Hidden Cottage (34 page)
Originally there had been no mention of any hats being modelled but then two days ago Mia had received a call from the editor of the magazine saying it would be nice to have some shots of hats actually being worn. Muriel and Georgina, who had posed for the website in the past, eagerly offered their services but then yesterday the editor had called again and requested that girls of a more youthful appearance pose for the camera.
‘Blooming cheek,’ Muriel had muttered when Mia had explained the situation to her and Georgina. Mia had then enlisted Daisy and Tattie to help, who thankfully were both free at such short notice. She’d also asked Eliza, but she’d been working in the London office this week, apart from Monday when once again both she and Simon had stayed at Medlar House. Eliza claimed to be feeling a lot better, but Mia could see for herself that she was still very fragile. It upset her profoundly that there was nothing she could do to make the pain go away for Eliza.
It also made her feel guilty about her newfound happiness with Owen, and then, of course, there was the guilty deceit that was never far from her thoughts. To placate her conscience, she told herself the deceit would only continue for a short while. She had been so angry with Jeff on the phone last Sunday evening that she had very nearly told him there and then that she wanted a divorce, but she had held back – she didn’t want to do it when she was angry. It had to be done properly, calmly and rationally.
How Jeff would react was anybody’s guess, but that was something Mia wasn’t going to dwell on. All she knew was that there was nothing he could say or do to make her change her mind. She had backed out once before; it wouldn’t happen a second time.
But that was in the future. For now her main concern was his adamant refusal to speak to Daisy unless she apologized to him. As Mia had pointed out, Daisy was so very much his daughter – having inherited his stubbornness – an apology from her was unlikely to be forthcoming any time soon. It was beyond Mia’s comprehension that Jeff could hold a grudge against the one person in the world who mattered most to him. ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ Owen had said when she’d told him the stance Jeff was now taking, ‘don’t you ever want to completely lose your temper with him?’
‘I’m too used to suppressing my emotions when it comes to Jeff,’ she’d said. ‘Staying in control is perhaps how I’ve stayed sane.’
‘You lose control with me,’ Owen had said with a smile, ‘when we’re in bed together.’
She had blushed at his comment. ‘That’s because you make me feel different about myself,’ she’d said. And goodness, how he did! He was such a considerate lover, gentle and thoughtful but at the same time highly passionate and sensual. In turn that increased her desire for him and she gave herself to him entirely and uninhibitedly.
Yesterday he’d asked if it would be arrogant of him to suggest that maybe she became her true self when she was with him. Lying in his arms, she’d kissed him and said, ‘I’d say it was a very perceptive insight on your part.’
A burst of laughter brought about a swift change of direction to her thoughts and watching her youngest daughter laughing and joking with Tattie as they struck up various poses for the photographer, Mia thought how wonderful it was to see Daisy so happy and relaxed. The poor girl had gone through so much but in this moment, right now, and despite her father’s awful behaviour, she looked more light-hearted than Mia had ever seen her. Jensen had made much the same observation when he’d last seen his sister and agreed that perhaps it was only now, now that she was leaving them, that Daisy was becoming the person she was meant to be. Freeing herself from her family, and all that went hand in hand with that – principally the role she had been cast in – she was no longer carrying the weight of expectation she had grown up with, that of trying to be the daughter Jeff had wanted her to be.
But as happy for Daisy as she was, Mia knew that when the day came to say goodbye at the airport it would be truly heart-wrenching. All she could do was concentrate on the future – the regular chats on Skype and emails and hopefully the trips she would make to Australia to see her daughter. As Daisy said, the world was a much smaller place than it used to be, Australia wasn’t really that far away.
Yesterday Muriel had joked that while Mia and Jeff were losing a daughter to the other side of the world, in exchange they were gaining a daughter-in-law and a ready-made granddaughter. Mia had no idea if marriage was on the cards between Jensen and Tattie, but secretly she hoped it might be. Perhaps it was a quaint notion these days, but she liked the old-fashioned idea of a wedding. She suspected Madison might like it too.
At the photographer’s instruction, Daisy and Tattie had now swapped hats and were posing individually for the camera. The pair of them were born to it, Mia thought with a smile. She looked over to where Madison was thoroughly absorbed in a puzzle book. She really was such a delightfully easy child to have around.
Another word search done, Madison closed the puzzle book and watched Mia watching Mum and Daisy. The more she got to know Mia, the more she could see that JC was a bit like her. It was the way he would quietly stand back and watch people, just as Mia did. Which was something she liked to do as well.
It was a shame JC wasn’t here with them now but he was busy back in London finishing something important with his work. Madison should really have stayed behind with him and gone to school, but Mum had said that it would be all right for her to have the day off, that no one would really mind, given that she was leaving school before the end of term anyway.
JC had suggested that Mum drive his car here this morning and pick up Daisy on the way and so long as he managed to finish whatever it was he had to do, he would catch the train tonight and join them for the weekend. Tomorrow they were going to go and see their new house again – Mum wanted to check the measurements for the bedroom windows so that she could make new curtains. Then in the afternoon Madison was going to see Beth and have tea with her.
Every time she thought of the new life they would have here, she felt a warm, tingly glow of happiness. But always, always,
always
, she then felt a prickle of doubt and she would worry that it wasn’t going to happen, that something would go wrong and spoil everything. Whenever she told Mum this, Mum said that there was nothing to worry about, that nothing was going to go wrong. But Madison wasn’t fooled by her certainty, because it was just the sort of thing that mothers had to say, wasn’t it?
‘But—’
‘No buts, Channing. Everything’s arranged, so you absolutely cannot say no. All you have to do is trust me.’ He came round to her side of the desk, where she’d been gathering up her things to go home, and held out his hand to her.
‘I don’t understand,’ Eliza said. She stared blankly at Simon’s hand and then at his face.
‘You will. Now just for once in your life allow someone to do something for you.’ He slipped her laptop bag off her shoulder and hooked it over his own.
‘What on earth’s got into you, Simon?’
‘Nothing but the decision to give you a couple of days of proper relaxation. Is that so very bad?’
‘But I was going to work over the weekend.’
He tutted and shook his head. ‘I know you were. But to hell with work! You’re not a drone; it can keep until Monday.’
‘But I can’t just—’
He tutted again. ‘What did I say about no buts? Come on, let’s get going; time is of the essence.’
Suddenly she was being dragged out of the office she shared with him and he was taking her at speed towards the corridor and the lifts. Thank God there was no one else around to witness this spectacle, she thought. ‘Where are you taking me?’ she demanded when they came to a halt.
He pressed the button and immediately the doors opened. He pulled her inside. ‘Somewhere you’ll unwind. Somewhere mobile phones, laptops and iPads are banned. And yes, Eliza, such places do exist in the world.’
She pulled a face at him as the doors closed, realizing then that they weren’t alone; there was someone else in the lift with them – a smartly dressed woman Eliza recognized from the law firm on the floor above theirs. The lift began to make its descent and her face reddening with embarrassment, Eliza turned away and in the stark overhead light she caught sight of herself in the mirrored wall and almost recoiled with shock. Surely that haggard stranger with the sickly, washed-out face and the bruised arcs beneath her eyes wasn’t her? Did she really look that awful? And oh God, what had happened to her hair? When had she last washed it, never mind been to the hairdresser and had it cut?
The lift doors opened. Simon stepped back and allowed the other women to go first. And as if suspecting she might make a run for it, he took hold of Eliza’s arm again. ‘Anyone would think I was a prisoner by the way you’re manhandling me,’ she said irritably.
‘An interesting choice of word,’ he said, ‘because that’s what you’ve become, a prisoner, and of your own making.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means you need a break. You’re worn out. Not just with what Greg did to you, but with what you’re doing to yourself. You can’t make the pain go away with working crazy hours and pushing yourself to the brink. Not if I have anything to do with it.’
She swallowed. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘By the end of the weekend I hope to have disabused you of any more of that absurdly delusional talk.’
On the busy street he hailed a cab directly outside the office building on Shaftesbury Avenue. He pushed her in the back and after he’d spoken to the driver, he got in beside her. She opened her mouth to say that she really didn’t appreciate being pushed around, when he shook his head. ‘Not another word,’ he said. ‘I mean it.’
Rich whistled. ‘Right, so you ignored everything I said. You’ve now officially turned yourself into a home wrecker.’
‘I haven’t!’
Looking up from where she was piping pale blue icing onto Matthew’s first birthday cake, Bea said, ‘Is it serious, Owen? Do you think she’ll really leave her husband for you?’
‘I don’t want her to leave him because of me. She must only do it if it’s right for her.’
Rich held out his glass for a refill from Steve. ‘High ideals, mate,’ he said, ‘but I’m not so sure things really work like that, do they? Wouldn’t she have left him before now if things were as bad as you say they are? Sounds like she might be stringing you along.’
Owen exchanged a glance with Bea. She smiled at him. ‘Do you want to tell old smarty-mouth here, or shall I?’ she said. ‘That these things aren’t as cut and dried as he thinks they are.’
‘What?’ Rich said, looking about the kitchen where they’d gathered, now that Matthew had finally settled upstairs.
‘You tell him,’ Owen replied. ‘Then I’ll bring his gross insensitivity to his attention.’
‘So this is how it can work, Rich,’ Bea began. ‘Even when the two people in a marriage know it’s over, they can often be bound to each other by fear of the unknown, or sometimes they’ve simply become accustomed to the way things are and accept it. Or,’ she said, continuing with the job of piping the cake, a frown of concentration creasing her forehead, ‘they hang in there because they still care about each other, or care about what they once had. That’s right, isn’t it, Owen?’
‘Oh, I get it, you’re talking about you two, aren’t you?’ Rich said.
‘Give the boy a banana,’ Owen said drily.
‘Hey, can I help it that I’m late to the relationship party?’
‘Then stop giving advice,’ Bea said. ‘Heaven help Catherine, is all I’ll say on the matter,’ she added with a smile. She straightened up to admire her handiwork. ‘Oh, hell, I’ve only put one T in Matthew’s name! I blame you for that, Rich, for being such an idiot and distracting me.’
‘Plenty of space there to squeeze in another T,’ Steve said helpfully, his arm around her shoulders.
Rich leant over and inspected the cake. ‘Don’t know what all the fuss is about,’ he said. ‘It’s not as if Matthew can read yet anyway.’
Bea flicked a dishcloth at him. ‘You really are the most maddening man on the planet, aren’t you?’
‘Who is?’
It was Catherine, down from having a shower and now changed out of her work clothes. She was much smaller than Owen had pictured – he’d been expecting a fierce, towering Amazonian woman who would keep Rich in order. But pale-skinned with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, Catherine was slightly built and in her own words, a ‘shortie’. She had a good sense of fun and energy.
‘I’m afraid that, as ever, they’re all ganging up on me,’ Rich said to her, while standing to offer his chair. ‘The moment you were gone, they turned on me.’
‘Ah, diddums,’ she said, ruffling his hair and accepting a glass of wine from Steve. ‘Nice work with the cake,’ she said to Bea. ‘Need any help with anything?’
She’s entirely the right woman for Rich, Owen found himself thinking: easy-going and not the sort to take any nonsense from him. What’s more, she fitted perfectly within their well-established group, just as Steve had. Which, when you thought about it, was a miracle. A miracle too that Owen got on with Bea’s new husband so well. He wondered if they would take to Mia in the same way they had Catherine.
He really hadn’t intended to discuss Mia in the depth that he had, but out in the garden earlier, when Steve and Rich were trying to extract a giggling Matthew from a complicated baby seat on a plastic swing and Catherine was upstairs, Bea had laughed and said, ‘How many men does it take to get a one-year-old out of a swing seat?’ Before Owen had answered, she’d gone on to say, ‘You don’t seem too cut up about Nicole. Is that because you’ve met someone else?’
‘What makes you think that?’
‘Because I know you, Owen. Plus I saw the way you reacted when your mobile went off with a text just a few moments ago. The smile on your face gave you clean away. I presume that was her?’
It had been. A few short words to say that she hoped he’d arrived safely.
And so he’d told Bea all about Mia. It had felt good finally being able to talk to someone about it. Yet at the same time, hearing himself say the words out loud, he’d been forced to acknowledge that the situation had Majorly Doubtful written all over it. Away from The Hidden Cottage – where life had taken on a happy and almost spellbinding dreamlike quality where anything felt possible – being here, in what felt like the real and highly objective world, a proper and open relationship with Mia suddenly felt far from ever happening. It made him want to get in his car and drive back to Little Pelham, to be with Mia and reassure himself that it was genuine between them, that he wasn’t fooling himself.
