Here for You (19 page)

“Do you know what that dream is yet?”

I close my eyes momentarily while I picture my clothing line. “Yes.”

“Will you tell me?”

“Not yet. You will be the first to know when the time is right. I think we’ll continue to work together in the future.”

Larry sits up and leans forward in his chair. “Whoa.” He holds up a hand. “I hope you’re not going to be competing against the company because that will be a deal breaker for me.”

I shake my head. “No. Absolutely not. I would never do that to you. You’re the only person that I would even consider selling my company to. I trust you, Larry, and I’m hoping you never show me a reason not to.”

“Ash.” He reaches across the table and places a hand over mine. “You’re like a second daughter to me. Business is business but believe it or not, family does come first for me. If you agree to sell to me, I assure you we will make you and your family names proud.”

I close my eyes and nod. Tears are threatening behind my lids, but I would never let them show. Not even in front of Larry. I wait a second and open them back up. “I know you would. That’s the only reason why I’m considering a number.” I lift my glass and finish the contents. “I don’t mean to cut the evening short, because I love hanging out with you and Patty, but Cam has practice tomorrow and I don’t want to keep him out.”

Larry laughs and waves a hand. “I don’t want our star pitcher to be tired for the opening game on Friday. Imagine the people I would have to answer to if I was at fault. No thanks!”

“Imagine how I feel every day. I’m terrified to take him out of his routine for fear that I’ll cause some major upset.”

Larry and I laugh as we turn to Cam, who’s shaking his head at us. “You guys act like I’m not even here.”

I pat his thigh and hold his gaze. I see the concern in his eyes and I know he’s worried about me right now. “You’re definitely here. We just want you to get your rest.”

“Fine,” he says in a deadpan voice.

This makes Larry and I laugh harder, and Cam frowns. “Let’s go. We can all argue about it after you win the first game of the series for us. Fair?”

He smiles at this and I wink at Larry. “See. The guy just likes to give me wins.”

“We’re looking forward to attending on Friday. Don’t forget to come and visit us, Ashley.”

I slide my chair back to stand up, and Cam follows my lead. “I will definitely stop by the box. Enjoy the evening.”

Larry and Patty both get up as we stand. I give both of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Cam hugs Patty and shakes Larry’s hand. Larry slaps him on the back. “Make us proud, son.”

I watch the emotion wash over Cam’s face. I know just hearing the word in that context is like a term of endearment to his ears, and it breaks my heart that he has to search for something that he should get freely from his parents. I reach for his hand, and he laces his fingers with mine. The gesture is immediate comfort for me and, I’m guessing, him too. We’re a couple of lost souls trying to find our way together.

As soon as we’re settled in the back of the car, Cam turns to me. “I didn’t realize you were selling your company. That’s a huge deal, Ash.”

I know he means well and is being supportive, but the whole issue is painful for me, and I haven’t wanted it to take away from our time together. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

I watch his large hand wrap around my fingers. “You run one of the largest companies in San Francisco and are ranked in the top across the country. I think it’s a pretty big deal.”

“Have you been researching me?”

Cam turns his head and peers down at me. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Ash.”

I laugh half-heartedly. “I know. But it’s really not a big deal. Can we not focus on that? Your season is what’s important right now.”

Before I realize what he’s doing, he pulls me onto his lap. He cups the back of my head and tilts my head to his. His lips barely touch mine, which makes me want him so much more. “The next few weeks are just a couple of games. The sale of your company is your life. Somehow I think that deserves more attention.”

He’s right as far as the decision impacting the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean that the next couple of weeks aren’t critical to his career, though. “I will worry about my company and you focus on your games. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Cam doesn’t respond. I don’t know if this offends him, but I also know he said he couldn’t promise me anything. I wait a few extra seconds, but he still doesn’t say anything, and when I look at him I can see the hesitation on his face. I wrap my arms around his neck. “Hey, what’s bothering you?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing. I know I have no right to ask to be part of your life.”

“Of course you do. You’re part of it now. I’ve told you from the beginning, I’m here for you now. I’m not going anywhere.”

His arms wrap around my middle and he pulls me closer. “I know, and I want to be there for you too. I want you to talk to me. I feel like I do all the talking and you don’t let me in.”

“Because I don’t want to bother you with my life while you’re in the middle of the most important part of your season.”

His hold on me loosens, and I see his features drop. “Okay, if that’s how you feel.”

I cup his cheek and tilt his head up toward mine. “Cam, you’re the one who told me you couldn’t promise anything. You said you didn’t want to hurt me. I have to be careful about how much I count on you. If I tell you everything and you walk away, what am I going to do then?”

“I told you once I had you in my life I wouldn’t let you go. This goes both ways, Ash. I will always be there for you. I know I told you I can’t promise you my heart right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you. I want to be there for you and help you in any way I can.”

I simply nod my head but I don’t say anything more. Our relationship has reached another critical point, and we’ve gotten there quickly. Too quickly, if I’m being honest. I lean into his hold and rest my head against his. He doesn’t push me to say anything else and I don’t feel like talking the rest of the ride.

I know she’s been around money her entire life but, shit, that’s a lot to anyone. And I know it’s not like she would personally net that from the sale but again, I can’t believe this has been in her head and I had no idea. I can’t be mad because I’m the one that’s warned her I couldn’t give her everything. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be there for her. I want her to feel like she can count on me.

She’s sitting in the solarium finishing up some emails for work, and I’m moving around the kitchen. “Do you need anything before bed?”

“I’m good. I’ll be done in a couple minutes,” she calls from the other room.

I throw the mail from the table onto the end of the island for tomorrow. I pick up the glasses from earlier and practically toss them in the sink and when I spin around, I knock the tin off the counter.

“
Damn it!
”

King’s wife made me cookies a few weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to bring it back for the last week. It sounds like an explosion when it hits the tile floor and the lid flies off, rattling until I pick it up. I throw the tin back onto the counter with the lid.

Shaking my head I walk into the solarium to let Ash know I’m going to bed. When I see her, she’s white as a ghost, and her body is trembling. I kneel down in front of her and place my hands on her thighs.

“What’s wrong?”

She doesn’t say a word. Her eyes are wide and she looks terrified. I pull her computer off her lap and set it on the table next to the couch. She hardly even blinks at the movement and she’s starting to scare me. I have no idea what could have happened; she just answered me less than thirty seconds ago.

“Baby, can you look at me?” Now I’m worried that she’s scared of me because I’ve been throwing shit around the condo since we got back from dinner. “I’m sorry I was throwing things around, but I’m not mad at you. I’m angry with myself.” I gently touch my hand to her face and try to hold her gaze. She makes eye contact and keeps her eyes focused on mine. “Is that why you’re upset?”

She shakes her head rapidly and looks away. I’m almost afraid to touch her more or move her because she looks so fragile. But I can’t stand watching her like this so I scoop her up in my arms. I shut the lights off as I go and walk down the hallway to my room. I set her on the bed and slide in behind her. I pull her onto my lap and stroke my hand down her hair hoping to at least calm her.

I can feel her body trembling, and I try to pull her closer to me. I pull the covers up so they are partially covering her. “Ash, I need you to talk to me. What’s wrong?”

She continues to stare off to the side and then finally I hear her. “Sorry,” she whispers. “The sound … just caught me off guard.”

I furrow my brow at her. “What sound?” I try to remember what happened in the last few minutes. “You mean the tin? I’m sorry. Did that scare you?”

She leans into me and nods her head against my chest. Her vulnerability surprises me, and I try to hold her tight so she knows she’s protected. “My parents …”

I swear my heart stops beating and my body stills at the word. I’ve tried to get her to talk about them, but this is the first time she’s mentioned them on her own since the first night I met her. When she said her last name it triggered something in my memory. All I know is something bad happened because I remember the company and family name in the news but I don’t remember any details. It was during the start of postseason two years ago, and I don’t always have time for news or anything outside of our team.

I know tonight was difficult for her, and I’m guessing that’s what has brought on this episode but it’s still not adding up for me on why it would cause this reaction.

I brush the hair from her forehead. “What about your parents?”

She sits up straight and turns her head to me. Her eyes are still wide and it’s like she doesn’t even realize she said the word out loud. “I’m sorry.” She blinks her eyes hard and actually shakes her head. “What did I say?”

“Nothing. You just said ‘my parents’.” I watch as her face starts to show that she’s registering what just happened. “Can you tell me?”

Her eyes drop, and she lays her head back down on my shoulder. Other than the first night I met her, Ashley is always in control and full of life. Right now it’s almost as if she’s reverted back to a childhood version of herself or at least some version of herself before I knew her.

“My parents were murdered.”

Without being able to stop myself, I gasp at the statement. I honestly didn’t even remember that they had been murdered, not just killed in an accident or something. I instinctively pull her closer. I hope this doesn’t mean that she’s potentially in danger of any sort.

“I’m sorry, baby.” I feel her shake her head against my shoulder so I just wait for her to continue when she’s ready. Her finger is randomly tracing patterns across my chest. When she takes in a deep breath, I brace for the story that is about to spill out of her.

“My father had a mistress. Well, actually he had many over the course of my parents’ marriage. I wasn’t aware of it until the last one. I walked into his office one day at work and the bitch was on her knees in front of him. I started screaming at her to get the hell out of my dad’s office. When he stood up and told me to calm down, my world shifted.

“It wasn’t like I had a beautiful father-daughter relationship, but our bond was business. I respected everything he had done. Yes, he was cold in the business world. Ruthless even. But I still respected how much success he had achieved, and I wanted to be just like him. Not cruel and ruthless, but successful. When I started to show him early on that I could handle things, he encouraged me. Every time he told me he was proud of me, I worked harder. I lived for his praise. The only way I ever received it was by attaining some sort of success at work.

“My mother was a beautiful and kind woman. She was the very essence of the perfect mom. Any child would be blessed to have a mom like her. Even though my sister was a spoiled brat and tried to take all of my mom’s attention, I was still very close to my mother. So, the second my dad took Melissa’s side in his office, I got in my car and drove to the beach house.

“My mom was staying there as usual. When I told her what I saw, she was very calm and told me that she knew my dad was having an affair. I asked her why she didn’t leave him, and she said he had promised to end it. She also said she didn’t want to disappoint us by leaving our dad. I told her to get the hell away from him that day, and she just shook her head. She said she would talk to him and figure out what they were going to do.

“I was furious at both of them, and I didn’t go in to work for a week. I hated that my mom would stay with someone that would do that to her, and I hated my dad for doing that to my mom. I finally gave in and called my mom a week after the incident. She told me they were going to stay together. My dad was going to leave Melissa, and he had asked my mother for another chance. He admitted to other affairs in the past and said he wanted to start fresh.”

Ashley stops talking and wraps both of her arms around my neck. She buries her face in the crook of my neck and I don’t know why but the moment changes me. I hate that she’s in pain, but I feel like something has shifted in our relationship and I’m unable to imagine my life without her. I want to be the person who holds her when she’s hurting. I want to protect her and comfort her.