Hidden Mercies (15 page)

“How long do you get to stay?” Levi asked.

“You mean here?”

“No. I mean away from the military. Your sick leave or whatever soldiers call it.”

“From the moment I left the hospital, I had thirty days of sick leave coming to me.”

“How much of that is gone?”

“A little over a week.”

“What happens when those thirty days are up?”

“I’ll have to make a decision.” He took another swig of Coke. “Depending on how I feel three weeks from now, I can petition Marine headquarters and the hospital commander for a formal extension of my convalescent leave . . . or I can retire.”

“Retire?” Levi said. “Aren’t you a little young to retire? What are you? Midforties?”

“Forty-four, and no, I’m not too young. I have twenty-five years in, which makes it an option. I just never thought I’d have to face the decision this soon.”

“What happens if you ask for an extension?”

“I’d probably get it. I’m an officer and I have years of honorable service behind me. They would give me time to fully recuperate before I come back. The problem is, unless I get an awful lot better, there’s no guarantee I’d ever be allowed to fly again. More than likely, I’ll just end up with a desk job.”

“You would hate that.”

“Yes, I would definitely hate that.”

“What would you do if you retire?”

“I’m not sure. A couple buddies have offered me jobs. They own small private helicopter companies—the kind that fly executives from one place to another or get rented to take kids up for a joy ride on prom night.”

“They would let you fly when the military wouldn’t?”

“Piloting a Cobra while under fire takes a whole different skill level than taking people up from time to time in good weather in a commercial helicopter.”

There was a long silence as Levi thought this over.

“You would hate that, too.”

“I would.”

“You could stay here, maybe,” Levi said. “And help me.”

There was a wistful note in his voice that grabbed Tom’s heart and held it. He already loved this young man. There was an innocence to him, a goodness that one didn’t find every day. He wondered if the trust Levi felt for him would dissipate when he learned that he was his father’s brother, only pretending to be a stranger.

“That’s the best offer I’ve heard yet,” Tom said. “But I’ve stayed here with you and your family way longer than I ever intended.”

“What if you had your own apartment? I know of one. Grace suggested it the other day as a possibility.”

“Where is it?”

“Over the workshop at my mother’s. I lived there before Grace and I were married. It isn’t big, but it’s furnished.
Maam
uses it for overnight guests sometimes. It might be a good place to stay while you make up your mind about what you’re going to do and where you’re going to go.
Maam
’s house doesn’t have electric, but the apartment does, and I put a bathroom and shower in a couple years ago.” Tom hoped that Levi’s offer was given out of true friendship, and not just because the hydraulics on his tractor needed a complete overhaul.

The idea of living that close to Claire was tempting. Just being able to look out his window and see her going about her chores would be enjoyable. He might even be able to help her out a little from time to time if she would let him.

“Wouldn’t your mother object to having someone like me living that close to her?”

“She’s so busy taking care of the children and birthing babies, I doubt she’d even notice,” Levi said. “Besides, a lot
of the Amish rent out cabins to tourists. I don’t see how this would be any different.”

“I’d insist on paying rent.”

“Well, that would definitely catch her interest.” Levi said. “Let me talk it over with Grace and see what she thinks.”

“You and Grace are on speaking terms again?”

“We are today. Last time I checked.” Doubt crept into his voice. “As far as I know.”

•   •   •

“How long would he stay?” Claire asked later that night when Levi came proposing that Tom move into his old apartment. The very idea was a worry to her.

“I don’t know,” Levi said. “Not so long. Just until he gets his strength back. He says there’s a commercial piloting job in Toledo he’s considering taking if he decides not to go back to the military. I doubt he’ll be staying here more than a few weeks, but Grace floated a number to him that I thought was unreasonable, and he took it with no hesitation.”

“How much?” Claire asked.

“Four hundred dollars.”

“A month?”

“A week.”

“A week!” Claire blinked. “That is a lot!”

“Grace says that it’s a lot less than renting a hotel room during tourist season, which is what he originally intended to do.”

“I suppose.” Claire was doubtful.

“You don’t have to say yes.”

“I have children,” Claire said. “Sometimes I’m gone.”

“He’s a good man,” Levi said. “I trust him. Grace said that back on the base, he had a reputation for integrity as well as
skill. She says that he would fight to protect anyone who even thought about harming you or one of your children.”

“I—I suppose I could consider it,” Claire said. “The money would be welcome.”

“I’ll go check out the apartment and make sure everything is turned on and working. It’s been awhile since I was up there.”

As Levi left, Claire did the math. Four hundred dollars a week! She could hardly believe the man had agreed to such an amount! If he stayed a couple months, she might be able to afford a new buggy horse! What a help that would be!

•   •   •

It seemed to Claire that she had recently been a bigger bother to her bishop than she ever intended. First the pager, and now the apartment.

It was a little embarrassing even to approach him about it, but at least it was a decision the bishop could make without consulting the other leaders, because it did not involve going against the
Ordnung
in any way.

The bishop was working in his barn when she drove Flora in. He heard her and came out. That was a blessing. She didn’t want to go knocking at the door asking for him, which would make his wife feel like she needed to invite her in for some sort of refreshment. Even though the bishop’s wife was a kind woman, Claire had two home visits to make today, and she wanted to get this conversation over with, not have it turn into a social call.

“Good morning,” the bishop said. He had a broken harness in his hand, and it appeared that he’d been engaged in mending it.

“Good morning, Bishop,” she said. “I am sorry to interrupt your work.”

“I am not sure I want to do this work,” the bishop said. “I’m coming to the conclusion that there are times when one needs to stop mending and simply purchase new.”

“Sometimes that is necessary,” she agreed.

“So what brings you here?” he asked. “Are you or the children in need?”

“I am in need, Bishop,” she said. “Of your counsel.”

“Oh?”

“My son and daughter-in-law have taken in a soldier, a man Grace says she heard many good things about when she was working as a nurse in Afghanistan. He recently got out of the army hospital for some serious wounds he received. He came to Mt. Hope to recuperate.”

“Why did he come here instead of someplace else?” the bishop asked. “This seems a strange place for a wounded soldier to choose.”

“He says he used to live near here.”

“And what is the name of this man?” The bishop was already frowning.

“Tom Miller.”

“You say he is
Englisch
and that Grace and Levi have taken him in?”

“Yes. He was quite ill and Grace nursed him back to health rather than make him spend any more time in a hospital. She knew him in Afghanistan. She said she owes him her life.”

“And what is it you need to ask me about this Tom Miller?”

“He is looking for a small place to rent, temporarily. Levi thought his old apartment might be a good place.”

“Levi approves of this plan?”

“Levi says he trusts this man.” She hesitated and then told the bishop what was practically burning a hole in her heart. “He has offered to pay four hundred dollars a week.”

“Four hundred dollars a week?” The bishop whistled. “For that much, I would be tempted to rent him my bedroom!”

“It is a great deal of money,” Claire agreed.

“And much needed, unless I miss my guess?”

“It could be put to good use.”

“Do you have any feelings for this man?” the bishop asked.

Claire gave his question careful thought. “I’ve only barely met him. Our conversations have been short.”

“Does he look good to your eyes?”

Claire considered. “No. He has been much hurt, and is slightly disfigured.”

“And he is an honorable man, even though he is
Englisch
?”

“Grace says he has much integrity.”

“And it is only temporary,” the bishop mused. “I see no reason you cannot make this extra money for you and the children, but I will caution you strongly against forming a relationship with this
Englisch
man.”

“I have no desire for any man, Bishop,” Claire said. “My children are my only earthly concern now—them and the mothers I serve.”

“You will not go into his apartment for any reason unless he is gone. If he is there, one of your children must accompany you.”

“Yes, Bishop, that won’t be a problem.”

“You say that now, but you are still young. Some
Englisch
men see a virtuous Amish woman as a challenge.”

“I will be very careful, Bishop,” Claire said. “Thank you for your permission and your wise counsel.”

“One more thing,” the bishop said. “Remember that some people will pay more attention to what you do than if you were . . . someone else.”

“You mean because of Levi?”

“Yes.” He looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry. Our people should have shorter memories than that, but sadly, they do not.”

Her face burned, and she wished she was not having this conversation with him. “Thank you. I will be mindful of that.”

As she left, she couldn’t help but think about all the years of faithful service to her family and the Lord—and her people still had things to say about her.

On the whole, the Amish were terrible gossips. They knew better, and they didn’t mean anything cruel by it, it was just that they were so extremely interested in one another’s business.

She was quite aware that she had become the cautionary tale with which local Amish mothers warned their daughters not to assume that they were “as good as married” until their union had been blessed by both the church and God.

As she drove, she contemplated the bishop’s words of warning. Yes, she was intrigued by Tom Miller, and puzzled over the haunted look she saw in his eyes from time to time. She sometimes wondered at the feeling of familiarity she had when she was around him. But what the bishop did not understand was that she was the last one in the world to be tempted by yet another man. The grief of loving and burying Matthew, and then enduring a marriage to Abraham, had been enough challenge for one lifetime. Deep in her heart, though, she knew that the bishop was right. It would not be wise for her to spend any time alone with Tom Miller. It wasn’t about giving the gossips fodder—it was about protecting her heart.

She had dreamed one night this week that in the middle of the overgrown garden that was her life, filled with the large, familiar blossoms of concerns about her children and her work, she had discovered a tiny bright flower growing. It was a delicate flower that she had never seen before, and
she kept wondering how this exotic plant had gotten here. She had certainly not planted it. She knew she should pluck it out—but leaving it there to come upon from time to time gave her pleasure.

The dream had been so vivid, she had lain and pondered it in the gray dawn before anyone else stirred. It had not taken her long to recognize the truth her mind was trying to tell her. Tom was so alien from anything she had ever known, so exotic compared to her humdrum existence, she had allowed a small fascination with him to develop.

She was grateful for the dream and for its warning. The last thing she needed was to have feelings for an
Englisch
man. It had been hard enough watching her son go through that agony and the disastrous marriage that had ensued. Unlike Levi, she would consider leaving the Amish church for no one. She needed to be very careful. The last thing she needed was a broken heart.

T
he apartment above the workshop was clean, sparse, and exactly what he needed.

He’d been a little worried about climbing the steps, but by using the handrail, he could make it. Levi carried his duffel bag up. Grace had gone to the grocery store and bought a few things so that he could have breakfast in the morning. Elizabeth had baked some cookies to take with him.

It was nice to have a family.

He soon saw that he wouldn’t lack reading material while he lived here. The walls of Levi’s old apartment were absolutely lined with books!

“Sorry about all the books.” Levi sat Tom’s duffel on the bed. “I got a little carried away after I left the Swartzentrubers.”

“Have you read all of these?” Tom asked.

“Most,” Levi said. “After I left, it seemed like there weren’t enough books in the world. I was starved for knowledge.”

“It’s an impressive collection.”

“Actually, I’m ashamed,” Levi said. “A man should have better things to do with his time than read. I am afraid reading is a great weakness of mine.”

“I wouldn’t count that as a weakness,” Tom said. “Have you ever considered getting a more formal education?”

“I took a few classes at a nearby community college after I got my GED.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Very much.”

“What kind of classes did you take?”

“The basics. I had the foolish notion of someday becoming a teacher.”

“Then why did you stop?”

“I could no longer justify taking college classes once we were expecting a child. I will soon have a family to support.”

Levi lovingly ran his hand over the spines of the books nearest him. “My stepfather would be turning in his grave if he knew that there were this many books on his property.”