Hickory Smoked Homicide (24 page)

“Well, honey, I couldn’t help it. Loren came right on into Aunt Pat’s, determined to speak to Sara again. He’s got a real bee in his bonnet over that portrait. Actually, it’s more of a hornet than a bee. And he wasn’t all that much help, anyway. Honestly, Cherry, I’m getting discouraged. The police don’t seem to be making that many inroads, and we’re running into dead ends, too.”

Cherry said, “So tell me what Lover Boy Loren had to say for himself. Maybe there’s a clue mixed up in there somehow.”

Lulu filled her in on their conversation.

“It sounds to me like you found out a few things,” said Cherry. “Pepper, Steffi, and Pansy weren’t visible for at least part of the party.”

“Or maybe,” said Lulu glumly, “they were all reapplying their makeup in the ladies’ room. Or out on the porch listening to the band.”

Cherry said, “Or maybe they were killing Dee Dee in the parking deck! We just don’t know . . . that’s the whole point of an investigation, Lulu!”

Lulu perked up a little bit. “You’re right. Let’s work through it a little. So we’ve got Pepper who’s looking suspicious—or is she? I’m wondering if Loren is angry enough right now to blame Pepper for everything he can think of. If she’s locked up in jail, then she’s out of his hair for sure, after all.”

“Maybe,” said Cherry. “But what about the others? Pansy sure didn’t mention leaving the fund-raiser, and neither did Steffi. It’s something to follow up on, anyway. And how about the information that Pansy gave you? She didn’t see Pepper for part of the time, either! So maybe Pepper was the one who sneaked off. Maybe Dee Dee saw Pepper do something really suspicious at Tristan’s party—something that the police could’ve used as evidence. And then Dee Dee tried to blackmail her and she killed her.”

“It looks like Pepper might be the next person we should talk to,” said Lulu thoughtfully. “Any ideas on how to do that in a natural way?”

“Bunko,” said Cherry decidedly. “We’ll invite some suspects, and I’ll tell them that we’re going to have a Bunko night to unwind a little bit. Everyone can bring something to snack on.”

“I’m liking this idea already!” said Lulu, cheering up a little.

“And then we can play the game. Pepper lives right next door, you know, so I can maybe convince her to stay a little longer.” Cherry thought a second. “I know! I’ll ask her to stay and help me clean up.”

Lulu laughed. “She’ll
love
that!”

“It’s the kind of flakiness that she’d expect of me, though. She’s already fussing about my plastic flowers, but I swear you can’t tell. The only reason Pepper knows they’re fake is because I told her.” Cherry looked miffed.

“As far as the Bunko goes, though—won’t it take a while to set it up? To invite folks and get them to come over?”

“No, because I’m supposed to have it tonight—it’s my month, anyway. But out of the twelve girls we’re supposed to have, a whole bunch can’t come because of some golf tournament or something. So it’s perfect! I was going to have to call around for subs, anyway.” She lit up. “I’ll invite Colleen, Pansy, Steffi, and Marlowe, too! Let’s have
all
the suspects there, then we can see what happens. Murder at Bunko!” Cherry, thought Lulu, looked way too enthusiastic by the prospect.

“Except for Loren,” said Lulu.

“Well, but we couldn’t invite
Loren
. Men don’t come to Bunko. Well, maybe some do, but not in our Bunko club. Husbands never sub. And he’d hate it and hate us and would be upset at Pepper being there, and he’d storm out, or she would, and then we wouldn’t be able to talk to
anybody
.” Cherry looked dismayed.

“No, Loren doesn’t need to be invited,” said Lulu. “Okay. So call them up and see who can come.”

They could
all
come. “That’s because,” said Cherry smugly, “Bunko is the most fun game ever. And they can all use some fun right now.”

Chapter 19

Lulu had played Bunko with the Graces in the past, but then it got too hard to work her evenings at Aunt Pat’s around them, so she decided to sub from time to time instead. Every time she played, though, she felt like she was missing out by not being a regular part of the group. This group was especially raucous, but they definitely knew how to have a good time. This group was even
louder
than usual. Wine was poured and drunk, everyone brought in a decadent appetizer or dessert, and each person put five dollars into the kitty to serve as a prize for the winner.

Cherry had set up three tables, and four people sat at each table. Lulu’s partner for the night was Steffi, and Pepper was paired with Cherry. Steffi looked excited. “I’m glad to get out,” she said to Lulu. “Everything I’ve done lately has been either planning a funeral or answering police questions or going through Mother’s things. It’s great to do something
fun.
” She flushed suddenly and said, “Of course, the Aunt Pat’s fund-raiser was fun, but that’s been the only thing.”

Lulu looked sad. “Actually, the fund-raiser
wasn’t
much fun. It was
supposed
to be. But the way the evening ended really put a damper on the festivities. Poor Dee Dee couldn’t help it, of course.”

Colleen joined them. She had on a very loud jumpsuit sort of outfit that Lulu guessed was stylish, but it looked horrible on her. Her face was garishly made up, too, and made quite a contrast to her daughter’s. Pansy looked pretty in a much more natural way. Colleen said, “Did you find some new clothes, Lulu? You and Cherry really looked so determined to go shopping the last time I talked to you.” She stared at Lulu’s faded floral dress.

Oops. Lulu had temporarily forgotten that she was supposed to be more of a fashion plate. “You know,” she said, thinking quickly, “Derrick had told me . . . you know young Derrick, don’t you? Sara’s nephew? Derrick told me that I needed to think about Aunt Pat’s branding.” Colleen tilted her head to one side like she didn’t totally understand where Lulu was coming from. “I mean, people think of Lulu as a sort of frumpy old lady with a fondness for floral dresses. Maybe I’d mess up the brand identification if I went shopping.”

Colleen looked doubtful. “I don’t think anybody thinks of you as
frumpy
, Lulu. Just maybe not all that daring with your wardrobe. But at least you could wear your new clothes when you weren’t at work. It would give you a whole new lease on life.”

Steffi said, a little roughly, “I think Lulu looks great. She’s always neat and tidy and friendly and comfortable-looking. Lulu, you shouldn’t change the way you look for anybody.”

Lulu remembered how hard Tristan had been on her daughter. She could imagine that she’d probably tried to force her into wearing clothes that she really wasn’t comfortable in, simply because they were stylish.

Evelyn, one of the Graceland docents that made up the Aunt Pat’s group of regulars the Graces, walked over. “Y’all,” she said, delicately sniffing the air, “I hate to bring this up, but does something smell funny to you?”

Lulu frowned. “Something’s burning. Cherry, do you have something cooking, hon?”

“Oh snap!” said Cherry, putting a hand to her head. “The cheese dip!”

It had, thought Lulu, probably
been
cheese dip at some point in the cooking process. Before it had morphed into a charred lump in the pot, that is. It didn’t help matters that the rubber spatula had been left by the careless Cherry in the pot. It had melted, and the smell of burning plastic was getting pretty strong.

“Too bad,” drawled Evelyn, waving a bejeweled hand languidly. “I was sort of in the mood for some cheese dip. Luckily, Pepper brought some bourbon balls that I think I’m going to start indulging myself with.”

Lulu hurried over to the sink and started washing her hands. “I’ll help you make something else, Cherry. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

“No,” said Cherry quickly. “Everybody out of the kitchen. Shoo! Shoo! You too, Lulu! I’ll come up with a substitute dish real quick. Y’all have some wine, and I’ll be back in a jiff.” Lulu was the last to leave the kitchen, and Cherry caught her by the arm real quick. “You need to be doing some investigating, Lulu! Don’t worry with the food.” Lulu opened her mouth to protest, and Cherry said, “I know it goes against your nature, but seriously . . . leave the food to me. I’ll be out in a jiff, and we’ll get started with the game.”

So Lulu joined the raucous group in Cherry’s den. Peggy Sue was just saying, in a loud voice, “Then my mother told the butcher he could call me up
anytime
. And gave him
my
phone number. Can you believe it? She’s still trying to set me up on dates, and I’ve been married to Grayson for thirty years! She’s gone plumb senile.”

“Was the butcher cute at least?” asked Evelyn.

“Not likely! That’s another of Mama’s problems—cataracts. So she’s trying to set me up with men who are in their dotage half the time. It’s not like she’s giving my number to some muscle-bound Brad Pitt look-alikes.”

“In which case it would be
okay
, Peggy Sue?” asked a scandalized Jeanne.

“Maybe,” said Peggy Sue, batting her lashes.

Cherry’s husband, Johnny, a grim-looking bald man with a general air of resignation, appeared at the bottom of the stairs, eyed the group balefully, and headed out the front door.

“Guess we’re too scary for old Johnny,” said Peggy Sue with a shrug. “Another excuse for him to stay out too late with Eric, playing poker. He thinks that’s a
real
game. Except they drink too much and pass out with their faces on the poker table.”

Cherry pushed through the kitchen door in a rush. “Okay!” she said. “I’ve got some more cheese dip made up, y’all.” Lulu watched in horror as the dip container bobbled, tilted, and smashed on the hardwood floor in front of them all. Really, thought Lulu, it was almost in slow motion.

They all stared at the pile of yellow mush on the floor. “Cherry, honey,” said Peggy Sue in a serious voice, “have you been drinking?”

“Not as much as I’m about to,” said Cherry, with her hands on her hips, staring at the cheese-dip disaster grimly.

“Here’s a novel idea,” said Evelyn in a languid voice. “Why don’t we have the actual
cook
make the cheese dip?”

Everyone looked hopefully over at Lulu, who was ready to don an apron and get started cooking. “Don’t y’all ever go to parties?” asked Cherry irritably. “Guests don’t
cook
. The hostess does. I promised cheese dip, and everybody is going to
get
some cheese dip. And leave that mess alone. . . . It’ll keep until I get some paper towels out.”

The wine flowed and people snacked on the goodies everyone brought. Really, thought Lulu, there was plenty of food. They didn’t
have
to have a hot dish. But Cherry had seemed absolutely determined. So Lulu decided to listen in on the conversations and see if any good gossip churned up in the process.

Pepper was asking Marlowe, “You mean to say that it was all a fake? That Tristan didn’t really have a lot of money?”

“Well, at one point she sure did. But I guess if a person spends money like it’s going out of style and throws elaborate parties and has a huge wardrobe and a designer-shoe collection, then the money tends to disappear pretty fast,” said Marlowe dryly.

“That’s why Lulu had the fund-raiser,” said Steffi. Her shoulders slumped a little. “I had a feeling that people were going to wonder why I needed money—especially since Mother had been so showy.”

Pepper said quickly, “No, I bet they don’t. People also realize you want to go to college and that you had to bury your mama and funerals aren’t cheap. Besides, who cares what people think? They were all happy to go to Aunt Pat’s and support you—and have a fantastic buffet.”

Lulu said, “I’m sorry that the evening turned out the way it did.”

“Lulu, it was a wonderful night—up until the very end,” said Marlowe. “You can’t help the way that it ended. And you did such a great thing for Steffi . . . and me, too. That money is a great head start for Steffi’s college education. Especially since Tristan didn’t provide Steffi with any help.” Marlowe’s face was brooding.

The doorbell rang, and the women looked puzzled. “We’ve got our whole group here, don’t we?” asked Peggy Sue. She walked to the door and opened it.

It was Loren, who quickly approached Pepper. “Thanks for chucking all my clothes out in the yard, Pepper,” said Loren in a bitterly sarcastic voice. “Some of those clothes I wear to work, you know. I can’t afford to go buy a whole slew of new clothes because you ruined them.”

“The weather has been perfectly clear,” said Pepper coolly, but Lulu saw the anger in her eyes. “Nothing was going to happen to those clothes.”

“And you changed the locks?” Loren sounded peeved. “There’s stuff that I still need to get out.”

“When I’m
over
there,” snapped Pepper. “I didn’t want you sneaking over to the house and coming in while I’m at work or something. And taking
my
stuff, instead of your own. Besides, what on earth are you doing over here?”

“I saw all the cars over here and figured you might be here or I’d ask Cherry if she’d seen you.” Loren looked smug at his accurate detective work. This, thought Lulu, was starting to be a party to rival her fund-raiser.

But then Cherry, flustered and sweating from her hot kitchen, pushed her way through the kitchen door crossly. She paused to take in the scene in front of her—the cheese dip still on the floor, Loren looking like he was about to pick a fight.... Then she looked down at the bowl she was holding with her third attempt to make a relatively easy appetizer. Lulu leaned over to see, and apparently Cherry had run out of Velveeta finally and made something out of shredded cheese . . . which, as watery as the dish looked, seemed to be cheese soup.

Cherry carefully put the watery cheese dip down on a table and put her hands on her hips. “I’ve had enough tonight. Loren, you picked the wrong time to come in, buddy. This is a
ladies
night, and unless you’re willing to clean up the messes I’ve made or go to the store for more processed cheese, you need to leave. I don’t know how your mama could have forgotten to tell you, but you’re not supposed to crash a party. Since this is the second party I’ve seen you do that to, you’re uneducated about it. But I promise that’s the rule—if you’re not invited, you don’t go.”