Authors: Jill Lynn
“Then I should come up with all kinds of questions to ask you.” Graham got to his car and opened the passenger door, almost getting Lucy inside before she balked.
“Wait. What are you doing?”
“Driving you home.”
“Absolutely not.” She backed away from the vehicle. “I have my car here.”
“We'll get it tomorrow.” He nudged her into the seat. Amazingly she went, though she grumbled the whole way.
He walked around to the driver's side and got in.
She dug through her purse. “Here.” She handed him Mattie's glasses.
“Thanks.” He put them in the console. “I wondered what happened to those.”
“And I can't see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He started the car and drove out of the lot. “Why not?”
“I'm not going to see you or Mattie. I told God if He would help Mattie not to be seriously injured, I'd get out of your lives.”
Panic kicked in. “That's not how God works, Lucy, and you know it.”
She crossed her arms. Stared out the window. “I know,” she whispered, voice burdened with sadness. “But I just needed to feel like I was doing something to make her better. I just need to feel...useful. I don't like waiting for things to get better on their own.”
“I know. You're my fix-it girl. But you can't stay away from me and Mattie. We need you... I mean, she needs you.” The correction was a lie. He did need Lucy. But what could he do about it? Talk to the Wellings? They didn't show any signs of changing their minds. Tonight, even with how proud they'd been of Mattie and knowing Lucy had been the one to get her into dance, they hadn't mentioned her once. Not one thank-you. Not even an acknowledgment of all she'd done for their granddaughter.
He felt helpless. As though he had two paths before him and he wanted them both. How was he supposed to choose between Lucy and Mattie's grandparents? It was impossible. He needed to drop Lucy off as fast as possible and then run from her. Literally. Even if he had to get out of the car and sprint. Because resisting her was not something he could accomplish right now.
After a few instructions, Graham pulled into the driveway for Lucy's apartment, past the small red house near the street. He parked beside the garage, then shifted toward her.
She wouldn't look at him.
He slid a hand under her chin, gently turning her face to him. “Lucy, you're the best thing that's happened to Mattie in years. Stop beating yourself up about this.”
“I'm trying.” She mirrored his position, her shoulder against the seat, her face mere inches from his.
He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But how could he do that when he knew it couldn't go anywhere? It would be torture to feel her lips on his and never have that experience again. It had been hard enough the last time, and that lip-lock had barely registered on the kissing scale.
Graham grasped for something to veto the thoughts running through his head. The other week, Lucy had mentioned a date. Was she still dating someone? Though the thought shattered him, it would give him the strength he needed to step back from her.
“Lucy, are you dating someone?”
Relief and frustration warred at the thought.
Please say yes. Make it easier for me to walk away from you.
Although, really, would anything make that easier for him to do?
Her head swung from side to side. “Not anymore. You kind of ruined that for me.”
“I'm sorry.”
Her eyebrow quirked. “Really?”
A wry laugh slipped out. “Not really.”
When her lips curved, he couldn't tear his eyes from them. From her. “Lucy.” His voice was hoarse, pleading. “I need you to get out of the car.”
She didn't move.
“Duchess, for once in your life...” He tried to infuse humor into his tone, but it just came out threaded with desperation. “Will you please listen to me?”
* * *
He was asking her to walk away, but how could she?
Graham studied her with serious eyes, and Lucy could see the truth in their evergreen depths. Somethingâsomeoneâstill held him back. Was it Brooke? The Wellings? She only knew whatever it was would break her heart. But even still, she couldn't force herself to run for safety.
Which meant Lucy would be crushed. She should listen to Graham and get out of this car right now. She should yell about the unfairness of it all. Or cry. Definitely cry. But more than she wanted to protect herself, she wanted him.
In this moment, even if she only had this moment, she just wanted to believe they had a chance, that his in-laws or Brooke didn't stand between them.
That she was enough.
She slid one hand across his cheek, fingertips meeting smooth, close-shaved skin. He stayed still, watching her, his breathing as shallow as a Colorado creek bed during a drought. She inched forward. Touched her lips to his. Waited while indecision warred on his face.
And then her name was a groan, and he was kissing her with such tenderness that new tears sprang behind her closed eyelids.
His arms went around her, and she sank into the essence of Graham. The way he smelled, the taste of him. Her fingers roamed behind his neck, sliding into his hair.
She could drown in his kiss and not regret it.
Until tomorrow. Tomorrow, the memory would haunt her.
But tonight...tonight she planned to live in this moment.
Chapter Sixteen
“W
ait a minute.” Olivia ate a spoonful of her ice cream sundae and propped her feet on Lucy's coffee table. “So if you didn't see Graham this morning after all of that, how'd you get your car back?”
“I jogged to get it.”
Liv's head swung from watching the chick flick they'd seen too many times to count to Lucy's spot at the other end of the couch.
She looked up from her bowl of ice cream and met her sister's gaze. “What? It was only a few miles.”
“And Graham was okay with that?” Olivia tapped her spoon against her bowl, brow wrinkled. “Maybe I need to change my opinion of the man.”
“It had nothing to do with Graham. I needed my car. I got my car. I texted him I didn't need a ride. He probably thought I was getting one from you.”
Olivia rolled her eyes. “Good to know that these changes I've been seeing in you aren't all-encompassing.”
Lucy laughed.
“So, did you discuss anything after the kiss?”
Lucy set her bowl on the coffee table, digestion suddenly vetoing the idea of more ice cream. “Just that it wouldn't be happening again.” Information that hadn't come as a surprise but still hurt. Graham had told her nothing could come of their kiss.
The man had kissed her until she couldn't breathe or think straight, then tried to apologize.
She'd wanted to cry and slap him and kiss him all over again. An unusual combination. But she'd settled on accepting. Why? Because she'd known going into that kiss it wouldn't lead anywhere.
“What?” Olivia shrieked. “You can't just leave it like that.”
“Actually, we can.”
Flashing blue eyes that were an exact match for Lucy's bored into her with impressive heat.
“It's...complicated.”
“Did you at least tell him you love him?”
Good thing she'd stopped eating or Lucy would have choked. “I don'tâ” Lucy sat back against the couch cushions. “I can't love him.”
Liv's eyebrows scrunched together. “Why not?”
“I'm not...enough. There's something holding him back. And I'm certain part of it, if not all, is his in-laws. We don't stand a chance at a relationship with them between us. And...” Lucy trailed off.
“And what?”
“I'm not sure I am right for Graham and Mattie. I want them, but...what if the Wellings' obvious misgivings about me are right? I'm young and not exactly mature. Could a relationship with Graham and me even work? I mean, it's not like I'm mom material.”
Olivia let out a disgusted snort. “Says who?” She looked ready to pop up from the couch and hunt down the person who dared to offend her little sister. Bless her.
“Probably everyone. Again, including his in-laws.”
“What did I tell you about that?” With a growl, Olivia set her bowl on the coffee table. It landed with a clatter. “It doesn't matter what his in-laws think. It matters what God thinks. The Wellings are wrong, Lulu.”
Lucy had her doubts. “Even if that's true, what can I do about it?”
Silence reigned. The fact that Liv looked at a loss for answers didn't encourage Lucy in the least.
“I thought you knew everything, big sister.”
“I don't. But I have learned to pray before doing.” She grinned. “Most of the time.”
Lucy thought she had, too. But it turned out she really, really stank at asking God for help. She still struggled against the tendency to do everything on her own. And whenever she did get into the habit of praying and asking first, she always ended up snatching things back and attempting to do them herself again. Just like after the recital, thinking she could fix everything by not seeing Graham or Mattie. Why couldn't she just hand things over and trust God? Why did she think she could handle everything on her own? If the past few weeks were any indication, she definitely could not.
“I still think you love him.”
“Like you so willingly admitted you loved Cash? I remember visiting, sister. I think everyone knew you loved him before you did.”
Instead of taking offense, Liv just laughed. “Probably true. Nice try changing the subject.”
“I don'tâ” Lucy huffed, ready to deny that she loved Graham, but the words caught in her throat. She hadn't... She couldn't...
No.
The realization washed over her with a certainty she couldn't ignore. Oh, stink. How had she let that happen? She'd known not to let her feelings for Graham progress, but they'd just gone on and done their own thing, tumbling all the way to heartbreak land.
Her eyes closed. “Fine. I love him.” Guess all of that wanting him to be happy even if it wasn't with her did stem from her growing love for Graham and Mattie. Fluttering started in her stomach. “I love him.”
A smile formed, then dropped like a stone. “But I still can't have him.” She turned to Liv. “Will you
please
stop making me feel things? You're the worst sister ever.”
“And by that you mean the best?” Olivia beamed, and they both laughed, though Lucy's ended on a pathetic note. She might love Graham, but she didn't have a clue what to do about it.
As the movie progressed, Lucy's mind wouldn't settle. One tempting but nerve-racking idea kept taking hold. There was something she could do with her recently discovered feelings. She could tell Graham. Give him the words as a gift. He might not be able or willing to say them back to her...but wasn't the point of love to give it away?
* * *
Never had a text sent him into cardiac arrest before, but Graham was pretty sure the one he'd received from Lucy ten minutes ago on his way out of church had done exactly that.
I need you.
Lucy Graysonâthe girl who had turned his life upside down, the one he'd kissed two nights ago and hadn't stopped thinking about sinceânever needed anyone.
The text had included an address, so he'd replied that he and Mattie would head in her direction. Graham had asked what was wrong, but he'd yet to receive an answer from Lucy. Surely his elevated blood pressure would come down once he found out she was okay.
Graham spotted Lucy's car and parked two spots over. “Mattie, I'll be right outside the car. Just stay buckled in.”
“But I want to see Lucy.”
“You will. Just give me a sec.”
He popped out, striding in her direction.
Was she having car trouble? Another flat tire? What in the world had happened?
She was standing by the passenger door of her car. Smiling. Heart attack number two of his day.
“What's wrong?” He stopped in front of her, grabbing her hands. They were freezing, and it wasn't cold out. “Lucy, what's going on? I'm going nuts here.”
Her smile was like sunshine. He shouldn't look at it, but he couldn't tear away.
“How's Mattie?” She waved at the backseat of his car, and Mattie grinned, waving back with her non-cast arm.
“Really?” Exasperation laced his tone. “That's how we're going to play a desperate text and me finding you on the side of the road?”
“You didn't find me. I asked you to come. And I'm in a parking spot, not on the side of the road.” Again, her lips curved as though she harbored a tantalizing secret. “And, yes, that's what I want to know.”
He knew better than to fight this woman. “Mattie's great. She did way better than I expected the last two nights. We even made it to church this morning.”
“I know.” Her head tilted. “I saw you across the way, but the two of you were surrounded by a crowd.”
A rush of pride gripped him. “It's a bit surprising, but I think she might be learning to enjoy the attention.” Mattie was changing, opening up, and most if not all of the credit for that went to the woman currently standing in front of him. The one confusing him with her cryptic texts and giddy behavior.
“Smart girl.”
“So, any chance you're going to tell me what's going on now?”
Whatever it was, Lucy certainly found it amusing. “I guess.” She released a mock sigh. “You know how you walk over those grate things in the ground and think, man, it sure would be awful to drop your keys in there?”
“No.” This woman was crazy. “I've never thought that.”
“Yes, you have! Everyone has thought that.”
“Lucy.” At her name grinding between his teeth, she pointed to the ground.
“I actually did that. I stopped after church to grab a sandwich and a Diet Coke, and then
bam
, down they went.”
He glanced to where she was pointing, then bent to peer closer. Sure enough, a pink ballet-slipper keychain was wedged a few feet down in a pile of muck. A bit of trash. Some food.
When he straightened, she was beaming again. Was she going to start bouncing on her toes next? “Did you drop them on purpose?”
“No.” Her eyes widened with innocence. “It was an accident.”
“Then why are you so happy about it?”
“At first, I was just upset. I was trying to decide whether to walk homeâif I had an extra set of keys thereâ”
“Why would you do that? Of course you should callâ”
“Wait!” She held up a hand. “And then I realized something.” The look on her face softened from humor to something entirely different. She edged slightly closer, bringing with her the smell of lime and coconut. “I realized I
wanted
to ask you to help me. I wanted to be rescued. By you.”
His hand lifted involuntarily, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. “You asked for help? And you wanted to?”
She nodded.
Who knew what a heady feeling that thought could invoke? His mouth hovered way too close to hers. “I should get Mattie out of the car. She wants to see you. Plus, I have no doubt if I don't, in the next few seconds, I'm going to be kissing you.” The past two nights, he'd barely slept between checking on Mattie and thinking about that kiss from Friday night.
Kisses.
Goose bumps erupted on Lucy's arms, and Graham rubbed his hands across her bare skin. She was wearing a sundress, gray on top, colorful zigzag stripes on the bottom. As always, she looked gorgeous.
Graham had spent the past day and a half thinking about her, processing whether a relationship between them might be possible.
Was there a chance for them? The weight of that question rested on his shoulders. He couldn't tell Lucy how he felt about her until he'd dealt with the Wellings. And he wasn't exactly sure how to do that. Another thought that had kept him awake.
“Kissing.” Her head swung back and forth and those lips smoothed together. “Can't have that.”
“Unfortunately not.” Or maybe just
not yet
.
Somehow, he managed to drag himself away from her, go to his car and open the back door for Mattie. She scrambled out, shooting him a look that said the minute he'd left her in there had been far too long.
She vaulted into Lucy's arms. “Are you coming to lunch with us? Daddy said I get to have a celebration lunch and I want you to come.”
Lucy had crouched for a hug, and now she met his gaze over the top of Mattie's head. “I'm not so sureâ”
“We should celebrate two things. Mattie's dance recital and your recent...groundbreaking decision.”
Her eyes crinkled. After another Mattie squeeze, she stood, her hand still wrapped around his daughter's. A seriousness rare for Lucy tugged at her features. “Are you sure that's a good idea? I know there's thingsâ”
“It's just lunch.” That wasn't true, and they both knew it. They had things to discuss, to figure out, but he just wanted to spend a little time with her. Hollie would be back from maternity leave tomorrow, and Graham likely wouldn't see much of Lucy this week. The thought was enough to make him consider begging.
She nodded. “Okay. It's just lunch.”
They loaded into his car. “We'll have to get a hanger or something to get the keys out. So, food or keys first?”
Mattie and Lucy exchanged a grin, both answering “Food” at the same time.
“Let's go to our place, Daddy.”
“Which one's our place?”
“The one we went to with Lucy before. The one with ice cream.”
Our place.
Lucy smiled, and Graham wanted to lean over and kiss the spot where it creased her cheek. The idea of it being
their
place swept in and took hold. Graham was done trying to stay away from Lucy. If rescuing her from lost keys made him this happy, he couldn't fight how he felt any longer.
He needed to talk to Phillip and Belinda.
After the short drive there, the three of them piled out of the car. Mattie held Lucy's hand, and Graham barely resisted doing the same.
He wanted thisâthe three of them together. He just wasn't sure how to get it. Would the Wellings even listen to him?
His gut churned at the thought. Graham needed to orchestrate things right, because he didn't want to lose anyone from Mattie's life. Somehow he had to figure out how to get through to the couple.
They were almost to the register when Mattie started hopping on one foot. “Dad, I have to go potty.”
“I'll take her,” Lucy said. “Order me that sandwich again.” And before he could protest, they were gone.
He shouldn't have been surprised when Phillip and Belinda opened the door of the restaurant and stepped inside. Graham knew they ate out every Sunday after church, andâhow could he forget?âhe'd even run into them here before. Still, when Mattie had suggested it, the Wellings showing up had never crossed his mind.
Of course, he'd been preoccupied with thoughts of Lucy. She had that effect on him.
At first, the sight of them sent him into a small panic. They would be irate about him being here with Lucy after their previous conversation. But then...that fear turned into something else.