the money after you die?”

“No, not at all.”

“Then why are you so worried about the will?”

“I have a lot of brilliant but unrealised ideas, which I don’t want to share with other people yet – unless something happens to me.  If it did, it would be a pity to take those ideas with me.”

Annika thought the guy was really strange.  He sounded weird and seemed to be too emotional for a programmer.

They talked for a few hours.  With each typed word Annika felt closer to him.  There was a certain warmth, innocence and purity in
Saviour that she felt intuitively and liked a lot.  It is always easy to be open with a stranger whom you do not know and most probably will not meet.  You end up saying things you would most probably not tell others.  Annika felt as if she were talking to herself while she was sharing her thoughts and views with him.

“I have nothing to lose at this moment - neither wealth, nor a boyfriend.  I don't have any ideas either, so I'm a perfect candidate for a bungee jumper.  No will required,” Annika felt sad as she posted this message and realised how true it was.

“You know what?  Why don't you come to our city the day after tomorrow and join us?  We can jump together.”

“Why not?”

The answer came naturally and Annika did not even need time to think it over.

After three hours of chat conversation, they agreed on the time and place for a meeting and logged off.  Annika’s room felt empty with the dark screen and the empty chat room.

14

Annika was very excited in the morning.  She stood under the shower and thought that she was going to do a very risky thing later in the day.  And it was not only about the bungee jumping.  It was about going to a city she did not know, to meet a guy she did not know and to jump from who knew how high a bridge.

At the same time she felt something positive inside.  There was something akin to a small hope of being reborn.  A hope that things would be better, that days would become lighter and that it would be time to stop living in the past and time to give a chance to something new.  Her pain was still there, but it had calmed down and was partly suppressed.  She did not want to cry over it any longer.  She was starting to heal... slowly; taking very small steps, she was walking away from all the bitterness, the questions, the pain and the tears.

Annika put on her jeans and a T-shirt, took her backpack and went out.  It was a bright, sunny day and she smiled to herself, anticipating the biggest jump of her life.

The journey took two hours by bus and what there was to see was nothing special.  She spent the time listening to music on her CD player and daydreaming.  She dreamed of the day when her thoughts and feelings would be free of Stefan, when she would not go back to him in her thoughts a thousand times a day, and when she would finally be able to live her own life and not his.

When she got out of the bus, looked around and did not see anyone, she slightly panicked.  After all, how could she know that the guy had not been lying, that he really intended to meet her and that he lived in the city?

Cyberspace is a tricky place and theoretically he might be anyone – a middle-aged man, a maniac, a woman... anyone.  Who was to say that what he said was true?  He might not be jumping today at all and maybe that was just a way to attract her attention.  She was becoming more disillusioned with each passing minute.

Then finally Annika saw two guys walking towards her.  She immediately recognized the one she spoke to on the net.  He had the widest, brightest, most genuine smile in the world.  His smile made Annika forget all the negative thoughts of a few minutes before, and she regained her certainty that she had done the right thing by taking a risk and coming.

“Hi,” said the guy who she surmised was Saviour.

“Hi,” Annika smiled back, “Annika.”

“Vasko,” they both shook hands.

“And this is Angel,” Vasko looked at his friend and Annika shook his hand too.

They were university friends and although pretty close, they did not have too much in common.  The three of them walked to the place, where they were supposed to meet the rest of the crazy bunch and from where the mini bus would take them to their bridge.  When they reached the place, there were some ten more people, mainly guys, waiting for them.  Everyone was excited.  They all spoke too much in order to hide the fear and fight the impatience caused by the anticipation.  Annika was even more excited.  It had been a few months since she had met any new people.

Vasko's presence made her feel certain that nothing bad would happen to her.  Vasko was a very kind, warm and childishly naive person.  He wasn’t as shy as her programmer colleagues, but pretty close.  Angel, Vasko and Annika spent most of the time talking about themselves, asking questions and cracking jokes.  They felt like kids playing truant from school.  They knew they were doing something they were not supposed to do, but that fact alone made them excited, happy and naughty.

They finally reached the bridge.  The crazy group got out of the mini bus and headed towards it. When they looked down and saw how high it was, most of them laughed nervously to hide their fear.  It was high, scary and thrilling at the same time.  Annika looked down and thought that maybe that was exactly what she needed now.  To be shaken out of herself, to get a feeling of free-fall, of danger, of adrenaline, of some crazy act, something thoughtless and dangerous… She was ready to fly, to fall and start things all over again.  This was going to be the symbolic moment of healing, breathing and rebirth.

Vasko watched Annika standing next to him.  Something unexplainable attracted him to her. There was something mysterious and at the same time familiar in Annika, something that kept him wanting to know her better, deeper, stronger.

The group stood and listened to the safety instructions.  Then they signed a paper to say that they would not sue anyone if something happened.  Some of them refused to jump when they saw the paper.  The risk had materialized and in turn their common sense had come back and prevailed.

The rest were still as determined as before.  What reasons for such desperation or need for adrenaline each one had, Annika did not know.  Her own story was clear and she could have done far worse things, like turn to drugs, cut her veins, etc.

What about the others?  What had driven them there?  Mostly she was curious about Vasko.  Why had he decided to jump after all?

Although both were interested in each other, neither of them considered taking any action.  Annika's story explained it all.  She was not ready, her soul was still occupied and her heart not yet free.

As for Vasko... he had two stories instead of one.  Together neither was as dramatic as Annika's story.  Still, for him they were enough to push him over the bridge.