Hidden Faults (41 page)

Tell the truth about the effect of naksen,
I said, standing side by side with Kir as I made the flaming sword disappear. Kregan flinched most satisfyingly at that.
End compulsory tattooing. End the imprisonment and discrimination. Noret and his thugs persuaded people it was necessary once, they can unpersuade them now. You have the ability. You just don’t have the balls.

We don’t have the
numbers.

How many telepaths?

Fifty-two.

More than enough. We have access to another twenty, more if we need them. Like I said, with us or against us.

I leaned in, igniting a little fireball near my face so Kregan had a damn good view of my nasty smile. Ganwe had taught me a thing or two about intimidation.
You don’t want to be against us, Kregan, you really don’t. For a start, we’ll take your hidden paranormals and bring them to our cause. We’ll expose you—and I don’t think you’d like prison very much. That nasty taste in your mouth? The twitching? The way your brain feels like it’s made of jelly? Think you’d enjoy that? Or days of withdrawal when the others steal your dose? No, I don’t think you would. That’s if the government even let you live, considering what you’ve been hiding.

I’ll bring you all down with me!

I smiled wider.
Got to catch me first. Jeyle?

All done.

Kir took over.
We’ll be fair. Give you time to think about it. Gotta let all that shit out of your system, though you’re gonna feel pretty sick tomorrow. In three days, I’ll be in contact. I’ll be monitoring you and your family, people you work with, the whole time, so don’t even think about trying to blab to no one. Three days, you give me your answer. With us or against us. But I promise you, I will take you
down
if you’re against us. It’s over, Kregan. The game’s over—we’re playing by new rules now.

I...I don’t need to think about it.
Kregan glanced at his wife.
I agree.

Does he?
I asked Kir.

Yeah, for now anyway. ‘Course, I could make him, but it should be his choice, free and clear.

Kregan roused himself enough to sit up on his elbows, though the shaking made it hard for him. I stepped on the twitch of sympathy, reminding myself I owed him nothing any more.
You threaten my family and it’s a choice?

It amused me a little to hear the moral outrage. To think I’d once admired this man and his apparently strong ethical centre. All a sham.

Sure,
I said.
It’s just not a very pleasant one. Welcome to my reality, Kregan. And don’t think any of us will trust you, or that you can trick us. You don’t know how many of us are here, where we are, or what we can do. We’re watching you and yours. You have your secret army, we have ours.

He slumped back onto the bed.
Jodi, I’m not your enemy.

You’re not my friend and never will be. I trusted you. You let me be sent to hell on earth. Nothing you can do will make up for that.

I’m sorry. There was too much at risk.

Shut up.

I turned my back on him, the stench of betrayal too strong to stomach.

We left not long after that, once Kir had carefully fudged Kregan’s memories to blur his and Jeyle’s faces and names. Me, Kir left bright and clear. That I was a paranormal and on the loose was no secret to Noret. The others, we wanted to protect in case Kregan went back on his word. I didn’t trust him any more.

My hands shook all the way back to Meram’s house.

Safely inside, we found a relieved and delighted Meram still awake. “Will it be all right, do you think?”

I didn’t know, but Jeyle stepped into the breach. “Yes, it will, Meram. We’ll do what it takes to protect you, you know that.”

“Yes, we will,” I added, and she actually smiled at me.

“Then everyone, let’s go to bed, and hope that the dawn brings hope for your kind and our country.”

Jeyle followed us into the bedroom. I was glad of that. I needed a chance to talk to both of them about what had happened.

“Will he renege, Jodi?” she asked, eyes hopeful and anxious at the same time. “Is he a man of his word?”

“Once I would have said so. Now...we have to be prepared to follow through with the threat. I hope we don’t have to.”

“I nearly pissed myself when you did that thing,” Kir said, grinning as he sat down. “So did he. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I learned from the best,” I said, and sent an image of Ganwe to him. He nodded, his mouth turned down. “At least now he’ll understand personally what withdrawal is like. He won’t be so casual about injecting someone else again.” I surprised myself at how brightly the anger over Kregan’s actions all those month ago still burned in me. More than over anything else that had happened, actually.

“I wish we could make all those people suffer it,” Jeyle said. “You did well, both of you. Especially you, Jodi.” My mouth hung open in shock at the utterly unexpected praise. “I know that can’t have been easy for you.”

“I, uh...it was easy at the time.” Though my hands still shook a little. “I don’t want to get into the habit of threatening innocent people.” I wished no harm to Nuela, a woman who’d been very kind to me. I couldn’t have carried a threat against her personally. Kregan...I wasn’t so sure. That lack of certainty shocked me now.

“
You gotta do what it takes,” Kir said. “Sometimes...you gotta be the bad guy. He wasn’t gonna listen. He was trying to wiggle out of it right up until you put that flame near his wife. Then he caved. If we go through with this, there’s gonna be more people we have to strong-arm.”

“We’ll have to work with him to make this happen.”

Jeyle nodded. “Yes, and once I get this information back to the refuge and people like Wesejne, we’ll know better where our strengths lie. Kir, you need to stay here, watch him.”

He shrugged. “Figured.”

“Then I’m staying,” I said, fixing him with my eyes.

“
No, not yet, and not soon.” As I started to protest, he touched my hand. “Wait—it’s cos we need you. You and Jeyle, you’re gonna have to strong-arm our side. I can’t fight them, they don’t listen to me. Kregan? He’ll listen. We got
his
attention, and he’s smart—he knows he’s beat. Our guys are gonna take longer. And there’s Noret. We need Wesejne to work on him. But you two gotta make it happen. Don’t let me down.”

Jeyle bent and kissed his cheek. “No, darling, we won’t. But you won’t be on your own either.”

“It’s okay if I am cos I know I got people on my side. It’s great.” He gave us a big grin that didn’t seem the least faked, so I had to believe his words. “But we need to sleep, and talk some more before you leave.”

“Yes,” she said. “Goodnight then. I’ll transmit the list of paranormals to Hermi before I sleep.”

“Wait—one question,” I said. She stopped and looked at me. “Timo. Did the list say what he was? What kind of paranormal?”

“A telekinetic.” Her expression was kind as I sagged a little with relief. “We don’t need him for this part of the plan.”

“Oh good. Thanks. I, uh—”

“I understand, Jodi. Goodnight.”

I couldn’t meet Kir’s eye as Jeyle closed the door. “I, uh—”

“Didn’t want your best friend caught up in this mess?”

“Which is cowardly of me, really. I mean, you are, she is, I am. Why is Timo so protected?”

“Because he’s family. I don’t have a problem with it, Jodi. And we don’t need him. Not yet.”

I turned to face him. “If this works...we’ll be free.”

“Like they say, there ain’t no picking up the tail feathers of the gakil till the boy bird does his dancing. Took more than twenty years to get to this point. I’ll believe we’re free when we are.”

“Nice dream, though.”

He grinned. “Yeah, ain’t it. Let’s get some sleep. Big plans need lots of rest.” He stood up and walked to me, took my hand and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for tonight. Meant a hell of a lot to me.”

“Least I could do, really.”

“
Oh no. The least you could do would’ve been a lot, lot less. That was a big thing. I won’t forget it.”

“Well, no. Perfect memory and all that.”

“Yeah.” He smiled rather sadly. “You know your life won’t be the same whatever happens. No more working for him or the government, most likely.”

“I know. I want...what Timo has.”

“Wife and kids?”

“Um...maybe not that. Just....”

You
, I thought. The realisation struck like a blow to the gut. I didn’t want to be Kir’s friend, I wanted...I wanted him to be what Timo had been and could never be again. But how could that happen? Tonight had changed nothing, and whatever happened with Kregan, it still wouldn’t change.

“You okay?” Kir frowned, worried.

“Yes. I...it was a bit of a shock tonight.”

“Yeah, it was.” He kissed me again, chastely with no hint of wanting more. “Let’s go to bed.”

I caught his wrist. “Wait. Kir....” This would be so much easier if I could let him read my mind. “I...the way you feel about me....”

“Yeah?” He cocked his head, puzzled.

“You still do, right? No change?”

His eyes slid away guiltily. “No. Jodi, I know you— “

“I feel the same too. I mean...about you.” Was it so hard to say the damn words? “I love you.”

Kir froze. “Since when?”

“Since...I don’t know when it started, but I realised it just now—”

His expression changed, became almost scornful. “‘S nice, Jodi. So what happens when you decide that I made you think that? When you start asking yourself, ‘why did my feelings suddenly change?’”

“I...don’t know.”

“
Right.” He freed his wrist. “I can’t do it. I can’t hear those words come out of your mouth. Not again.”

“They won’t!”

“Yeah, sure. We should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”

He turned away from me, apparently only concerned with fetching his pyjamas.

“So what I feel doesn’t matter?”

“Not if you don’t trust along with it. It’s too soon, Jodi. Maybe it always will be.” He turned and gave me a painful smile. “Um...it’s nice. That you, uh.... No one’s said that. I mean, not like that exactly. But it ain’t enough.”

“If I can forgive you, why can’t you try?”

“Because I got no defence against you. You’ll tear me up, and I ain’t strong enough. You can’t help it. You’d never believe these feelings were real. I wish you could,” he added in a whisper.

“
You don’t
know
. You might be wrong.”

“Yeah. But I probably won’t be and....” He bit his lip. “Losing you twice is too much.”

I’d lost him twice already. “Will this stop us being friends?”

“Only if you let it. I, uh....” He shifted on his feet, uncomfortable with my presence. “You want the bathroom first?” I shook my head and he bolted, doubtless glad to get away from my unwanted affections.

Lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, I knew that I would never be truly free. When he told me he wanted to settle down with a family, Timo had said he wouldn’t ever be happy if he couldn’t have that basic wish, no matter what else went well in his life.

Now I knew what he meant.

Eighteen months after that night, I stepped off a rollo at Tsikeni, suitcase in hand, ready to start a new life as a free, exonerated paranormal. At least a dozen paranormals and their families had made the same journey to the south coast along with me to ‘Spook City’ as the port town had become known. But the journey here had lasted longer than the three days it had taken to come from Vizinken. So much had changed, and though looking back, it had all happened so fast, as we had gone through it, pushing, planning, hoping, it had seemed so agonisingly slow. A government had fallen, careers of powerful and dangerous men had been destroyed, and a mixture of subversion, clever planning and no small amount of sheer good luck had slowly and profoundly changed the hearts and minds of an entire nation.

In reality, less change had been needed than we’d feared. The mood for reform, for justice had been there already after such a long repression. So many families had lost too much, too many individuals had their freedoms destroyed, that the first cracks which appeared in the impenetrable wall of government control, had been eagerly ripped apart by many desperate hands. Even Kregan, so cautious at first, had been amazed how quickly the efforts of carefully placed telepaths in ‘suggesting’ legal changes or media reports to the right people, had been seized upon. Paranormals had not been the only group the government had tried to quell, and we weren’t the only ones to benefit from new laws, new rights, new liberties. There were new opportunities in the south, where a canny and open-minded local governor welcomed our kind. I was the first refugee from the mountain refuge to actually leave the north. I wouldn’t be the last.