Hero: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (27 page)

Chapter Four

Bella

I sank back against the door I’d just closed and fought the scream that was trying to escape.

Damn it all!

Emotions stabbed through me, a tidal wave I couldn’t control as the day-from-hell crashed over me again and again.

The anger was obvious, though where it was directed I couldn’t have said right now - Seth, my father, life itself…they all seemed to be vying for my attention at the moment. But under that were elements of disappointment, frustration and some deep sadness I didn’t even understand. That only made the whole thing worse, and now that the asshole was gone I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, everything too much to process as I tried to catch my breath.

But worst of all…my body was still vibrating just from that one, brief touch. The words he’d said. The look on his face.

God-damn sexy, arrogant bastard.

Seeing Seth standing opposite me in the drawing room earlier had been enough of a shock, but what had shaken me to my core was the
difference.

Three years ago, he’d been a boy with skills no boy should have - coupled with a matching badass attitude and sexy-as-hell smile that lit up the mischief in his eyes.

Now…he was a man. In every sense of the word.

The body that had been so much more impressive than any of the other idiot jocks had filled out beyond belief - it was harder, thicker and he carried it with an unconscious, confident grace that I could only describe as deadly. When I’d heard later at dinner that he was in the SEALs, it had fit in a way that made me shudder. That was what emanated from him now - a dangerous intensity and fierce control that scared me more than his wild behavior ever had.

Scared me, and set my blood on fire.

Fuck.

I could still feel the lust coiling through me, despite everything that had happened between us, the rage and frustration I lived with for so long - none of it prevented his gaze from setting my pulse beating hard within me.

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair, trying not to imagine what else he might have learned in three long years, trying not to picture how easily a body like that could throw me around or pin me down to make me writhe helplessly under him. It was hopeless, but at least his callous words had given me enough to spark the embers of my fury.

Once I’d finally stopped the galloping of my heart I walked back over to the small desk at the other end of the room, the bright laptop screen looking back at me. My gaze flickered across the information I’d been reading about the MCAT exam and I switched it off, feeling defeated.

I flopped down on the large bed that occupied the middle of the room, white covers with only a little blue embroidery surrounding me - sophisticated, unassuming, and so far removed from another bed I’d never forgotten, sitting in a hotel room a few miles from here. The nature of the bed didn’t change the dangerous electricity still in the air where he’d caught me, pinned me with that gaze and touched my body with an ownership that was as brazen as if he’d never left it.

My mind flickered back to his lips hovering above mine, to the kiss it could have been, and I groaned inwardly. It was a good thing he hadn’t tried to take it further, because I was in no position to stop him - and I had no idea whether I would have melted against that hard, powerful chest or slapped him silly.

Yes you do.

That small part of me that wouldn’t let up whispered the answer, but I ignored it.

It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be possible for him to cause that in me, after all this time. I had spent so long getting over the whole ridiculous fling, so much time angry and frustrated - with myself as much as him - I shouldn’t just fall back into it so easily.

My body didn’t seem to care. One touch and I was craving it all again - a crazy desire that was all the more wrong now.

Idiot - he’s your stepbrother to be, remember?

But try as I might, I wasn’t sure I could picture him that way. I knew him too well, too intimately for that. I wasn’t sure I could ever look at him and not see that intense, passionate time.

Or all the pain and resentment after he’d disappeared without a word.

I sighed, the confusion in the wake of his seductive words coming back to me again, resenting the thoughts and feelings they’d brought right to the surface again.

“Is that what you’re telling yourself, baby? Because I remember it differently…”

And then those tempting, dangerous images that had washed over deep longings I’d thought forgotten.

My biggest mistake.

How angry he’d been at that - sure, it came out in a controlled arrogance, but I’d seen the reason he’d gone on the offensive, those deadly skills engaged to deny my words.

The words that hadn’t even been meant that way. I’d never begrudged myself that explosive night we’d had together, the raging desire I’d felt for him or the deep satisfaction we’d taken from each other. Try as I might, I’d never been able to regret that time together.

My mistake had been believing it meant something more.

My lips twisted into a wry smile with the familiar self-deprecation. I’d seen girl after girl fall for his bedroom skills, rolled my eyes at the pathetic way they ran after him for more and dismissed them as fools when they cried to each other, heartbroken over a one night stand with a boy who’d never stuck with a girl for more than a few days.

That will never be me, I’m better than that - I’d know what I was getting into, and I wouldn’t stick around waiting on some idiot, either.

Turns out, in that infinite wisdom born of inexperience, I didn’t have a clue.

Despite everything I’d told myself, despite knowing better in every possible way, somehow I’d managed to convince myself I was special. Different. Like every dime-a-dozen girl at our school.

Sure, he went after me with almost single-minded determination. Teased and provoked and pursued longer than I would ever have bet on. Enough that by the time I finally decided it would be a good way to give up my virginity, in one spectacular, crazy night, there was a spark of belief that it meant something more. Even if I’d never wanted it to. And after that night…the spark exploded. Set the rest of my body on fire.

Until his disappearance burned me out - completely.

Belle.

The sardonic irony of that name tonight replaced the sweet caress it had always been. The final nail in the coffin.

Anger surged in me again for a moment at the thought of the laugh he must have had with it - a whole year spent in pursuit, and he’d finally reduced the off-limits top-of-the-class girl to burning desire and the pathetic belief that she meant something different.

It might have been my own fault, but as far as I was concerned, he could burn in hell for it too.

Well, I hope my fall was everything you were looking for, asshole - because I’m done.

My traitorous body be damned - stepbrother or no, I’m staying as far away as I can manage.

Chapter Five

Bella

“
Maternal influence?!”

Kaylee looked at me in horror and I grumbled appreciatively, already feeling better. The sexy blond beauty had always been good for sympathy, and she loved hearing a drama-filled story.

“That was an asshole thing to say - I hope you called him on it.”

There was a pause for a moment, then she glanced sidelong towards me.

“Of course you didn’t.”

I thought the dramatic sigh was uncalled for and swung around onto my front, resting my head on hands folded under my cheek with my face turned towards her.

“He’s my father—”

“And of course that makes him immune from wrong-doing.”

Kaylee’s smile took some of the sting out of it, but I still bristled, taking a long sip of the iced coffee resting on the floor by the sun-lounger I was lying on, poking the ice cream still floating decadently within it with the straw. We were out around the back of the house, lying by the pool in one of our favorite summer pastimes.

“Oddly enough, I had other things on my mind just then.”

Kaylee murmured her acceptance and waved me onward with the story again.

“So, what’s she like - your new step-mother?”

My thoughts had drifted, looking out over the endless waves of ocean that the deck faced. This part of the Californian coast was beautiful and as the sun beat down above us, I could smell the salt-air from here. It was a beautiful day.

The sort of thing I’d been looking forward to this summer, before yesterday had thrown me to chaos.

“Hmm? Oh, she seems alright.”

“Really? Well…that’s good.”

I almost laughed at the hint of disappointment Kaylee didn’t quite hide. She’d been enjoying my complaint laden haranguing as much as I had. I raised an eyebrow at her and smiled.

“Not quite the evil step-mother you were hoping for?”

She gave me a quick punch on the shoulder and then sat up, stretching and reaching for more suncream.

“Nah, you know I wouldn’t wish that on you.”

I eyed her and then rolled back onto my back, not liking the strain on my neck from trying to follow her movements.

“The new stepbrother on the other hand…”

She gasped and turned to me again, suncream forgotten.

“She’s got a
son
too?! You didn’t tell me that!”

I laughed at the excitement in her expression, but couldn’t blame her - this was probably one of the few interesting updates on my life I’d ever given her. Considering that tales of academic work, medical school and science problems bored her to tears.

I hadn’t been entirely sure I was going to mention Seth, but not mentioning him would have just raised eventual questions, and anyway - best way to get over this whole thing seemed to be to acknowledge that he was there and refuse anything more than that. Despite my best effort, my body sparked again at the thought of him, and my memory of last night still seemed able to make my blood pulse, but I pushed that away -
hard.

“Well, he’s an arrogant son of a bitch, so I wasn’t sure I wanted to.”

That only sparked her interest, as I’d known it would, and I sighed inwardly.

“Cursing? From the calm, collected Bella? This requires an explanation!”

Then she giggled and interrupted herself with a darting glance.

“You know you just called your step-mom a bitch, right?”

I snorted and shook my head. She was right - I wasn’t so good with bad language. It was something that only really seemed to come to the fore around Seth…

“Ah, there’s not much to say, Kay-Kay. He’s a Navy SEAL with a bad mouth and the arrogance to match. Drives me up the wall.”

“
Really?
A Navy SEAL?”

The light in her bright blue eyes stirred me a little but I just shrugged.

“You should give him a chance, Bella - you only met him last night. Maybe he was as pissed off being there as you were. And he has to have something in him if he’s in the elite forces.”

He had something alright.

And I had no doubt she was right about him being pissed off at the whole situation. Didn’t change anything.

“Nah - he was in school with me. He’s a no-good asshole and he spent the night needling and provoking me. I’m staying well clear of that.”

She sent me a curious glance that almost had me squirming for a moment, but then shrugged and turned back to the suncream.

“If you say so, babe. Well I’m here anytime you want to cry your heart out over it - but if you ever get to meet some of those SEAL friends of his…just don’t forget about poor old me, heh?”

I gave her a grin and shook my head in mock exasperation, but her attitude lifted my spirits at least. If there was anyone who could reduce an infuriating, provocative bastard to a hot piece of ass, it would be Kaylee.

We were as different as sun and moon, but I think that was part of why we got on so well - she’d always given me a new crazy way of looking at things. And a peek into a more wild side of life that I couldn’t help finding fascinating - even as I remained very glad to look on it safely from afar. Looking back on it, it had been a miracle my Dad had approved of my involvement with her - but then, she’d charmed him as easily as she’d wrapped her own father around her finger.

She’d been one of the best things about this place, ever since that first innocuous day when she’d bounded up to me at school, aged eight.

“Maria said you don’t have a Mommy. Me neither - let’s be friends!”

And like so many times since, I’d looked at her in shock - and then we’d done exactly what she’d suggested. It helped that her father owned a place only a few houses down from ours, so we’d grown up pretty much on the same beaches, doing the same stupid stuff. And although I’m sure her eight-year-old self had had no clue at the time, the words were a fair premonition, as we’d ended up working out a lot of the “what would a mother teach us here” stuff together.

Feeling at least a little better for unloading my grievances to someone who was actually supportive, I decided to shift the conversation before it got dangerous and glanced over at Kaylee again.

“So, what are you doing these days? Did you stick with Creative Writing in the end?”

Kaylee wrinkled her nose and shrugged.

“For a bit, but it wasn’t my thing. I’m on Fine Art now, that seems to suit me better.”

I grinned a little crookedly, trying not to show my amusement, but it was hard. Kaylee had changed majors twice now, and both times it was the same thing - she hadn’t found what she was looking for. Heavens knew what that was - but so far her father hadn’t objected to funding her search. That was Kaylee though - while I’d moved straight from one goal to the next, Kaylee had always proclaimed she liked to ‘flit’. Said there wasn’t much point in life if you couldn’t have a few unexpected diversions along the way. As far as I could tell, though, her life had
only
been unexpected diversions.

“Well, so long as you’ve still got your Dad in your pocket.”

I winked at her, the subject of her ease in getting her way a common joke between us. This time, however, her brow furrowed again.

“Yeah, well, he’s been getting a bit more difficult about that. We’ve had a few arguments about ‘responsibility’ and ‘growing up’ and such nonsense recently.”

“Really?”

I swung around to look at her - this was new. Kaylee just shrugged, wrinkling her nose again in distaste.

“Think he didn’t approve of Jagger.”

Ohh, that.

I raised an eyebrow and gave her a sardonic smile.

“You mean the one you used his money to bail out of jail?”

Amusement laced my voice as she turned to look at me.

“Yeah, him. It was only for weed.”

We both burst out laughing and I shook my head.

“You’re a piece of work sometimes, you know that.”

She gave me a graceful shrug and pulled her hair back behind one shoulder, affecting her best offended attitude.

“He didn’t have to be so uptight about it. It wasn’t like it was anything serious.”

I just rolled my eyes. As I’d never even tried marijuana, I was pretty sure Kaylee kept some of her more wild adventures to herself, but hearing her casual opinions did challenge my beliefs sometimes. It was part of the reason I valued her as a friend - even if it made that friendship frustrating at times.

“Nothing to worry about anyway - I’ll handle it.”

She gave that confident smile and rose from the sun-lounger with a grace I envied. Her tall, long legs and a slender figure only added to the reasons she drew the eye - so long as someone could put up with her unpredictable behavior. From what I’d seen of her love life though, that seemed easier to do than holding her interest. As with academia, Kay ‘flitted’ from man to man. She dove into the sparkling pool to cool off, her long-legged body elegant and tanned in the warm summer sun.

It had made me jealous once, but Kaylee was too good-spirited and fun to mind. Plus, she rarely seemed to notice the effect she had - unless she was actively looking for some fun, anyway.

I watched her swim a couple of laps before she came back towards me, hanging from the edge of the pool and looking up at me with a grin.

“I fucking love summer. So what about you, anyway - how’s that foray into forensics going? Did you tell your Dad yet?”

This time it was my turn to wrinkle my nose, disappointment flashing through me again as I recalled all the things that had gone wrong yesterday.

“Ah, I don’t know…”

Kaylee saw my expression - and immediately interpreted it correctly.

“What happened?”

The knowing look in her eyes unsettled me, but I just shrugged.

“Ahh, Dad wasn’t keen on the idea. You know what he’s like - and he’s probably right. Maybe medicine made more sense after all.”

Kaylee’s bright face scowled instantly and she raised herself out of the water, spraying droplets all over our things.

“Hey!”

I was in swimming gear, but I exclaimed anyway. She just shot me a look and plopped down opposite me, picking up her own mostly melted iced coffee with a suspicious glare.

“I thought you weren’t going to do that anymore, Bella - you promised you’d give your own plans a shot for once.”

Her familiar tirade irritated me, and I sighed, gesturing dismissively - but this time, she didn’t quite seem willing to let it go.

“Seriously, Bella - I just listened to you rant for half an hour straight about how you came home to a new stepmother and brother he never even thought to tell you about! And now we’re talking about your own career, your own life - and you shrug and want to go along with what he says, again! God damn, do you really care so little about what you want?!”

Suddenly angry, I jumped up, glaring back at her.

“Damn it, Kay - I spend a hell of a lot more time thinking about this stuff than you ever have. But his advice has always been good - and he’s had a ton more experience than me. Just because I have a father I can respect doesn’t mean you need to undermine him the whole fucking time.”

The pointed words struck home and I saw the flash of hurt on her face before she masked it a moment later, taking a deep breath as she stood and looked at me with a far-too-calm expression.

“My god, you really are pissed this time, babe.”

The soft, gentle words deflated my anger as quickly as it had sprung up and I just looked at her, feeling suddenly helpless under the weight of that gaze. She came forward instantly, wrapping her arms around me and taking me over to the soft chaise sitting back a little from the pool, the cushions covering the wicker warmed in the sun. We sank onto it together - and then, against all belief, I broke down crying.

Everything else deserting me, I sobbed uncontrollably against her while every twisted thought and emotion that had pounded at me the last couple of days came out in a crazed rush. I was struggling to breathe, but she held on and waited me out while I gasped and sputtered, cursing and muttering nonsense.

Part of me was mortified at the explosive bout of emotion, but I couldn’t help it. It had just all become too much - the shock, the anger and frustration…every overwhelming emotion combined with the struggle to remain calm and in control had affected me far more than I’d thought. This finally gave me an outlet, and everything I’d been forcing myself to ignore, to keep in, surged out of me in a crashing wave as Kaylee rocked me gently.

With her, at least, I had always had a safe haven. Someone to comfort without judgment, a shelter for the emotional storms that had only rarely rocked through my life.

I don’t know how long we sat there like that - it felt like forever, but also just a momentary wrinkle in time. When I finally recovered enough to look at her, I felt exhausted - but some of the weight and twisting discomfort within me had eased. I sighed deeply, still hiccuping a little, and felt myself flush.