Hidden (Book 1) (18 page)

Tressa sat down on a nearby rock, the muscles in her
arms sore and burning. She flexed one, impressed with the tone. It was amazing
what a difference a month of hard training could do. She’d devoted everything
to her mission, despite how much she longed to run back to Bastian. Knowing
that killing Stacia would mean bringing down the fog forever and set her people
free, Tressa was willing to risk a few lives to the plague to save the majority
of them.

“Looking incredible,
chouchou
,” Leo said, tossing her a wink. “Pretty soon
you’ll fool them all into thinking you’re one of them.”

She wiped the sweat from her brow,
bringing herself back to the present. “How often does the Black Guard take on
new soldiers?”

Leo brandished his sword. He stabbed
her padded chest, prodding her until she stood up again. “Only once a year.
On the summer solstice.
The men compete in the games for a
place in
Stacia’s
elite guard. Even current members
must compete to keep their place.”

Tressa snorted. “So much for
loyalty.”

Leo danced around her, his feet
sending the dirt into tiny whirling tornadoes. “It isn’t about loyalty. It’s
about
Stacia’s
safety.” He looked at Tressa
pointedly. “If you were the queen and you knew everyone hated you, wouldn’t you
only want the best surrounding you at every possible moment?”

Tressa nodded, breathing erratically.
She couldn’t keep up with his quick movements. There was no chance she’d ever
make the guard and get close to the queen. “Why haven’t you ever tried out?”
she asked between puffs, her chest straining for air.

Leo stopped suddenly, pushing the tip
of his sword into the ground. “Who’s to say I haven’t?”

She took the quiet moment as a chance
to steal a breath. “You have?”

“I was a member of her highest guard
for two years.” Leo bowed his head. “I left of my own accord after I saw atrocities
I could no longer support. Stacia is a cruel woman.
Far
crueler than her mother ever was.
I grew up wanting nothing more than to
serve her mother. By the time I was accepted into the guard, Stacia was coming
of age. Her mother let her handle more and more of the responsibilities. She
behaved like the spoiled child she was. Men died on her whim.”

Tressa’s heart went out to him. She
knew what it was like having her world torn apart because of others. It was why
she was here. Why she was learning. Why she decided to take that moment to
charge him.

Leo fell backward. Tressa landed on
his chest. Straddling him, holding him down with the strength of her thighs,
rendering Leo unable to move. He bucked, but she didn’t yield.

A smile graced his face. “Do this to
another man and he might get the wrong impression.”

“Perhaps,” Tressa said, a smile on
her face, “but you are not like other men. Besides, when I fight for my place
in the Black Guard they will all think I am a man.”

“Even so, some men might be turned on
by this from another man.”

Tressa rolled off of Leo and lay down
on the ground next to him. “Are you one of those men?” Despite knowing it was
none of her business, she was curious. In the last month, he hadn’t courted
anyone – man or woman. Leo was strong and attractive. With a flick of his
fingers, he could interest anyone.

Leo sobered
up,
the laughter that always accompanied his voice was silent. “Why?”

Tressa shrugged. “I don’t understand
why you’re not coupled.”

“Why aren’t you?” he asked.

“You know why. I’ve told you about
Bastian.” Her heart ached. She missed him so much. It would all be over soon,
though. She was closer to achieving her goal. Confiding in Leo had helped
soothe her pain. She’d told him only pieces of her life story. Enough for him
to see her heart, but she never mentioned Hutton’s Bridge. Only a home she was
forced to leave.

“I don’t care if you’re interested in
men or women or sheep, Leo. I only want you to be loved and happy.”

He rolled on his side and poked
Tressa on the nose. “I am. You bring me joy.”

Tressa rolled her eyes. “That’s not
what I mean and you know it.”

“I have loved in the past,” Leo
rubbed his goatee, “and I have lost. If I meet another whom I desire, I’ll act.
Until then, it’s not worth discussing.”

A winged insect landed on Tressa’s
hand. She held still, mastering her breath. Slow and steady. “Do you see it?”
she whispered, not wanting to scare it away.

“It’s beautiful,” Leo said. “You know
what they say about butterflies, don’t you?”

“This is a butterfly?” Tressa had
heard of them from Granna, but they didn’t have any in Hutton’s Bridge.
At least not alive.
In the town hall, a few specimens were
pinned to a board, kept safe from dust and the ravages of time by a thin layer
of glass. She hadn’t ever imagined the stiff, thin wings could be so glorious
once brought back to life. To her, they were ugly, the color faded from their
wings, stiff as bones. “What do they say about them?”

“Some think they are the
representation of a soul immediately following death.”

“That’s beautiful and morbid.”

Leo laughed quietly. “They also
represent change, metamorphosis. I think it’s appropriate for one to visit you
now.”

Tressa watched the winged creature as
it took flight so effortlessly, gliding on the wind without another care in the
world. She envied it. Her life had never been easy, but it had never been so
hard as it was now. If her metamorphosis worked, she might have a chance at a
normal life. If not, then a butterfly might visit her loved ones. Well, loved
one. There was no one other than Bastian. Leo, yes, but he was a new friend.
He’d move on without her. His life wouldn’t be disrupted.
Bastian’s
would. At least she hoped it would.

“How long until the summer solstice?”
She’d lost track of the days since leaving Hutton’s Bridge. Time was no longer
linear. It advanced in spurts and dragged on interminably on other days. Her
job at the inn was a daily form of servitude. Patrons needed to be served every
day of the week. There was no day for rest. All of her free time was spent with
Leo.

Even Ira assumed she and Leo had
coupled up. They kept up the ruse, knowing it was the only way they could justify
spending so much time together. They’d also perfected the art of the fake
embrace. At any given moment, Leo would grab Tressa and bury his face in hers.
He never actually kissed her, or even showed any interest in doing so. His
mastery of disguise extended to even the smallest nuance.

Tressa had seen people walk away from
them, their faces red, obviously embarrassed at interrupting such a tender and
intimate moment. Sometimes Tressa felt their guilt so
deeply,
even she blushed when Leo would release her. As if their public display of
affection was something to be kept behind closed doors.

Leo stood up, brushing the dirt off of
his jerkin. “You have only two weeks left, Tressa.”

Her heart pounded. Two weeks wasn’t
enough. There would never be adequate time to prepare for this challenge.

“There’s something else I haven’t
told you.” Leo hesitated, scratching his goatee.

Tressa sat up, resting her elbows on
her knees. She didn’t bother with the dirt, knowing she’d only be covered in it
again soon enough. “What? Am I to defeat the dragon in battle too?”

Leo’s fingers stayed on his face,
rubbing the stubby hairs methodically in circles. “Sometimes men lose their lives
trying to join the Black Guard. That wasn’t the case when
Stacia’s
mother ruled. She insisted on fair fights. Stacia, however, prefers to be
surrounded by cutthroats and cheaters. These men are not only
soldiers,
they are murderers in her name. She not only
tolerates it, she encourages it.”

“I wish I could say I was surprised.”
Tressa rubbed her hands together. The blisters stung. She didn’t ignore it.
Instead, she internalized the pain, using it to fuel her fire for revenge. She
flexed her arm just to remind herself how far she’d come. One-armed pushups
were easy now. She could carry more and more at the inn. Leo had warned her
against showing off. Drawing attention to herself and her strength was the
opposite of what they were trying to accomplish.

“Are you prepared to kill?”

“Yes.” She said it without hesitation
or fear. She’d seen how easily they’d taken Connor away from her. They deserved
what they had coming.

Leo held up his sword, motioning her
to rise. Tressa stood, shook out her legs and fell into a ready stance, her
sword pointed at an angle. He moved around her in a circle. Tressa didn’t take
her eyes off of him. She was cautious, knowing he was about to teach her a
lesson. She’d learned to judge him quickly and his disguises no longer fooled
her as they did others. He’d performed in the inn many times for the same men.
It was always a different show and no one was the wiser that the same man stood
in front of them night after night.

“Death is a finality you can never
take back. If you make a mistake, your life ends. If your opponent makes a
mistake, you have to choose whether to let him live to see another battle. You
can also be the angel of mercy, taking a man’s life after he’s been injured so
badly he can never recover.” Leo struck her sword. Tressa parried. “The moment
you point your sword at a man’s throat or chest and know that you are the only
thing standing between life and death can be humbling. It can also be
empowering. That is when you learn who you are.”

“I know who I am.” Tressa slashed at
Leo.

Leo moved in closer, forcing her arm
toward her trunk, her sword at a peculiar angle. She couldn’t fight him off
without hurting him. Still, Leo didn’t falter. His attacks became more
frenzied. Tressa stumbled backward, lost her footing, and fell to the ground.
One leg twisted under her, throbbing.

Leo lunged down, his sword stabbing
relentlessly. Tressa fought back, trying to focus on the sharp tip of his blade
and not the pain or discomfort of being sprawled awkwardly on the rocky ground.

“I get the point,” she huffed between
thrusts of her sword.

“No you don’t,” Leo growled. “Until
you know what it’s like to have your life threatened. Until you have to decide
it’s his life or yours. Until you have the moment where you tire of the game,
find a weakness in your opponent, and end the fight forever. Until that moment
you have no idea what it’s like to stare death in the face, Tressa.”

“How can I know until I’m there? I
know you won’t kill me.” She fought to keep her voice low. It was imperative no
one hear their conversations. Despite seeing them fight, for appearances sake
they were both dressed as men, Tressa knew no one could discover their reasons.

“You can’t.” Leo pressed forward until
she was flat on her back, his sword at her throat.

A trickle of blood dripped down the
side of her neck. “You can stop now,” she gasped.

“How do you know I’m not here at the
queen’s behest? How do you know she didn’t have you followed? How do you know this
all wasn’t an elaborate set up, designed to test you. To see how far you’ll
go?”

He pushed his sword in a little
harder, until Tressa could feel her skin slowly ripping apart, tearing into
tiny shreds.

“Leo,” she pleaded. She looked into
his eyes. The gentleness she’d grown to love had turned to darkness. There was
no more compassion. No understanding. Only the hardened gaze of a man who’d
killed before and was considering doing so again.

She took one deep breath before he
thrust his sword down all the way.

Leo’s sword wavered back and forth, stuck into the
ground only a breath away from Tressa’s throat.

“Give me your hand.”

His fingers wiggled in front of
Tressa’s face. She lay on the dirt, refusing to touch him. Light danced in Leo’s
eyes, kicking the darkness away.

“Um…” Tressa’s hand went to her neck
instead. Warm blood pooled where he’d scratched her with the tip of his sword,
only moments before she honestly believed he’d kill her.

Leo stood up straight, his hands on
his hips. “Well, if you were in the arena, you would have died. I was only
trying to illustrate a point.”

“You did it quite well. I lost faith
in you.”

Leo turned around, pacing. “I’m sorry
for that. It’s a good lesson for you to learn. You can’t trust anyone. Not your
closest friend. Not your lover. No one. For the right price, anyone will betray
you.”

“Is that why you’re always alone?”
Tressa sat up, feeling like herself again. Willing to give the trust Leo had
stolen.

“I’m with you now.”

“But no one else. I’m new to your
life.”

Leo waved a hand in the air. “My life
is that of a traveler. I can’t have a home or a family. It’s irrelevant.”

“Aren’t you afraid of dying alone?”
Tressa’s hand instinctively went to her stomach. She thought of the babies she
couldn’t conceive. The future she’d always thought would leave her alone. Now
that she had reunited with Bastian, there was hope for the future. Maybe she
wouldn’t be alone forever.

“I will die when I die. I can’t
control it. I also can’t control who’s with me when it happens. All I hope for
is an honorable death. Not something accidental or useless. I want to die for a
reason.”

Tressa wrapped her arms around Leo
and rested her head on his shoulder. “I will tell your stories when you’re
gone.”

Leo shrugged her off with a laugh.
“The way you fight, you’ll die long before me,
chouchou
.”

Tressa laughed, even though she knew
it was true.
Especially after her performance a few minutes
ago.
She should have fought back. Kneed him in the crotch.
Anything to set herself free.
Instead she accepted her death
sentence without even attempting to battle for her life.

Pathetic. She’d never make it. But
she had no other choice. Going back to Bastian in defeat. No, she wouldn’t make
her sacrifice mean nothing. She’d do what she set out to do. Defeat Stacia.
Avenge Connor. Set her people free. Only then could Bastian fully be hers.

The face of his little daughter
interrupted her thoughts. She tried pushing it away, but Farah’s tears poured
into her dream. She was taking her father away from her.

Snap! Leo stood in front of her, his
fingers together. “Wake up,
chouchou
. Practice is
over.”

“No.” Tressa put a hand on his arm.
“I must keep practicing until I’m ready.”

“You will never be ready for what you
will face.”

“But –”

Leo laid his hand over her mouth.
“Physically, you are ready. You are never ready mentally. Not even after you
make your first kill.”

“It doesn’t get easier?”

“Never.”

The sun had sunk below the buildings,
bathing them in shadows. Night descended too quickly when they were practicing.
“I have to get back to the inn for the evening meal. Ira needs me.”

“I know. I’ll make an appearance
there
tonight as well. What I did to you had to be done, but
it weighs heavy on my heart. A girl like you shouldn’t ever have to face an
enemy like Stacia. You should be at home, with a man and children to love you.”

“I never had a chance at a normal
life. If I ever want to live life my way, it’ll take freedom from tyranny.”

“That’s not a small order,” Leo said
as they walked back to the tavern. He stopped a few paces away from the
bustling people headed out for an evening meal or back to their homes after a
long day of work. “You never did tell me how you planned to stop Stacia once
you joined the Black Guard.”

Tressa looked at her feet. She didn’t
have an answer. That scared her more than fighting for her life in the arena.