Her Mother's Daughter (28 page)

“She's not even curious about the baby at all?”

Matt would roll his eyes. “I don't talk about it with her because it gets her too upset.”

“Well, she's not being fair to you, is she? What does your dad think?”

“I think he wants everyone to shut up.”

“You'd like that, wouldn't you? I suppose you'd like me to shut up too?”

“That would be nice.”

She'd thrown a box of raisins at him.

And now here was his mother, standing at the drug counter pretending to be a nice person.

Ashley wasn't sure how she got so brave. Maybe it was because Fred needed to be protected from miserable cows like Ruth.

She walked over to the counter. “Hi, Mrs. MacLean. How are you?”

Ruth gave her the slightest of glances. “Fine.”

“Would you like to know how Fred is doing?”

Ruth looked at her. “Who?”

“Fred. Your grandchild.”

“Fred is my dog, not my grandchild.”

“Yes, and he's very nice, unlike his owner.”

Ashley noticed the pharmacist kept herself busy and didn't look up at them.

Ruth glared at her. “You're a spoiled brat. What you do with your own life is your business, but don't even think of involving me in this fiasco.”

“You are involved. You're Matt's mother and he needs you right now. Haven't you even considered what you're doing to him by behaving this way? He loves me. He loves Fred. And he still loves you for some reason. Why are you making him choose between us?”

Ruth stood there like a statue.

“Wonderful. Be like that. But I'll tell you one thing: I'll treat Fred a million times better than you treat your son.” And with that she turned around and left the store.

Ashley was still fuming when she got home, and even madder when she realized she'd forgotten the stuff she was supposed to buy. She made herself feel better by hugging Merlin. Looking at his silly face put a smile on hers.

Since no one was home, she thought she'd look at the paint chips she'd brought home a couple of days before to see what colour the baby's room should be, but when she got to the upstairs landing, the stuff they'd taken out of their bedrooms was still in the hallway. She should go through the boxes and decide what to keep and what to throw out. Ashley knew that would be a help, since both her mother and aunt worked long hours and were tuckered out at the end of the day.

As the afternoon wore on, Ashley forgot about the paint chips. She was lost in a haze of her childhood. Everything she took out of a box had a memory attached to it. A toy pig her nana had given her when she broke her arm one summer, a diary she kept in fourth grade. It made her smile to think that Maribeth was her best friend even back then. She put it to one side so she could show Maribeth when she came home for Christmas. Then there were the drawings her mother had kept, and old scribblers filled with math and writing exercises.

At the bottom of one box, she found a bundle of papers and photo albums, old ones she'd never seen before. She took them out and wiped the dust off them, taking them to her bedroom so she could sit on the bed and go through them.

There were pictures of her nana and the grandfather she never knew. Her nana was slim, not like the roly-poly woman she used to hug. Ashley looked closely at her grandfather. He had a nice face, wrinkled even then. She remembered her mother saying that was from being in the sun all day hoisting lobster traps. There were pictures of her mother and Tansy up in a tree fort. They both had long braids and missing teeth and they were smiling at each other. Ashley kept it out to show them later.

She turned the pages and came upon a picture of her mother and father. They looked young and in love. It made her happy to know that her parents had loved each other, but her heart ached to think that they had so little time together. No wonder her mother was sad most of the time. It wasn't fair. Now that she was in love with a baby on the way, Ashley felt her mother's pain for the first time.

She owed her mother a lot.

Ashley kept going through the pictures and then started to root through the bundle of papers and letters. She was so absorbed in this treasure trove she didn't hear her mother and aunt come home.

They happened to arrive at the house within a minute of each other. Bay was busy giving Merlin his supper when Tansy walked in. Bay glanced at her and then looked away.

“You might as well ask me,” Tansy sighed.

“Ask you what?”

“Why Dermot held my hand.”

Bay shrugged. “I couldn't care less.”

“Is that right?”

Bay put fresh water in Merlin's dish and turned to face her. “Yes. I admit defeat. There's no way I can win when you're here, so I've decided to bow out gracefully. It's obvious to me that Dermot prefers you, so I will accept it and move on with my life.”

Tansy shook her head. “I like it better when you yell your head off. Being a martyr is unattractive.”

“Insult me all you want, Tansy. I'm rising above your little games.”

“Dermot came to tell me he sold the Porsche. I don't know why but I got upset about it and he tried to comfort me. That's all.”

“Touching.”

“I'm telling you the truth, Bay. I haven't seen him. I haven't gone near him and he has made a point of staying away from me. We have done everything we can to make up for our lousy mistake, a mistake we didn't know we made.”

“So now you two are the injured parties. Go figure.”

Tansy sat heavily on a kitchen chair. “I'm so tired. I can't tell you how tired I am of this. Even when I try to do the right thing, it's wrong. I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to make you happy.”

“Now who's being a martyr?”

They weren't aware that Ashley had come into the kitchen until she was almost on top of them. She held a piece of paper in her hand and she was as white as a sheet.

Both Tansy and Bay saw her at the same moment. Ashley tried to speak but nothing came out.

“What is it?” Bay cried. “Is it the baby?”

“When were you going to tell me?”

Bay shook her head. “Tell you what?”

“That you're not my mother.”

There was complete silence. Bay and Tansy looked at each other and then back at Ashley.

“Sweetheart…”

“I don't want you to talk,” Ashley said in a low voice.

“But—”

“Shut up, Bay!” Ashley yelled before she turned her attention on Tansy. “Why? Why did you leave me here? Why didn't you want me?”

“Oh, Ashley…” Tansy got out of the chair and tried to approach her, but Ashley held her off.

“Don't come near me.”

“You need to calm down,” Bay said. “We can talk about this. I know it's a horrible shock.”

Ashley turned to look at her. “Shock? That's an understatement, isn't it? Tell me something. Did Nana know about this? Was she in on this little conspiracy too?”

Neither Bay nor Tansy said anything.

“So. Betrayed by all three of the women in my life who supposedly love me.”

“Ashley, please,” Bay implored. “You need to sit down. You don't look well. Think of the baby.”

“I am thinking of my baby. I'm thinking about how I'd never leave Fred.
Ever!
”

And with that, she ran out of the house. Tansy sank back into the kitchen chair. Bay held her hand over her mouth to keep herself from screaming.

“What are we going to do?” Tansy whispered.

Bay shook her head. “This is so awful. Why didn't we know how awful this would be? Why did we think we'd get away with it? I can't even remember why. And now she's going to hate me. She's going to hate both of us. I've lost her. I've lost my little girl. Oh my God, I can't bear it!”

Bay sank to her knees. Tansy got down on the floor and held her.

Ashley had to get to Matt, but it was dark, windy, and cold. She was out of breath and completely helpless. Her tears blinded her as she stumbled along the sidewalk. She had to get to Matt. He'd know what to do. She couldn't go home. Home was where people lied to you and people weren't who they said they were. Nana lied—Nana, who always made everything better, knew about this and never said a word.

Ashley got a sharp pain in her side and started to panic. She put both hands on her belly. “It's okay, Fred. You stay right there. You can't come yet.” She was freezing. She needed Matt. Finally, there was his street. The porch light was on. If she could get to that light, she'd be all right.

Almost there. Tripping on the steps going up to the door, she pounded on it. “Matt! Help me!”

Everything was blurred and out of focus. The door opened and Matt's mother stood there like a brick wall. Ashley pushed past her. “
Matt.
”

“What do you think you're doing?” Ruth cried.

“Where is he?”

“I think you should go home, Ashley, and stop being a drama queen.”

Matt ran down the stairs. “Ashley? What's wrong?”

“Help me! Please help me.” She started to fall. He caught her in his arms, picked her up, and carried her upstairs.

Ruth was shocked. She called after him. “This is ridiculous, Matt. If she's in trouble we should call her mother.”

Matt didn't bother answering. He took Ashley into his room and kicked the door closed behind him before laying her on the bed. He sat beside her and wiped the hair out of her face and brushed away her tears. “Calm down, you're okay. I'm here.”

“I don't know what to do,” she shivered. “I don't know who I am.”

“What do you mean?”

“My mother…”

“Yes?”

“She's not my mom.” Just saying the words caused a pain to shoot through her. She clenched her stomach. “Oh my God.”

“Is it the baby?”

“I don't know.”

“I need to call your mother.”

“
No
. Don't! I can't talk to her. I can't look at her. She's not my mom.”

“Ashley, you're not making any sense.”

“I don't know who my father is. No one wanted me. No one.” Another pain hit her. “Oh no.” She doubled up on the bed.

Matt yelled for his mother. She and his father rushed into the doorway.

“Call an ambulance. I think she's having the baby.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Once more, Bay found herself in the emergency room. Only this time
Gertie
was comforting
her
. After they received the call from Ruth telling them that Ashley had been taken to the hospital, she called Gertie in a panic; Bay knew that neither she nor Tansy were in any shape to drive.

To her credit, Ruth did ask if she and Ian could take them in, but Bay declined. She didn't want to be beholden to a woman who'd made Ashley's life miserable. It was only after she hung up that Bay realized she'd made Ashley's life more miserable than anyone, she and her sister both.