Hickville Confessions: A Hickville High Novel (22 page)

Justin arrived at the field house early. Austin was almost always the first one there on game nights and Justin hoped to talk to him without a bunch of people around. He’d tried to corner him all day, but the timing never seemed right. But he was going to do it before the game come hell or high water.

He sat on the bench across from his locker and fished his phone out of his pocket to check out his Facebook page while he waited. He’d tried to plan what he was going to say. Too bad his dad couldn’t get him in to see Dr. O’Malley until Monday. Surely Dr. O would have been able to help him explain away two years of hate?
I’m sorry
just wasn’t enough. He sure as hell hoped he’d come up with something when he opened his mouth.

He’d clicked off the app on his phone when he heard the door to the field house swing open. Austin walked in, followed by Travis. Justin stood and walked toward them.

Austin dropped his backpack and immediately took a defensive stance—feet wide apart, elbows slightly bent, hands fisted. “You’re here early, Hayes.”

Justin took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you.” He looked at Travis. “And really, what I have to say goes for you too.”

Austin picked up his pack but didn’t take his eyes off Justin. “Okay. Talk.”

“Shit. I don’t know where to start.”

Travis stepped toward him. “Is this about your little freakout?”

Justin hated the sarcasm in Travis’s voice, but he guessed he deserved it. “Yeah. Kind of.” He sat on a bench. “Look. I—ah—have come to realize a few things—many things, actually. One of those is that I’ve been wrong.”

Travis shook his head. “About frickin’ time.”

Austin nodded. “You’ve been wrong about a lot of shit. So just what shit are you talking about?”

“Austin, I hung on to blaming you for the accident, for my messed-up family, for everything… because if I didn’t, then I’d have admit that Chelsea caused the accident and that didn’t seem right. But she did. You were innocent and I made you a victim too. I’m sorry.”

Austin sat across from him. “It sucks. Your sister was my friend and I texted her. Nobody even talked about the dangers of texting back then. We all did it. Dude, wrong place, wrong time.”

He didn’t expect the tears that showed up in his eyes. Damn it. He would not cry. He forced them back and looked at Travis. “My sister killed your sister. I wish I could change that.”

“It happened. We learn to live with it and get on.”

Justin nodded. “I guess my family is a little late with all that. So—I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Austin stuck his hand out. “Thanks, man.”

Travis shook his hand too. “Let’s just kick ass on the field, huh?’

Relief flooded Justin. “Yeah.”

They changed and stretched for the game. It was going to be a great night. Justin was totally pumped.

It only got better when they stepped onto the field. He looked at the student stands on the home side and there she was. His awesome girlfriend was yelling her head off as the players raced down the field. It didn’t matter if his dad blew off the game tonight, because she was there for him.

As the team walked to the benches on the sideline, he heard his name called. Ryan hung on the fence that divided the players from the fans. “Justin! Look!”

His gaze followed the direction of her pointing finger. Holy shit. His dad was making his way down the stands toward Ryan… and holding his hand was
his mom
.

Justin reached the fence about the same time as his parents. He climbed up the chain links and hugged them over the top. “You’re here. How?”

His mom brushed his hair from his face. “I wanted to tell you, but dad insisted on it being a surprise. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No! Are you home for good?”

His mom flashed a nervous glance toward his dad. “Alan?”

His dad nodded. “If this weekend goes well, yes. And I can’t see why it wouldn’t.”

Justin hugged his parents again and then gave Ryan a quick kiss.

“Hayes! You gonna play?” Coach Peterson tipped up the brim of his ball cap. “Pleased to see you, Mrs. Hayes. Mr. Hayes.”

Justin ran toward the bench feeling totally and completely invincible.

The game was slated to be the battle of the season. The Panthers were undefeated and had trounced the Hillsdale Hornets last year. The Hornets were playing like pros. McCoy to Barnes—touchdown. McCoy to Hayes—touchdown. McCoy scrambled and ran it in—touchdown. By halftime they were ahead twenty-one to zero.

The energy in the locker room buzzed. They could hardly contain themselves while Coach gave his
here’s what to expect in the second half
speech. This was what it was all about. They were a machine and they played like they could read each other’s thoughts.

The first play of the second half, the Panthers ran it in and nailed the field goal. It was cool, they could handle it. Justin wasn’t worried as they huddled up—they were on fire.

And then it happened.

He could see the scoreboard behind the guys in the huddle and his mind flashed to Chelsea’s painting—the one in the gallery. He felt his heart speed up along with his breathing. The freeze was coming. His brain shifted to the drawings in his mom’s lap.
No. Not now. Not tonight.
He tried to refocus. Austin called a play, but all he could hear was his pulse drumming in his head. He focused on Austin but couldn’t get his brain to engage. It was like the sound had been turned off.

The whistle blew and the sound of the crowd filled his ears. The ref announced a delay of game. Austin shook him. “Dude, what happened?”

“I’m good now.” What else was he going to say?
I flipped out?

They called a time-out and ran to the sideline. Coach yelled at the group. “Delay of game? What the hell happened?”

“Hayes freaked,” one of the guys offered.

Coach looked at him. “That right?”

Austin stepped in. “He’s cool. Let’s just finish this thing.”

Coach gave the go-ahead and they ran back to the field.

The team lost momentum in the third quarter, but by the fourth they were back on their feet. They beat the Panthers twenty-eight to ten. It was the best game Justin had played—and the worst.

He’d frickin’ frozen out there.

The guys celebrated in the locker room, but the energy had been zapped from him. He stood in front of his locker and stripped off his jersey.

Coach appeared at the end of the row of lockers. “Hayes. Before you leave, in my office.”

“Yes, sir.” After he showered and dressed, he made his way to Coach’s office. He passed Austin leaving. “Hey man, thanks for taking up for me.”

Austin nodded and fist bumped him.

Justin stepped into Coach’s office. “Sir?”

“McCoy said you froze. Is that right?” Coach stood with his arms crossed and his jaw clenched. When he spoke, he looked like he had to force the words from his mouth.

“Yes, sir.”

“Is it going to happen again?”

“I don’t know, sir.” Shit. He had to tell him. “My dad says it’s sort of a PTSD thing. I’m working on it.”

“Anything I can do?” Coach’s arms remained crossed, but he no longer looked like he was spitting words out of his mouth.

“No, sir. I just want to play ball.”

Coach nodded. “I got no reason not to let you. I’ll see you Monday.”

Justin couldn’t wait to get out of the locker room. The girlfriends tended to wait outside the field house door. There was something about having a girl waiting that made you feel like a star.

Tonight it was his turn. He stepped from the field house with a grin on his face.

*

Ryan stood with Kelsey, Mackenzie, Austin, and Travis. “Great game!”

Travis nodded. “Yeah, it was. Let’s head to Pepperonis.”

Ryan looked across to the field house where Justin’s parents stood. She’d planned to go with Justin, but now she wasn’t sure. He probably wanted to spend the evening with his parents. She checked her phone again. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

Kelsey sighed. “Well, we can’t wait all night. Text him.”

Ryan looked at her phone. What should she say?
Are you taking me to Pepperonis? Do we have a date?
She didn’t want to pressure him. It was right for him to be with his parents. She settled for
Hey there!

She’d barely fired off the text when he exited the field house. He had to have been the last one to leave. He looked around, but he didn’t see her. She started toward him, but his parents beat her to him so she hung back and let them have their time. He had a boyish grin on his face, like he’d just received the best Christmas gift ever. He hugged his mom and kept his arm around her as though he was afraid to let go.

Then he saw her. “Ryan!” She walked to them. “Mom, have you met my girlfriend?”

His mom nodded. “We met before the game.”

Ryan wanted to ask what the plans were, but the timing was all wrong. On the other hand, her sisters were waiting.

Kelsey called, “Ryan! What’s the deal? Are you coming with us or not?”

She cringed. “Sorry.” She really didn’t need her sister pressuring her right now.

Justin released his mom and took Ryan’s hand, saying to his parents, “We were going to Pepperonis. Do you want to come?”

His mom shook her head. “No. Go have fun. You earned it.”

“But it’s your first night home.”

His dad wrapped his arms around his mom’s waist. “Yes, it is. So go. Have fun. Don’t stay out all night.”

“Jesus, Dad.” He shook his head and gave his mom a peck on the cheek. “Later.”

Ryan smiled at his parents and pretended she hadn’t caught his dad’s meaning. “It was nice to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Mrs. Quinn leaned against her husband’s chest and waggled her fingers.

Justin pulled her away from his parents and toward the group waiting. “Awkward.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“Yeah, how often do you want to think about your parents bumping pubes?”

She smacked his arm. “Yuck. Not a visual I want.”

“Exactly.” He tugged her closer and planted a kiss on her in mid-step.

Kelsey took charge when they joined the others. “We’re going to be the last ones there. Who’s riding with us?”

Ryan looked at Justin. “Not us.”

Mackenzie looked around as though she were looking for somebody. Travis kept his eyes focused on Mackenzie and spoke up. “Come on, Short Stuff, you can ride with me.”

Well, isn’t that interesting?

Mackenzie glanced up at him and gave a shrug. “Okay.”

Looks like a one-sided attraction.

Kelsey grabbed Austin’s hand. “Let’s
go
already.”

Justin pulled Ryan in the opposite direction. “We’re parked this way.” By the time they reached the parking lot, it was almost empty.

A cool breeze kicked up and made Ryan shiver. “Brr. Cold front’s here.”

“I thought you northern girls were immune.”

“Not this one.” She hugged herself, trying to ward off the chill.

Justin shrugged out of his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Better?”

“Much.” When they reached his truck she slid her arms around his waist and he hugged her to his chest. “This is even better.” She went up on her toes and kissed him.

It was slow, but the heat that accompanied it was instant. She pressed her breasts to his chest and he cupped her rear, pulling her tight against him. They were alone. They could climb into his truck. This could be the moment. She wanted it to be the moment. Or did she?

No. Not in the back of a truck. It had to be perfect.

She pulled from the kiss. “Pizza?”

He smiled, but she could see the same longing in his eyes that she felt in her soul. “Yeah. Pizza.”

When they climbed in the truck, she reached across the console for his hand, but he pulled it away like she’d burned him.

He gave her a sideways grin. “Give me a minute.”

She faced her window and stared at the empty parking lot. Awkwardness aside, it was pretty cool that she turned him on so much he couldn’t touch her.

He sighed and started the engine. “Okay, we need to talk about really stupid stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Anything to take my mind off kissing you… and things.”

“Okay, well, my favorite Popsicle flavor is grape.”

“Not helping.”

“Hmm. I like to blow bubbles with my gum.”

“Still not helping. You’re killing me here.”

“You come up with something.”

“I want to, but all I can think about is the color of your panties or whether you have a front clasp or back.”

“Pink and a pink front clasp.”

“Really. You had to go there. I want to crawl across this console and see for myself.”

She grabbed his hand. “Justin, I don’t want to wait. But I don’t want our first time to be in the backseat.”

He squeezed her hand. “Me either.”

She stretched across the console and kissed him, hard. He pulled away. “Pizza.”

Ryan fell back into her seat and did up her seatbelt to keep herself there. “We’d better go. Now.”

They drove to Pepperonis in silence, but Ryan was okay with it. They both needed time to check their emotions. She’d never felt anything close to what she felt with Justin. She was in love—the real thing. It wasn’t supposed to happen to a seventeen-year-old. She hadn’t planned on loving anybody until she was in college, and here she was a junior in high school and she was madly, truly, out of her mind in love with Justin Hayes.

And that scared the ever-living snot out of her.

At the restaurant they made their way to the back room that was reserved for the students. They met Kelsey coming back from the buffet. “About time. What took you so long?”

Ryan just looked at her and blushed.

“Whatever. We saved you a seat.” She led her toward the table in the back of the room. Hannah and Shelby waved from the end of a long row of tables. Shelby shouted over the cacophony of chatter, “It’s about time y’all showed up.”

Ryan’s insides warmed.
Normal people, normal friends.
She set her purse down at the place Kelsey had saved and followed Justin to the buffet. This was the way it was supposed to be.