Her Soldier Protector (11 page)

He yanked the door open and secured it back so that light flooded the big barn. Candace took a step inside, then another when Logan walked ahead of her. She watched as he dropped to his haunches, before looking back at all the metal and parts in front of her. It took her a second to figure it all out, but then she realized what she was looking at, what the wreckage had once been.

“This was a plane?”

She was staring at the back of Logan’s head, waiting for him to explain.

“All my life, flying has been like second nature to me,” Logan said, not moving. “I was up in a plane with my dad as soon as I was old enough to tag along, and I got my pilot’s license as soon as I was old enough.”

Candace swallowed, trying not to hold her breath as she listened to Logan. The way he was talking, the fact that they were standing in front of a wreckage, told her that this story wasn’t going to end well. That what he was about to tell her was going to be hard to hear and even harder for him to say.

“Logan, what is this I’m looking at?” she asked.

“My parents died when the plane they were in crashed. My father had clocked up more hours flying than anyone I’ve ever met before, but the thing he loved killed him and my mom.”

“Oh, Logan.” Candace blinked away the tears in her eyes and moved to stand behind him. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I’d just arrived back into the country when it happened, and even though they were supposed to notify next of kin first, the media got wind of who it was and I saw it on the news before my sister had a chance to phone me.”

Now Candace
was
holding her breath.

“I dealt with the accident the only way I knew how, and that started with me insisting that I identify the bodies.”

She listened as he sucked back a big breath before continuing on.

“They were badly burned, so...”

Candace put her arms around his waist and pressed herself to his back, just wanting to touch him, to hold him and let him know that she got how hard it was for him to talk, to share what he’d been through. That she was there for him.

“You had all the parts salvaged, didn’t you?” she murmured against him.

“My training just kind of kicked in and I insisted on a second, independent investigation once the police one ended inconclusively. I just couldn’t understand how a man like my father could be killed doing something he was capable of doing with his eyes shut. Nothing about it seemed right to me.”

“Did they find anything?”

“Yeah, but it still doesn’t stop me questioning everything, scouring through the report and then coming in here to go over every piece of the plane myself whenever I come home.”

She released him enough that she could stand beside him, her arms still around his waist, head tucked against him.

“Yeah, but we can only deal with things the best way we know how.”

“When I dream, the terrors I have at night, it’s their bodies I see,” he told her.

She moved around his body and watched as he shut his eyes, wished she could take away even a little of the pain he was feeling.

“I see them flying, then crashing, watch as they burn alive, and there’s nothing I can do to help them. Then suddenly they disappear, and it’s my friend Sam I see, being blown to pieces in front of me, his body burning and then somehow ending up alongside my folks, so they’re all dead together.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this before?” she asked. “Someone who could help you deal with what you’re going through?”

Logan shook his head and gazed down at her. “You’re the only person I’ve let close, the only person who’s outright asked me about my dreams, and the only person I’ve ever opened up to about it.” He paused. “But I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Candace. I want to leave this in the past.”

*

Logan hoped he’d done the right thing, but after so long carrying his pain on his own, it was almost a relief to finally get it off his chest. To show someone the barn he’d kept locked for so long, to talk about his memories. Because he couldn’t hide his night terrors from Candace, not after she’d witnessed it firsthand, and he couldn’t pretend like they didn’t happen any longer, either.

“I don’t know what to say, Logan, but I’m pleased you told me.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt at peace with the world, but when I’m with you, I don’t know. I just feel different.”

“Me, too,” she said, standing on tiptoe and kissing him. “This isn’t something you need to deal with alone, and if you want to talk about your parents all night or not at all, it’s fine by me.”

Logan had a better idea. It was time he closed this chapter of his life, shut the doors to the wreckage and walked away from trying to find answers that didn’t even seem to exist.

“You know, every time I fly my plane, I think about my dad up there in the sky, and I hope he didn’t even know what happened when they crashed,” Logan admitted, walking hand in hand with Candace from the barn and only dropping the contact to shut the door. “I get a bout of nerves every time I start the engine, but then that passes and I can hear his voice in my head, talking me through every step of the process.”

Once he’d locked the door, he turned to find Candace standing as still as a statue, just staring at him.

“You okay?” he asked, forgetting his memories and suddenly worried about her instead.

“I’m fine. Better than fine.”

“You know, when I’m with you, everything else just seems to fade away.”

“Yeah, for me, too,” she whispered in reply, tilting her head back so Logan had to kiss her, so that he couldn’t think about anything else. “Everything else just seems to disappear.”

“I can’t make you any promises, Candace,” he whispered, looking down at her. “I would never hurt you, and there is nothing more I want from you than just you, but I’m not...”

“Shhh,” she murmured. “Just stop talking and let’s forget. Everything.”

Logan fell to his knees so he was directly in front of Candace, pulling her down then pushing her back gently until she yielded. He had one hand at her back to guide her down, cushioning her fall as she lay on the grass, rising so he was propped above her.

That was something he could do, something he
wanted
to do. He only hoped that she didn’t expect more from him than he could give.

CHAPTER NINE

C
ANDACE
STRETCHED
AND
pulled herself closer to Logan. She couldn’t get enough of him—not his body, not his hands on her, not the feel of being cocooned against him. And now here they were, with hardly any clothes on, lying out under the hot Australian sun.

“We really need to cover up, otherwise we’re going to fry like crisps,” Logan said, but without making any attempt to move.

“But it feels so good,” she murmured, shutting her eyes and basking in the warmth. “Just a bit longer.”

“Candace, I don’t want to ruin the moment, but I have this feeling that we’re setting ourselves up for a fall.”

She sighed, putting one hand flat to his chest and using it to prop herself up.

“Can’t we just enjoy ourselves and pretend like everything’s, I don’t know, all going to work out.”

Logan smiled up at her, and she leaned down to kiss him, loving the soft fullness of his mouth against hers.

“We can pretend so long as we both know that this is just a short-term thing.”

“I know,” she said, even though she was still trying to convince herself that she would see Logan again, that somehow they might be able to make something work. “I guess it’s just nice to believe that things happen for a reason sometimes, that everything will work out for the best, in the end.”

“This did happen for a reason,” he told her, stroking a hand up and down her back. “You changed things that had been bothering you for a long time, and I finally showed someone what I’ve had hidden here. Opened up about what I’ve been going through.”

A low bark made Candace jump. She looked over her shoulder and saw Ranger standing there, a stick dropped at his paws, and a curious look on his face.

“Is it weird that I feel funny about your dog staring at me when I’m practically naked?”

Logan sat up, reaching over for the stick and throwing it. “Yeah, that’s definitely weird.”

Candace play punched his arm but he just grabbed hold of her, a devilish look on his face.

“This is really bad timing, especially given the whole pretending we’re in a bubble conversation we just had, but I had a message early this morning from my old commanding officer, and I have to fly out in a couple of days and head to base. After that, I’ll receive my official discharge papers.”

Candace shouldn’t have expected more, had told herself time and again that this was just a temporary thing, something fun, with Logan. But knowing they only had a couple of days together still hurt.

“I guess I need to book my flight back to the U.S. then,” she said, trying to keep her voice upbeat.

“Candace, if there was any way I could just hide out here for the next week, even the next month with you, I would,” Logan told her, brushing her hair from her face. “If you want to stay here on your own for a little bit, I’ll come straight back once I’m done with work. If you need a vacation where no one will find you, this place is perfect and you’ll always be welcome here.”

“I can’t do that,” she murmured, wishing as she said it that she’d just kept her mouth shut and nodded. “The longer I put off seeing my attorney back home and figuring out my management, the worse it’ll all be. I’ve been too good at avoiding things for way too long and I need to head back and deal with it, no matter how good an extended vacation here sounds.”

She leaned into Logan’s touch, like a cat desperate to be petted.

“If we’d only met in another lifetime, or maybe in a few years...” Logan said.

Didn’t she know it?

“You know, we’re not so different, you and I,” she said.

Logan laughed. “Yeah, except for the fact that I’m a soldier and you’re famous.”

She touched his cheek with her fingertips. “You might be a soldier, but you’re also a ranch owner, and a kind, decent man. There’s a lot about your family and your wealth that I think you’ve kept from me. And besides, I’m just a singer who got lucky. At heart I’m still just a country girl with a big voice, and in my mind that’s who I’ll always be.”

Candace touched her forehead to his, eyes shut because she couldn’t bear to look into his eyes.

“But we still come from different worlds. I love the Outback and I’ve waited my whole life to come back here, and you have a life in America,” he told her in a quiet voice. “Even if we weren’t so different, we still couldn’t ever make this work. Believe me, I’ve thought it through. Too many times to count.”

Hope ignited within her, a gentle tickle that turned into a full-on flip inside her stomach.
He’d actually thought about it?
Even if it was a lost cause, she still liked the fact that he cared enough to think about them being together. She knew it was impossible, that they lived on opposite sides of the world and couldn’t possibly make anything long-term work between them, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t spent time wondering.

“So I guess we just enjoy the next two days and then part ways,” she said, needing to say it out aloud to truly get her head around it.

Logan squeezed her hand. “For the record, I’ve been more content being with you than I’ve been, well, in forever.”

Candace refused to become emotional, because they were both adults making an adult decision. She’d been with men who couldn’t tell the truth, and she knew exactly what it was like to be lied to, so the fact that Logan was being honest and open with her wasn’t something to mourn. He’d set the bar high for any other men she might meet in the future, and for that she needed to be thankful.

“Can I ask you one question before we stop talking about how little time we have together?”

Logan nodded. “Shoot.”

Candace took a shallow breath and blew it straight back out again. “If we did live in the same country, if things were different, would you want to be with me? As in, in a relationship?”

She couldn’t believe she’d even asked him that, but she had and she didn’t regret it. She needed to know.

“Hell, yes,” he whispered straight into her ear. “I can tell you, hand on my heart, that you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to open up to. You’re special, Candace, and don’t let anyone ever make you think differently.”

It was all she needed to hear. All the pain of past relationships, of men treating her like a free ticket to a life they wanted, it all just washed away. Because Logan was different, and she needed to make the most of every second in his company.

“Have I mentioned that my all-time favorite movie is
The Bodyguard?
”

Logan smiled as she looped her arms around his neck. “Any scenes you want to reenact?” he asked.

“Oh, there’re plenty,” she told him, pushing him down so she could straddle him. “In fact, we could role-play
those
scenes all day.”

“I wasn’t ever very good at drama at school, but I’m a pretty fast learner these days.”

She laughed. “Then get ready to play my fantasy role.”

And then all at once Logan had her arms pinned at her sides, mouth hot and wet against her skin. Maybe they could role-play later, because this wasn’t something she had any intention of putting an end to.

*

Logan hadn’t been so happy in years. Having Candace at home with him, on the property that was more special to him than any other place in the world, had been the best thing he’d ever done. It might only be temporary, but it had at least showed him that maybe he wasn’t as screwed up as he’d thought. Damaged, sure, but maybe not beyond repair as he’d thought,
believed,
for so long.

“So what do you say to a walk down memory lane with me?” Logan asked as they rode back to the house, side by side.

Candace gave him a lazy look, like she was ready to fall asleep. Or maybe she was just feeling as relaxed and chilled out as he was.

“What do you have in mind?”

He chuckled to himself as he thought about what they could do, where he could take her. It had been a while since he’d just enjoyed the land he’d grown up on, reminded himself of why he liked the Outback so much. Wherever he’d been in the world, no matter how much pain he’d been in or how bad he’d struggled, this was the place he visualized.

“When we were kids, my sister and I used to ride bareback to a deep water hole, tether the horses and swim. Then we’d eat the lunch Mom had packed us and chill out in the shade for a while.”

“Sounds like fun,” she said, “although maybe we should stay out of the sun for the rest of the day and do it tomorrow.”

“Deal,” he agreed. He was more than ready to put his feet up and just chill for the rest of the afternoon and evening. “We can have a barbecue tonight and sit out on the veranda for a while. Listen to the wildlife.”

Candace rode a little closer to him. “Speaking of wildlife, there aren’t any crocodiles in that water hole, are there?”

He laughed. “We’re in New South Wales, sweetheart. It’s way too cold down here for crocs.”

“Well good,” she said. “The last thing I need to worry about is my leg being bitten off.”

Logan chuckled and nudged his horse on when she tried to slow down and nibble some long grass. Candace had asked him before whether he’d want to be with her, whether they could have made things work if she lived in Australia or he in America, and he’d told her the truth. Maybe he wouldn’t have been so open if there actually
had
been a chance of things working between them, but there wasn’t, and he hadn’t seen the point in not being honest with her.

Candace had been the breath of fresh air he’d been waiting for, and thinking of never seeing her again wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. All he cared about right now was making sure they made the most of the less than forty-eight hours they had together. Because after that, she’d just be a memory that kept him going when things got tough.

*

The water was colder than she’d expected, but the feeling of swinging off an old tire that was attached to a tree overhanging the water hole was worth the initial shock factor.

“Ready to go again?”

Logan’s enthusiasm was rubbing off on her, the smile on his face impossible to ignore.

“You’re loving this whole feeling of being a kid again, aren’t you?” she teased.

He responded by pulling her back farther than he had before, letting go so she flew out over the water. Candace screamed as she let go and landed with a plop, going completely under before emerging. She moved out of the way so Logan could do the same, launching like a missile into the deepest spot, his enthusiasm contagious.

“I can’t believe how much fun this is,” he said. “It’s been years since I’ve even been down here.”

She giggled. “My fans would be horrified that I’m such a kid at heart, but yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

Logan swam to her, blinking away the water that had caught on his lashes, his short hair looking even darker as it slicked back off his head.

“Would they be horrified about this?” he asked, clasping the back of her head and dragging her body hard to his.

Candace wrapped her legs around him, and her arms, making him tread water to keep them both afloat. “Oh, I think they’d definitely be horrified. Mortified, in fact.”

“What about by this?” he asked, flicking the clasp on her bra so that the garment fell forward.

She slid her arms from the straps and watched the bra float away, wrapping her arms around Logan’s chest so her bare breasts were against his skin.

“This swimming idea of yours was a pretty good one,” she murmured as she kissed him again, nipping his bottom lip when he tried to slide the rest of her underwear off.

She refused to think about leaving, about the short time she had left with Logan, because she hadn’t been this happy in years, and there was nothing she could do to stop the clock. All she could do was enjoy being in the arms of a man who was so different to any man she’d ever met before. These memories would last her a lifetime, of that she was certain.

“What say we paddle to shallower water, soldier?” she asked.

Logan tucked her under his arm like he was a lifesaver and headed for shore. “Done.”