Her Restless Heart (25 page)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

¼ pound butter, softened

1 cup sugar

2 large eggs

2 cups flour

¼ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 cup sour cream

1 teaspoon vanilla or almond extract

Topping

½ cup light brown sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Cream butter, sugar, and eggs. Add salt, baking powder, and soda together, then add sour cream and vanilla. Pour into baking pan. Mix topping ingredients, and sprinkle over the batter. Bake for 30 minutes or until done.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

3 cups flour

1 cup sugar

4 ½ teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

4 ounces chopped nuts (walnuts or pecans)

4 ounces raisins

3 eggs

2/3 cup oil

2 cups shredded zucchini

Mix ingredients (don't over-mix) and pour into 2 loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour or until done. Cool for at least 15 minutes before taking out of pans, and then cool completely on wire racks.

ab im koff—
crazy

ach—
Oh

aenti—
aunt

allrecht—
all right

boppli—
baby

bruder—
brother

daed—
dad

Danki—
thank you

dat—
father

dawdi haus—
grandparent apartment at back of home

Der Hochmut kummt vor dem Fall.—
Pride goeth before the fall.

Dumbkoff—
dummy, stupid person

Englischer—
what the Amish call us

fraa—
wife

grossmudder—
grandmother

Guder mariye—
Good morning

gut—
good

Gut-n-owed—
Good evening

haus—
house

hochmut—
pride

kaffe—
coffee

kapp—
prayer covering or cap worn by girls and women

kich—
kitchen

kind, kinner—
child, children

kumm—
come

liebschen—
dearest or dear one

maedel—
young woman

mamm—
mother

mann—
husband

nee—
no

onkel—
uncle

Ordnung—
The rules of the Amish, both written and unwritten. Certain behavior has been expected within the Amish community for many, many years. These rules vary from community to community, but the most common are to not have electricity in the home, to not own or drive an automobile, and to dress a certain way.

Pennsylvania Deitsch—
Pennsylvania German

rotrieb—
red beet

rumschpringe—
time period when teenagers are allowed to experience the
Englisch
world while deciding if they should join the church. The time period ranges in different communities but usually starts around sixteen and ends in the mid-twenties.

schul—
school

schur—
sure

schweschder—
sister

scholars—students

sohn—
son

verdraue—
trust

Wie geht's—
How goes it? How is it going?

Wilkumm—
welcome

wunderbaar—
wonderful

ya—
yes

Please don't read before completing the book, as the questions contain spoilers!

1. Mary Katherine is restless. Have you ever had a time when you were restless? Were you aware of the reason for your restlessness, or did you only find out later why you felt that way?
   
2. Jacob seems the opposite of Mary Katherine. But there's something missing in his life. What is it?
   
3. The Amish believe in traditional roles for men and women. Is that true for your family?
   
4. Do you craft or have a hobby? What is it? Why were you drawn to it? What do you get from it emotionally? What craft would you most like to learn to do?
   
5. Mary Katherine is an only child, but her cousins are like sisters to her. Do you have siblings? Is there anyone in your extended family you're closer to than a sibling?
   
6. Have you ever worked with family as Mary Katherine does? What was the experience like?
   
7. Mary Katherine thinks her restlessness means she might be happier in the
   Englisch
   world. Did you ever have a time when you thought "the grass is greener on the other side"?
   
8. What part of Amish life appeals to you most? Could you bring that to your everyday life?
   
9. Jacob has a challenging time learning to cook. What was the biggest challenge you had learning to cook?
   
10. Mary Katherine's decision to join the church feels long and arduous to her. Who do you think influences her the most and why?
    
11. Do you think God listens to you? When did you feel He didn't? What did you do?
    
12. Have you committed to a particular religion or church? Why or why not?
    

Stitches in Time is a very special shop run by three cousins and their grandmother. Each young woman is devoted to her Amish faith and lifestyle, each talented in a traditional Amish craft and in new ways of doing business—and yet each is unsure of her path in life and love. It will take a loving, insightful grandmother to gently guide them to see that they can weave together their traditions and their desire to create, and forge loving marriages and families of their own.

And now for a sneak peek into the first chapter of
Journey of the Heart,
Book 2 of
Stitches in Time,
Naomi's story.

1

S
he should be the happiest young woman in Paradise.

But Naomi dreaded being asked about her upcoming wedding. She feared she'd scream if one more person asked her about it.

Marriage in her Amish community was more traditional than an
Englisch
marriage, to be sure. But she'd never thought she'd have to change so much to please the man she was to marry soon.

Sighing, she set her quilting aside, got up, and walked over to look out the front window. Business had been brisk that morning at Stitches in Time, the shop she worked at with her grandmother and two cousins.

Stitches in time . . . and place: she and her two cousins were working together as they had played and studied together all their lives. Their wise grandmother, Leah, had bought this place and they'd all fixed it up and now they created items for sale. Mary Katherine was a master weaver, Anna knitted, Naomi quilted, and their grandmother created little Amish dolls and other crafts. They were two generations of Amish women who were bound by strong threads to each other as well as to their creativity and their community.

Here in this shop crowded with colorful quilts and hand-knitted items, with fabrics galore and every single thing you could ever need to quilt or knit or sew . . . well, she should feel she was in heaven working on a quilt and helping customers of this very successful shop with family members who loved her.

Instead, she felt more and more false, covering up how she felt, wearing a mask each day.

"Looking for someone?" her grandmother asked, smiling as she looked up from tallying the day's receipts. "Is John coming to pick you up after work?"

Everyone thought it was a sign of his attachment, his devotion to her, that he came for her nearly every day after work. In fact, it was a way of keeping track of her, of making certain that she didn't make other plans.

She'd become so cynical. It was enough to make her sigh, but she noticed her grandmother was still watching her.

"
Ya,"
she said, pasting a smile on her face.

She walked back to sit and begin stitching on her quilt. Its bright, cheerful pattern should have propped up her sagging mood with its pattern of watermelon slices and little black ants marching across it. Anna had already asked to use it when it was finished for the summer window display, along with some props to make it look like it would be perfect for a picnic.

Off she'd gone to plan what she'd knit for the display, then she badgered Mary Katherine and her grandmother for what they'd make.

Naomi glanced over at Mary Katherine when she heard quiet humming. "What are you making?"

"Some fabric for big floor pillows," she said, looking up. "You don't think this looks too . . . rough or nubby, do you?"

"I think it looks really sturdy for a kid's room. The pillows'll fly out of the shop."

Nodding, Mary Katherine went back to weaving and humming, weaving and humming.

That was what a woman who was happily married and soon to celebrate her first anniversary looked like, Naomi thought. Happy, content. Dreamy. She and Jacob were a good match. They'd been friends since they were scholars in the same school, and when he'd thought he'd lose her to Daniel, a charming Amish Mennonite man from exotic-sounding Florida, well, Jacob had woken up and shown her he was the
mann
for her.

And soon, Naomi would be marrying John. Two cousins married in two years.

Anna was still looking for the right man and enjoying flirting with several young men. The three of them—Naomi, Mary Katherine, and Anna—were cousins who looked much alike with their oval faces and brown hair. Well, Mary Katherine was taller and her hair was more auburn, but they looked more like sisters than cousins.

But their personalities were so different, Naomi mused. She'd often wished she were as outgoing and assertive as Anna or as creative as Mary Katherine, who'd even been invited to speak about her skill of weaving at the local college of arts and design.

A shadow fell over her as her grandmother carried some bolts of fabric to the storage room. She heard her talking with Anna, and then her cousin emerged, following Leah as she walked back to the cash register. Leah handed her a slip of paper and then opened the cash register and withdrew some money. Anna slipped out the shop door.

Then Leah went to stand at the shop window, and she stood there for so long, staring out with an unreadable expression, that Naomi got up and walked over to her.

"Is anything wrong?"

"No, I just sent Anna to get pizza for lunch. My treat."

"And you're watching to make sure she gets there?" Naomi asked, smiling indulgently.

"No," Leah said, shaking her head and laughing. "Although Anna
has
been known to dilly-dally."

Turning, Leah sighed. "I'm just feeling a little restless, maybe a little moody, that's all. I have to confess, I'm not usually pessimistic, but I'm not looking forward to another winter here in Lancaster."

"That's a ways off,
Grossmudder."

"I know. Just ignore me. Like I said, I'm a little restless and moody. This probably started it." She held up a postcard of a scene in Florida. "Daniel's mother's trying to get me to come down there to Pinecraft for a visit."

"Well, maybe you should this time. It'd do you some good. All you do is work here and at home."

For the first time she noticed that her grandmother—just in her late fifties—looked tired. Older.

Anna bustled in, carrying a pizza box that smelled of pepperoni. "Come on, everybody, let's eat it before it gets cold."

"Or before you eat it all," Mary Katherine teased as she got up from her loom. "I'm starved. I'm so hungry all the time lately." She stopped as she realized the three women were staring at her. "What?"

"All the time?" Leah asked, a hopeful note in her voice.

"I've been working a lot lately. It's not easy juggling a job here and being a farm wife, you know. Sometimes I forget to eat."

Anna shoved the pizza box at Naomi, who fumbled to catch it and winced as one of her wrists complained.

Walking over to Mary Katherine, Anna counted on the fingers of one hand. "You could be . . ." she trailed off meaningfully.

"Could be what?"

Anna patted her cheek. "Think about it," she said. "You're a bright girl."

Mary Katherine followed her into the back room. "Oh, honestly, you all want me to have a
boppli
so badly that you started making comments a month after I was married."

"It can happen that fast," Naomi told her.

"Yes, and we know it can happen even before marriage, no matter what community people live in."

Mary Katherine goggled at Anna's words. "You're not suggesting Jacob and I . . . anticipated our vows, are you?"

"No, dear, although some of those looks the two of you exchanged when you thought no one was looking were quite sizzling." Anna waved her hand as if she were overheated. "I wondered if flames would erupt."

She took the pizza from Naomi and sailed toward the kitchen.

"Well, she's certainly not moping around, feeling moody, is she?" Naomi remarked.

"She never is, especially this particular month," Leah noted, jerking her head toward the calendar. "I don't want to see her depressed, but there's such a thing as covering up your feelings and that can be harmful. I feel like she goes around with a cheerful mask on."

Frowning, she walked toward the back room, and Naomi followed and helped get out plates and soft drinks.

She and Anna knew all about cheerful masks, Naomi thought as she nibbled on her own piece of pizza and found it tasteless.

"Is something wrong with it?" Mary Katherine asked.

"I'm just not very hungry today." She pushed the box closer to her cousin, who took a third piece.

They chatted about the weather—it was the time of year between the too-brief Pennsylvania spring and the always long summer that drew customers. They'd be returning after they enjoyed a big Amish lunch.

Mercifully, her wedding plans weren't a topic of conversation today. She managed to force down a few bites of pizza, then covered what was left on her plate with her crumpled paper napkin. She rose and walked to the sink to wash her plate and place it in the drying rack.

"Done already?" Leah asked.

"I'm full," she lied. "I'm going to get back to the quilt. I promised it to a customer by next week."

She sat by herself and sewed the wedding ring quilt, trying not to think of how one day she and other women would gather around the big quilting frame and stitch hers.

Someone knocked on the window and she jumped. She looked up and saw John staring at her through the glass. But instead of gesturing for her to open the door they'd locked so they could eat lunch, he waved casually and walked on.

"Who was that?" Leah asked as she walked over to sit in a chair next to Naomi.

"John."

Surprised, Leah stared at her. "He didn't want to come in?"

Naomi shook her head. "He was just making sure I was here."

"Where else would you be this time of day?" Leah pulled her chair up to the quilting frame and threaded a needle.

"He likes to make sure I'm where I said I'd be." Her voice sounded flat.

Leah's hands, which had been busily threading her needle, stilled. Her eyes searched Naomi's face. "There's something wrong, isn't there? It's not my imagination."

Naomi started to say it was nothing, but her grandmother placed her hand over hers.

"Tell me," she said quietly. "Tell me."

That's all it took. The floodgates opened.

"John's turned into—into someone I don't know," she said, reaching into her pocket for a tissue. "He tells me what to do and where to be and checks on me all the time. Like just now."

She dabbed at her cheeks. "I want to be obedient and learn to be a good
fraa,"
she said. "But he—he scared me the other night."

"How?" Leah asked, her voice almost a whisper. "How did he scare you?"

Naomi couldn't look her in the eye.

"Tell me, how did he scare you?"

"I went to walk away from him, and he grabbed my wrist and hurt me."

Leah reached over and unerringly chose the very wrist John had grabbed. Naomi winced. Her grandmother didn't release it, but pushed the sleeve of Naomi's dress back, exposing the bruise.

"I thought you were favoring it," she said, frowning. She looked up at Naomi.

"It only hurts a little," she said, wiping at her cheeks again with her tissue.

"It only hurts a little there, but a lot in your heart." Leah's eyes were damp and filled with sympathy.

"He said he was sorry."

Leah pulled down the sleeve. "And how many other times has he said he's sorry?"

Sobs rose up in her chest. "Too—too many," she admitted.

There was a knock on the door. Naomi jumped.

"You go wash your face," Leah said. "Then let's go in the back room and talk."

"We don't have time. We have to work."

Leah stood. "We'll make time."

True to her word, after Leah opened the door and took care of the customer, she got Anna and Mary Katherine to run the shop while she and Naomi talked.

"You have to break it off with him."

"Maybe counseling—"

"Counseling is a good idea. For you."

"Me? I'm not the problem."

"But how you respond to John's treatment worries me. I want you to think about it." She hesitated, then forged ahead. "I know that some people who act like John can be helped, but I wouldn't count on it. And it's a terrible way to start out in a marriage. I don't want to be harsh or seem unforgiving. But it's too big a risk to take."

Naomi nodded. "I know."

"Next time it could be a bigger injury."

"I know! Don't you think I know?" she burst out. "That's why I kept it to myself."

"Which is what he counted on—so he could exert more control." Leah sighed. "And it's so important to make a good match. There's no divorce. You'd be with him until one of you dies."

Naomi shuddered and got up to take some aspirin for the headache that was pounding behind her eyes. She turned to her grandmother. "I don't think I love him anymore."

"Yes, you do," Leah disagreed gently. "Otherwise you would have spoken up by now."

The door opened, and Anna poked her head inside. "Everything okay? We heard Naomi raise her voice." She glanced at her cousin and saw the tears. "What's wrong?"

Naomi started to say it was nothing but then realized that was how all of it had started. "I'm having problems with John."

She watched one emotion after another chase across Anna's face. "I thought something was wrong, but I could never get you to talk."

"I didn't want to burden anyone."

"You thought I wouldn't understand, didn't you?" Anna asked her. "Happy, carefree Anna hasn't got the depth to understand, right?"

Shocked, Naomi stared at her. "No, I didn't think that at all. But you've had enough sadness."

"You have no idea what I've experienced," Anna said. "Maybe I haven't wanted to face it myself."

With that, she spun on her heel and went out, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"I need to go after her."

Naomi stood, but Leah put her hand on her arm, stopping her.

"Let me. I think I know what's wrong. And I've let her get away with it for too long."

Leah hurried after her, and Naomi followed, watching helplessly as her grandmother opened the front door of the shop, stepped out, and slipped and fell.