Hidden Heart (36 page)

Her body ached, especially
her neck, and a strong nausea feeling made her stomach roll up and
down. She realized she wasn’t in her bed, or on the sofa, but
rather on a hard surface. What happened to her? Did she pass out on
the floor? Her head rested on a pillow and she was covered. Oh,
yes, Cristian came over and…
Oh, God, what
have I done?

Tessa bolted straight up,
her eyes wide open. She was in her living room, on the floor, next
to the sofa. The room was semi-dark with the blinds half open. She
wore her terry bathrobe—what happened to her gown?

“
Good afternoon, sleeping
beauty,” Cristian said, handing her a cup of coffee.

Tessa averted her eyes,
then shook her head. “I don’t drink coffee,” she murmured. She
brought her knees up and rested her head on top of them, clutching
onto the robe’s lapels.

“
Well, you’ll need it;
trust me. I didn’t know if you have any Aspirin in your house, so I
went to the pharmacy and got you some, but first you need to eat.”
He walked to open up the wood shutters and the bright light coming
in made Tessa’s headache explode even more. Then he opened the
windows and the fresh air and the street’s noise entered the
room.

Cristian brought her a
piece of toast with butter and jelly, a glass of water and two
aspirins. He brought his own coffee cup and sat next to her,
waiting for her to eat.

Tessa took the plate and
bit into the bread. At first she thought she’d throw up, but after
the second bite, she began feeling somewhat better—at least her
stomach didn’t growl anymore. She finished it, took the aspirin and
washed them down with half a glass of water. She placed everything
on the floor next to her and took the cup of coffee. She had a ton
of questions, but was afraid to ask. Did he spend the night with
her? Did they go so wild, they had sex on the floor? What else did
she do?

Cristian yawned and took a
sip of his coffee, then looked sideways at her.

She felt her cheeks burning
with embarrassment. She toyed with her coffee, pulled at her
bathrobe, avoiding looking directly at Cristian; him staring at her
didn’t ease up her anxiety.

“
So, you feeling any
better? He asked, still gazing at her sideways.

Tessa cleared her throat,
took a sip of the coffee and made a grimace. “This is the most
horrible tasting thing ever, how can you drink this?” She wiped her
mouth with her sleeve.

Cristian laughed, throwing
his head backwards and said, “It’s black and if you don’t usually
drink coffee it tastes bitter, but you kind of need to drink it
that way; it helps the hangover.”

Tessa opened her mouth to
say something, but heard the beeping sound of her washing
machine.

“
Ah, the load is done.”
Cristian stood and walked to the laundry room.

Tessa stood and followed
him. “You did my laundry?”

One by one he took bed
sheets, towels, and her gown out of the machine. She snatched the
gown from his hand and hid it under the wet bed sheets in the
hamper.

Cristian laughed and said,
“Sexy little thing. You’re actually cute when you’re drunk, but
next time have some dinner before you wrestle with a bottle of
wine.”

“
Cristian, stop! I’m
embarrassed enough; I have no idea what happened and you continue
teasing me! It’s not funny, stop!” she slapped him slightly on his
hand.

“
Ouch! Are you trying to
bruise me so I match you?” He backed off a step, pretending to
hurt.

Tessa looked at him and
burst into laughter. She grabbed his hand and said, “Leave this. We
need to talk.”

They walked into the
kitchen. She filled two glasses with water, then stood across from
him.

“
You got my
message…”

“
I sure did. I was on my
way home, turned around and came, as you requested.”

“
And?” Tessa asked, still
incapable to look into his eyes.

“
And… you kissed me and you
told me something that… something that took me by surprise and
I—”

Tessa buried her face in
her palms. Embarrassment didn’t even encompass everything she felt.
She shook her head then gazed at Cristian.

He looked dead
serious.

“
You okay?”

He shrugged one shoulder
and said, “I don’t usually have drunken women calling me to visit
them, then passing out while we go heavily at it, vomiting all
night, so I’d say… I feel pretty
special
.” He brushed a hand through
his hair, then spiked it back up.

Tessa looked at him with
horror. His face was serious, but there was something in his eyes
that confused her.

Cristian held her gaze then
burst into laughter.

“
What’s there to laugh
about?”

“
Your face,” he
said.

“
I’m glad you’re having
fun,” Tessa murmured.

Cristian stopped laughing
then nudged her shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. What’s
done is done. I’m assuming you had a good reason for getting drunk
and I’m actually glad you called me—even though it wasn’t for the
right reason.”

Tessa sighed, feeling
remorse and sadness.

“
I need to know; did I…did
we?”

“
Have sex?” Cristian
finished her sentence when she couldn’t. “No, we didn’t.” He looked
at her with sad eyes and pressed his lips tight.

“
Thank goodness,” she said.
A sigh of relief escaped Tessa, then she saw his face go pale, and
hurried to say, “Cristian, please don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean
it that way.”

He tried to walk away, but
she grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop, and looking deep into
his blue eyes she said, “You are one of the nicest guys I have ever
met. You’ve been my friend now during a period of my life when I
couldn’t trust anyone; but with your candor, your patience, your
sense of humor, your passion, you helped me learn how to let people
back into my life. I wish I could give you what you want, but I
can’t.”

Tessa sighed and swallowed
the lump that formed in her throat. She wiped her tears and
continued, “Yesterday was one of those days I’ll probably remember
for the rest of my life. I was driving to see my therapist and this
young man jumped out of nowhere in front of my car and I got out
and saw him lying on the ground. Then another driver came and when
I asked for help he said the kid was pretending and I should kick
him aside, get in my car and drive away because I was blocking the
traffic.

“
Then he kicked my car,
called me names, and began insulting me. I was taking all that
abuse while people crowded around us to see the scene…and something
I don’t know what, made me stand up and follow the man back to his
car and I…I hit him in his crotch.”

“
He insulted you and hit
your car? You hit
him
?” Cristian stared at her with incredulous eyes.

“
Yeah. I hit him. I hit him
for the teenager hurting and laying on the ground, that he didn’t
want to lend a helping hand; for all the women that are out there
taking the kind of abuse we take when men think that we can’t
drive, or all we know how to do is whore around…I’m so sick of this
mentality. Maybe that’s why I want so desperately to have this
event we’re working on happen soon, so we can change something. Why
do people have to be so hateful? Why is there a need for so much
abuse?”

Cristian faced her and
wiped off her tears with his thumbs. His face came down to her, as
if he wanted to kiss her, then abruptly he hugged her and rocked
her slightly.

The embrace felt warm.
Tessa closed her eyes and let Cristian rock her—it felt good. Her
tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. He held her
for a while, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“
You don’t stop amazing me.
I wonder if there are stores around that sell armor, or something,”
Cristian said after a while, and when she didn’t say anything, he
looked down at her and said, “You know, for protection?”

Tessa pinched his arm then
said, “Keep teasing, then no armor will protect you from
me.”

Cristian didn’t go home
right away. Instead, he helped Tessa hang up her clothes outside on
the terrace. Then they cooked together. It turned out he was a
passionate cook, showing her how to flip pancakes, tossing them in
the air and catching them
in
the pan, not peeling them off the floor. Later
after dinner, they went and rented a movie and returned to her
house.

Cristian placed a popcorn
bag in the microwave. “So… are you going to tell me why you need a
therapist?”

Chapter 20

Sprin
g
made the city look somewhat nicer.
The fragrant blossoms added a bit of color to the uniform-boring
gray buildings. The heartbeat of the city throbbed nonstop with its
congested traffic, people hurrying in every direction and music
pouring from restaurants and bars. At one point the City Council
had tried to rid the streets of all stray dogs—a threat to
pedestrians—and captured them, but the media began a
“save-the-dogs” campaign in which everyone was encouraged to adopt
a dog. Soon enough, the adopted dogs were back on the streets—most
people adopted them from the goodness of their heart, but they
barely had enough food themselves, let alone enough to raise a
dog.

The runaway kids—most of
them gypsies—packed the intersections, either begging for money or
cleaning cars’ windshields. Now that the weather warmed up, it
seemed they assaulted the streets, talking loudly, darting quickly
between cars, unaware of the risks they put not only themselves
through, but the drivers who needed to pay that much more
attention.

Tessa returned from the
hospital where the young man she accidentally hit on the road had
been released. She gave him a ride home, picked up a few groceries
and his medication at the store and made sure he was safe. The
family didn’t want to press charges; police found the young man at
fault and a lawsuit wouldn’t benefit anyone, except maybe the
lawyers and courts. She promised she’d check on him in a few days
and she’d take him back to the hospital for his
cast-removal.

Victor had called a few
times and left messages for her to call him back. In talking with
him, Tessa remembered the life she used to enjoy, the adrenaline
rush caused by closing a deal, or taking on a new challenge—things
she no longer needed to prove herself, nor to fulfill her
life.

“
Victor, I don’t know what
to say. I’m not sure I’m prepared to see everyone,” Tessa
said.

“
Come on, kiddo. It’ll do
you good to get out of the house. I can’t imagine you not being
there for the R.O.C.A. opening; think how hard you’ve worked on the
project. Remember Mr. Deuvault? He always asks when you’re coming
back; besides everyone in the office would love to see you. You are
missed, you know?”

Tessa shook her head,
listening to Victor. “Okay. I’ll try. But you have to promise you
let me go when I say I need to go. And you also have to promise not
to try to convince me to return to work.
And
don’t put me on the spot like you
did at the firm’s party announcing some crazy thing
again.”

“
Huh, you’re still
pretentious, aren’t you?”

“
Don’t get me started,
Victor. You have yet to send me on a vacation, as you
promised.”

He didn’t reply right away.
Instead, he humphed a few times, then he finally said, “I’ll be
damned, you’re right. I still owe you that vacation; why don’t you
come over for dinner or something, make arrangements with Dina and
we can talk. We’re looking at a few cruises, who knows? Maybe we
all go on a vacation.”

“
I hate to tell you, but I
turned eighteen a long time ago, and don’t need babysitting
anymore,” Tessa replied, barely holding a laugh. Then, before
Victor could say another word, she said, “I’ll see you soon,” and
hung up.

She looked through her mail
and found the invitation Victor had sent her. The opening was
scheduled in two weeks, but it made her feel nervous knowing she’d
see everyone there. Would people bombard her with questions? Would
Alessandro be there? Would he bring his new girlfriend and her
daughter?

The thought of Alessandro
made her heart beat faster. If she could turn back time, she’d hold
onto him, keep him close to her heart, part of her life, part of
her future. When she asked him to leave, she thought it was best
for
him
. She
thought she needed to punish herself for wanting her baby dead.
What she didn’t know was how much she’d suffer without seeing him,
how much she’d miss him. But she knew, turning time back was not an
option.

Her phone rang again and
thinking Victor called back, she answered laughingly, “What? I was
telling the truth—”

“
Hello? I’m sorry, is this
Tessa, Ms. Tessa Cosma?” a strong baritone voice asked.

“
Oh, sorry. I thought it
was someone else calling. Who’s asking?”