Hienama (2 page)

‘I would like to know how you
came to be incepted.’

‘We were…’ I rubbed my face. ‘I
was part of a gang whose sole aim in life was to terrorise
Wraeththu. We were an irritant, tolerated for only so long. When
the hara struck back, they did so swiftly and expediently. We
didn’t stand a chance. Those who weren’t killed were incepted. I
was one of the survivors.’

‘How long did you live that
life, before you became har?’

‘About four years. Too
long.’

‘You were no street kid, I can
see that.’

‘I left my home. It was more
than rebellion. The world was ending.’

Ysobi nodded again. I wanted to
ask him how
he
had come to be incepted too. He was talking
to me as if he’d never been human.

‘The main thing I’ve learned
since inception,’ I said, ‘is that I have a mind. I have opinions.
I never did before. But I used to take a lot of drugs…’ I raised my
hands. ‘You don’t need me to tell you.’

‘You have adjusted well, in my
opinion,’ Ysobi said. ‘More tea?’

I held out my cup. ‘I’m not
unhappy. I’m not fucked up. That’s not why I’m here.’

‘Then why are you here?’

‘To learn. I want to learn.
I’ve been reading a lot.’

Ysobi laughed, but not
unkindly. ‘You are quite the butterfly, aren’t you, or should I say
swan?’

I wondered if he was being
sarcastic. ‘I could have been dead. I’m not. I’ve been given
another chance. If that’s being a butterfly or a swan, then
yes.’

Ysobi stared at me
unblinkingly. ‘They incepted you because they could tell you could
take it. Not many your age could. It drives men mad. It either
makes them more violent, in denial, or they become drooling idiots.
The adjustments they have to make are vast.’

‘It’s not a fate worse than
death.’

‘Some think it is.’

‘Well, I’m not one of
them.’

Ysobi gave me a shrewd look
then, which I resented, because I thought he believed I was
deluding myself. I thought he believed I was in denial. What could
I say? I’d been prejudged.

He let the silence hang there
between us for a while, sipping his tea, his gaze blank. I was
thinking I should get out of there, wondering how to do it without
looking a worse idiot. Eventually, I said, ‘Tiahaar, if you’d
prefer me to leave, I will.’

‘What?’ He looked surprised at
the sound of my voice, as if he’d forgotten I was there.

‘I said…’

‘I heard what you said. Excuse
me, I was thinking.’

I sat there for some moments,
wondering how much pleasure he got from playing the guru. It had
been a mistake to come here.

‘We can start now,’ he said,
glancing up at me. ‘If that’s OK with you?’

I blinked at him. ‘Well…’

‘What is your name?’

‘Jass… Jassenah.’

‘Jassenah har Sulh.’

I nodded.

‘I’d like to run through some
basic tests, just to see where you’re at. Nothing too
strenuous.’

‘And after that, you’ll decide
whether to take me on?’

He smiled. ‘I’ve already
decided that.’

Minnow and Vole found me a
cottage near the centre of town. It was close to the narrow
harbour, which was situated in a short estuary with high cliffs to
either side. A fast-moving river rushed only a few yards from my
front door, but behind the cottage was a field with sheep in it.
More fields, dotted with copses of ancient trees, led to dark
forests. The cottage was pretty run down, but the plumbing worked
and it was hooked to the main town generator. It had two rooms
downstairs and a kitchen with a wood-burning stove in it. Upstairs
were two bedrooms and a rather unsavoury bathroom. In the larger of
the rooms, there was a bed, which was a bit mouldy, but Minnow said
he knew somehar who had a spare mattress. ‘Well, he makes them,
actually, but he’ll usually give one for free to a newcomer. Don’t
suppose you’ve got much to barter with.’

‘Not much,’ I agreed.

‘We’ll have to find you some
work too,’ Minnow said, ‘supposing you want to eat, and so on.’

‘What’s on offer?’

‘Well, Jesith’s main produce is
wine, of just about every variety. Other towns say we can make it
from dead rats, but that’s not strictly true.’ He grinned. ‘We save
the odd rat for the best vintage! No, I’m joking. Anyway, I work at
the vineyard. I’ll take you tomorrow. Sinnar’s a decent har. He
runs it. He’s also our phylarch.’

‘OK, sounds fine to me.’

‘You can eat with us tonight,
if you want.’

‘Thanks.’

That first evening, Vole cooked
for Minnow and me. They lived in another cottage quite near to
mine, and I was impressed at what they’d done with it. I didn’t
know how long I’d remain in Jesith, but basking in the delights of
physical comfort, I resolved to do my cottage up a little and make
it cosier.

After dinner, the twins took me
out to show me what happened in Jesith after dark. There were
several bars, which most hara visited at least once each evening.
Food was available, and a variety of liquors from Sinnar’s yard,
including ale. I got to meet some of the local celebrities. It was
interesting.

It was then I first met Zehn,
in a bar called The Leaping Cat. It was despite at first sight. I’d
seen his type a hundred times before: the golden har who everyhar
desires, and who knows it. He was beautiful, of course, with hair
the colour of ripe wheat. It hung over his face and he kept pushing
it back, aware of how lovely it was. He had some hapless soul with
him, a red-haired beauty, who was no doubt attached for the
duration of the evening and not far beyond. Zehn spent a few
minutes trying to flirt with me, much to the distress of his
companion, but I wouldn’t bite.

‘You’re new,’ he drawled,
expecting me to be entranced.

I uttered a kind of grunt in
response. I’d been bitten once or twice, in places very tender, by
hara of his kind. I’d learned to see beyond the surface; usually,
beneath was rot. His strategy would be to seduce every new face in
town, then discard them. Pathetic, really.

‘He’s training with Ysobi,’
Minnow supplied.

Zehn laughed. ‘Good luck.’

I didn’t think I needed luck.
The preliminary exercises had gone well with Ysobi that afternoon.
I thought he’d been pleased with me. Clearly, a har of Zehn’s type
would never consider taking any kind of training. It was beneath me
to respond.

‘You’re not one of those
serious souls, are you?’ Zehn asked me, grinning.

‘You’re not one of those
superficial ones, are you?’ I replied, smiling sweetly.

‘Ow, claws!’ he said.

‘Sheathed at the moment, I
assure you.’ I decided it was time to move on.

Minnow and Vole were happy to
show me somewhere different. As we went out into the street, Minnow
said, ‘I think Zehn likes you.’

‘I think he likes everyhar,’ I
said. ‘Not my type at all.’

Minnow laughed. ‘What is your
type? Do you want to find him tonight?’

‘No. I want to get my bearings
here before anything else.’

‘Zehn made you angry,’ Vole
said. ‘You didn’t need to get mad at him.’ He rarely spoke, so the
comment stung.

‘I know his kind,’ I said.
‘Really, I’m not angry. I just don’t like hara thinking I’m
stupid.’

‘Let’s go to Willow Pool
Garden,’ Minnow said, so we went.

Like most Sulh communities at
that time, Jesith ran mostly on bartering systems, although the
phylarch, Sinnar, paid us in coins that could be redeemed at the
few shops and bars. It was a kind of credit system for his hara.
These tokens could also be bought from Sinnar with other goods,
whether they were logs from the forest, trout from the river or
wild blackberries from the heath for his wine vats. He’d set up
commerce with other local phylarchs, so his tokens could be used
widely in the area. Everyhar called them ‘sins,’ which amused him.
Sinnar had been incepted further north in one of the cities, and
had come south, after being trained in Kyme, to take over the
phyle. Like most Kyme hara, he was fond of knowledge but, unlike
your usual Kymian, far from ascetic. I guess he couldn’t have run a
vineyard otherwise. He was the kind of har that is almost too easy
on the eye; tawny hair, generous even features and sensitive hands.
His manner was both composed and competent. A born leader, I
guess.

Sinnar agreed to interview me
at Minnow’s request, but I could tell it was merely a formality.
The phylarch was keen to expand his business, so new workers were
always welcome. As Minnow led me through the busy workshops and
yard to Sinnar’s office, I wondered how my training would fit in
around a physical job.

Minnow left me sitting in the
office and after a few minutes, Sinnar came in, poring through a
huge ledger. He appeared distracted, more interested in the entries
in his ledger than in me. He sat down and closed his book, folding
his hands together on the desk top.

‘You’re here to train with
Ysobi,’ Sinnar said.

‘Yes, but I need to work. I
don’t know much about making wine, but I’m willing to learn.’

Sinnar nodded, sucked his upper
lip. ‘Fine. You have somewhere to stay?’

‘Yes, Minnow and Vole found me
a cottage.’

‘Excellent. Well, you’ll
obviously need to spend some time each day on your studies, so how
about you come to the yard each morning at eight o’clock and work
for four hours? Weekends off, unless we have a lot on.’

‘That sounds very
generous.’

Sinnar smiled. ‘I don’t believe
in working hara too hard, and I expect Ysobi will give you a lot to
do.’ He paused. ‘You know of his reputation, of course?’

I displayed my palms. ‘It’s why I’m
here. He was recommended.’

Sinnar nodded. He had an
introspective look to him, which made me wonder what he was
thinking. Did he think I wasn’t of high enough calibre for Ysobi to
teach me?

‘Shall I start work now?’ I
asked.

Sinnar collected himself. ‘Yes,
by all means do. Go and find Minnow. He’ll show you around.’

And that was that: I had a
job.

For three weeks, Ysobi went
over basic training in various skills with me, such as far-seeing,
psychic communication and healing. He taught me to be more
sensitive to the energy of the universe, which the Sulh had named
agmara, and how to manipulate it to create effects in reality. He
was a patient and humorous teacher, but somehow distant. I never
saw him outside of his Nayati, other than in the garden that
surrounded the building on three sides. Sometimes we took lessons
out there. If he had other students, I didn’t meet them. I trained
with him for three hours a day, every afternoon. Before and after
that, I worked for Sinnar. I’d been employed to work only mornings,
but because things were so busy, I usually ended up going back to
the vineyard after my training to help out with deliveries and so
on. This meant I earned extra, so I wasn’t unhappy about it.

Jesith was a stable and close
community, mainly because Sinnar was such a stable and open kind of
har. They had trouble occasionally with rogues trying to loot crops
and supplies, so there was a town guard that patrolled the borders
and kept any rabble at bay. Zehn, I learned, was one of these
guards. I imagine the tenuous glamour of that role had appealed to
him.

I worked on my cottage and also
acquired a pony, which lived with the sheep in the field behind my
home. I began to build up a social life, revolving around the
friends of Minnow and Vole, but something prevented me from
initiating intimacy with anyhar I met. It wasn’t that there weren’t
hara I liked, there were, but perhaps the intensive training
stunted my sensuality. I don’t know. Maybe it was something else, a
precognition.

The reason I say this is that a
few weeks into the training, Ysobi announced that before I
progressed any further, he must teach me the arunic arts, how to
use aruna as magic. I’d always known this could be done, but
imagined it was a private thing between hara working together
magically. I said this. Ysobi told me it could be that way, but
unless I knew what I was doing I would be an impediment to any har
who might want to work with me, and who knows, there might come a
day when proper training would save somehar’s life.

We were in his main room, which
I noticed he’d tidied up a little. My mouth went dry. I felt
apprehensive. The day was overcast, but humid. Later, there would
be thunder. ‘What do you want me to do?’ I asked.

‘Sit down,’ he said, indicating
one of the cushions.

I did so and he sat
cross-legged before me. He wound his hair into a rope and tied it
in a loose knot at the nape of his neck.

‘Take my hands.’

I reached out to him, and his
palms were dry and very hot in the centres.

‘Close your eyes, Jassenah.
Good. I want you to extend your senses, become aware of my energy
field. Can you do that?’

‘Yes…’ It was like a tingle. I
could feel energy streaming up my arms from his hands.

‘Take it down into your body.
Concentrate it in the lower belly.’

It went down as heat, like
taking in a hot drink.

‘We must breathe together, in
through the nose and out through the mouth, totally synchronised.
Now focus.’

Even though our faces were some
distance apart, it was almost like sharing breath. I took him into
me, down into my lungs. I could feel my body stirring, like an
animal waking up and sniffing around. He kept the breathing going
for some time, until I felt light-headed. Then he withdrew his
hands from mine, and it made me dizzy. I felt as if I was hanging
alone in a void, spinning. It was euphoric and disorientating.

Gently, he pushed me back onto
the floor cushions. ‘Relax, Jassenah. Do nothing but concentrate on
your breathing. Keep it steady.’

I felt his hands at my belt. He
undressed me as a healer might; efficiently and quickly. I felt
cold then, despite the humid air. He raised my knees and parted my
legs, leaving me feeling vulnerable and exposed. I didn’t want him
looking at me, but was powerless to move. He put a towel beneath
me.