Here Are the Young Men (29 page)

‘
Shift on up a bit there, boss,' he said when he reached the bench. ‘Here, I've a few cans with me, perhaps you'd like to share them.'

He was a pro by now. He sat with the scruffy tramp and plied him with booze. Feeding him the second can Kearney said, ‘Listen now, Padre Pio. There's only one thing I ask of ye on this fine mornin. Ye can have all the drink ye like from me, but I hope ye won't mind if I make a little film of ye. Just for, like … the Church. To show them the good work or whatever. Alright?'

The tramp was indifferent. Kearney took out his mobile and started filming. This smelly fuckhead wasn't as manic or embittered as the first one. He didn't say much at all, just supped on the can with quiet gratitude. Kearney giggled freely, not bothering to mask his derision. The alco had an innocent-looking face, which made it all the more hilarious. Kearney poked his cheek with his finger, pushing in the skin and making noises like you'd do for a baby, gurgling at him. The alco didn't give a fuck.

When the tramp had finished his third can of Devil's Bit, it was time to cut the banter. Time for a little vino.

Kearney gave him the bottle and made him wave for the camera. He laughed and slapped him in the head, eliciting a low, tremulous whine. Then he went for a walk.

The lack of sleep was starting to catch up on him. He stopped off at Insomnia for two double espressos – a tip Dwayne had given him in Boston, useful for getting to work when there was no speed or coke around. Wired anew, he marched back into the centre, crossed O'Connell Bridge and stopped in at Dr Quirkey's arcade. He played
House of the Dead
for a spell, exhilarated by the exploding faces of zombies and chainsaw-motherfuckers as he shot them repeatedly at close range. The crossfire thrills – caffeine, guns, blood and noise – coupled with the awareness of what was waiting for him back on the canal bank, fused into an intense and indiscriminate eroticism. As Kearney unloaded again and again into the screen, his cock pulsed in his jeans, his jaw fell open and his eyelids fluttered. During a pause
in
the game action, he scanned the teeming din of the arcade: everywhere, eager little sluts, moaning to be defiled, pouting for the rape.

He couldn't take it any longer. Killed by a chainsaw stuck into his face, he jammed the blue plastic gun back in the metal holster and paced into the toilets. Barely had he slammed the cubicle door behind him than he'd pulled his cock out and was pumping frantically. Images hurtled through his mind, relentless filth. Everything was porno, everyone a victim. Within seconds, groaning at high volume and biting his lip till a hot trickle of blood ran through his saliva, Kearney jizzed all over the place. It pumped out of him in violent spasms, splattering his chin, his hands, his chest, the door and the partition. The spasms didn't abate for many seconds, the spunk gushing out of him like he'd struck milky oil. Kearney continued to moan, overpowered by bliss, not in control of himself. His legs gave way and he crashed backwards on to the toilet seat, falling off and sliding down the partition wall. As the waves of rapture slowly subsided, Kearney started to giggle, then laugh uproariously at the state of himself. He'd never seen anything like it.

He may have passed out for a moment. He blinked awake. His mind was blank. Then he remembered: it was time to go back to the drunken cunt. He gave himself a hasty clean-up and hurried back out of the arcade. He half-ran down O'Connell Street, over the bridge, up Grafton Street, through the Green and down along Leeson Street till he was back at the quiet, sheltered bank of the canal. The water calmly gurgled through the black crescent of the archway, beside which Kearney had left the alco perched on his bench.

And there he was, still in exactly the same place. Kearney glanced behind him to make sure no one was around. All clear. He took out his phone and started filming as he approached the tramp, then stood at the bench beside him. The tramp still reeked of piss and fuck knew what else; he still had dribble or pus or something leaking from the cracked corners of his mouth; he was still a laughable human wreck. Only this time, he wasn't breathing.

You
pathetic old fuck, Kearney thought, standing over him and looking down. You pitiful old man, you fucking wretched, disgusting old bastard. Sickened by the sight of the alco even in death, Kearney stepped forward and delivered a forceful kick to the corpse's ribs. The body jolted on impact. Then it lurched to the side, teetered for a moment and fell over, rolling down the bank to fall with a plop into the canal's flow, as Kearney's camera phone drank it all in.

You pitiful fucking wreck. You dirty stinking cunt.

43
|
Rez

He didn't go out much. His parents felt that he probably should, but at the same time they were reluctant to let him out of their sight, in case he ‘tried it again', as they always referred to the possibility of another suicide attempt.

A little over a week into his convalescence, Rez's ma deemed it time for him to start seeing his friends. For a few days no one came. Then, as Rez was watching a mid-afternoon omnibus of US talk shows, the doorbell rang. The doorbell in the Tooley household was one of those old-fashioned ones that actually went
ding-dong
. Rez heard his ma going to get it.

It was Matthew.

Matthew stayed for less than twenty minutes, during which time he clutched a teacup and looked at the floor or into the telly, swaying faintly in his chair. It seemed to Rez that Matthew's sentences were slurred.

They talked for a while: awkward, stilted questions, and barefaced platitudes in response. As they sipped their tea and stared at
an
ad for Power City on the telly Matthew said, ‘So you're watchin a lot of telly?'

‘That's right, I am yeah,' replied Rez.

‘That's good, telly's good,' said Matthew, nodding slowly, staring into the screen. ‘It's good for ye to watch a bit of telly.'

‘Yeah,' mumbled Rez. ‘I think it is. It's good to watch a bit of telly.'

They watched telly for a bit.

Somewhat later, Rez said, ‘How's Cocker? Alright?'

‘He's not bad, not bad,' came Matthew's response, followed by another sip of tea.

Cruising on Xanaxed autopilot, beginning vaguely to enjoy this series of exchanges, Rez asked, ‘And how's Kearney?'

On being asked this simple question, Matthew became weirdly nervous. He stuttered and fidgeted, looking away from Rez, first at the wall, then at the floor. He gave no intelligible reply.

Why was he being like this, Rez wondered. But the effort of thinking about it was too great. He had just turned away to face the telly again, when Matthew, in a strange, desperate voice, blurted out: ‘Rez, Kearney is gettin all messed up.'

Rez turned back to stare at him.

Matthew said nothing else.

‘Matt, you're sayin that like it's a surprise,' said Rez.

Now Matthew looked straight at him: his eyes were pink; he seemed almost frantic. ‘No Rez, I mean he's gettin really messed up. He's doin weird things, he's …'

He trailed off. They looked at each other, the mid-volume chatter of the TV filling the silence between them. Rez waited. Then he said, ‘What do ye mean? What's he doin?'

Matthew didn't answer. He appeared to sink into himself. Eventually he muttered, ‘Nothing, never mind. He's just mad, ye know yerself. He just keeps goin on about his games all the time. It's wreckin me head. There's nothing goin on.'

Rez
turned away and stared at the telly. There was a rocket launch being broadcast live on the news. Distractedly, Rez noted the eager tone of the reporter's voice as the rocket took off: you could tell she was hoping it would malfunction, combust in mid-air like the
Colombia
a few months ago. After the countdown, as the shiny spacecraft corkscrewed moonward and all seemed to be going well, the disappointment in the reporter's voice was blatant. Why else would they bother showing a rocket launch in this day and age, if not for the possibility that it would blow up live on air?

Sluggish with drugs, Rez's thoughts were entangled in the weird insinuations of the televized launch. Matthew's puzzling behaviour receded from consciousness.

And then Matthew was standing up, saying he had better get going, telling Rez to take care. Rez nodded like a businessman, forgetting briefly the exact nature and purpose of Matthew's visit.

Then Matthew left and Rez turned again to gaze into the lively colour-dance of telly.

Telly, he noted, is really great.

44
|
Kearney

He kept a close check: there was still nothing in the papers about a dead junkie or dead winos. Or next to nothing: there were two short reports of a ‘bad batch' of heroin that was going around, one in the
Herald
and one in the
Independent
, but neither of them mentioned any slaughtered humans.

You needed to see it happen, thought Kearney. You needed to be there at the precise instant when the body passed from life to death – like in Stu's video. He felt like telling Dwayne what he had done, but it was too risky. Instead, he emailed him about the video: ‘
i jus keep thinkin of it over and over i never seen anyting like it hehe fuckin MENTAL. moddern art!! but hush hush cos we be fucked if anyone ever fund out we seen sumting like dat
.'

The next day, Dwayne replied: ‘
wot de fuck u talkin about joe?? u mean dat porno with yer fiwho looked like cristina agillerra? r de video wit all de yungfellas tormentin de homeless lad? dat shit is wide spred over here nigga. y wud we b in trubble for watchin dat? wot de fuck u on about joe???
'

Kearney
was puzzled and unnerved by this response. What the fuck did it mean? Thinking it over, he found he was starting to get a headache. Better, then, not to think of it at all. He smoked a big fuck-off cone and that helped. Dwayne was a dickhead. All Kearney wanted now was to go back into town and fucking decimate another random cunt. But he knew it was best to cool off for a while. The buzz he was on reminded Kearney of what Dwayne had said once about tattoos: as soon as you get one, all you can think about is the next. You want one that's bigger, brasher, bloodier, and there's no end to it till your body is a mass of pouting sluts, flaming swastikas and blackened landscapes. With effort, Kearney suppressed the impulse to find some other wheezing alco, maybe gouge out his eye or break all his fingers, or pull his tongue out with a pliers. He had to be clever, treat it like a game and not lose control. Otherwise he'd be fucked, end up in Mountjoy.

He holed up in his room for a few days, getting stoned and investigating the online world of hentai, a new Japanese fascination of his. When he ran out of hash on Friday morning, he decided to pay a visit to Mick, a dealer he knew through Dwayne. There was a drought on, but Mick always had his sources. Kearney had enough money for a quarter that would last him a few days, a period in which he intended to stay home, till he felt confident about taking the next step.

He got on a bus and headed into town. It was another grey and sullen morning. No one was around; it was as if the city had been evacuated. Mick's flat was on Parnell Street, down where town starts feeling dodgy and faintly lawless. Kearney rang the bell, waited to be buzzed through, then ascended the stairs. He sat quietly while Mick took his time rolling a spliff and telling supposedly funny anecdotes to three older lads, who laughed obsequiously. Slow, spacey reggae played on massive, bass-heavy speakers stacked on a chest of drawers. ‘Dub', Mick called it. Kearney pretended to like it, impatient to get the dope and leave.

After
twenty minutes of dub and forced laughter, Kearney left with the hash. Instead of going straight home, he walked to the Garden of Remembrance to roll a spliff. He wanted to be nice and stoned on the bus journey home, before spending the rest of the day in his attic, getting blitzed out of it. He sat down on a bench, noticing that the place was nearly empty, and took out his book,
Naked Lunch
. He had never read it, and never intended to. Reading, clearly, was for faggots. The book had belonged to Rez until Kearney borrowed it one day – not to read, but to roll joints on in public places. It worked brilliantly. Rez was never getting his book back.

He had rolled the spliff and started smoking it when the boy appeared. Kearney watched him entering the garden through the main gates. Even at a distance, he had no trouble discerning it: the boy was handicapped, your classic Down's-syndrome pre-adolescent. His big, round, baby face was stupid and trusting – stupid and trusting and weak. He wore some kind of uniform, a dark-green affair with a yellow and grey striped tie. He was alone. That surprised Kearney; he had thought they never let them out on their own.

Down the steps the boy waddled. At the opposite end from the gate stood the swan statue, and between them was the long central fountain with Celtic weapons painted on the tiled floor.

Kearney kept his eyes on the handicapped boy who misted through the cloud of hash smoke Kearney billowed from his nostrils, a technique he had styled on Snoop Dogg. The boy reached the foot of the steps and came shuffling around the right-hand side of the fountain, approaching the bench where Kearney was sitting.

Kearney had been watching without any agenda in mind, but now, with the boy right beside him, instinct took over: he darted a quick glance up and down the length of the garden. There was nobody around. Kearney thrust out his long, scrawny leg and adroitly tripped the boy up. He fell forward, landing on his face and palms with a groan of incomprehension and pain.

Kearney was up and on his feet immediately. ‘Jesus, man, I'm sorry!'

‘
Uuggh,' said the boy.

Kearney helped him to his feet, brushed him off, made sympathetic noises until the boy was upright and recomposed. He had no plan, no clear idea of what he was doing, what he would do.