Here Comes a Candle (11 page)

“
The Campbells are coming, oh ho, oh ho,

The Campbells are coming to bonny Lochleven
”

and walked faster, with a swing in her step, in time to her own music. At last the child fell into step beside her. Their swinging hands touched, and Kate caught hold of Sarah
’
s, pulling it high in the air on
“
Bonny Lochleven.
”
For a moment, she was afraid it would not work, but then the hand that had felt for a moment like a snared bird relaxed in hers.

So they were marching hand in hand to Kate
’
s singing, when they came out on to the big lawn and saw Arabella Penrose standing tall, elegant, and furious on the porch. Kate
’
s voice dwindled into silence, and as they crossed the lawn she regretted with useless passion that she had not paused to tidy the two of them a little before they hurried home. Sarah
’
s ill-fitting muslin was creased and stained, her own durable worsted little better. They must look a proper pair of tatterdemalions. She could feel Sarah
’
s hand pulling away from hers and held on tighter as she met Arabella
’
s frowning look.
“
I
’
m so sorry we
’
re late, Mrs. Penrose, I hope you
’
ve not been worrying.
”

“
Worrying! What d
’
you think I
’
ve been doing?
”
As Arabella
’
s wrath exploded, Kate instinctively let go of Sarah
’
s hand and watched her dart away around the side of the house. Arabella drew a deep, angry breath.
“
Do you know what time it is?
”

“
No, I
’
m afraid I don
’
t, but I know it must be dreadfully late. We took a picnic, you see, and I
’
m afraid, afterward, we both fell fast asleep.
”

“
Asleep?
”
Scornfully now.
“
In charge of a mentally deficient child, and you take her out into the woods, God knows where, and
‘
fall asleep
’
!
”

“
It was inexcusable of me,
”
said Kate quietly.
“
I can only say I
’
m sorry. And it won
’
t happen again.
”

“
It certainly won
’
t,
”
said Arabella.
“
I
’
ll see to that. What did my husband say he would pay you, Mrs. Croston?
”

“
He hasn
’
t said. But you can
’
t mean—
”

“
To dismiss you? Why not? Can you give me one good reason why I should trust you with Sarah after this?
”

“
Yes.
”
The deep, sun-drenched sleep had done Kate good. Her head felt clear at last; her voice was steady as she went on.
“
I can see now what Mr. Penrose means about the child. I cannot believe that her condition is incurable.
”

“
And you propose to cure her by falling asleep in her company? You know so much better than the doctors?
”
The scorn in her voice should have been crushing, but Kate found it merely a challenge.

“
Well, after all, they do admit that they know next to nothing about what ails the child. If only there was some clue as to what started it. I mean—of course, it would be terrifying for a little thing like her to spend a night shut up, alone in the woods, but still it doesn
’
t seem enough, somehow. You were there, Mrs. Penrose. Wasn
’
t there anything else? Anything that would help me to understand —help me to help her?
”

“
That
’
s enough!
”
Arabella erupted suddenly into a rage that was all the more horrible because she kept her voice low and controlled.
“
You bitch. You—
”
She used a word Kate had heard often enough in the army, but never from a woman.
“
That
’
s your game is it? To suggest it
’
s all my fault! To come into my house, a drab, a slut, a bit of army refuse, and try and turn my husband and child against me. Yes, I saw you urge Sarah to run away from me. Don
’
t think I
’
m stupid, Mrs. Croston.
”
And then, on a new note.
“
Is it Mrs. Croston by the way? Did my poor, gullible Jonathan ever think to ask for your marriage lines before he engaged you? Camp follower with the British Army seems nearer the mark! I wonder what made you so anxious to get away. Yes
”
—she saw this had struck home —
“
you don
’
t much like to be asked that, do you? Well, Mrs. Croston
”
—this time she made the title an insult—
“
I
’
ll make a bargain with you. We won
’
t go into that Your shabby past
shall be entirely your own affair. So long as you are packed and out of the house in half an hour.
”

Half an hour. Before Jonathan came back. Kate put out a hand to steady herself on the porch railing.
“
I
’
m
sorry, Mrs. Penrose, but your husband engaged me. He will have to dismiss me. It
’
s true enough. He did trust me without seeing my papers. There
’
s no reason why you should. I
’
ll bring them down when I
’
ve put Sarah to bed.
”

“
Don
’
t trouble yourself. What
’
s a piece of paper, after all?
”
Arabella
’
s tone had changed to one of mere indifference.
“
We are both being absurd, Mrs. Croston. You cannot wish to live here in this dead-and-alive hole. I don
’
t know what your reasons were for wanting to leave Canada—I don
’
t want to know—but you
’
ve succeeded. There
’
s no need to stay here, slave to a child who becomes crazier every day, may be dangerous any moment. Jonathan didn
’
t tell you the doctors said that, did he?
”

“
No. And I don
’
t believe it. She might just possibly, from what I
’
ve seen of her, do herself an injury, out of—I don
’
t know—not caring. But I
’
ve spent the day with her, watching her. Do you know she goes out of her way to avoid treading on a worm? A butterfly lit on the cake she was eating this afternoon. She
’
d been chasing them all morning. She could have had it easily. She smiled and blew it away. Mrs. Penrose, I know I
’
ve made a bad start, but, please, give me another chance. I truly think I might be able to help Sarah. Did you see? She was holding my hand just now?
”

“
Yes, I did see. She won
’
t hold mine.
”

Suddenly, Kate was sorry for her. She made a stumbling attempt to say so.
“
I
’
m sorry, Mrs. Penrose. I hadn
’
t thought what it must be like for you. But she
’
ll get over it I
’
m sure she will.
”

“
Thank you!
”
Savagely.
“
Do you propose to
‘
understand
’
me too, as well as my child?
”
She changed all of a sudden from anger to condescension.
“
I won
’
t keep you any longer from your duties. Or do you think feeding Sarah less important than understanding her?
”
Moving away, tall and graceful, into the shadowed hall, she turned back for a last word:
“
We will discuss your leaving when Mr. Penrose gets home.
”

Kate found Sarah in the kitchen, eating cookies under the benevolent eye of Mrs. Peters.

“
I
’
m glad you sent her in to me, miss—ma
’
am, I should say. She don
’
t much like scenes, our Sarey.
”

There was a question somewhere in the short sentences, and Kate decided she could not afford to ignore it.
“
I
’
m afraid I
’
m in dreadful disgrace for staying out so late. I hope Mr. Penrose won
’
t be too angry.
”

“
Angry! Mr. Jonathan? When I tell him Sarey drank two glasses of milk right off? Well, if he is, ma
’
am, just send him out to me. She looks better than she has for weeks, and will sleep like a log tonight, I reckon, and what
’
s more important than that?
”

“
Thank you.
”
Tears she had fought while confronting Arabella were dangerously close behind her eyes.

“
Don
’
t you mind anything, love.
”
Mrs. Peters bent toward her.
“
Just remember it
’
s the child that counts.
”

The child. Kate swallowed tears, and managed cheerfully:
“
My goodness, Sarah, high time for your bed.
”
Sarah went to bed without a murmur. Safely tucked in, she looked up just for a moment, directly at Kate. Surely there was the faintest glimmer of a smile in the gray eyes before
they slid aside to gaze away into the
corner
of the room. Bending to kiss the now unresponsive face, Kate made her a silent promise: she would not abando
n
her if she could help it.

Downstairs, Kate found, with a sinking heart, that Jonathan and Arabella were already deep in talk in the drawing room. Arabella stood erect and magnificent in crimson satin, her back to the huge gold-framed looking glass over the chimney piece, so that to Kate
’
s anxious imagination it seemed that two of her were dominating the
room. Jonathan was leaning, long and loose-jointed against the window-frame, his daytime black in contrast with his wife
’
s magnificence, his face shadowed, impassive under the fair hair that always looked wind-blown. Disconcertingly, he stopped talking at sight of Kate and the two of them awaited her in chilling silence.

Nothing for it but to plunge right in:
“
I
’
m extremely sorry, Mr. Penrose, about today. It won
’
t happen again.
”
No excuses. He must know how exhausting their journey had been. She was not going to refer to it. But the silence dragged out, as if each of them was waiting for the other to speak. At last Kate went on.
“
I brought down my marriage lines, Mrs. Penrose.
”
And then, when Jonathan merely shook his head impatiently, and Arabella turned away to study her own profile in the glass as if the whole subject was profoundly indifferent to her:
“
Sarah went to bed like an angel. I truly think her day in the open has done her good. She
’
s got a little color—
”

“
And so you think she
’
s cured!
”
The two Arabellas shrugged marble shoulders.
“
You come into our house, turn everything topsy-turvy, break all our rules for the child, give way to her in everything, and then talk about a cure! And to crown it all, you fall asleep out in the woods leaving her exposed to God knows what danger. It
’
s no good, I tell you, Jonathan. I won
’
t have a quiet moment.
”

“
You
’
re so anxious about the child?
”
Jonathan
’
s tone surprised Kate.

“
Of course I
’
m anxious about her! Do you think I don
’
t suffer when I see her as she is? Don
’
t mind when she runs away from me? D
’
you think I
’
ve no feeling, Jonathan? Besides, it
’
s not safe for her here, running wild the way she does.
”

“
It
’
s just about as safe here as anywhere,
”
he said reasonably.
“
I
’
ve taken care she can
’
t get off the place. And with Mrs. Croston to watch out for her. If you think you
’
re up to it?
”
No mistaking the doubt in his voice as he spoke to Kate directly for the first time.
“
Maybe I shouldn
’
t have let you persuade me you could do it
...
Well, that
’
s my
fault. You see now, it
’
s not just a job, it
’
s a whole life. No reason why we should expect you to take it on.
”
And then, as she made to protest.
“
No—wait a minute. I brought you here, and I
’
m responsible for you. No way of getting you back to England right now, I
’
m afraid, but this war won
’
t last forever—not beyond this fall, or I miss my guess. It should be easy enough to find you work in Boston till then.
”

“
But I don
’
t want to work in Boston! I don
’
t want to go back to England, come to that. Please, Mr. Penrose, give me another chance. I want to try. I want the kind of life I could have with Sarah, She
’
s what I need ... I told you
...
someone to love
...
”
She stopped, embarrassed at her own vehemence.

“
Love!
”
Arabella broke in.
“
Because her mother doesn
’
t? If you only knew the nights I
’
ve lain awake, listening to her scream, knowing it would do more harm than good to go to her—
”

“
But, Bella,
”
put in Jonathan,
“
be reasonable. Someone
’
s got to look after Sarah.
”
And then, wearily,
“
Lord knows, we
’
ve been through this often enough before. You
’
ve got to face facts, Bella. You can
’
t; Mrs. Croston thinks she can. Well then, I say, let
’
s give her a trial. If you
’
re really sure you
’
re up to it, Mrs. Croston?
”
Again that note of doubt.

“
Of course I am. Mr. Penrose, I don
’
t know how to thank you. All I can say is, I promise I
’
ll do my best.
”

“
Promises!
”
said Arabella.
“
From a complete stranger, picked up God knows where in the train of the British Army. No, Jonathan, I won
’
t hush! What do you know about women? No mother; no sisters: it
’
s no wonder if you are a fool for a tale of woe and a pitiful face. I won
’
t say a pretty o
n
e. And it
’
s my child you propose to turn over to this—
”

“
Young lady,
”
he intervened grimly as she paused for a word.
“
And—our child, Arabella.
”

“
Yes. Our only—
”
For a moment it seemed that she would say more, then she moved away to pull the scarlet
bell rope, merely throwing back over her shoulder:
“
Well, Jonathan, don
’
t say I didn
’
t warn you.
”
And then, when Job appeared:
“
I
’
ll need the carriage first thing in the morning, Job. I
’
m going back to Boston.
”
Her defiant tone was belied by a quick sideways glance for Jonathan.
Goodness, thought Kate, is this what she has been aiming at all the time?

Jonathan took
it coolly enough.
“
Maybe you
’
re right, my dear. It will give Mrs. Croston time to find her feet.
And that reminds me. There is one other thing, Mrs. Croston. This question of giving in to the child. I don
’
t like that. She must learn, poor lamb, that she cannot always have her own way.
”

“
Of course she must—when she
’
s well enough. At the moment she
’
s thin as a rail and nervous as a scared colt. I want some weight on her, and some color in her cheeks before I so much as think about discipline. I tell you, Mr. Penrose, if I
’
m to do anything for Sarah, I must have a free hand. If not—
”
She stopped, appalled at what she seemed to be saying.

He was looking at her with the amazement of a lion ferociously attacked by a mouse.
“
Well, I
’
ll be—
”
It was the first rumbling of an explosion and she nerved herself to face it. Then, surprisingly, he laughed.
“
You might be right at that, Mrs. Croston. I wouldn
’
t call in an expert at the works, and then tell him how to go about his business. Why should I do it to you? Very well. You
’
re the expert. Yours shall be the decision and, mind you, yours the responsibility.
”

“
Thank you.
”
She was breathing like an exhausted runner.

But it was Arabella who had the last word.
“
Responsibility?
”
she said.
“
After what happened today? My poor Jonathan.
”