Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (25 page)

Flicking his nose again, I got close to his face. “And you’re schmexy.”

Stephen flopped me down onto the bed as I heaved a heavy sigh. As he pulled away, I grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave me, Stephen,” I pleaded.

Laying down beside me, he took me in his arms. “I won’t. I promise.”

Closing my eyes, I snuggled into his chest again. “I know you mean it. You always keep your promises.” And then the world turned black.

Chapter 21

Feather-light kisses are the only thing I could feel. I could feel his lips on my thighs, my stomach, my chest. Moaning, I grabbed a handful of his hair and fisted it tightly.
I’m dreaming. I must be dreaming
.

“Stephen,” I whispered as his kisses intensified.

In my daze, I realised I was naked. I didn’t recall ever being naked in my dreams before. It was strange, but I welcomed it. If Stephen was with me, I welcomed it.

“I want you so bad, Cassie. I always have.” I felt him lean towards me and I felt his erection. His lips crushed to mine with such severity, it took my breath away.

“Stephen…,” I said between kisses.

“What do you want me to do to you, Cassie? Tell me what it is you want?”

“Touch me,” I whispered into his mouth.

I felt his hand on my nipple and I moaned, arching my back in pleasure. I’d never had a dream quite like this before. It was so real, so rich, so intense.

“I’ve got to be inside you, Cassie. Open your legs for me. Let me feel how ready you are.”

This was definitely a first. I had never been touched there before and it both scared and thrilled me. It’s Stephen, though. He would know what to do. He would make sure I was okay. He would protect me and look after me. I know he would.

“Cassie,” he said, claiming my mouth again.

“Stephen,” I whispered into the dark, then opened my eyes, quickly realising it wasn’t a dream. This was all too real.

“Stephen?” I asked into the dimly lit room. My head was still fuzzy and, for some reason, it didn’t seem like it was the drinking. I had never felt like this whenever I drank alcohol before.

Kissing my neck, Stephen pulled back to look into my eyes. His smile was wide as I cupped his face.

Leaning down, he kissed me again, running his finger over my nipple. The feeling sent a shiver down my spine. A similar shiver to the one I felt when Stephen was with me in spirit.

But if he can only be with me in spirit, how come he was with me in body now? Why were we both naked, lying in my bed as he was kissing me relentlessly?

“Let me make love to you, Cassie,” he whispered in my ear.

“Stephen?” I asked again, but there was no reply.

I was quickly becoming confused. I didn’t know what was happening to me and it was starting to freak me out a little. Was I with Stephen, or was I dreaming?  I could feel his hands on me. I could feel his lips, his touch, his caress as he explored every inch of me, so I couldn’t be dreaming, right?

My vision clouded, my thoughts scrambled as I tried to take control. I couldn’t quite figure out what the hell was happening. I thought it would be different than this when he came to me. I never thought he would just appear in my bed, naked and ready to take me. Of course, I
wanted
him to take me, but I didn’t want it to be like this.

I was still desperately searching for answers when I felt his hand move down from my nipple towards the place that had never been touched.

Gasping, I felt my world come crashing down as a voice screamed in my head,
He’s not Stephen!

Pushing his hand away, I scrambled out of bed and pulled a sheet off the chair next to me. “What the hell are you doing?” I was still woozy, still confused, still completely bewildered.

I could see Simeon’s shocked eyes staring back at me. At first, he didn’t say anything, then quickly gained composure. “You wanted this. You asked me for it.”

Shaking my head, I began staggering across the floor. My head hurt from all the alcohol I had earlier, but this felt different.

Looking at my new alarm clock, I saw it was a little after three in the morning.

“I asked Stephen, not you, Simeon.”

Grabbing a couple pain pills from my bathroom, I quickly filled a cup of water and downed them both.

“You can’t deny what your body wants, Cassie. You’ve been keeping it to yourself for far too long now.”

What was going on? Why does my head feel so fuzzy? “Who are you?”

“I’m Stephen, the love of your life.”

Shaking my head, I wanted him to stop. “No, you’re not. You’re nothing like Stephen. You’re sick, Simeon. Stop it!”

Sitting up on my bed, Simeon sighed. “Cassie, it’s me. You can tell it’s me. Why are you pushing me away now?”

I refused to believe him. It couldn’t be him, could it? My head and my heart were having a full scale war. I wanted it to be Stephen, but I knew it couldn’t be. If it was Stephen why was he doing this to me?

Looking over at the other side of the bed, I found a blue shirt and navy trousers on the floor. Looking even further, I noticed my dress. The dress I was wearing earlier.

Walking over to his clothes, I bent down and picked them up. Motioning them to him, I scowled. “How could you, Simeon? How could you do this?”

Sighing in resignation, Simeon lay against my headboard. “You wanted me to be him. I just thought I’d play along for you.”

I was disgusted. “How could you do that? It’s sick. Just…sick!” Feeling my head spin, I held onto one of the dining room chairs. “I don’t feel too good. Did you put something in my drink?”

Looking up, I saw his hesitation. “Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you. Look at everything we’ve been through together. I’ve been there for you, Cassie. You know I have.”

It was getting worse. Now I knew he had spiked my drink. His reaction to my question confirmed as much. Now that I knew I must be right, I willed my mind to work through whatever it was. I had to be strong. I had to try and force myself past this.

“That doesn’t give you the right to pretend you’re someone else.”

I watched as Simeon folded his arms and shook his head. Now his face looked nothing like Stephen’s. Stephen never showed me anything but kindness and love. Simeon’s whole body language just looked geared up for a fight.

“Why couldn’t you have just done as you’re told?”

Feeling the fuzziness coming again, I shook my head. “What have you done to me, Simeon?”

He sighed like he was bored and frustrated with the whole thing. “I only gave you a little something to help you relax a bit. You’re always so tense and wrapped up in Stephen all the time. You needed to let lose a little.”

Feeling the anger rise, I fisted my hands. “And you thought I could loosen up with you? You sick, twisted, piece of—”

“I wouldn’t finish whatever you’re about to say, Cassie,” he said, softly.

“Or what, Simeon? What will you do?” I knew I shouldn’t anger him too much as there was no telling what he would do.

“Don’t push me. I’ve been pushed far enough. I’ve had
weeks
of sitting around and listening to poor Cassie loving Stephen, poor Cassie missing Stephen. Stephen, Stephen, fucking Stephen!”

My stomach clenched in fear and loathing for this man. I had treated him with kindness and respect whilst he was laughing at me this whole time.

“I want you out!” I demanded, willing my head to just clear up. I seemed to be able to see sense one minute, but the dizziness would come the next.

“I’m not going anywhere until I get what I deserve. You disappoint me, Cassie. You let yourself hang around with people who prefer their own sex. You—”

That certainly cleared it for me. “Whoa, hold up.” Were my ears deceiving me? “Please don’t tell me you’re going there.” I looked at his face and it told me everything I needed to know. He
was
going there.

“You know, the world is full of people like you. You sit there feeling all high and mighty because you’re an angel so that means your own shit doesn’t stink, right? Well, you’re wrong. Billy and Chris are the most loyal, loving, caring people I know. Just because they chose to be with someone that others, like yourself, don’t agree with, doesn’t make them bad people.”

Simeon threw his hands in the air in frustration. “It’s not right.”

“According to whom, Simeon? You? Oh, let’s all just do whatever you think we should do, shall we? Let’s just stop being gay because the great Simeon said so. Poof, I’m straight. Isn’t that amazing?!” I was so overwhelmed with it, I started to doubt whether all this was real. Surely Simeon wasn’t here doing and saying the things he is. Surely, as an angel, he wouldn’t think like this, would he?

“Your sarcasm isn’t exactly washing with me.”

It seems like he is.

“People like you make me sick. You act like the world is an animal kingdom. We only chose the opposite sex so we can procreate. It doesn’t work like that. What about love and companionship? Why can’t we just chose someone because we find them attractive, regardless of sex, race, or religion? What’s the harm of living your life like that? As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, why should it matter to you how people conduct their lives? It’s called freedom, Simeon. Get used to it!” Feeling my head pound, I buried it in my hands.

“That’s not the way the world goes around.”

I snapped my head back up, my eyes filled with rage. Realising he wasn’t worth the fight, I chuckled. “Oh, Simeon. Poor, stupid, deluded Simeon. You’re talking like it is a sin to live a life that doesn’t seem normal to you. Not to everyone—to
you
.”

“Well, it isn’t normal.”

“And drugging a girl so you can take her back to her flat and take advantage of her is?” I shook my head in dismay. “You know, Chris, Billy, Lisa-Marie, Catherine—they’re all wonderful people. They all work, they all pay their way in society. They all love and care for their families. They don’t commit crimes. They don’t say a bad word against anybody. They’re beautiful people, but you treat them as though they’re ugly.
You’re
the ugly one, Simeon. People like you are ugly.”

Simeon waved his hand dismissively. “I’m bored with this conversation. Quite frankly, I thought you would be a little more submissive than this.”

“Yeah, whatever shit you gave me is obviously not working, is it? Besides, you’re only dismissing me because you know you’re losing the argument. You have nothing to say about yourself, do you?”

Wobbling slightly, I gripped the arm of the chair.
Stay strong, Cassie. You can do this. Fight the drugs inside you!

“You’re so determined, aren’t you? You feel that strongly about it?” he asked.

“Of course I do. I don’t care how people conduct their lives, as long as they don’t hurt others. Shouldn’t it always be that way?” I took some deep breaths and willed myself to stay strong. Whatever he put in my drink was strong, but I wasn’t going to give in.

“Whatever you say, Cassie.”

My head seemed to clear again as I gazed upon Simeon. “You know what the most twisted thing about this is?”

“Enlighten me.” His tone was arrogant and opinionated, but I chose to ignore him.

“It’s the fact that you felt this way, but you were smiling with my friends and family the whole time. You gave Billy and Chris your blessing. What kind of person does that?”

“I’m an angel, Cassie.”

I almost laughed. I didn’t know whether it was the drugs or the fact he was being a pompous arse. I think it was the latter. “You could have fooled me!”

“You can’t talk to me like that!”

His eyes were full of rage and a fleeting concern came over me as to whether I really wanted to push him. The problem was that I was way beyond angry now to care.

“No? Really? I think I can talk to you how I like. You’re in my home, in my bed, laying your filthy hands all over me.”

“I never heard you complaining! You were practically begging me to touch you.” He scanned my whole body, making me shudder.

“Only because you drugged me! Only because you made me think you were Stephen!”

Snapping his head up, I saw a thunder in his eyes. “Well, it worked with Elizabeth!”

Gasping, I dropped the clothes on the floor and stepped back. He saw my reaction and a sudden panic rose in his eyes. “It was a joke. I was joking.”

After all this time of everyone believing it was Stephen who slept with Elizabeth, it was Simeon.

“How...how could you?”

Simeon shook his head. “You always favoured him.
Everyone
always favoured him. I looked exactly like him, but you never batted an eyelid at me.”

Confusion filled my senses. “What are you talking about?”

An evil laugh left his lips, causing me to shudder again. “Of course. You still don’t remember, do you? I thought you were starting to earlier.”

Gripping onto my sheet, I desperately tried to get my brain to work. What was it I said or did that made him think I was starting to remember? What did it all mean?

“Why are you doing this?”

“Well, you see, baby brother wouldn’t want you if I had you. If we had made love tonight, you would have been mine—not his.”

“You’re evil, sick, and twisted. I would never be yours. Ever!”

Rising up from my bed, Simeon scowled. “You see, dear Cassie, that’s where you’re wrong. If I had taken you tonight, you would have been tainted. I would have taken your virginity from you, never to return again. You would have been marked for life. That is never something you can get back!”