Her Journey Begins (11 page)

   Chris starts crying.
Why is she crying? Mom never said anything about crying after feeling so good.
Brandon raises his head and looks down at her.

  
“
Chris? I
’
m sorry. We shouldn
’
t have. I didn
’
t mean to hurt you.
”
Chris moves her hands from his back, presses the backs of them to her eyes, and shakes her head.

  
“
You didn
’
t hurt me.
”

  
“
Then why are you crying?
”

With a tearful laugh Chris tells him,

  
“
I don
’
t know. I kind of feel happy and yet sad at the same time.
”

Brandon smiles down at her before rolling off onto his side and pulling her with him, he holds her close. Chris lays her head against his chest and feels his heart beating as he whispers to her.

  
“
Chris why are you sad?
”
Not wanting to move Chris keeps her head firmly against his chest.

  
“
I don
’
t really know, maybe because I
’
m not a virgin anymore. Or maybe it
’
s because so many things are going to change in the next few months. We will be graduating and you
’
ll be going off to college.
”

  
“
But college doesn
’
t start until August. We will be together all summer and then I
’
ll be home for Christmas. Chris
…
I love you. I don
’
t ever want you to feel sad.
”

Chris
’
heart feels like it
’
s going to burst with the love she feels for him. She clings to him never wanting to stop feeling his heartbeat against her cheek and starts crying softly again. Brandon holds her in his arms for what seems like hours and yet it feels like it will never be long enough.

  
“
Chris, we
’
ve got to get up and go, or your mom and dad will be wondering where we are.
”

  


      Nothing seems to have changed. There
’
s school and now instead of football there
’
s baseball practice every day. Brandon
’
s promised her they will go back to the cabin on spring break and she
’
s counting off the days until he holds her close again, feeling his heartbeat on her cheek and him throbbing deep inside her. The only thing that
’
s different is when he kisses her goodnight, holding her in his arms Brandon tells her that he loves her, and then there
’
s the fact that she worries she could have gotten pregnant.
She knows they were reckless the first time. It happened so suddenly. She hadn
’
t gone and gotten birth control pills and he hadn
’
t used a condom. Next time they need to be more careful.



   Two weeks before spring break, they are sitting on the porch swing and Brandon squeezes Chris
’
hand.

  
“
My parents want to meet you.
”

  
“
I didn
’
t know your parents knew about me.
”

  
“
Oh, they do.
”
What he doesn
’
t tell her is how they found out about her. That it was Amber
’
s mom that told his Mom when they  attended a dinner party at her house. Brandon had dated Amber a few times over the summer before he had met Chris senior year and Amber was one of the worst offenders when it came to being mean to Chris. It
’
s not that Brandon is ashamed of her. Everyone knows they are a couple, but he didn
’
t tell his parents, because he knows how his mom is and she would do everything in her power to break them up.

Chris starts her usual fidget of opening and closing her fists.

“
When do they want to meet me?
”
Deep down she
’
s scared to death.

  
“
My mom wants you to come have dinner with us on Wednesday.
”

  
“
Okay, I can do that.
”



   Using the babysitting money she has earned, Chris buys a new dress to wear. She hates to have to use that money for a dress that she will probably never wear again, but she has no other choice. Coming down the stairs, dad lets out a whistle and mom walks out of the kitchen.

  
“
Oh Chrissy, you look fantastic!
”
Barb makes a twirling motion with her finger.
“
Turn around
”

Turning around so Barb can see the back, there
’
s a knock on the door. While Brad gets up and opens the door, Chris turns back around and sees Brandon staring at her.   

  
“
Wow
”
He whispers.

  
“
It looks okay?
”

  
“
Wow
”
He whispers again.

Chris grins and lifts her eyebrows.
Maybe buying a new dress wasn
’
t such a bad thing after all.

 
“
I take it that
’
s a yes.
”

  


   Chris is a nervous wreck as they walk into the living room. Brandon
’
s dad stands up, smiles, and puts his hand out to her as Brandon introduces them. Looking up at Mr. Reed, Chris can see the strong resemblance between Brandon and him. They have the same hair color and a warm genuine smile that lights up their eyes. Brandon
’
s mom walks in from the other room and without smiling she takes Chris
’
hand in hers.

  
“
It
’
s nice to meet you.
”

Chris feels the tension the moment they sit down to eat. Trying not to be evasive she answers all of Mrs. Reed
’
s questions in the most polite way she can, even though it
’
s making her feel like a worm  being poked at with a stick that
’
s squirming this way and that, hoping it can get away.  Chris can
’
t wait for this to be over and done with.
Why did she ever agree to meet them?



   Brandon kisses her goodnight on the porch and Chris walks inside to find Barb sitting on the couch waiting for her. Close to tears Chris walks over and sits down next to her. Barb sees Chris is upset and puts her arm around her.

  
“
That bad, huh?
”

  
“
Oh mom, she hates me.
”

  
“
Chris don
’
t you think you are overreacting? She can
’
t hate you, she just met you.
”

  
“
I wished I was mom. She was so cold to me. And she knew everything about me. She kept asking all these questions about me being a foster child and wanting to know why I was attending Brandon
’
s school. How is it that some people can think they are so much better than others, just because they have fancy clothes and houses and more money?
”

  
“
Did Brandon say anything to her?
”

  
“
He tried, but every time he
’
d say something, she
’
d wave him off with a flip of her hand and tell him,
“
Oh Brandon, I
’
m just trying to get to know her. If I don
’
t ask her any questions then how am I supposed to know what type of tramp you are taking out behind our backs.
”
And just before we were going to leave Brandon had walked out of the room and she told me that she didn
’
t feel that I was the right girl for him and that if I really loved him, I
’
d let him go and find someone else in my own
neighborhood
.
”

  
“
That bitch!
”

   
“
Mom!
”

  
“
I
’
m sorry honey, but she has no right saying those things to you. What did you tell her?
”

  
“
Nothing, I smiled and walked out.
”

  
“
Oh Chrissy, do me a favor? Don
’
t ever change.
”
Barb kisses her on the forehead.
“
Well your dad is in bed waiting for me. Are you going to be okay?
”

  
“
I
’
ll be fine mom.
”

  
“
Don
’
t stay up too late okay?
”

  
“
I won
’
t. Night mom.
”



   Chris is sitting at her desk when Brandon walks in and sits down behind her. Reaching forward he tugs on her hair.

  
“
Good morning beautiful.
”

Smiling Chris tells him good morning, but doesn
’
t turn around to look at him, even though they are the only ones in class.

  
“
Chris, are you mad at me?
”

Chris turns around in her seat to face him.

  
“
No, should I be?
”

  
“
I
’
m sorry for the way my mom acted last night.
”

  
“
Brandon did you tell her all those things about me?
”

  
“
No. Amber did.
”

  
“
Amber? Why would Amber tell her all that?
”

  
“
Well Amber didn
’
t actually tell my mom, she told her mom, who told my mom.
”

  
“
But why? I don
’
t understand.
”

  
“
Chris I dated Amber a few times during the summer last year and she seemed to feel we were a couple.
”

  
“
Were you
…
?
”

With his elbows on the desk Brandon rests his chin on his folded hands and smiles at her.

  
“
You were my first.
”

  
“
Really? But you were so good.
”

  
“
Are you making fun of me?
”
He asks, smiling at her. Chris kisses him on the tip of his nose.

“
Nope
”
  Chris smiles and turns back around facing the front of the class as the other students start coming in.



  Curling up next to Brandon on the porch swing Chris feels nervous and jittery. She
’
s looking at her hands while twiddling her fingers, clenching and unclenching her hands open style. Fingers straight out, and then tap them on the palm, kind of like a one-handed clap. Brandon reaches over and takes her hand in his to get her to stop.

  
“
Nervous?
”
Still looking down at her hands, Chris smiles.