Her Unexpected Affair (The Robinsons) (25 page)

“How did you ever come to think this way?” Surprised her voice came out calm and casual, she fisted her free hand in her lap.

“I’ve seen it in the so-called best families.” He shrugged. “From China to the very upper crust of San Francisco society, and the like around the world, marriages are made to form family or business alliances. Sometimes those marriages are blessed by love and respect. Many times love is absent and respect is barely more than a shadow. But those families refuse to be brought down by scandal. As long as people are discreet and respect the alliance, the elders turn a blind eye to small affairs.”

Shan glanced her way and squeezed her hand. “I don’t anticipate us going in that direction. I want a true marriage. Respect for one another. Affection certainly. I pray for the growth of love as we get to know each other. We just need time together. Time such as this weekend. A chance to shake off the social dictates. Time to be physically close and let our touches speak instead of our words. Hands, lips, and eyes can say so much without a word being spoken. A touch, a sigh, a blending of two bodies in perfect rhythm.” His finger stroked the top of her hand, but the expected intimacy did not appear. Instead she felt colder.

“What you say has merit. However, I’m still not sure I’m ready for that step.” Might never be. No, knowing how she felt—responded—to Drew, she knew she wasn’t frigid. She also knew Shan didn’t draw passion out of her. Knowing that, the future looked far more grim than ever.

“We’ll take it nice and easy today, Meilin.” Shan sought to soothe with his voice. “Do not feel pressured. When we come together tonight, I expect it to be with mutual desire. I don’t want you afraid of me. I want you hot for me. As I am hot for you.”

They didn’t speak for a long time. Soft, classical music filled the silence as they drove the highway leading north, twisting and winding up past Corte Madera, through San Rafael and onward.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Shan said, his hand still holding hers, his thumb rubbing over the diamond of her ring. “We’re going to relax, taste some wine, have a picnic, a nice dinner. Maybe an hour or two at the spa is a good idea.”

“I’m not really worried,” she lied. Of course she was worried to the point of making herself sick. She was also pissed at his cavalier attitude about a potential future of hidden affairs. But there was no sense in telling him so. He’d only work harder to convince her they’d be good together in bed, and be that much more anxious to get her there tonight.

And there was so much more to consider. Sex wasn’t the only aspect of this marriage contract. Although she hadn’t taken the time to read the fine print, she’d trusted that to her parents and their lawyer, there were other promises made. Promises that affected more people than just her. Her father had said more than once how happy he was about the union. But why? Not to be dismissed, there were five generations of pride at stake. And that was just the California ancestors. Never mind the Mainland Chinese ancestors. Those generations were uncountable. Briefly she wondered if her white or black friends ever felt this kind of pressure.

None of them had ever mentioned arranged marriages. Those who were married, happily and not so happily, had all chosen their mates based on the elusive idea of love, or in some cases, pure lust. A few had chosen society marriages, but even then emotion had ruled more than what was good for business, or so it had seemed to her.

“Let your worries take flight. We’ll choose wine for our wedding. We can do whatever you want.” He squeezed her hand, then pressed it down on his thigh.

She was both relieved and more agitated. At least with her hand on his leg he wouldn’t notice the sweat on her palms. On the other hand, she was awfully close to his groin. Neither situation seemed ideal to her. Instead of fidgeting, she left her hand where he’d placed it, desperately praying he didn’t move it higher.

“Do you like the idea of a spa visit?” he asked, giving her a moment of panic trying to remember what he’d been talking about. The spa. Right.

“Yes. Sounds good to me. And the picnic you mentioned could be nice if we find a place with tables under some shady trees.”

“One thing about wine country, plenty of picnic places.”

Another half an hour and Shan pulled off the highway, following a side road until it led to the parking lot of the first winery on their itinerary. She recognized the sign and relaxed a little. It was one she liked.

Shan apparently felt the need to impress her with his wine knowledge. They spent an hour in the tasting room choosing between Chardonnay and Riesling. In the end, Shan purchased a case of each. At least it was an hour out of the confines of the car.

After another stop, this time for reds, a case of a very nice Zinfandel and another of Cabernet Sauvignon joined the others in the trunk. Any more cases and they’d have to move their luggage to the back seat.

Making their way toward the Silverado Trail in Napa County, they found a small restaurant and pulled in for lunch, which suddenly sounded much better than an intimate picnic out of the public eye. Not normally a big drinker, the closer they came to their night at the hotel, the more Meilin sipped. Lunch helped buffer the buzz she had building. What would Shan say if she were too drunk to have sex? A small giggle threatened to escape, especially when Shan caught the twinkle in her eye.

Guilt and a healthy dose of disgust stabbed her as Shan reached across the table and placed his hand over hers, a definite light in his gaze as it traveled from her face to her chest pressing against the thin material of her silk tee. His fingers stroked the finger wearing his ring; satisfaction and desire lit his face, making him more handsome. No denying it. He was a very good looking man. He just didn’t warm her blood the way blond hair and blue eyes did.

“Thinking about a spa treatment?” he asked. Obviously he was thinking about how soft a mud bath and massage with oils would leave her skin, and how the treatment would relax her. There was no way he could know it would only enhance her guilt, her tension.

“No, not really. Maybe another stop. Don’t you want to visit a couple champagne cellars? There’s Domaine Chandon in addition to Mumm.”

“How right you are. Have some dessert first?”

The waiter arrived and cleared the dishes of their entrees.

“Oh, no, I don’t think so. Lunch definitely filled me up.” She grinned up at the waiter. “My compliments to the chef.”

“Thank you. I’ll pass on your kind words.” The man was a little older than the usual summer student working for tips to pay for college. He was thin with long brown hair sporting a healthy frosting of grey in his ponytail.

“Yes, excellent lunch.” Shan had to get the last word in. The man of taste and distinction, at least in his own mind.

The waiter discreetly winked at Meilin and took the dishes away.

Shortly afterward they left the restaurant.

Shan handed her back into the car. “We’ll go down Highway 29, then head back up the Silverado Trail, that way we’ll get both sides of the valley. Pick out your two favorites and we’ll finish with Mumm. Then tomorrow we can find a few more, if we’re not too tired. Sound good?” The man actually winked at her.

By the time they reached the Mumm tasting room, Meilin had a buzz going once again. More than she usually allowed herself. It helped keep a lid on her nerves as she continued to wrestle with the issue of did she or didn’t she. Sleep with Shan and lose some of her self respect, and possibly all of Drew’s trust? Or find a way to put Shan off and endure his frustration and possible anger? Would he be angry? And how would he show it? Shan was martial arts trained, but was he the kind of man to keep his reactions physically leashed or would he strike out? The unknown of both sides of her internal argument terrified her. Both choices battled with her need to please everyone. There was no pleasing anyone. So how was she going to please herself, and what, exactly, did that entail?

Shan practically pulled her from the car after parking near the tasting room door. The parking lot was crowded, and she could hear people at the picnic tables under the trees. But that didn’t really concern her. What caught her attention fully was Shan pressing her back against the car, inserting one thigh between her capri-covered legs, pressing high as he pinned her between the hot metal and his hot body.

She had no time to speak or protest as his lips covered hers, hard and insistent, his body equally hard and insistent as he pushed against her hip.

His bold move surprised her, causing her heart to leap in shock, her tongue doing its best to evade his without appearing to be avoiding him. She was able to make a protest in the form of a groan easily mistaken for a moan of passion. Exactly how Shan interpreted it, big surprise there, his hands sliding off the car to her shoulders, then down her body to her waist. Meilin’s hands were trapped between them on his chest. Was she pushing or pulling? Not even she was fully sure as her head spun from the wine and the passion rolling off Shan in tsunami-sized waves.

“Meilin,” he moaned between kisses when he took a break to change the angle of his attack.

“Shan…don’t…” she gasped.

“Don’t stop. I get it.” Once more he took control of the kiss, grinding his erection against her belly. “We can skip this stop. I already know what I want to order,” he murmured in her ear while nibbling her ear lobe. “We can head right for our room.”

“No, Shan. Stop.” The gasp wasn’t nearly as authoritative as she wished. Panic began to crawl up her spine and a faint whistling crept past the blood pounding in her ears.

“Get a room, man!”

Meilin opened her eyes enough to see a group of giggling women staggering past them into the parking lot.

“There are kids here!” someone else called out.

“Shan,” she gasped again. A little stronger this time.

“Anything you want, baby.” The growled diminutive made her cringe.

“Not here.”

“Right. Let’s go to our room.”

“No, let’s cool it down a bit. I’ve been looking forward to this stop all day.” Not particularly, but if she didn’t stop him now, she was that much closer to having to make a decision that could very well compromise every ounce of her self-respect.

Shan dragged his lips away from her neck and placed his forehead against hers. Both of them breathed heavily. Her in relief, him in dissipating passion. “Give me a minute.”

Okay, she got that. He was hard as a lead pipe, and it would probably take him several minutes to calm down enough to walk without sporting a tent in the front of his chinos. Shan’s hands moved from her hips to fold her into a hug, holding her close against his chest, his hands slowly stroking up and down her back.

Relief made her sag against him and rest her head against his shoulder. When his body relaxed, she felt the kiss he placed on the top of her head.

“You’re so much more levelheaded than I am when it comes to this attraction, Meilin. I wonder if you want me anywhere as much as I want you. Or even a little. I need something to build on.”

“This is hard for me, Shan, but I’m trying. I’ve never slept with a man unless we’d been on several dates. Not just three or four dates in a few weeks, but three or four months. This is fast for me.”

Shan hugged her closer. “Okay, okay. I get it. You’re not cheap and easy. I respect that.” A huge sigh lifted his chest and brushed her hair as he released it. “It’s okay, baby. I’m trying not to push, but I’m just so excited we’re finally spending time together. No pressure, no time schedules, no meetings. Just you and me. I promise to slow down until tonight. Okay?”

Mortified at what he obviously expected and with no good plan on how to put it off any longer, she could only nod against his shoulder, thankful her face was turned outward.

“It’s getting hot out here,” Shan said as he backed up one step, hands sliding around her body and down her arms to take her hands. “Let’s go inside and pick out a bottle or two for tonight. Wouldn’t you like some chilled champagne and strawberries tonight?”

“Yes. Yes, it sounds wonderful.” She started to wonder if she could get him drunk enough to pass out before it came time to undress.

Inside they found one small table open. So small their knees touched under it. Meilin moved hers to the side. Shan rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, taking her left hand in both of his. She wondered if he were more impressed with her ring than she was. Probably. Still reluctant to have such intimate contact with him, she felt marginally better about it with the table between them and the many tasters crowded around them.

It took awhile for their selections to be brought to them, and while she felt awkward about the silence between them, she had no more small talk at the moment. Sobriety was beginning to return, and she only wanted the oblivion of her buzz back. At least then she could smile at him with something resembling the adoration he expected. A silly, tipsy smile. God, she was starting to feel guilty for the subterfuge.

Not that Shan noticed. In fact, his state of sobriety, or lack thereof, was possibly becoming something of a concern. He’d been matching her drink for drink since lunch and now she could see the effect of the wine on both of them. Maybe a walk would sober him enough to drive safely.

Meilin felt relief that Shan knew what he wanted and was able to place his order for two cases. It would take a little time to get the order up and out to his car, so Meilin suggested a short stroll, an idea backed by the salesgirl. A tipsy, off-balance Shan was one thing, but a drunk one? No, she didn’t want to go down that road. Not until they were in the room and he might pass out before putting any moves on her. But until they reached that point, she didn’t want to worry about him driving. She certainly wasn’t clear enough to drive them. If he’d even let her behind the wheel of his fancy car.

So she took him by the hand and led him to the trees lining the walkway to the parking lot. In the shade, the temperature of the late afternoon became tolerable. Shan pulled her to a stop, his phone in one hand.