High Desert Haven (The Shepherd's Heart) (27 page)

Brenda wrapped her hands around the mug of hot coffee and stared across the table at her husband. They had not felt up to attending services in town this morning. Rolf stared into his cup, rubbing one finger around the rim listlessly. She had never seen him this way before. His guilt was killing him.

She sighed. He was impossible to talk to since May’s accident. She reached across the table and stilled his hand with her own. “’Twasn’t yer fault, Rolf.”

He didn’t say a word, only lifted pain-filled eyes and tilted his hand so that hers slid off and down onto the table.

She slammed her cup down so hard that the hot liquid shot up into the air and came down all over the table and her hand. Rolf jumped back. She ignored the pain. “Do ya think yer the only one feelin’ pain and guilt, Rolf? Don’t ya think I lay ’wake at night just a-wonderin’ what I should o’ done different thet night? If I hadn’t stayed so late here at Nicki’s…or if I hadn’t come at all. If I had just brought May with me, stead o’ leavin’ her home.” She lost her control then and couldn’t keep the tears at bay any longer. Covering her face, she allowed the sobs to shake her, giving in to the grief.

Rolf came to her slowly and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up until she stood in the comfort of his embrace. “’Twern’t yer fault, Bren.” They were the first words he had spoken directly to her since the tragedy. She buried her face in his shirt and cried until her knees became so weak she could no longer stand even with his support. She sank down onto the floor, the wracking sobs still shaking her. Rolf squatted next to her, running his hand gently over her hair, his eyes still dry. “Ah, Bren. What’re we gonna do without our angel?”

She gave no reply. The thought was simply too much to bear.

The door to the sheriff’s office opened. Jason stopped pacing in his cramped quarters and turned to see who was coming in. It was the morning of his third day in jail and his patience was wearing thin. If there was one thing that drove him crazy, it was being cooped up and unable to do anything to prove his innocence.

Jason blinked in surprise as the man walked in. It was his escaped captive, the man who had followed him. The man pulled his hat from his head and twisted it around in his hands. “Sheriff, I been talkin’ to my boss, and he said I should get down here and talk to you since what I got to say might save that man’s neck.” He jerked his chin in Jason’s direction.

“What it be, Slim?”

Slim
. Jason remembered Ron telling him that a man named Slim worked for William.
What a surprise
, he thought dryly.

“Well,” he turned his hat another quarter turn, “the night that fire started out at the Jeffries’ place,” Slim gestured to Jason, “he couldn’t have started it.”

Watts glanced at Jason and then back to Slim. “And ya know this how?”

“He was with me,” Slim replied.

Jason raised one eyebrow, knowing the real truth was not going to be forthcoming. He folded his arms and leaned back into the heels of his boots, wondering what kind of story he was about to hear.

“With you?” asked the sheriff.

Slim nodded and gave his hat another twist, dusting the crown. “I’d caught him passin’ through Bar H Slanted land and stopped him to have a chat and find out why he was there.” He shrugged. “He didn’t have a good reason, but he was too far away to have started that fire.”

Watts turned to Jason. “You were on Bar H land?”

“No.”

The sheriff frowned. “This man comes in with a story that might set ya free and ya deny thet what he says be true?”

“Sheriff, I didn’t start that fire. I’ve never balked on that point from the beginning, but I wasn’t on Bar H land. In fact it was quite the opposite. Slim here was following me across Hanging T land, and I detained him for questioning. I just wanted to know why he was sneaking up on me with his Winchester shucked, but he didn’t seem to want to talk to me then.” He raked Slim with an assessing gaze. “I find it curious that he is here trying to free me, unless of course his boss has something to gain by it.” Jason kept the full force of his glare on Slim, who glanced at the ground and fidgeted with his hat some more.

“I just come to tell you what I know, Sheriff. And that is he couldn’t have started the fire. He was too far away.”

“Well Slim, I’ve known ya fer a long time, and I never knowd ya to lie. And if William sent ya, then I guess he must believe ya, too. So...” The sheriff walked across the room, removing a ring of keys from a peg. “Jordan, I guess you be free to go, but I’ll be askin’ ya to hang around and not be goin’ far in case I have some more questions I need to be havin’ answers fer.”

“Don’t worry Sheriff, I won’t be going anywhere. Not until I have some answers of my own.” He cast one more hard glance at Slim before the man turned, placed his hat on his head, and exited the building.

It only took Jason a moment to gather his guns and knife from Watts.

Settling his black Stetson on his head, he nodded at the sheriff and stepped into the bright March sunlight. The winter wouldn’t be lasting much longer, even this year with the snow and cold loath to give up their quarter.

What would William have to gain by freeing him from jail? He couldn’t figure it, but he would break that bronc in its own time. At least, now that he was free, he’d be there to protect Nicki.

Nicki paced back and forth in the bunkhouse. Ron was out working on the barn as the snow had begun to fade in the last couple of days. Even though the nights were still very cold, the days were getting warmer and warmer and the snows were fighting a losing battle.

The first weekend in April was just a couple weeks away. Many families from the community had stopped Nicki after church to say they would come and help fix the structure. Nicki was so thankful for the blessing of good friends. Ron was preparing for the event—removing the scattered debris from inside the structure and making sure the walls would be braced properly so that on the day of the roofing things would go smoothly.

She rolled her head from side to side, trying to ward off the oncoming headache.

Jason
. The name hung in her mind like a torment. She almost wished she’d never laid eyes on the man. She didn’t want to think about what he was accusing William of, yet Ron concurred with him.

Could William really be as deceitful and conniving as they were making him out to be? She just couldn’t picture it of him. Yes, he was abrupt with people sometimes; didn’t always look at things from another’s position before he spoke or acted. But toward her he had never been anything but a gentleman. To believe that he was trying to steal her ranch,
lying
to her, she would have to believe that all he had ever done for her had been done in pretense. In deceit. She rolled her shoulders to ease the tension. No, there had to be another explanation.

She turned her thoughts to the Jeffries. Who would have set fire to their house? Perhaps it had been an accident that merely looked like it had been set on purpose?

She was halfway across the floor for the umpteenth time before she realized that she was worrying about something she had no control over.

Father forgive me. Help me not to take on things that I cannot figure out. I need Your help, God. I don’t know what to do. William has been so helpful to me since John’s death, and now Jason is accusing him of conniving to get my land. I don’t know about these accusations, but You do, and in Your word You have promised to be a husband to those who need one and a Father to the fatherless. My family needs You now more than ever, Father. I pray that You will work this out. Help the truth to come to light. If William is innocent, then help me to know
.

Her thoughts turned to the other man that seemed to occupy her thoughts constantly lately.
And, Lord, I pray that You would help Jason. I know he didn’t start that fire. Help us find who did.
She sighed.
Lord, am I even supposed to be here? I don’t know. I need some assurance. I need to know what to do with my life now. I never had a choice before. There was just John…and Sawyer. But now there is just me and Sawyer and this new little one.
She laid a hand on her stomach.
And I don’t know what to do. I could go back home if I wanted, but I want what You want. Send someone to show me what to do. Lord, I want to be used of You. But if I’m going to stay here, You’re going to have to work out this money situation. The money from the horses will get us out of debt and maybe leave a little extra, but with all the repairs that need to be done…well, I don’t see how it will last. I can’t keep asking Ron, Conner, and Jason to stay on for no pay. And now there are these three new hands that Ron hired.

Nicki rubbed her temples, realizing how thankful she was for someone to give all her burdens to. Her headache was lessening already. Just knowing that God loved her more than words could say and would be there to help her because she’d asked removed some of her tension.

Her prayer continued as she thought of the Jeffries and all they had lost.
Help them turn to You for their strength, Lord. Help them know that You are with them even during this terrible time. Use me, if You can, to be a comfort to them, but mostly I pray that you will give them the strength to make it through the coming days and still cling to You
.

Thoughts of the Jeffries’ little May saddened her, and she suddenly wanted to see Sawyer more than anything. She headed toward the door, intending to ask Ron if he would mind running her over to Tilly’s for a while.
Maybe I should ask Conner. There’s no way he would pass up a chance to go to Tilly’s
. A slight smile crossed her face at the thought.

She was just reaching for the door handle when it opened. Startled, she stepped back.

It was Jason, with his saddle slung over one shoulder. He started to step into the room but paused upon seeing her. Their eyes met and held for a long moment, then his mouth softened into a barely perceptible smile.

Her heart soared but she was careful to keep her face blank.

“Hi.” His one word was tentative.

He obviously wasn’t sure if she was going to welcome him back. Well, he
should
be wondering after what he had accused William of.
He’s out of jail?
“Hi. What are you doing here?”

He nodded, rubbing one hand across his jaw. “You’re right. I’ll just find a place to stay in town. But I’m not backing down. I’m telling you the truth, and until you figure it out for yourself, you need someone to watch your back for you. So don’t expect me to go far.” He started to turn away.

“Wait. That’s not what I meant. I meant, how did you get out?” He told her, his words clipped and to the point.

“Slim was the man who was following you?”

He frowned even as he nodded, knowing he hadn’t told her about Slim. She smiled slightly. “I’ve been talking to Ron.”

“And did he convince you that I was telling the truth?” He shifted the saddle to get a better grip.

“Oh, goodness, come in. I didn’t mean to keep you standing at the door.” He hesitated briefly but followed her back into the room, dropping the saddle into the corner.

“I never thought you were lying,” she said.