Here Comes the Light (Cambrooke #1)

For anyone who has ever felt like they aren’t enough.

And the Light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it

John 1:5

Chapter 1

“
I
don’t know about this, Jess.” I tug on the blood red low cut top Jess talked me into trying on.  More boob is showing than I’m comfortable with.

“C’mon Miley, you look great. Hudson is going to love it.” Jess says as she continues to root through the clothing rack. “Don’t you think, Nova?”

“Huh? What?” Nova flips her brunette hair over her shoulder as she looks up from her cell phone.

“Doesn’t Miley look great in that top?” Jess repeats through gritted teeth. When she asks a question like this she isn’t looking for an opinion she is expecting you to agree with her.

“Yeah.”
Nova nods wide-eyed at me.

Jess shakes her head at Nova.  “Nova, if
Coby hasn’t texted you back by now, I don’t think he is going to.” Jess blinks rapidly as she holds the skirt she’s looking at out to her side. “You need to quit being so needy.”

Nova
shrugs, I can tell she is hurt by the look on her face when she shoves her phone back in her purse. Jess isn’t happy unless she is the center of attention when she is satisfied with Nova’s response she turns back towards me. “I think you should wear that to school tomorrow.”

I let out a long breath, “I don’t know Jess.”

“I thought you and Hudson broke up.” Nova says as though she just now caught on to what Jess said minutes ago.

“Nova, where have yo
u been that was last week.” Jess says exasperated. “I mean how many times have they broken up anyway?”  Here we go again Jess and Nova discussing my love life like I am not even here.

“
I know they break up all the time.” Nova rolls her eyes back into her head then looks at me. “Why don’t you just give up already?”

Jess lets out a la
ugh, “They can’t give up. They’re perfect for each other.  Miley just needs to quit being such a drama queen.”

“Quit talking about me like I am not here.” I huff flipping my blonde hair out of my eyes.

Jess shoves a denim mini skirt at me. “This will go perfect with that top.” I roll my eyes and grab the skirt as I stomp back into the dressing room.   I know Jess can be a pain sometimes but she was the only one there for me when my mom died when I was nine.

Jess, Nova and I have been friends since Kindergarten.  Jess has always been kind of the leader. She loves being in control of everything around her
. Nova and I just go along with it because it is easier that way. Jess is dating my boyfriend’s best friend, Ethan. So she always pushes Hudson and I back together whenever we break up.

Even though I really don’t want to I buy
the top and the mini skirt. I feel naked in them, but it will only be one day, right?   I don’t feel like listening to Jess if I don’t buy it or wear it. I have the bag in my hand when Jess cell phone chimes. A smile stretches across her face as she looks at it. “It’s Ethan.” She states staring at Nova and I.  This is our cue to leave now. Nova and I head toward the food court.

“Are you going to wear the outfit to school tomorrow?” Nova says in a hush.

“I don’t know.” I let out a long breath. Even though I know I will because I’ll never hear the end of it from Jess.

“It did look great
on you; I wasn’t just saying that because Jess wanted me to.” Nova adds.

“I just fe
lt naked.” I reply before ordering water from the smoothie kiosk.

“Ugh, Miley.”
Jess’s voice growls from behind me. My heart sinks what did I do now? I turn to look at her, opening my water.

“What?” I shrug wide-
eyed.

“I am just so tired of Ethan complaining about Hudson complaining you won’t sleep with him.”

My heart sinks. “He complains about that?” I know my face has to be a lovely shade of red as I feel the warmth in my cheeks; “to Ethan?” my voice is now quieter.

“I
don’t understand what the big deal is, Miley, just do it already.” Jess says as she orders herself bottled water. She cracks it open with her passion pink manicured hands. “It is just sex, Miley you guys have been off and on now for what two years and you are seventeen.” She shrugs as she takes a sip of her water, flipping her long platinum blond hair off her shoulder. “I mean what exactly are you waiting for anyway? Marriage, who does that anymore?” she shrugs and rolls her eyes.

“It
isn’t all that big of a deal.” Nova smiles at me, “I find it fun.”

Jess
curls her lip up at Nova, “That is obvious; you have practically been with the whole football team.” Jess chides. Not that Jess hasn’t, but I am the only one who knows about it. She uses me as a cover up when cheating on Ethan- captain of said football team.

“I am just not ready.” I shrug. I know
this is pointless to try to get them to understand. I still try. “Once I lose my virginity I can never get it back.” My voice is soft.

“Virginity is for the nerds.” Jess and Nova both giggle at Jess’
s lame joke.

I just keep walking ignoring their amusement of my morals.

Okay here goes nothing. I am st
anding here in front of my full-length mirror.  I can’t believe I am doing this. I just have to get through today. I hate being the center of attention and this blood red top screams ‘look at me!’ Jess should have bought it for herself. I throw on a sweater and run down the stairs before I change my mind.  My dad is too busy on a business call to notice my new attire. I run out the door and jump in my black Mini Cooper my dad bought me for my sixteenth birthday and I am on my way to school.

“So did you wear it?” Jess voice chimes behind me as I retrieve books from my locker. I turn to see not only Jess, but Nova as well staring eagerly at me. “Well let’s see it.” I slowly slip my sweater off. I don’t know why Jess thinks I am her real life Barbie doll to dress as she pleases, but I just go with it anyway. My hands have a death grip on my sweater as I slip it off, hesitating before hanging it up.

Jess lets out a squeal
. “It looks awesome; I should so be a personal shopper.”

“Miley.” I hear Hudson’s sexy voice as his arms wrap around my waist. “Wow!”

“I told you he would like it.” Jess winks at me.

“I love it.” He
mumbles huskily as he presses his mouth against my neck, “I’m not going to love everyone else looking at you.”

His lips and breath tickle my neck and I shrug him off.  “Hudson
, we’re at school.” I remind him.

Ethan wraps his arm around Jess’s shoulders before he looks at me.  “Miley looking good.” He says staring a
t my chest. I pull the books in my arms up against my chest to hide myself from him.

“Hey now, back off,” Hudson’s grip grows tighter around me as he playfully shoves on Ethan. “She’s mine.” He jokes even though I know if it would have b
een anyone else they wouldn’t have been shoved playfully. They would have been greeted with a fist instead. Hudson leads me down the hall to my class with his arm still around me. He looks down at my chest his eyes gleaming apparently enjoying the view. “You look like you’re about ready to fall out.”

“I know.” I groan,
“ I don’t like this shirt but Jess insisted it looked great.”

“She must know how much I love red.” His arm tightens around my waist when he says this.

“And boobs.” I mumble with an eyeroll.

“See you after class.” He kisses
me on the cheek before disappearing into his class. I continue two doors down to my first period Math class.

I’
m out of my comfort zone as I make my way to my seat. I know people are whispering and pointing about my outfit.

There is just something about Math first thing in the morning mixed with Mr. Aiken’s
monotone voice that seems to lull me to sleep.

“Miley.” I
jolt awake at the sound of my name. I look up wiping the drool off my cheek, how embarrassing. “Would you like to solve the problem on the board?” Mr. Aiken asks pompously standing above me.

“Uh, no?
Thanks anyway.” I sit back, but know I am not off the hook. “You can do it.” I force a hopeful smile. The class erupts in laughter.

“Okay.” I can hear the irritation in his voice. “Let me rephrase it then. I know I can solve it. I want to see you solve it.” He holds a piece of chalk out to me.

If only I could crawl under my desk and disappear.  I slowly take the chalk from his clammy hands and stand. I get to be on display in front of the whole class, wonderful. I stand and tug on the bottom of my skirt to make sure it hasn’t ridden up exposing my black thong underwear; another wardrobe mistake today.

I hear a few whistles as I make my way to the front and Mr. Aiken hushes them. “I expect you to be wearing more clothes when you show up for school tomorrow.” Mr. Aiken whi
spers in my ear making my face warm, probably matching my shirt.

I stare at this complicated problem in front of me as my hand shakes. Math was complicated enough when it was just numbers but now it has letters as well?

I take a deep breath and raise the chalk to the board my hand is shaking so bad it slips out and on to the floor, of course breaking into several pieces. I stand for a couple seconds staring at the floor trying to figure out how to pick that up without exposing anything. I finally crouch down, my knees on the floor and pick up the tiny pieces my heart pounds uncontrollably. I grab a hold of the corner of Mr. Aiken’s desk with one hand to help steady myself as I stand.

As soon as I am upright there is a roar of laughter and pointing, some catcalls and wide eyes. That is when I realize what just happened when I feel the cool air on my boob. I gasp drop
ping all the chalk pieces I previously picked up I cup my hand over the exposed flesh and run off to the bathroom.

I think I am
going to die. I don’t know how I am going to make it through the rest of the day let alone the rest of the school year.

I wait in the bathroom until a few minutes after the bell rings. I hope everyone from Math class has already past when I slip out of the bathroom. I have one goal right now, to make it to my locker and get my sweater.

“Miley.” I hear a voice holler my heart sinks as I turn and see Declan. I know he is in my Math class
. What does he want? “I thought you might need these.” He holds out the books I left on my desk when I bolted out of class.

I reac
h out and grab them. “Thanks.” forcing a smile and my eyes meet his. His eyes are a clear blue.  I have never seen any like it.  They make me feel uncomfortable yet safe at the same time as he stands here and smiles at me. How have I never noticed his eyes before now? We have been in school together since Kindergarten. I have to look away before I am put in a trance by those eyes.

“You know, Miley,” he began as
he his hands slide down his back pack straps. “You don’t have to dress like this.” He points to my clothes. “I know you are better than that.” What does this guy even know I don’t think we have had one conversation since Kindergarten.  I just stand here frozen, part of me doesn’t want to move, but I pull my books up to my chest and force myself to run off before he can say anything else to me.

At lunch I pick at my salad. Nova is beside me with her lunch tray, pizza and fries.  The smell of pizza makes my stomach growl.

“So word around the school is you flashed your Ma
th class.” Nova gushes all wide-eyed. I knew someone would bring it up. Jess takes her normal seat across from us with her salad.

“Is everyone talking about me?” my voice is soft as I push my lettuce around with my fork. “That was humiliating.”

“Is that why you put your sweater back on?” Jess rolls her eyes as she takes a nibble of her salad.

“Yeah.”
I fist my sweater tighter around me.

“Oh,
please, Miley.” Jess chides, “Does everything always have to be about you? If the top didn’t fit your girls why did you wear it today anyway?”