Her Unbridled Cowboy (Harland County Series) (35 page)

“If I had my way, I would have
banned him.” Once again his brothers’ tone caught his attention.

Ban the man because of what he’d
done to Connor?

The Dalton’s both turned to see who
Cole was talking about then twisted back, anger in Kade’s eyes, while Kevin’s
gaze was full of humor.

“Man.” Kevin grinned. “I would’ve
given anything to have seen Kerri dropkick his ass into that stall.”

At the mention of Kerri’s name,
Connor fastened his gaze on Kevin. His mind was trying to digest what he’d just
heard when his brother spoke up.

“Serves that SOB right. I’ll tell
you, if he ever tried something like that on Jordan…” Cole shook his head and
his eyes darkened with emotion.

Kevin laughed. “If he tried that on
Jordan, he’d still be in the hospital.”

Kade and Cole joined in the
laughter as Connor tried to get his thoughts organized into something that made
sense. He had nothing.

He turned to his brother and
frowned. “What happened between Kerri and Duke?”

“Nothing I can talk to you about,”
Cole replied. “Sorry, bro, I promised Kerri I wouldn’t.”

Like hell.
Now Connor’s
blood pressure started to rise along with dread. Had the bastard turned on
Kerri that night? He glanced at Kade, then Kevin. Son-of-a-bitch! They knew
something he didn’t. He could see it. And neither Dalton was happy.

He grabbed his brother’s arm as Cole
lifted his beer. “So help me, if there’s something I should know—”

“Oh, that’s rich.” His brother scoffed
and drank his beer. “Hell yeah, there’s something. And it’s something you
should’ve known without my help.”

Christ, his brother wasn’t making
any sense. How many beers had Cole had?

“Duke assaulted Kerri in a stable
at the fair, but she took care of him,” Kevin explained, while Cole glowered. Kevin
shrugged. “She made
you
promise, not me.”

“
What?
”
Jesus!
Duke
had assaulted Kerri? When? He’d seen them kiss, not fight. Connor felt all the blood
rush to his head. “He did
what?
” Connor demanded hoarsely again, glaring
at his younger brother.

“Don’t look at me. You apparently
had the perfect opportunity to intervene, but instead, you pigheaded idiot, you
walked away and left her there with him.”

He’d witnessed it?

As his brother’s words sank in,
Connor’s mind went back to that night. “I saw them kissing, and all I could
think was I had to get the hell out of there before I killed the prick.”

“No, you saw
Duke
kissing
Kerri,” his brother corrected.

Connor blinked. Wasn’t that what
he’d just said?

“Look, Connor, think back to it,”
Kade prompted, leaning forward. “Where were Kerri’s hands? In his hair? Around
his neck?”

Christ, he didn’t want to do this.
Pain gripped his chest in a vice.

“Come on, Connor, think,” Kevin
urged.

Kade nodded. “It’s important.”

Fine. He closed his eyes and forced
himself to recall that moment and Kerri’s hands. They hadn’t been around Duke’s
neck or back. They were…

“Shit…” He sucked in a breath.

“What?” Cole asked. “Where were
they?”

Connor’s eyes flew open. “Down at
her sides, held in Duke’s grasp.”

The bruise…
Son-of-a-bitch!
That was why her arm had been bruised and what she’d probably been trying to
tell him.

Fuck.

It felt like someone yanked the knot
tangled in his gut as the truth of that night revealed itself in his head. He
slumped back in the booth defeated by his own ignorance.

Cole folded his hands on the table
and glanced at him. “I can’t sit back and watch you do this anymore. Not all
women are Monica. You have to learn to trust again, and until you can do that,
you are going to end up alone.”

Connor knew Cole spoke the truth,
and he sat there for a full two minutes without moving as the magnitude of his
own actions sunk in, along with his brother’s words. He
should
have
known better. In fact, deep down he
had
. Something had bothered him
about that kiss, but he’d ignored it and walked away.

God…what had he done?

The words Kerri had flung at him replayed
in his head.
“I did nothing with Duke, but because your feelings for me are
getting too strong for you to handle, you saw what you wanted to see, so you
could have a means for an out.”
 
 

Ah, hell
. She could be
right. Maybe that was what he’d been doing all these years, so he wouldn’t get
hurt. Only this time, it backfired. He got hurt anyway, and it was his own damn
fault.

But worse than that…
my God
,
Kerri
could’ve been
… Inhaling, he closed his eyes and grit his teeth,
trying not to think about what could’ve happened to the sweet cook because of
his stupidity. Doing so would drive him mad.  The plain truth was, he’d walked
away when she’d needed him most. He should’ve stayed. He should’ve protected
her. His eyes snapped open.

He should’ve believed her.

Releasing the breath, he stared
into his beer and fought hard to control the emotions whirling inside him. Never
in this lifetime would he forgive himself.
Jesus,
he’d failed her. He’d
failed her big time. Anger broke through his control, and he gripped his mug
tighter. Anger for himself, for Duke, for Ashley, because it had not been a
coincidence when he’d run into the blonde at the barn door right at that exact
time.  She’d helped the bastard.
Christ.
He’d fallen into a trap, all
right.
Their
trap. Not Kerri’s.

He was such a jerk. And so was his
brother.

“Jesus, Cole,” he said, his gaze
snapping to his brother. “You knew this and weren’t going to tell me?”

“Of course I was. But you were
drunk that night.”

“What about this whole week?”

His brother shrugged. “You were an
ass. You deserved to suffer for the week.”

Kevin laughed, even Kade’s lips
twitched into a grin.

Connor blew out a breath and
sighed. “You’re right. I deserve a lot worse.”

“Don’t you think you should
apologize to Kerri?”

His brother’s voice brought Connor’s
mind back to the woman he’d hurt. For the second time. “Yes. But first, I owe
Duke an overdue visit,” Connor said, and when he spotted the bastard across the
room, he pushed against Cole to get out.

Kade leaned forward again. “I don’t
blame you for wanting to get even with that prick, but don’t do it in here.
Jordan and Kerri don’t need trouble with the police.”

“Especially on the night of their
grand opening,” Cole added before picking up the pitcher and refilling
everyone’s mugs.

Connor nodded and lifted his glass.
“Fine. I won’t do anything to him.” He took a long swallow of beer. “At least, not
in here.”

He saw Cole exchange a glance with
the Daltons, no doubt worried about the vehemence in his voice. Connor didn’t
care. He was most definitely going to have a
talk
with Carver, later.
Right now, he had more important things to take care of. He had to apologize to
Kerri. Again. He rubbed at the ache in his chest.
God
, he
needed
to apologize to her, to own up to his biggest failure, plead for forgiveness,
although he didn’t deserve squat. 

Connor avoided Duke by remaining in
his seat, talking about the calves that had been born that week, and the
stallions he and Kade had bought. Conversation he normally enjoyed. Not
tonight. Tonight it felt insignificant. Unimportant. It was just a means to
help bide his time while he waited for the kitchen to close so he could finally
talk to Kerri alone.

He didn’t expect her to be receptive
or to take him back. God, he would never ask her to. She deserved so much
better. Someone with a clear head on his shoulders, who didn’t jump to
conclusions. Someone who had faith. Trust. And that wasn’t him. At least, not
yet.

Christ
. He would never, ever
forgive himself for leaving her with Duke. For saying what he’d said to her.
His insides burned with disgust. And he doubted the burning would ever stop.

I left her there with Duke…

It’s a wonder she didn’t hate him.
He wouldn’t blame her if she did.

As Jordan approach and most of the
kitchen staff came out to enjoy the music, Connor knew that the time had come.

He left the booth and found her alone
by the sink, wiping the counter. He cleared his throat and she jumped.

“Oh, Connor, you startled me.” She
glanced at him quickly, but didn’t hold his gaze, just turned back to her task.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to.” He slowly
made his way to where she stood, wiping and re-wiping an already spotless
counter, and he cursed himself for causing this awkwardness. “I just wanted to
talk to you for a minute.”

She stopped what she was doing and
turned to face him, never quite making eye contact. “What’s up?”

“I…It seems…” He swiped the hat
from his head and played with the brim as he cleared his throat again. “It
seems I owe you another apology.”

She remained silent, but raised an
eyebrow, so he continued. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk at the fair. That I
jumped to the wrong conclusion…again. But most of all,” he walked over to her,
placed his hat down on the counter and put his hands on her shoulders and
squeezed, until she finally met his gaze. “I am
so sorry
, Kerri, for leaving
you in the barn with that…that…”

Anger resurfaced, and he fought to
hold back on the bad language that threatened to spill. The thought of all the
things that could have happened to her tore at his gut and tormented his mind.

It must’ve shown in his eyes
because she placed her hands on top of his, and stared at him with
understanding.

God, how could she possibly look at
him with anything but contempt?

“Thanks, Connor,” she said. “It
means a lot to me to know you don’t think I’m capable of the things you accused
me of.”

He was about to make a remark, but
she placed her finger to his mouth to silence him. It did that, and a whole
hell of a lot more, as the feel of her flesh touching his lips sent a familiar shock
wave through his body.

“…besides, I took care of Duke, so
you don’t have to worry about him.” She smirked.

Agony tightened the invisible vice
around his chest. “Kerri, I swear to God, if that bastard hurt you because of
my stupidity…”

He crushed her close and closed his
eyes, trying to convey what he couldn’t say. Words escaped him. She deserved
the words, but they wouldn’t come. He promised himself, then and there, he was
going to leave her alone. Just stay away from her. Forget his unending need to
be near her.

He’d brought her nothing but pain,
and she deserved better. If it hadn’t been for him, Duke would’ve left her
alone instead of using her to get revenge on him. Besides, Christ, he was so
screwed up with trusting people that he’d hurt her more than Duke had.

And more than once.

How long they stood there, arms
wrapped around each other, his head resting on hers, hers resting on his
heart—a heart she completely owned—he had no idea. Connor only knew he needed
her to be all right.

Soon, the comforting turned to
something else, and his pulse picked up as his body remembered the feel of hers
wrapped tight around him.

If he was to keep that promise to
himself, he had to put a stop to this now.

He released her and stepped back,
reaching for his hat to keep his hands from grabbing her again.  “I’m sorry
things didn’t work out for us, Kerri, but I want you to know it was in
no
way your fault.” Bending slightly at the knee, he caught and held her gaze. “You
didn’t do anything wrong. It was my entire fault and my problem. What you said
to me that night at the fair is starting to make a whole hell of a lot of sense,
but I’ll be honest with you.” He shoved a hand through his hair and shook his
head. “I’ll be damned if I know what to do about it.” Guess he had some major
soul searching to do. A slight smile tugged at his lips. “Anyway, I also wanted
to congratulation you on tonight. It was a huge success.”

She blushed. “Thanks. I’d forgotten
just how much I missed the crazy, wonderful, madness of a busy kitchen.” Her
smile brightened the whole room with a radiance that reached into his hollowed
gut and warmed some of the chill.

God, she’s so damn beautiful.

Connor shoved the hat on his head
and his hands in his pockets to keep from touching her. “Well, you did good.”
He smiled one last time. “Guess I’d better say good-bye, Kerri.”

He searched her face to make sure
she’d gotten his meaning. Some of her light disappeared as comprehension dawned
in her big brown eyes, which, heaven help him, filled with tears.

She blinked them away and nodded.

It was best for both of them if he bowed
out of their...
relationship
. She’d have a chance to find someone who
would treat her with the respect and trust she deserved. Twice now, he’d shown
her that person wasn’t him.

With an ache in his chest, Connor
touched his hand to his brim, then exited the kitchen, leaving his heart in the
hands of the sweetest woman he’d ever known. And the only one he’d ever fallen
in love with.

The realization only strengthened Connor’s
resolve to leave Kerri alone to enjoy a normal life that didn’t include him and
his inability to trust.

Now, he had a few things to say to
Duke Carver.

I
t was hard to believe
it had been a whole year since the McCall’s anniversary party. This year, they
were having a family dinner with the Masters as the only guests. Mrs. McCall
had asked Kerri to make her famous roasted vegetable orzo—a favorite of Mr.
McCall’s—and told her Emma would manage the rest of the dinner. So, Kerri was
at the market, squeezing zucchinis, picking out the perfect one when a shadow
fell across her cart.