Her Lord and Protector (formerly titled On Silent Wings) (21 page)

He would care
for her and protect her, yes. But love her? The prospect of opening his heart
again to love made sweat bead on his upper lip.

****

Katherine wore a
white satin dress with silver lace underskirt that she and Millie had procured
from a merchant who sold ready-made clothing. It didn’t fit as well as would
one made for her, but it would have to do.

The wedding was
not what she had imagined her nuptials would entail, but she had little time to
reflect on that. Her mind was on Alex. He may as well have been a block of wood
standing beside her at the altar. Although he didn’t hesitate as he said his
vows, neither did he put any sentiment into his words.

She experienced
a sinking within her heart as she became Lady Drayton, afraid that she had made
a terrible mistake marrying a man who had made it clear that he would never
love her.

Alex studied his
wife’s anxious face that evening in their room at the London inn as they
lingered over artichoke pie and boiled mallard.

They’d kept the
conversation light and avoided any talk of their own concerns. During the
course of the meal, Katherine had filled two pages of their discussion of
London’s rebuilding, the plans for the new cathedral designed by Inigo Jones,
and the current play in the theater.

’Twould be a
pleasure to see a play again, if you’d like to go tomorrow,” Alex said with a
smile as he poured the last of the wine into their goblets.

Katherine nodded
her assent and then searched his face for an answer to some question she’d not
asked.

Their wedding
night might be what she wished to discuss, but Alex doubted it. After declaring
that he would never again marry, he’d asked for her hand. What, she surely
wanted to know, had changed his mind?

“Rochester,” he
said.

Katherine
stopped with her goblet midway to her mouth and raised baffled brows.

“I am usually
not a man of indecision,” Alex said, “but in case you are wondering, ’twas
Ellis Potts who changed my mind about marrying again. He hurt you. I want to
make you happy, to give you a good life.”

Katherine picked
up her pen. As always, her response was direct.
But not love.

He could love
her so easily. But he shook his head. “Please do not ask that of me.”

****

Katherine tried
to maintain interest on her dessert of apple cream sweetened with sugar. The
wedding night loomed ahead, and her husband didn’t love her. Did all marriages
begin like this? Would they consummate their union with a physical act that
would mean nothing to him? Would he claim her body only to beget his heirs?

The cream no
longer tasted good. Katherine put down her spoon.

Alex, apparently
seeing her action as an end to the meal, reached past the wine bottle between
them. His big hands were warm and comforting on hers. “Let us not think about
anything but each other tonight,” he said. “I want to pleasure you.”

Katherine
swallowed and made desperate attempts to remember her mother’s lecture. Something
about duty, and lying perfectly still during the act, and feeling unclean
afterwards, but also the satisfaction of knowing she wouldn’t be touched during
her monthly time of evil blood. There hadn’t been mention of pleasure. But then
again, her mother hadn’t loved her father at all.

“Lady Drayton,”
he said as if testing the words. His brow creased slightly as he turned her
palms up. “Your hands are damp.”

Katherine gazed
at her husband and smiled, unwilling to allow her tension to show. Whatever
happened, she would do her wifely part.

“Are you nervous
about tonight?”

She was nervous
about the rest of her life with this man. His cool statement that he couldn’t
love her warred with his hot kisses, but which could she ever believe?

She smiled a
little shyly, and nodded. As she thought about his mouth on hers, however, a
restlessness stirred within. Her dreams came back to her in full force and she
shivered with anticipation and ran her tongue across her lips.

Watching her,
Alex’s eyes grew intense. His long fingers played over hers across the table.
“Have you a chill?” His voice was teasing, for he knew exactly what she was
thinking, could surely see it in her eyes.

She smiled,
wider this time, as did he.

Alex rose and
stood next to her chair. “Perhaps I can help to warm you, my lady. If you
please, I shall accompany you to our bed.”

Oh, mercy. Here
it was. She nibbled at her bottom lip.

He pulled her up
to him and wrapped her in his arms. She could feel a low sound in his chest,
perhaps a chuckle. “Your heart is pounding. ’Tis all right. I will be gentle.”

She was
surrounded by him, his scent, his warmth. He simply stood and held her for a
time, caressing her back and head, until her heart began to pound not with
nerves, but with desire. A sensation grew deep within her that made her mouth
open slightly and her breath quicken.

He cradled her
head. “My wife.” He met her mouth with a long, slow kiss that tasted of wine,
his tongue moving in languorous strokes in her mouth.

He kept his
mouth sealed on hers as he lifted her and carried her to the bed, and lowered
her to it. For long moments he lay beside her, teasing her lips and tongue with
his, and then kissed her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead.

Sitting up, he
removed his boots, an intimate act to her because of what it would lead to. And
she wanted it, wanted to be with him. Her hand caressed the smooth velvet of
his black waistcoat as he half tossed the boots toward the wall and then turned
to her.

As they had
dismissed Millie for the night two hours before, Katherine still had on her
wedding dress, and the full, billowing monteau skirt spread over the bed. The
numerous bunches and points along the skirt and waist along with the minipuffed
sleeves along the arms gave Alex pause.

“You are wearing
armor,” he mused, running his gaze over the yards and layers of white beribboned
material and the hard, flat stomacher over her middle. “They do not make this
easy on a man, do they?”

Laughing
silently, Katherine began unfastening the stomacher. Alex joined in, and soon
they had removed it.

“There went your
shield,” he said, tossing it over his shoulder. He fingered the tiny satin buttons
that fastened her bodice together. “Now for the breastplate.”

A moment later,
her bodice loosened, Katherine’s lacy petticoat was revealed. Feeling suddenly
shy, she closed her eyes as Alex moved his lips over her breasts.

“So sweet,” he
sighed, and then kissed her mouth again.

He helped her to
her feet, and she stood on trembling legs as the dress puddled to the floor.
Kneeling, he reached under her petticoat and slid his hands up her legs, then
removed each white silk stocking. The erotic pressure of his fingers on her
thighs nearly made her knees buckle, but she anchored her hands on his broad
shoulders until she had lifted each foot for him to slide the stockings off.

He rose then,
his hands moving leisurely up her legs and hips and waist. Kissing her neck and
shoulders, he skimmed his fingers over the sleeves of the petticoat until it
joined the clothing on the floor.

Alex stepped
back. At his slow, encompassing gaze up her body, she almost spun toward the
opposite wall to hide herself. But then, she looked into his eyes, sultry and
dark blue with want, and all at once, every bit of her anxiety vanished.

“You are more
beautiful than I ever imagined,” he breathed.

She felt
beautiful under his gaze. And bold, now. Approaching him, she placed her hands
on his black velvet vest and spread it until it fell from his shoulders. Then,
she tugged his long linen shirt from his breeches.

Moving faster
now, his breath quickening, Alex tore at the broad folds of his cravat until it
floated to the floor in a heap of rich lace. He dragged his long white shirt
over his head.

Katherine had
never been naked in front of a man before, but right now, watching how the
candlelight shone golden on his naked torso, she had no sense of awkwardness.
Enjoying watching him, she lay down on the bed and stretched her arms lazily behind
her head.

Alex froze,
mouth open, his fingers tangled in the fabric laces of his fashionable black
petticoat breeches, bought just this afternoon for the wedding. “Oh.” The word
was a bare sound. He swallowed, then licked his lips. “I pictured you like
this. The day I couldn’t find the marriage contract.”

She arched one
brow.

“Pay no mind.”
Without another word, he jerked the laces free. The voluminous breeches fell to
his feet.

Katherine’s
breath left her. He was magnificent. Her gaze meandered down his chest and flat
stomach until it stopped at his hips. With a dismayed gasp, she jerked to a
sitting position.

He couldn’t be
serious.

“When you can
speak, you will have to tell me why you look so taken aback,” Alex said, concern
filling his face. “Have you never seen a man, Katherine?”

Katherine
nibbled at her lip and nodded her head. She had accidentally walked in on a
couple at Whitehall one evening, and none other than the Duke of Buckingham had
leaped up from the red velvet couch, his stiff penis bobbing like an actor
taking a bow. Katherine had fled the room in appall, barely registering the
Marchioness of Mansfield tugging down her skirt.

She had seen a
man, but never did she consider that they could vary so greatly in size.

Alex sat down
beside her and brushed a warm, moist feather of a kiss on her cheek. “There’s
no need to be afraid. There will be some pain, but it will pass.”

She was still
for a moment, regarding him doubtfully. Then, she lifted the thin coverlet that
was folded at the foot of the bed. Shaking it loose, she wrapped it around
herself and rose.

“Katherine?”
Alex stood with her, questioning, but she put up a hand for him to wait.

She walked to
the table where sat paper and pen, and stood for a moment, tapping the end of
the quill on her lips. How to broach the subject? Finally, she dipped the quill
into the ink.

With somber
expression she handed him the paper.

Alex looked at
it and shook his head. “What’s this?” He read her words again. “‘You need a
larger wife.’“ Understanding dawned on his face. His lips spread, then widened
into a grin.

All at once, he
threw back his head and roared with laughter.

He thought she
was joking. Katherine folded her arms and drummed her bare foot on the floor.
All the same, she was aware that this was the first time she had heard him
laugh like this, a deep, thunderous sound that filled the room and in no time
had her smiling. Still, the whole idea of this coupling seemed impossible.

“Need a larger...oh,
now there’s a good one, Katherine,” he said, and fell back onto the bed holding
his stomach.

Katherine began
to sit on the bed to await his composure, but Alex, still chortling, pulled her
down against him.

She buried her
face in the soft part of his neck and tried to plan a way out of this. How
could she convince him it wouldn’t work? While she thought about it, she noted
how clean and smooth was his neck, how carefully he had shaved for her. She
tasted him with the tip of her tongue. Slightly salty, fragrant, and very
pleasant. She squirmed against him.

His laughter
tapered off to a breathy moan as he rolled her onto her back and pulled the
coverlet from her body.

Her eyes widened
and her thighs clenched. Too late.

“Wait and see,”
he whispered, caressing her cheek. “‘Twill fit, love. Wait and see.”

She gave a
dubious nod and opened her legs a bit, squeezed her eyes shut, and waited for
him to mount her. Perhaps it would be over soon.

When nothing
happened, she opened her eyes long enough to see what he was doing. Most likely
preparing himself with his hand, as she had caught her father’s stable boy
doing one day in the corner of a stall.

Alex was doing
nothing but watching her, and the amused smirk on his lips irritated her to the
point that she grasped his head and pulled his mouth down onto hers.

He groaned
softly and parted her lips with his tongue, exploring her mouth with slow, sure
strokes. One of his hands found her breasts, and he tweaked and pulled at her
nipple until she writhed in pleasure. After a while he moved to take her other
nipple into his mouth, lapping at it with quick flicks of his tongue. It was
then that his fingers slid down her stomach and found her hot center.

Katherine
gasped, and turned to jelly. Every bit of doubt and anxiety vanished under his
deft hands.

No one had ever
told her what it was like to be loved by a man, how he could do things to her
that made her quiver and sigh in ecstasy. How his very nearness and warmth, the
slide of his naked skin on hers, could bring her to paradise.