Her Rogue Alpha (X-Ops Book 5) (16 page)

“The attraction was mutual,” she assured him, leaning in for a kiss. “I can assure you of that.”

It was just a short, playful tangling of the tongues, but it was enough to make her body start to heat up again. When Jayson pulled back, the serious expression was still there.

“But that evening was just the beginning,” he continued. “When you started coming to see me at Walter Reed, I found myself getting out of bed a little earlier in the morning on the chance you might show up. And when I was transitioned to outpatient status, you were the one who helped me find a place to live.”

Now she was getting seriously embarrassed from all the praise and adoration. “Anyone could have done that.”

“Anyone could have, but you were the one who did it. You were the one who put up with the grouchy, medically chaptered army guy.”

“You weren’t grouchy,” she protested.

He lifted a brow.

Layla laughed. “Okay, maybe you were a little bit grouchy.”

“I was way more than that,” he corrected. “I was a total ass on more than one occasion, but you hung in there and never walked away, no matter how much I pushed.”

She caressed his stubble-covered jaw. “There was nothing you could ever do that would make me walk away. My only fear was that you would be the one to leave without ever giving me a say in the matter.”

He caught her hand and pressed his lips to her palm, his breath warm on her skin. “Thank God I was never stupid enough to do that. If I had been, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.”

She laughed and kissed him. “You mean in a bombed-out library in Donetsk?”

“No,” he whispered. “I mean lying in the arms of the most beautiful woman in the world, telling her how important she is to me and how much I love her.”

Layla almost missed the significance of what Jayson had just said, but then his words sank in. “Did you just say…?”

He grinned. “That I love you? Yeah, I said it. I love you, and I have from the first moment I met you. It just took me a while to figure it out. Though I have to admit, I envisioned it coming out completely differently—more romantic, you know?”

“I think it was perfectly romantic just the way it was,” she said, her voice a little husky because her throat was tightening up again as emotions began to pour through her.

She realized now that some part of her had become convinced that she’d never hear those words from Jayson, and that she was okay with it. She’d come to accept that it would be enough to love him, but she’d been lying to herself. She’d needed to hear those words. The joy of hearing them now, having never expected them, nearly overwhelmed her.

She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and burying her face in his neck. As she breathed in his amazing scent, tears filled her eyes. She needed the tears as much as she’d needed to hear that he loved her. She’d been holding her emotions in check for so long, it felt good to finally let it all go.

Jayson held her close, his hand gently caressing her hair. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry it took me so long to get to a place where I could say I love you, but to be truthful, I couldn’t imagine ever being good enough for you. I’ve realized that I had to tell you though. Or risk losing you. I couldn’t live with that. I’d die rather than live without you.”

Layla pulled her face away to blink at him. “You’re never going to have worry about being without me because I love you too. I have since the day I saw you at the wedding. I’ll always love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Jayson tenderly brushed a tear from her cheek with his finger, then leaned forward and kissed her. His lips were warm and sweet, and her mouth opened of its own accord to give him an all-access pass. His tongue slipped in to tangle with hers, making her moan. He tasted like the chocolate bar they’d had before going to bed last night mixed with something else that was intrinsically his and more delicious than any candy.

He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. Layla slowly slid atop him, cautiously straddling his hips. She was very careful not to put too much weight on him, worried she could hurt him. But the position didn’t seem to bother him at all, and as his hands slid down to her hips to tug her down a little harder, she couldn’t help noticing the impressive erection he had in his jeans.

She dragged her mouth away from his and looked down at him with amusement. “It seems there’s someone down there that loves me too.”

He groaned. “Yeah, that would be true. He’s definitely in love and has been from the moment we met.”

His words made her think of all the times they’d gotten close to making love but never had. Those make-out sessions on the couch or in bed had been seriously hot, and she’d felt him get hard every time. Now that she knew he’d been into her from the start, she wondered why things had never gone any further.

She straightened up, sitting back on his thighs. “Can I ask you something?” When he nodded, she continued. “Why didn’t you ever make love to me?”

The pain that flashed in his eyes took her breath away. “I wanted to—a lot of times—but then doubt would creep in. I was never sure if I would be physically capable—not just of making love to you, but pleasing you.”

Layla was taken aback by his honesty—and his stupidity. “That is the absolutely sweetest and dumbest thing anyone has ever said to me. Trust me, that hard-on tells me you’re completely capable, and as far as pleasing me, something tells me you could do that in your sleep.”

He chuckled. “You think so, huh?”

She wiggled against him. “Only one way to find out for sure, I guess.”

His beautiful blue eyes widened. “Um…you serious? Not that I’m complaining, but aren’t you worried about Dylan and the others coming back?”

She gave him a lazy smile. “I’ll keep my ears open for them.”

“You can do that?” he asked. “Make love and listen at the same time?”

“Of course.” She smiled wider. “I’m a woman, which means I can multitask.”

Deciding that they’d talked enough, Layla leaned forward and kissed him again. Jayson’s hands slid up her thighs and cupped her ass, massaging her firmly through the material of her jeans. She remembered him squeezing her bottom like this when she’d first gotten here and couldn’t help wondering if Jayson had a thing for her butt. She hoped so, since she was very fond of having his big, strong hands there.

Sighing, she let her mouth move across his scruff-roughened jaw to his ear. Jayson groaned as she nibbled on the lobe, gripping her derrière even harder. Heat flooded her midsection, and she nipped his ear before slowly kissing her way down his neck.

His pulse beat under her lips, and she ran her tongue over it. She was so caught up in how scrumptious his skin tasted that she didn’t realize Jayson had started undoing the buckle on her belt until she felt her jeans being tugged open. A moment later, she felt him push her jeans and panties down over her hips just enough for him to get a grip on her bare bottom.
Mmm
, if she thought those hands had felt good before, it was nothing compared to how they felt now.

Layla closed her eyes and buried her face in the curve of his neck with a sound that was close to a purr. She’d never had a guy pay so much attention to her ass. If they were back at her place, she could have him worship that part of her body for hours on end. But sadly, they were in the middle of a bombed-out library where three teenagers could walk in on them at any moment.

She sat up with a groan. “If we were anywhere but here right now, I’d let you do that all day. But since we don’t know when Dylan and the other guys will be back, we’d better move this along.”

He looked as reluctant to stop playing with her ass, but he didn’t protest as she pulled up her panties and jeans, then swung her leg off him and stood up. She knew she was taking a risk getting completely naked, but there was no way in hell she was going to let her first time with Jayson be a half-dressed quickie like she was a teenager in the back of a car.

If the heated look Jayson gave her as she stripped off her T-shirt was any indication, he definitely approved. Gaze locked with his, she reached around and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor. His blue eyes turned the color of a midnight sky as they caressed her breasts. Her nipples tingled under their intensity and it was all she could do not to give them a squeeze. Kicking off her shoes, she shimmied out of her jeans and panties.

Jayson stared, his expression one of awe as he took in her totally nude body. Layla had to admit there was something extremely arousing about being naked in front of him while he was still completely dressed. She’d always been a little shy in front of guys, but the way he was devouring her with his eyes right then, she felt anything but shy. In fact, his gaze made her feel more confident than she’d ever been.

He sat up, one hand gliding up her bare thigh and making her quiver. “I spent so many sleepless nights picturing you like this, but you’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

Layla blushed despite herself. Not trusting herself to speak, she took his hand and urged him to his feet, then kissed him. Her hands went to the bottom of his T-shirt, finding their way underneath and pushing it up. Being the only one without any clothes might have been a serious turn-on, but she needed him naked too. Jayson took the hint, breaking the kiss to yank his shirt over his head.

Since time was of the essence, Layla should have immediately reached for his belt, but all she could do was stare. When it came to seeing his body up close, it was something she simply couldn’t rush. It was like unwrapping a Christmas present. She always did that slowly too, preferring to savor the moment.

Jayson didn’t seem to mind as she ran her hands over his chest and shoulders. She’d seen him with his shirt off of course, but those had just been glimpses. She’d never been able to really explore. He had a beautifully muscled chest, his pecs straddling the line between bulky and wiry. His shoulders and arms were the same—thick but built more for fast movement than lifting weights.

His abs were just as spectacular. She ran the tips of her curved claws down his chest and traced them along each and every curve and twist of those muscles, then back up again.

As she did so, she couldn’t help noticing the tiny, barely visible scars where some of the frag that had entered his back had come out the front. It made her heart thud in her chest to imagine how badly those had hurt and how much damage they’d done. It was difficult to think about and a part of her wanted to stop looking, but Jayson’s scars were a part of him. They had made him the man he was today. If she wanted to be in his life, she had to accept all of him—even the scars. So she lovingly trailed her fingers over those marks, memorizing each and every one of them.

Those included the ones on his back.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, she walked around behind him. Jayson tensed, and for a moment, she thought he might stop her, but then he relaxed again.

When they’d first started dating, she’d frequently massaged his back to help ease the soreness there, but he’d always kept his shirt on. Now that they’d declared their love for each other, she refused let him hide his scars from her any longer.

Jayson’s upper back was unmarked and laden with glorious muscles that rippled as he turned his head to watch her out of the corner of his eye. The scars started at the middle of his back, running in ragged crisscross patterns all the way down to his belt line. She knew from the small glimpse she’d gotten when she’d given him massages that they continued another few inches lower. If not for the occasional markings left from his stitches, it would have looked like Jayson had been whipped.

Blinking back tears, she kissed the skin at the base of his neck as she glided her fingers down his back. Even though they were as healed as they were likely to ever get, the scars there were rougher than those on his abs. She traced each of them, silently letting him know that she loved them as much as she loved the rest of him.

To emphasize her point, she kissed his shoulders while she caressed him, alternating between soft licks and harder love bites. He shuddered and shivered under her ministrations, letting out an appreciative groan as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her breasts against his back.

Jayson reached around and rested his big hand on her hip, his fingers grazing her ass. Layla ran her hands down his abs and unbuckled his belt, then unzipped his jeans. She slowly worked them over his hips to midthigh before turning her attention to his erection. She couldn’t see anything standing behind him, but when she wrapped her hand around his shaft, she knew she was going to like what she saw.

Jayson’s hard cock pulsed in her hand, and he let out a husky sound of appreciation when she gave him a gentle squeeze. She sighed her own gratitude. The mere thought of what he was going to feel like inside her had heat pooling between her thighs.

She rubbed his cock up and down, smiling as her fingers got a little sticky when she reached the tip. He was as excited as she was.

Releasing him, she sauntered around front and saw that her fingers had failed to do him justice.

She lifted her gaze to his. “You are the perfect one.”

Then, without giving him a chance to answer, Layla wrapped her hand around his cock and went up on her toes to kiss him again. Jayson let her play for a while, but when she ran her thumb up and down the sensitive part of his shaft right below the head for the umpteenth time, he dragged his mouth away from hers with what sounded suspiciously like a growl.

“Hold that thought,” he said hoarsely.

She’d rather hold on to something else, but Jayson obviously had other ideas. She tried hard not to laugh at how cute he looked trying to get his jeans off as fast as he could. She failed of course.

Jayson chuckled too. “Hey, this is harder than it looks.”

Kicking his pants aside, he caught her hand and gave it a tug, pulling her down with him onto the makeshift bed they’d slept in last night. Layla threw her leg over his hips and straddled his lap again, but instead of his hard-on trapped beneath a layer of clothing like before, it was wedged nice and comfy between her legs.