Higher Octave (Heavy Influence #2.5) (2 page)

Boom. I tapped
post,
and there it was,
my mug on Instagram – the caption:
I’m
back! Get ready, Killas. New solo tracks are
comin’
. That post fed the rest of my
accounts, and my phone began to explode with reply push
notifications. It was music to my ears, and fire burst inside me.
An excitement I’d thought I’d never feel again.

Marty stood next to me, smiling, taking his
own pictures. He’d never been to San Francisco. I’d rehired Marty
to drive me around and to be my wingman. With a conscious decision
to move on from the past, to make amends with those I’d hurt so
deeply, included my mother and Notting, I was more determined than
ever to bury the past. I’d done so much damage, it was hard to
choose where to begin, but I started with Marty.

I’d not driven a car since my third DUI. Two
happened within a sixth month period, and I’d spent almost six
months in jail with heavy fines and a massive settlement. Not that
I couldn’t drive; I just didn’t want to. I’d almost killed a
teenaged girl running a red light, t-boning her car a year and a
half prior, and I had not touched a steering wheel since. The
desire to be alone behind the wheel was a million miles away.

I swam in my eager thoughts
of a new life, as I prepared to run face-first into my old life at
Bobby and Marshall’s engagement dinner. They’d moved to the little
bay side town of Tiburon, just south of San Francisco. Marshall
worked in San Francisco as a fashion design assistant, and Bobby
still toured as a hired hand with various bands from time to time.
The success from our band,
Rita’s
Revolt
, allowed Bobby a very comfortable
life. Money from all of our music publishing would always be coming
in, and it made me feel good that I’d made the choice to include
him and Dump in the publishing rights, even though I’d been the one
to write all of our songs. I thought of Sienna and sincerely hoped
she was doing well. I didn’t think she’d be at this dinner, but a
bit of fear ran through me. I didn’t want my past to cause any
drama for Bobby and Marshall.

“Hey, Marty.”

“Yeah?”
“Have you heard anything from or about Sienna?”

I strolled over to Marty, dodging a sea of
Japanese tourists, young and old, exciting a tour bus. I smiled at
the ones who’d stared at me, wondering if any of them would
recognize me. Japan was one of our biggest fanbases, but if anyone
did, no one said anything. I’d fallen off the face of the planet
after Dump’s death, and especially after that stunt at The Roxy
with the song I’d made with Aly. Other than bad tabloid press – I’d
vanished.

“No, I haven’t.” He shook his head with
concern.

“Yeah. Me neither.” Sienna told me to leave
her alone. She’d apologized to me, as if it was all her fault we’d
done the unthinkable. She’d said she wanted to start a new life,
with none of us in it.

Marty looked at his watch. “We better get
going.”

My heart speed up. “It’s now or never.”

I had no idea what Aly looked like
anymore.

***

The cool bay breeze rustled my hair, and my
date’s heels clicked on the cement sidewalk, echoing off the
surrounding cottages. We snaked up and around a short hill to
Marshall and Bobby’s home, just a few blocks away from my small
hotel. All I could think about was how it would all unfold. I just
wanted to get it over with.

A horizontal dark wood fence surrounded a
small well-maintained yard of a one-story contemporary home with
Balinese accents. Little white lights were strung up the slender
tree trunks of what looked like prehistoric bonsai trees, and
cracked-glass lanterns the size of grapefruits hung throughout
their branches.

When I stepped into the house, I wondered
whom I’d see first. I turned into the vast living room. Oversized
contemporary sofas and white upholstered chairs sat on sealed
cement floors. Dark wood coffee tables and end tables sat upon
groovy patterned blue area rugs. The ceiling was vaulted, and beams
and silver ducts were exposed. Modern silver lighting fixtures hung
down here and there, and cactus and succulent plants accented the
sparse setting. It was an open floor plan, and the kitchen was at
the far end.

I scanned the crowd, looking for Aly. She
was somewhere near. I could feel it. I heard Marshall’s voice and
turned and the first set of eyes I met were Aly’s. She smiled and
waved. I did the same, and looked back at my companion, whose long
blond hair flowed down her back over her black body-hugging dress.
She was beautiful, no doubt. I wondered what Aly thought of seeing
us together, and I looked around for Nathan. Instead, I spotted
Nadine, Aly’s best friend since high school.

“Alyssa!” Marshall’s voice
sang out, and I tried not to follow his movement. His hair was
still lavender, and he wore a white button-up and cuffed white
pants. His feet were bare, and his toenails were pink. “Look at
you, you’re so ravishing in that red dress! Holy moly!
And
when did you cut your
hair! I love it!” Marshall cooed at Alyssa. It was hard for anyone
not to stare at them.

Marshall was pinging off the walls, and
Bobby went over to greet them with arms wide open, embracing Aly
tightly. “You look great. Wow,” he complimented Aly, putting his
arm around Marshall’s shoulders.

“Oh my God! Let me get a picture of you two!
I’m so excited for you guys.” Aly dug in her little black clutch,
taking out a phone, and turned to place her bag on the arm of the
sofa nearest her. She glanced up over the room, in my direction. I
was staring at her, right over the shoulder of my date, and our
eyes locked.

She looked away quickly and
turned back to Marshall and Bobby. “Okay, get ready.” She held the
phone up clumsily. I could tell she was nervous, and it made me
want to go to her. Bobby gave her a gentle smile and mouthed
breathe
.

“Nadine, will you please take our picture?”
She jumped in the middle of Marshall and Bobby.

I couldn’t take it anymore, and had to go
say hello. I grabbed the hand of my date and strolled over to
them.

“Long time, no see,” I
said, smiling, letting go of Lillianna’s hand. I couldn’t help but
give Aly an adoring sweep with my eyes and extended my arms for a
hug. I had to feel her. She didn’t move. “Shorter hair suits you.
Polished elegance. The lady in red
is
ravishing,” I complimented, but
she wasn’t having it.

I tilted my head and then
stepped to hug her. Aly loosely wrapped her arms around me and I
breathed her in. “You’re beautiful, but you know that,” I said
softly in her ear as I backed away. She looked flustered, and her
cheeks were bright pink –
Yes! I got to
her.

Nadine introduced herself to my date, and
they chatted politely enough, but I cringed, like a permanent tick,
at Nadine’s intrusive questions. Lilliana answered with
light-hearted grace: “We’re just friends. My name is Lilliana. I’m
from Scandinavia. I’m a model.”

I couldn’t stop smiling at Aly and the
forced enjoyment that was stamped on her face. I knew her so well.
I could have laughed out loud. If it were like old days, she would
have turned to me, mock barfing. It was killing her as much as it
was killing me. The tension seemed to subside as we continued to
break the ice, with the exception of me continuously glancing at
Aly’s hand, the one with the ring on it. I wondered if she noticed.
It was as if she kept trying to hide it with her other hand.

Bobby announced that dinner was now ready
and being served. He slid open doors that I thought were a wall,
exposing another vast room that held two fourteen-person tables.
They were elegantly decorated with vases filled with banana leaves
and Birds of Paradise. Masculine granite-colored table settings
were expertly placed.

“Open seating, my friends!” Marshall clapped
his hands.

Aly didn’t hesitate to sit down, and Nadine
sat across from her. I couldn’t help myself, and sat right next to
Aly. My date sat across from me, next to Nadine.

“Well then. Seeing this is gonna get
interesting.” Nadine clucked her tongue and shot me a brief stare,
one that Lilliana missed. “I’m gonna grab a bottle.”

I gave a hearty laugh, and Lilliana laughed
with me, even though she was totally clueless. Aly huffed. “Are you
fucking with me? Leave me alone,” she leaned over, whispering to
me.

Aly glanced at Lilliana, who had zero idea
what was happening. Lilliana struck up a conversation with a person
behind her. It looked like someone Marshall worked with, a well
put-together, stylish male. I’d seen them chatting earlier.

“I’m just happy to see you. Just trying to
catch up,” I said quietly, smirking. I wanted to waggle my eyebrows
at her, but she would have probably knocked me out.

“Mmhmm.” Aly took a big gulp of wine, trying
to ignore me.

Nadine returned with the bottle she’d
promised, clunking it down on the table.

As we sat, being served our salads, Nadine
shared what she’d been up to, and so did I. We ate our dinner of
Chilean sea bass and Asian-inspired stir-fry with saffron rice. I
asked Aly every question I could think of about her school, her
travels playing volleyball, her parents, and brother and sister,
Kyle and Allison. I explained to Lilliana that Aly and I grew up
next door to each other, and that was it. I didn’t ask once about
Nathan or the ring she wore. It was as if they didn’t exist.
Lilliana shared her latest travel adventure to Morocco—she had
fallen off a camel and broke three ribs.

“I’m just starting to work out again. I
gained so much weight,” she said as she sipped her champagne.

Aly sighed, rolling her eyes at me, and
excused herself with the empty bottle of wine. I got up a moment
later and followed her. I walked into the kitchen and didn’t see
her right away. I searched the perimeter and noticed a nook off to
the right of the kitchen. A wine chiller sat under the small
counter, and Aly stood next to it. I looked around as I made my way
toward her, making sure no one was watching me.

“Hey.” I said, trying not to scare her. She
glanced over her shoulder as I slid the door halfway shut. I could
no longer see the kitchen. That meant no one could see us.

“Jake, what are you doing?” She turned back,
focusing on opening the bottle. “Aren’t you worried your date might
come looking for you?”

“No.” I kept my voice low.

“What do you want?” She practically
whispered.

I stepped up next to her
and leaned against the counter, watching her spin the opener into
the cork. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. One last,
sober
, time.” I swallowed
hard, trying to control myself.

She closed her eyes. “Okay.”

“Let me help you.”

I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms
around her. Feeling her warmth shocked to life what I thought was
dead. I knew she felt it too, because her breath hitched. I ran my
hands over her smooth arms and held her hands in mine. She let go
of the wine bottle and opener and laid her hands flat on the
counter. I placed my palms on top of hers hands, coaxing our
fingers to curl together. Then wrapped our arms together, around
her.

2

Alyssa Montgomery. Aly. My
Alycat,
I thought as I held her. The ring
Nathan gave her mocked me beneath my grip –
‘I won. She’s mine.’

Nah, not yet, motherfucker. Not until she
says ‘I do.’

I would ignore it. I wouldn’t say one word
about it. She wasn’t married yet; that’s all that mattered to me.
Her little red dress accentuated her tiny waist just right. It
beaconed me to take it in my hands, to spin her around to face me,
but I remained still. She was killing me without even knowing; or
maybe she did.

I’d mentally prepared to see her, one
hundred percent. I’d convinced myself that she’d moved on after
Bobby informed me of her engagement. It was just the kick in the
pants I needed. I’d resigned myself to thanking her for fueling my
musical fire; I had to give her that. Everything I’d written was a
derivative of my experiences and longing for her. I knew this and
looked forward to finding other inspiration. I’d never wanted that
before. I had a new future in music, and I was devoted to healing
and staying clean and healthy. I’d reinvented myself. This was what
I’d believed, until I laid eyes on her again. The connection was
instant. The invisible, unrelenting bond gripped and smothered me.
I was pulled to her as if I had no control. I didn’t have any
control. When she stepped into the room, she radiated a force so
extreme it rushed to me and swallowed me whole.

And now here I was…no control, holding her,
hoping it wouldn’t be the last time.

Having her in my arms again and filling my
senses had me losing my mind. Standing behind her, I wanted to
press my growing desire against her, but I abstained. She was
fighting me, and then she wasn’t. I knew she still wanted me, too;
otherwise she would have turned, said something nasty, and left.
She allowed me to touch her, to kiss her, and feel her skin without
bolting from the small room. I knew she was as tortured as I.

When her voice quivered
with the words –
“I don’t dream about you
anymore.”
It stung, but I knew she was
lying. Maybe she didn’t dream of me as often, but I knew she did.
Especially when I felt the longing release from her when her breath
caught for a brief second.

I still had a chance.

I kissed her other shoulder and backed away,
clearing my throat. “I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.”