Here We Come (Aggie's Inheritance) (80 page)

Again
she
shook
her
head
as
her
fingers
played
with
the
tassel
on
his
pillow.
“I
don’t
regret
telling
them
what
I
did.
I
do
regret
not
thinking
about
it
more
fully
before
I
jumped
in
like
I
did.”

“You
would
make
a
different
decision
today?”

It
took
some
time
for
her
to
answer,
but
at
last
she
said,
“No,
but
at
least
I
might
have
been
prepared
for
the
worst
rather
than
assuming
that
if
Allie
thought
I
could
do
it
then
I
must
be
able
to
manage
it.
She
didn’t
think
I
could
do
much
of
anything
practical.”

“I
doubt
that.”

“It’s
true.
I
can’t
tell
you
how
many
times
I
heard
her
tell
Doug,
‘
Oh
well
,
Aggie
is
the
dreamer
in
the
family
,
you
know.’”

“And
how
does
that
translate
to
not
being
able
to
do
anything?”

She
shrugged.
“It’s
hard
to
explain
unless
you’ve
seen
it.”

“
Ok
,”
he
began,
trying
another
tactic,
“you’re
failing
at
everything.
What
everything?”

“Um,
I
think
the
word
is
pretty
self-explanatory.
Everything.
As
a
daughter,
I
barely
think
to
call
my
parents.
If
they
aren’t
online
late
at
night,
I
never
get
to
talk
to
them
anymore.
As
a
friend,
I
am
basically
a
user
now.
What
can
you
do
to
keep
my
head
above
water?
That’s
all
that
matters
now.
As
a
sister,
well
that’s
irrelevant
now—”
she
choked
back
a
sniffle.

“But
hardly
something
you
can
consider
a
failure.”

“Ok,
how
about
the
fact
that
I
haven’t
visited
the
graves
once?
What
about
the
fact
that
I
have
hardly
talked
to
the
kids
about
her
at
all
because
every
time
I
do
i
t
rips
me
apart?”

“Mibs…”

“No,
you
listen
to
me,”
she
said
, sitting
up
and
leaning
against
the
couch.
He
watched
her
cross
her
arms
and
felt
as
if
they
were
the
first
bricks
in
a
wall
she
was
determined
to
construct
between
them.
“I’m
trying
to
be
honest
here.
This
is
so
hard.
I’m
exhausted
.
I
can’t
seem
to
do
anything
right.
The
kids
are
behind
in
school,
they
are
bickering
almost
non-stop
at
times,
and
Laird…
I think
I’ve
totally
lost
him.”

“Remember
when
Uncle
Zeke
and
I
told
you
that
things
were
too
perfect—that
you
all
weren’t
grieving
right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,
I
think
the
kids
got
on
with
the
process
pretty
well,
but
you
were
still
holding
up
the
fort.
Helping
them
grieve
was
just
one
more
to-do
thing
on
that
unending
list
of
yours.”

“See?
I
can’t
even
grieve
without
blowing
it!”
Her
eyes
widened
and
she
whispered
behind
a
strangled
giggle,
“Did
I
really
just
say
that?”