Hidden Desires (7 page)

Brooke was not happy. She had a very emotionally confusing night and still wasn't sure why she needed to make love to Grant so desperately in the middle of the night. She was sure though, that it had something to do with her dreams of Cayden, which were becoming more frequent, and more sexual. Just this morning she was dreaming of Cayden and they were making out like teenagers in the back of a movie theater. What she found most confusing about these dreams was that they were turning her on.
It's one thing to have a simple crush, it's a whole other thing to dream about having sex with another woman... and like it.
Brooke's mind was all jumbled when Bev stuck her head over the partition.

"I'm sorry Bev, did you say something?"

"I just wanted to borrow your stapler, mine's jammed again. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"No, you're not, but it's ok if you don't want to talk about it. Just know that you can, ok?"

"Thanks Bev."

After the older woman returned the stapler and disappeared into her cubicle, Brooke sat quietly and thought.
Should I talk to Bev about this?
Green eyes drifted to the wall that separated her from Bev.
She may just understand. Then again, do I even want to talk about this with anyone...

T
HE FUZZY BELLY Deli was having one of it's busier days. Cayden didn't mind much as the business made the day go quickly. What she did mind, was the crazys who popped up here and there, making her day a little more stressful than necessary. Jodie showed up late in the afternoon and went about stocking the shelves and making lists on what had to be reordered. Jodie wasn't an actual employee, she was a part time student and had a job waitressing a few nights a week in a dive downtown. She only hung out with Cayden because she liked to. She, unlike her friend, enjoyed interacting with the clients and loved the crazy people even more. The errant loon seemed attracted to Cayden, which made Jodie laugh because her tall friend was the last person that wanted to deal with them. Jodie loved to talk to them, listen to their insane stories and ridiculous ranting, but they all loved Cayden. Jodie often teased her friend about the attraction and Cayden swore she'd give anything to make it go away. There must have been quite a few loons, if Cayden's mood was any indication.

"So, Cayd, was it like this all day?" Jodie asked after a swarm of customers left.

"Yeah, pretty much. Blanche came in this morning... ruined a perfectly good pint of ice cream."

"Oh! I love Blanche! Are you still the devil?"

"No, just a son of a bitch." Cayden chuckled. "I tell you, sometimes I have no patience for her and others I do. Today was barely tolerable."

"Face it hon, they love you. You got that face."

"Well then maybe I should wear a mask." The tall woman said with a scowl.

Jodie frowned at Cayden's bad mood. "What's wrong?"

Cayden sighed and stared at the TV.

"Oh I know! The blind date! Tell me, what was
her
party trick?"

"She could flex each ass cheek independently of the other."

"Whoa baby!" The brown haired woman whooped then pouted when Cayden didn't even smile. "Okay, talk to me." she said, wedging herself between Cayden and the TV.

"Fine. She was built like Stallone and had tattoos of death."

"So? What's wrong with that? She didn't pull her pants down and piss on the bar did she?"

Blue eyes narrowed.

"Still... was she at least nice?"

"I suppose." The tall woman shrugged, then studied Jodie. "Ohhh, I see. Go for it Jo, you can have her with my blessing. I think you two would get along famously."

"You really think I'd like her?" Jodie asked with interest.

"She has a vagina." Cayden said dryly.

"Hardy har. So, that's what's pissing you off?" Her muscles and tattoos?"

"No, and I'm not really pissed off. I'm... I don't know. Maybe I'm just disgusted."

"With what?"

"Women, dating... everything."

"Oh please, until the next hot woman gives you the eye."

"That's you Jo, not me. I'm really tired of it."

Jodie rolled her eyes and jumped up to sit on the counter. "Hey, what ever happened with that blonde... what was her name... did she ever come back?"

Cayden frowned harder. "Yeah, Brooke. She came back, with "Fred". Forget it, she's straight."

"Oh my god! That's why you're so pissy! You asked her out and she freaked!"

"No! I didn't ask her, but I wanted to. I was really going to do it."

"Then why are you so upset? She didn't shoot you down or anything. Besides, how do you
really
know she's straight?"

"Her
boyfriend
simply hates the smell of dog." She said sarcastically.

"Oh." Jodie said sadly. "Well, Cayd, there'll be others. And if you really like this one, remember, we were all straight once? She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh no. I will not go there. No way." Cayden protested.

"We'll see." Jodie said more to herself than out loud. Something about this little blonde touched Cayden differently than any others. Jodie had a feeling she'd be hearing if not seeing more of Brooke in the near future.

Grant cleared his plate from the table and brought it to the sink. Since Brooke was in front of him washing her dish, he took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her from behind. He sighed when she squirmed away. "What honey?" He asked.

"I'm not in the mood... please." She said shortly.

Grant pursed his lips.
You win some, you lose some
. He made his way to the fridge for a beer. "So, I made the doctors appointment for Saturday morning, this way you could meet up with Mom at Lord and Taylor in the afternoon. She hates shopping alone."

Brooke glared at the back of his head. "Um, I don't really want to go shopping."

"How do you know how you'll feel Saturday?"

The blonde frowned. "I just know. I was planning on visiting my mom on Saturday anyway."

"Why? You see her all the time."

"She's my mother, Grant, I should be able to see her whenever I want." She argued.

Grant rolled his eyes.
Here we go again...

"Honey, look, I know you can't be bitching because you're tired, I've seen you sleeping lately. So, what's your problem?"

Brooke nearly blushed. Sure she'd been sleeping, but she'd been dreaming too. "Nothing." she snipped.

"You've been crabby ever since this sleep thing started, but now you're just bitchy. I mean, just because I suggested that you go shopping..."

"Suggested? No you didn't suggest anything. I bet you already told her I'd go didn't you?"

Grant looked shocked. Brooke certainly was acting very strange, even for her.

"That's what I thought. Just like you made plans for me on Sunday too. Well, I'm not going with your mother on Saturday." Brooke stomped her foot.

Grant stepped back. "What the hell's gotten into you?"

Green eyes narrowed. "Nothing." she lied, throwing the dish towel on the table. "I just don't want to be bothered."

"Oh, so mother is a bother?" Grant asked hotly.

The blonde closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I didn't say that." she said through a clenched jaw.

"Fine. Do what you want on Saturday. I don't care, but
you
are going to call mother and cancel."

Brooke growled, startling Grant. "Fine." she said as she stomped into the other room.
He's just lucky that I didn't tell him I don't want to be bothered by him either.

Cayden decided to walk home after she closed up the shop. It was a long haul to Tribeca from uptown and it was a rare occasion that she'd walk the distance, but she really didn't feel like the subway or a bus. She fished her walkman out of her back pack and set it to her favorite station. Her dark glasses hid her blue eyes as she ambled on. She wasn't one to stare, but when she got lost in her music or deep in thought, it seemed like she was staring when in reality, she wasn't even seeing the people. New Yorkers have no tolerance for that sort of thing, and after a few altercations, dark glasses became a permanent part of her face. She wasn't in a hurry, but was making good time as her long legs ate up the sidewalks. While waiting for a traffic light a flash of blonde hair caught her attention. After investigating further, Cayden furrowed her brows.
Why would I think I saw Brooke? Of all people, her? Get over it Cayd.
She mentally slapped herself in the head and crossed the street. She tried to get lost in the music but the DJ's were rambling on, annoying her, and the little blonde kept coming to mind. She scowled behind her glasses.
I could have sworn she was checking me out, I'm never wrong about those things. How can she be straight? Unless she didn't like what she saw and made up a boyfriend. That's never happened to me before.
Cayden wasn't cocky, but was aware that she was attractive. However, SHE was always the one who made up excuses, never the other woman.
That's strange... now I know what it feels like. Serves me right I suppose for being so overly critical of every woman I meet.
Cayden began a laundry list of all the things she found wrong with the last few women she dated.
No, those were legitimate observations. They were all nuts. I wonder what's wrong with Brooke? She seems pretty normal. I wonder if she really does have a boyfriend. What's he like? Does he love her? He obviously hates dogs
. This made Cayden mad.
It's clear that Brooke loves Fred, how can she date a man who hates dogs? Ok Cayden, there you go again, making assumptions. Maybe it's just Fred. Maybe the little dog really smells bad and her boyfriend loves dogs, but not Fred's smell.
Cayden sighed heavily.
Shut up... just cut it out.
she scolded herself for going on and on about nothing. Her stomach suddenly growled and she realized she hadn't eaten dinner. When she neared her neighborhood, she stopped into a Chinese take out and called Wade on her hardly used cell phone. "Hey, I'm getting Chinese. You hungry?"

"Yay! I was just thinking to myself how lovely a fried won ton would be right now. "

"Dipping sauce?" Cayden asked.

"But of course."

"I'll be home in a few."

"Get shrimp for La La."

"La La can bite me."
Cayden shut her phone and ordered.
Maybe Brooke and her boyfriend have a dog at home for all I know. I bet if she does, its hairy. She looks like the type to have a small hairy dog. A Maltese, or a Pekingese... or maybe she has a cat. A Persian or an exotic breed...
Cayden frowned.
What the hell do I care? Jeez Cayd! Stop this nonsense this very minute. You act like you're obsessed with her!
Suddenly frightened, her eyes widened.
No. I can't be. Must just be horny.

Brooke was feeling rather haughty about getting her way with Grant. She wasn't really so against shopping with his mother, she just didn't want to spend any more time with the snooty woman than she had to. Brooke's family was an extremely social group, who used every opportunity to get together and celebrate. Grant's family were all busy bodies only interested in the status of each other's bank accounts. Brooke's family had fun together... pool parties, barbeques, beach days... memories she recalled fondly with a smile on her face. She dreaded get-togethers with Grant's family, and was left disgusted afterwards. Frankly, she didn't care for rich people's problems and wished she'd speak her mind when they complained about their Dolce and Gabana skirt not pleating properly. Actually, now that she thought about it, she really didn't know why she was being so submissive in the first place. Brooke wasn't the most outspoken person, but she certainly wasn't as namby pamby as she'd been acting.
Could I possibly be afraid of his family? Why? Do their opinions mean so much to me? Since when?
Brooke thought seriously for a moment.
Exactly why have I been allowing Grant to make plans, decide for me, even order my food in a restaurant? I've never been like this with anyone else. Why Grant?
She really wondered about this and it began to disturb her. She thought about when she met Grant and how he claimed to love her for who she was. It was so refreshing to hear that for a change... and he had a stable job unlike all her other boyfriends, another rarity among her past. Plus, he was seriously handsome. There was no reason why she shouldn't have been smitten with him.
Except... well, he's never asked me my opinion now that I come to think about it. He never flirted with me either. Jeez, no wonder it took me hours to realize that Cayden was flirting with me! It's been so long that I forgot what it was like.
Brooke heard the front door close and frowned.
He didn't even tell me where he was going. When I'd have a fight with my other boyfriends, they'd always buy me flowers or get me a card. Even if it wasn't their fault. I don't think he's ever gotten me flowers! Why have I settled? He respects me doesn't he? I thought he did. Is he taking me for granted? Bev said Nancy respects Sam. I wonder what she means. They seem so incredibly happy. I wonder if Cayden's girlfriend respects her, I bet she does. Maybe that other woman was her girlfriend? Nah, that woman was weird, probably not Cayden's type. I wonder what her type is? I bet Cayden buys her girlfriend flowers when they fight.
Brooke furrowed her brows in confusion, not knowing when her thoughts turned from Grant to Cayden. She shook her head and stood in front of her mirror, taking stock of herself. She found herself to be attractive, she had pretty eyes when they weren't red and puffy, and her lips were always described as full. Her body was tone and tight, she had a good sized chest and a nice round butt. Two things Grant was very happy with. Sometimes she felt that was all he was happy with.
Could I just be a trophy? Me? Nah.
Brooke had seen pictures of his former girlfriends, frilly froo-froo girly girls. She wasn't overly feminine and giggly. She was quite athletic and loved to roller blade, ski and play sports.
It's been ages...
she thought as she looked to the closet. With a slight smile she dug out her roller blades and put them on.
Why the hell not? He left, and I have no idea where he went. Funny enough, I really don't care. Probably complaining to his mother.
She smirked to herself.
Yeah... now where were those wrist guards?