Hidden Heart (7 page)

Or the mean communists that
looked everywhere for fault and turned in those individuals who
didn’t appreciate, love and respect enough the government and the
president. The despair on every single face, the helpless feeling
they all grew up so accustomed to as part of the Romanian nation.
Times were much better now, but those memories would always be part
of who they were and where they came from.

Tessa shrugged at the
memories of how they grew up. She pushed aside the gloomy feelings
lurking in her heart and gathered her thoughts.

“
Part of me had always felt
guilty because I knew about Mama’s betrayal, but could never say
anything to anybody. And each time I looked into Dad’s eyes, this
guilty feeling tore me apart,” Tessa said again, her voice sounding
strange, as she’d come back from somewhere far away. She paused for
a moment. “I felt I betrayed him, but yet how could I say anything
to him? To this day I feel they lived a life of lies, a marriage
that looked good on the outside, but so false on the inside. Dad
passed away a long time ago and I don’t know if he ever knew. I
mean, how can a woman come home to her family and go to bed with
her husband, yet hours before that she was with another man? Call
me old fashioned, but cheating is not a word in my dictionary and
will never be,” Tessa said and crossed her arms over her
chest.

None of them spoke again
for a long time. They knew their mother’s life story. Ana had been
forced in to marriage at a young age. Raised just by her mother,
Ana and her siblings were so poor, they went to bed many nights
with nothing to eat. Her father cheated constantly and finally left
his family when Ana was just a couple of years old. Her stories
were about hunger and poverty, being judged by kids for her old
clothes, laughed at for her worn out shoes, which she had to share
with her other sister; stories of cold Christmases coming and going
with no presents, growing up with a mother so violent, bitter and
lost, she never got any love or kind words.

When Ana was only sixteen
years old, Paul—much older than her—met her in a tram station and
helped her get rid of a drunken man that harassed her. Paul walked
her home to ensure she was safe. He was fascinated with her beauty.
At first she got scared and didn’t want to talk to him at all, but
then as they walked side by side to her neighborhood, they began
talking. He came every day for a couple of months to see her, and
although she wasn’t attracted to him at all, she allowed him to
pick her up from high school.

When Ana’s mother found
out, she beat her up for being a disgrace for the family, yet Paul
never touched Ana nor spent any time alone with her in the house.
When Paul saw her the next day all bruised and hurt, he asked Ana
to marry him; he was so madly in love with her. She told him she
didn’t love him, but even knowing that, he still wanted to marry
her. And so they did, with Ana giving birth to a baby boy a year
later. The boy died a couple of months later and Ana suffered the
rest of her life for that loss. She could’ve divorced Paul, but
chose not to and soon after that they had Octavia, Chiara and
Tessa.

“
Sorry you had to deal with
this by yourself, sis,” Chiara said. She came over and hugged Tessa
and then Octavia came and the three of them hugged and cried
together.

“
I just wish I knew more.
It almost feels like she had a double life, one with dad and us and
one with her lover. Was it all a lie?”

“
This envelope, whatever it
contains, I can’t read it. It’s too much to take on for such a
short period of time.” Octavia stuffed the envelope in her purse.
Chiara and Tessa did the same.

Again, silence filled up
the room.

The three of them were so
much alike, but yet different; Octavia, the older sister, was
petite, with graceful curves. Her large, hazel eyes framed by dark
short hair compelled men to stare at her. She came across as solid
rock, cerebral and anal. It was a rare sight to glimpse an
expression of love, compassion or tenderness from her—she feared
the torments of the heart.

She finished high school
and college in Bucharest with straight tens, changed her mind and
her career path and went to a different college. While working as a
tour guide at the Black Sea, she met rich businessman, Andrew
Blackheath, ten years older than her. After falling madly in love
with him, they married two months later. They lived in a rented
upscale apartment in Downtown Bucharest, while Octavia worked and
Andrew traveled between Romania and England.

She floated atop the world
when she flew to London to surprise her husband only to find him
surrounded by drugs and prostitutes. His list of crimes didn’t end
there. Engaged to be married to a woman from the noble society of
London, not only did Andrew live a double life with Octavia, but he
also had stolen his identical twin brother’s identity, the real
Andrew Blackheath. When she found out, she threatened to reveal
James, her phony husband, to his family and fiancé. James had hired
someone to kill her, but Andrew rescued her at the last
minute.

He tended to her broken
heart for six long months. He hoped in time, she’d learn to love
him the way he loved her. Was this fate or her parents’ history
repeated once again? For a while, Octavia bought anything and
everything; jewelry she never wore and clothes she never took out
of the shopping bags in a desperate attempt to fill the emptiness
of her heart. When tragedy threatened to destroy Andrew’s life, she
realized that
he
was the man she’d loved all along, that he was the right man
for her.

Chiara was the middle
sister, tall and fit, with blue eyes and dark curly hair. Smart,
beautiful and kind, Chiara emanated a magnetism that people
couldn’t resist. She never really liked school, but dreamed of
becoming a famous gymnast, like her idol Nadia Comaneci, even
fantasizing of scoring perfect tens in the Olympics. She left her
parents’ house in the days of Communism at the early age of twelve
as part of an acrobatic troupe that performed in an itinerant
circus across Germany.

She became the star of the
circus as the youngest, most fearless acrobat. Her photos made the
front page in every single newspaper and magazine wherever the
circus performed. Her journey had been nothing but fascinating; a
dazzling life in the public eye, but behind closed doors she lived
a complete nightmare, suffering physical, verbal and emotional
abuse. When the troupe’s foreman was found dead, Chiara had been
accused of murder, as the last person to be seen coming out of his
trailer.

She was sent to prison, but
before the final sentence months later, a mysterious call to the
police changed the course of the trial. Chiara was released, but
the circus refused to take her back. She joined another circus
where she learned how to train tigers and bears until an attack by
one of the bears left her barely alive. Her career over, she
decided to remain in Germany. She went back to finish high school
on-line then continued her education, eventually becoming a
gymnastics coach.

She had never told anyone
about the years of abuse during her life in the circus; now
thirty-two years old, she had still never been able to forget that
chapter of her life; she often felt she had more demons to fight
than hours in a day.

After dinner they agreed to
meet the next morning to go through their mama’s stuff in case they
wanted to keep something that belonged to her. Chiara and Octavia
returned to their mama’s house, Tessa chose to go to her
apartment.

“
You okay?” Daniel asked,
holding her in his arms.

She used to feel so good
and safe there. Used to, but not tonight. It felt
strange.

“
Why didn’t you come?”
Tessa pushed him away and eased out of her jacket with slow
motions.

“
Well, I thought you were
better off without me. Besides, I had lots to do at work and stayed
late.”

“
Daniel, my mama’s funeral
was today. I thought we agreed this morning you’d come.”

They sat on the sofa. She
avoided looking at him, her heart full with disappointment. The
burden of losing her mama weighed heavy on her soul; she didn’t
know how to deal with it. She just wished he’d understand more and
be more supportive. She fought the urge to cry again; her eyes
burned horribly.

“
Let’s not argue over this.
You are upset and tired. I prepared you a bubble bath,” Daniel said
and handed her a glass of wine.

Like a robot, Tessa walked
to the bathroom, lit a couple of candles scattered all over the
floor and turned on the radio. Soft music flooded the room. Then,
she turned off the lights and took her clothes off. She sunk in the
hot water, leaned against the tub’s edge and closed her
eyes.

Half an hour later, the
water had turned cold. She reached for a towel.

Daniel handed it to her.
When did he enter the bathroom? He covered her and gently touched
her face. He kissed her eyes, then her mouth. Hungrily, she turned
to him for anything he had to offer; she wanted him to hold her.
Tessa gripped his shoulder and returned his kisses. She desperately
needed to forget the pain; she’d welcome anything that would
distract her from it. That night they made love like they once did
when their love felt alive and real. She fell asleep in his arms
and dreamt of her mama laughing and watering her beloved plants in
the family room. She woke up feeling slightly better; her mama
seemed happy and still so close.

The next day Tessa drove to
her parents’ house, and together with her sisters searched through
boxes filled with photos, old school tests and diplomas. They
laughed at some photos, cried at others. They remembered old times
when they had gotten in trouble for silly things they did. It felt
good to be with her sisters and share memories.

They decided to sell the
house once all their parents’ belongings were sorted out and the
place emptied out, which of course fell on Tessa’s shoulders since
her sisters didn’t plan on returning back to Romania for a while.
She promised she’d try to do little by little, whenever she could
and hoped no later than the summer she’d hire a realtor to help
with the sale.

Later that afternoon
Octavia returned to England and Chiara back to Germany. Tessa took
both of them to the airport and, although she’d seen her sisters
leave before, for some reason, this time seemed the hardest time to
say goodbye.

Loneliness overcame her as
she left the airport behind. She always had her mama to go back to,
to call in between meetings, in between flights, on her way home,
anytime she needed. But she no longer could do that. Mama, her dear
Mama was gone.

Chapter 4

The
grief of losing her mama was unbearable. Needing additional
support, Tessa kept in touch with her sisters more now than before
the funeral. Each time she walked into her parents’ house the
memories enveloped her and she wouldn’t stay there for more than a
couple of hours at a time.

She often felt exhausted
from the business traveling, sometimes three or four days at a
time. Her life spiraled at an agonizing speed between work, travel
and social life. Some weekends she cleared more of her parents’
belongings and ran errands, others she’d have one event to attend
after another and by the time Monday rolled in she was already
tired. The following week she’d start all over again.

For a while things seemed
better between her and Daniel. He appeared to understand her
grieving period and offered her comfort, but soon he left again for
days and spent more money than he made. She grew tired of arguments
and deep in her heart, she knew she needed to focus more on their
relationship.

“
Victor called and said you
need to stop by the office before you leave for Vienna. He said
it’s urgent.” Eva poked her head in Tessa’s office and left the
door open behind her.

“
What is it now? My plane
leaves in two hours and I haven’t even packed.” She sighed and
shoved a handful of files in her bag, then walked out of her
office.

“
Good morning,” Victor
invited her in. “Have a seat.”

“
Thanks,” Tessa took the
cup of green tea he handed her. “I need to be at the airport, so
what’s the emergency?” She took a sip from her cup, closed her eyes
to savor its aroma and felt energized within seconds.

She sat across from
Victor’s desk and waited for him to talk. When she looked at him
she realized something was wrong.

Victor seemed very nervous
and distracted—abnormal for him.

“
You know I have always
been very frank with you, and I have to tell you something that is
very difficult for me,” Victor began slowly. He sighed, held his
head between his palms then loosened his tie. “Someone else will
take over your projects and—”

“
Wait a minute here!” Tessa
shouted. “What? Why?”

“
I’ve been asked to release
you,” Victor replied, dread in his voice.

“
Release me? Weeks ago you
announced I’d replace you once you retire and now you are going to
release me? Is this a joke?” She slammed her mug down and stood to
confront Victor, palms on his desk.