Here to Stay (7 page)

He shifted and raked a hand through his hair.
“That’s a little too easy, don’t you think?”

“Honestly, Nathan, I don’t know what I
think,” she said finally. One minute they were screaming at each
other and the next she wanted…she wanted…never mind. “I just know
that we can’t go on like this.”

Nathan nodded. “I agree. Now, how do we fix
it?”

“Let’s think on it for a while and we can get
together later and discuss it. How’s that?” She smiled, a little
stiffly.

“All right. You’ll be back in Trinity
tonight?”

“Ye-es,” she answered slowly.

“I’ll call you tonight then.”

“Fine.” Paige took his arm and ushered him
from the deserted courtroom. Her nerves jangled as much from
touching him as from the mounting anxiety.

“One more thing,” he said, pulling her to a
stop.

Oh, Lord. “Yes?”

“About Celine—”

“Really, Nathan, you don’t have to explain.
It’s none of my business. You have every right to date whomever you
choose. It doesn’t matter to me what you do.”
Liar
, her
subconscious chided.

“Nothing happened,” he said flatly.

“What do you mean nothing happened?” Paige
forgot all about convincing herself that she didn’t care. She
wanted to hear this. She
really
wanted to hear this. “That
was Celine’s necklace.”

“It could have happened. She wanted…I asked
her to leave,” he admitted hesitantly.

“Why did you do that?” Paige held her breath.
Every particle of her being wanted to believe that it had something
to do with her.

“I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right. I
couldn’t stop thinking about the way you’d looked at me last night
and what you must have thought,” he said softly.

He looked vulnerable, needy. Paige’s
nurturing instinct surged. A lifelong bond, though deeply buried,
still made her want to protect his feelings. She could see the
confused little boy in his dark eyes. The one she had grown to love
so very much.

“I really have to go,” she urged, afraid to
say anything else or linger a moment longer for fear she would
truly gather him into her arms to comfort the hurt. She didn’t want
to feel the strange sensation she felt in the vicinity of her heart
right now. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Nathan nodded and followed her out into the
corridor. “I’ll call you tonight,” he told her before walking
away.

Paige watched Nathan disappear around the
corner toward the stairwell. Why did just being near the man make
her ache with need?

Chapter Five

Paige stretched one last time and then
dragged herself out of bed. She had turned off the telephone last
night to avoid Nathan’s call. She had to think some more before
they talked. Lucky for her he hadn’t come pounding on the door in
the middle of the night.

Today she needed to be far away from
everything and everyone. To think long and hard about the future.
Hers and Jesse’s. Paige pulled on a pair of navy blue stirrup pants
and matching sweater. With James back today, she didn’t have the
barn chores to worry about. Maybe she’d take a long ride and then
an even longer walk on the far side of the Weston property.

Hair brushed and riding boots pulled on,
Paige bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen. The sound of
chatter registered in her brain as she came to a screeching halt
just inside the kitchen door. A woman about Paige’s age stood on a
stepladder, while another, older woman stood on the floor next to
her. A long, damp length of flowery paper hung between them. The
large oak table held the sundry items necessary to perform the task
of hanging paper, including roll after roll of colorful wallpaper.
Wallpaper that had been meticulously coordinated with the paint now
gleaming on the kitchen’s wood molding.

“Hi, I’m Jenn,” the older woman said. “And
this is Carol. You must be Paige, Robert’s niece.” She beamed a
pleasant smile.

“Yes. Good morning,” Paige replied somewhat
hesitantly before returning the smile.

“I hope we didn’t wake you. We were scheduled
to start at seven. We have a—”

“I know,” Paige interrupted. “You have a
key.” This was unreal. People just shouldn’t pass the keys to their
house as casually as if they were lending a cup of sugar to a
neighbor. Especially when their favorite—their only—niece stayed
their all alone. Paige intended to have a serious discussion about
security with Robert. Just how many keys did the man have,
anyway?

“We’ll be through in no time,” Jenn assured
her.

“Don’t mind me. I’m on my way out.” She
smiled, grabbed a cola from the fridge, then headed out of the
house and to the barn. She popped the top and took a long drink. It
wasn’t coffee but it was caffeine—and today she needed it.

“Good morning, James,” she called out as she
entered the stables. “I’m sure glad you’re back.” She rubbed her
still aching back.

“Morning, Paige,” James drawled. He set down
his feed buckets, then pushed his hat up on his forehead. “You look
like a lady who’s hankering for a ride.”

“Yes, sir.” Paige trashed her cola can and
surveyed the stalls. “What about that pretty Appaloosa down
there?”

“That’s Ariel and I believe she’d be tickled
pink to be your mount today.”

James expertly saddled up Ariel, while Paige
visited Windborne’s new foal.

“Gotcha fixed up, little lady,” James
announced when he’d tightened the cinch.

Paige thanked James and slipped into the
saddle atop Ariel. The squeak of smooth leather brought a smile to
her lips. The mare felt good between her thighs. It had been a long
time since Paige had ridden. She felt almost giddy sitting astride
the powerful animal.

“Making a day of it?” he asked.

“I’ll be back around lunch. I’m going down to
the river to check out Robert’s favorite fishing spot.”

“You need a pole and some bait?”

“I don’t want to fish, I just want to relax.
See you later.” Paige nudged Ariel, who pranced out of the barn.
She headed across the wide, green pasture at a steady pace.

She smiled as she thought of James’s interest
in her agenda. James had been with Robert for as long as she could
remember. He seemed almost as much like family as Robert himself.
He’d never let her go off alone without getting particulars. She
supposed James hadn’t noticed that she wasn’t a little girl
anymore, although thirty was far from being a little girl.

Thirty
. Boy, that sounded old. She
thought of Jesse’s age as well. Four years old and an only child.
Paige didn’t want to have an only child. Being one herself, she
understood the loneliness. If her adolescent dreams had come true,
she and Nathan would be married and have four children by now. That
had been the plan.

That would never happen now. Paige didn’t
resist the regret that washed over her with that thought. Getting
right with the loss was necessary. Relaxing, she allowed her body
to flow with the horse’s graceful movements. At one time, Nathan
had been the most loving, considerate man Paige had ever known.
Kind and compassionate. He had helped her to believe that anything
was possible. So many dreams. None of which would ever be now. The
only thing she could hope for was an amiable relationship with
Nathan for the sake of their son.

The wide open space around her called to
something deep inside Paige. Her childhood days here had been so
different from her life in Memphis. On the ranch, life had been
slow and easy, horses and Nathan. In the city, it had been fast and
stressful, social functions and her father’s expectations. She
didn’t have one memory of a family outing that hadn’t carried some
hidden agenda or professional motivation of some sort. Her Uncle
Robert had allowed Paige to be a child—free and happy. Robert and
Elliott had clashed many times over what was best for Paige.
Elliott always won.

As she had grown into an adult, she had felt
the tremendous pressure not to let her father down. He wanted so
much for her to become just like him—a rich and powerful attorney.
Marry the right man, Paige. Live in the right house in the right
neighborhood and have the right children.

Paige rubbed Ariel’s neck as the mare trudged
onward. Her life so far had been a huge letdown in her father’s
eyes. She had borne an illegitimate half-breed child, become a
public defender, and had no husband at all. Paige shook her head
sadly. Elliott Weston still loved her, she knew that. He just
didn’t want anything to do with the things that mattered to her.
And Paige could no longer tolerate his indifference to her career
choice and those he considered lesser forms of life, most
especially her own son. Though he had tried to strong-arm his way
back into her life since her cancer diagnosis and treatment, Paige
hadn’t allowed him to take over. She took their fledgling
relationship one moment at a time.

She shook off the depressing thoughts and
focused on the paradise around her. Everything was green or getting
that way as far as the eye could see. Gentle, rolling hills.
Budding, leafing trees in the distance. And beyond that, she knew,
was the little river that cut across her uncle’s ranch. The one she
and Nathan had swam in hundreds of times. The place he had first
kissed her when she was sixteen years old. A sweet, tender kiss
that demanded nothing more than the meeting of lips.

Paige closed her eyes and summoned the image
to mind. Nathan’s arms around her, his lean, young body close hers,
the warmth that flowed between them. His silky black hair
shimmering down his back like dark, falling water. Bronze skin that
glistened in the sun. It had been at that precise moment that Paige
had known without a doubt that she would love Nathan Blackrope for
the rest of her life.

How had it come to this?

~*~

Nathan dismounted outside Robert’s barn. He
smoothed his palm over Midnight’s neck. Paige was avoiding him.
She’d ignored his calls all evening and now she’d taken off bright
and early to make sure he didn’t catch her today. Her car was in
the drive, and she’d apparently taken a horse.

James looked up when Nathan entered the barn.
“Hey, buddy, how’s it going?”

Nathan smiled. “Okay. You’re looking better
than the last time I saw you.”

“Feeling better, too,” James said with a hand
pressed to his stomach. “That bug about got the best of me.”

“I’m glad you’re back on your feet.” Nathan
took his hat off and plowed his fingers through his hair. “Did
Paige take a ride?” He tried his level best to sound nonchalant,
but even he heard the twinge of emotion in his voice.

“Yep, early this morning.” James peered at
his watch. “Should’ve been back by now.”

“Did she say where she planned to go?” A
feeling of uneasiness slipped over Nathan.

“Said she planned to ride down to the river,
somewhere around Robert’s fishing spot.” James scribbled a note on
the feed chart.

“Thanks.” Nathan didn’t waste any time
getting back astride Midnight. He headed out across the west
pasture in a hard gallop. Paige probably hadn’t ridden in a long
time. No telling what kind of trouble she could have gotten herself
into.
Damn.
The woman could give a guy an ulcer.

When he neared the river, Nathan slowed his
mount to as easy gait. He pushed his Stetson back and squinted
towards the trees in the distance. The appaloosa grazed near a
thicket of trees. Nathan sighed with relief. He urged the horse
forward, staying at a slow trot. When Midnight neared the other
horse, he dismounted and dropped the reins. He gave the spotted
mare a friendly pat as he walked past her.

The occasional call of a bird and the
trickling of water sounded in the otherwise total silence around
him. He scanned the river bank for Paige.

“Looking for someone in particular,
Blackrope?”

Nathan spun toward her voice. She sat under
the shade of an old oak. He ignored the sense of longing that
surged through him at the mere sight of her.

“James was worried. He thought maybe you’d
gotten yourself lost,” Nathan told her with feigned indifference.
He dropped to the ground at her feet and propped his hat on one
knee.

“If James was so worried, why didn’t he come
looking for me?” she asked, unconvinced.

“Too busy to trifle with city girls who get
themselves lost,” he teased. Nathan couldn’t restrain the grin that
surfaced.

Paige drew in a long breath and set her
pretty blue eyes on his. Nathan held her gaze and prayed he would
have the strength not to do something foolish, like taking her in
his arms and kissing her again.

“I guess it’s time to talk, huh?” Paige
dropped her gaze to the grass. She twisted several blades between
her fingers, tearing tiny pieces from the ground.

“Can I go first?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“When did you stop working for your
daddy?”

Paige shot him a baleful look. “Couldn’t we
start with something simpler?”

Nathan shook his head.

She sighed and twisted the grass a little
more. “It took me about six months to realize that I wasn’t cut out
for his kind of law.” She looked anywhere but at Nathan. “I wanted
to help real people who needed me for more than a tax
write-off.”

Nathan smiled. That was the Paige he used to
know. “Are you happy now?”

She smiled. “Yes. I love my job. I work with
juveniles a lot and I really enjoy making a difference.”

“I’m sure Elliott was a little disappointed.”
Nathan watched her reaction closely. They hadn’t been able to have
a reasonable conversation regarding her father in more than a
decade. This might very well end what could have otherwise been a
nice chat.

“At first he pretended it hadn’t happened,”
she began. “Then he tried to coerce me into coming back to work for
him. Finally we just stopped talking.” A sheen of tears glazed her
eyes, regret tinged her voice.