High and Dry (27 page)

And when he came to me about making extra cash by leaving the history window unlocked, I didn't look too closely then, either. I should've opened my eyes—not so I could avoid the pitfalls of being Ryder's friend, but so I could've helped him. Instead, I gathered all my suspicions together and put them on Ellie. I chose the wrong person to watch, and then I didn't see either of them for who they really were.

“Where did Amelia Pond travel?” Ellie asked.

“Well, they have a time machine called a TARDIS, so pretty much anywhere in space and time.”

“Did she ever go to New Mexico?”

“You know, I think she went to the desert once, but never New Mexico.” We leaned against my car for a moment, watching the other cars in the parking lot come and go.

“Blue-razz?” Ellie asked, holding out a lollipop. I declined.

“Do you remember what you said about my arm being like a safety bar on a roller coaster?” I asked.

She nodded.

“I think it was holding you back, it was keeping you from escaping. And I'm sorry about that,” I said.

She swallowed. “I didn't want to escape. It was my fault, too. For
what happened. I gave you a lot of mixed signals because I didn't know what I wanted. But it wasn't because I didn't care about you. You were the only guy I wanted to be with.”

“If it helps, knowing what I wanted didn't help me. It didn't make things any easier. It just made me scared all the time of losing what I had, of being forced to live a reality-based life.” I looked away for a moment, then met her eyes again. She gazed back without reservation.

“Will you and Amelia drive me to New Mexico? Show me your old stomping grounds and help me check out a college there? We can stop anyplace you're interested, too, on the way, or back.”

I looked over at her in surprise. The sun was behind her, framing her face in a kind of harsh halo. In California the last thing you need is more sunshine. Things die from too much sun just as surely as they die without it. A cloud was what I wanted. A cloud was what I needed. A downpour. New Mexico had those sometimes in the spring when the snow melted, and I was overdue.

We drove to my house so I could ask my parents.

I didn't let myself dwell on the what-ifs. I didn't ask myself what it meant, whether Ellie and I could be friends or whether we'd even see each other again after this road trip. Because it didn't matter. I didn't think we'd get back together, but for the next few days, I could finally introduce her to the real me.

I didn't wonder how she'd react to things I did or said, I didn't second-guess my every breath, I just breathed.

When we exited onto the 14 Freeway, headed out of Palm Valley,
I took stock of my senses: the sound of the other cars around us, the heavy breeze on my arm as I dangled it out the window.

The light was so bright it burned my eyes, but I didn't look away. That was the price of keeping them open.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

THANKS TO MY AGENT, SARA MEGIBOW, FOR SUPPORTING
me both professionally and personally. Your enthusiasm, kindness, and publishing knowledge are cherished.

Big thanks to the talented Maggie Lehrman, who helped me get this story just right. I can't fathom a better editor for
High and Dry
. You rock!

Thank you to everyone at the Nelson Lit Agency for their hard work: Kristin Nelson, Anita Mumm, Angie Hodapp, Becky Taylor, and Lori Bennett.

Amulet Books is a tremendous place to be published. I'm proud and grateful to be part of the team. Thanks to Susan Van Metre, Laura Mihalick, Erica La Sala, Jason Wells, Maria T. Middleton, and Jim Armstrong. ALA Midwinter in January 2013 was a highlight for me. Next up: Vegas!

Thanks to the Hoovers, Skiltons, and Murphys for your love and encouragement.

Big thanks to my critique partners and fellow writers Sarvenaz Tash, Amy Spalding, Kristen Kittscher, and Miranda Kenneally. Thanks to the generous Hope Larson for hosting Writing Nights, where all of my brainstorming and much of my writing got done during a chaotic year.

Thanks to Stephanie Sagheb for Movie Nights! Also, Robyn
Sommerfield, Lisa Gail Green, Julie Musil, Leslie Rose, Cat Winters, Elisabeth Dahl, Den Shewman, Juleen Woods, Stan Zalesny, and Shona and Miya have been wonderfully supportive and I'm very happy to know you all.

At Breakdown Services, Gary, Kathleen, Richard, Kathy, Lynne, and Irene have supported my efforts all the way and kept me laughing during very busy days. Thank you!

Thanks to the fabulous YA and children's mystery writers at Sleuths, Spies and Alibis, as well as the Lucky 13s debut author group.

The works of Rob Thomas, Rian Johnson, Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Mercedes Lambert, and Dorothy B. Hughes helped inspire this book.

Lastly, thank you to Joe for sharing your thoughts on my boy narrator and other aspects of writing. You're the best husband, partner, and father to our son I could wish for.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

SARAH SKILTON
is the author of
Bruised
, which received a starred review from
Publishers Weekly
and which
The Horn Book
called “nuanced and honest.” She lives with her magician husband and their son in Los Angeles, California.

This book was designed by Jessie Gang and art directed by Maria T. Middleton.

Its production was overseen by Elizabeth Peskin.