Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (18 page)

Chapter 15

I spent a few more hours with Billy and Chris. In that time, I had told Chris what happened. I knew I could trust him with this. I could trust him with my life if it came down to it. Life without Stephen was indescribable, but with my family around to help, it made the pain a little more bearable. I was unhappy, but I was alive. I had that to be grateful and thankful for that.

Spending time with them made me happy. They were always the two people I could come to and rely on. They sat there, listened attentively and without interruption. Billy was hearing this a second time around, but he never looked bored or let on that he may be.

In the time I was there, I stuffed myself and drank some more wine. I was starting to feel a little woozy, so I thought it best to quit whilst I was ahead. “I think I’m going to have to go now. I’m feeling a bit tired.” Chris and Billy exchanged worried looks. “I’m fine, really. I think I just need an early night. That’s all.”

Both of them relaxed. “Okay, but make sure you pop around more often. We have a wedding to plan.”

As I got up, I smiled, thinking there was nothing more I would like to do. “Of course. That goes without saying.”

After hugging them tightly, I grabbed my coat and bag, and reached for the door. “Thank you for the lovely meal, Chris. You always were a great cook.”

Chris looked smug, like he always did when I complimented his cooking. I actually liked that look on him. “You’re welcome, Cassie. Have a good rest and we’ll see you soon.”

With a wave, I was gone and the cold breeze hit me with brute force. It was dark now and all the lights were twinkling bright. Christmas was looming and I hadn’t even thought about presents yet.

Moaning, I retraced the steps back to my house. Along the way, I felt like someone was watching me. I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t seem to find anything out of the ordinary.

Shrugging, I neared the door to my flat when I heard my name being called. “Cassie!”

Searching for the voice, I was surprised to find Hamish running towards me. “Hamish?” I called, not knowing what else to say. Would he be angry with me? Will he demand to know why I never saw the evilness in Kali?

As he ran towards me, I braced myself, ready to tackle whatever it was he wanted to throw at me. I felt bad for Hamish. He was obviously smitten with her, so the news that she was a cold-blooded killer must have shocked him to the core.

As he neared the steps, a lovely smile spread across his face. I realized just how tense I was and my posture immediately relaxed.

“Cassie, how are you?”

The poor sod looked tired. Hamish was always rather handsome in a pretty way. He normally had wavy blonde locks and bright green eyes. Today, his hair seemed a little less vibrant, and his eyes were heavy with dark purple bags underneath them. It made him look a little ill.

“I’m fine, Hamish. More importantly, how are you?”

Smiling, Hamish shook his head. “You’re the one who got shot.”

“I know. It’s just that… You look tired. When was the last time you slept?”

Placing his hands in his pockets, he squeezed his arms to his body. He was obviously cold. “Look, come in for a bit. It’s too cold outside. Besides,” I said, looking around, “by the looks of those clouds, I think I can see rain coming.”

Hamish smiled and I turned for the door. I let us both in and, in no time, we were settled on the sofa with a good British cup of tea.

Hamish sipped his and closed his eyes, smiling. “Thanks. I really needed that. I’ve just come off from a double shift.”

Patting his knee, I scolded him. “Why don’t you get yourself home then? You must need the rest.” Poor guy looks like he wasn’t getting any sleep even when he was able to.

Placing his cup on the table, Hamish faced me. “You know, I’ve been meaning to come around for days. I meant to visit you in the hospital. I just didn’t know how. I felt guilty because I should have done something to prevent what happened.”

Here I was, worrying about what he thought when he had exactly the same idea. “You know what? You and I are a right old pair.”

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“When you approached me, I didn’t know whether you were going to shout at me, throw things at me, or what.” It made me laugh. I had misjudged Hamish a great deal—not that I had anything to go by. I didn’t know him that well.

“Why on earth would I shout at you? Or throw things at you?” His face was a little questioning, which was rather adorable. I didn’t want him to think I felt anything bad about him.

“I was thinking maybe you would have wanted to know why I didn’t see it. Why I couldn’t have possibly known she was the way she was.”

His face instantly relaxed, which made my heart calm a little. “She hid it well.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “She certainly did.”

Hamish sighed, and I knew that part of the conversation was over. “Have you been well?”

My heart ached when I thought of Stephen. “All things considered, I’m okay. The shoulder is healing nicely. I have the occasional twinge to remind me it’s still there, but it’s getting easier by the day.”

Hamish leaned forward to take a brief sip of his tea. “I bet it’s awkward trying to get things done.”

I chuckled. “‘Awkward’ being the operative word,” I huffed. “I am getting used to it, though.”

“How is Stephen coping with the news? I bet he was shocked, too, wasn’t he?”

I thought back to the horror we all felt when we found out Kali was, in fact, Elizabeth. “That’s a bit of an understatement, Hamish. I knew she liked him, she told me that much when we first met him, but I didn’t know the extent of it. When she found out he liked me instead, she was a little off at first, but then became rather nonchalant about the whole thing.”

I thought back to the memories of when we were children. Kali was so sweet and innocent back then. She played with me like any other child would. Little did I know she had the mind of an adult and, not only that, she harboured secrets that would, inevitably, lead to my destruction.

“You can’t help who you’re attracted to.” Hamish exhaled, bringing me back to the present.

“That you can’t, Hamish. You’re right. Sometimes, it’s good; other times, it’s bad. It depends on who it is.

“Like me, you mean.”

I instantly regretted what I said once I saw the pain in his eyes. I didn’t want to be the cause of any pain. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, reaching his hand out to mine. “I knew what you meant.”

The first thought that came to my head was,
Oh no. He’s reaching out to me
. The second thought was,
Shit. It’s already there
. By the time he had his hand on mine, it was too late. I immediately stiffened, bracing myself for the inevitable barrage of memories to come.

Rushes of memories as a boy came to me so fast, it was hard to keep up. He had lots of friends and they all seemed like they were up to no good. He was a little tear-away when he was little—much to his parent’s dismay. They were all shocked when he announced he was becoming a police officer. I think they all thought he was bound to be on the other side of the law.

Next were the memories of him and Kali. I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t want to delve into his time with her. I was still too raw from it myself. I tried desperately to ignore them and hoped they would go away, but his memory of her was strong. He was actually falling in love with her.

“Hamish, I’m so sorry,” I said, pulling my hand away. “You were falling for her.”

His eyes widened a little, but he seemed to just accept it as fact. “Yes, I was.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Hamish. I can see it in you.” I was struggling to find the right words to say what I needed to without him finding out about me. “Your life will be so much more fulfilled if you just believe in yourself a little.”

Hamish pulled his head back a little and regarded me with an amused smile. “It’s amazing how perceptive you are, Cassie. You should have been a police officer yourself,” he chuckled.

That would have always been a bad idea. With the amount of contact police officers had on a daily basis, it would have been a recipe for disaster for me. But for Hamish…

“You would make a good detective.” I could see his future. I could see him struggling with his own demons. He wanted a promotion, but doubted he was good enough. However, I could see him getting that promotion he desired. It would be something to help heal his shattered heart.

Pulling back again, Hamish shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think so.”

Needing to give him anything I could, I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. I tried to radiate as much calm as I could in order to help make him see.

Opening my eyes, I laid my hand on his arm. “I have every faith in you, Hamish. Don’t do this because you want to show others you can. Do it for yourself. You have the qualities in you to be a good detective.”

By the look in his eyes, I could see it had worked. Even his lifeless green irises were starting to glow a little bit more. “Has anyone told you that you have this knack of making people feel like everything is going to be okay?”

Smiling inside, I knew I had done it. Lord knows how, but it seemed to work.

“Everything will be okay. Trust yourself and you’ll be fine. Trust that you can do this.” He had to know he could. It was his destiny.

“Wow. You’re really itching for me to put in for a promotion, aren’t you?”

Yes, I was, and I could see it would be just the beginning for him. He just had to have faith in himself that he could do it. “I think it would be good for you. I believe it will bring you a sense of purpose and direction. I think you have lost that after what’s happened. Am I right?” I already knew the answer to that question, but wanted to approach it as gently as possible. I didn’t know whether he would get angry with me by prying into his private life. Somehow though, I didn’t think so.

“It seems you can read people well. Are you a witch or something?” We both laughed at his joke, which helped ease the tension a little. The conversation had turned serious rather quickly. I just wanted him to know he could do it. I knew this would be the start of his happily ever after.

“Nah,” I said, shaking my head with a smile. “I think I just have a good sense of people. That’s all. I just know that if you put your mind to it, you will be sitting here this time next year and I will be calling you Detective Hamish.”

Hamish looked off and smiled. “Detective Hamish… I like that.” He paused a moment, then looked back at me. “There is an opportunity coming up for a promotion. In two weeks’ time, I will have done my two years.” I could practically see his eyes dancing like an excited child.

“Well, there you go then. There’s no time like the present.”
Or his future.

He smiled, but he looked doubtful again. “Do you really think I should?”

Deciding to nip it in the bud, I thought of something that might help him get through the tough times ahead. “I
know
you should. When you sit down for that exam, just close your eyes and repeat the same two words over and over again. You’ll be fine.”

“And what two words would that be?”

“Detective Hamish, of course!”

A flurry of giggles erupted from us and we both sighed. “I’m glad I came around to see you,” he finally said.

“I’m glad you did, too. I’ll be seeing you at work soon, no doubt.” And it couldn’t come soon enough. I didn’t like sitting at home all day, brooding about Stephen.

“When are you due back?”

“Not for another week. I must say that I’m going a little stir crazy.”

“Well, it’s better that than you getting even sicker. Then you’ll have to take even more time off.”

I regarded him with a smile. “I guess so.”

I watched him a few moments as he looked around the room. He was beginning to look more and more tired again.

“You should go home and get some rest. Maybe you can visit again once all your guns are blazing, shall we say.” Joking with him, I put my fingers up in a shooting motion.

He laughed. “It’s good you can joke about guns after everything.”

“Ah, well, if you don’t try to laugh, what else have you got?” It was pointless sitting around feeling depressed about the past. I had the future to look forward to—and I hoped and prayed the future involved Stephen.

“No wiser words were spoken by a truer lady such as yourself.” Sighing heavily, Hamish rose from his seat. “I’ll be off then. Thank you for the tea, Cassie—and the advice.” He took a card out of his pocket. “Here’s my number. If you fancy a coffee one day next week, just give me a shout.”

Patting his arm, I smiled at him. “Will do. Good night, Hamish. Have a good sleep.”

Closing his eyes, he put his head back. “I think I’ll sleep for England.”

With a small chuckle, we walked to the door. When I opened it, Simeon was standing there about to knock. He spied me and smiled, but then saw Hamish.

“Hamish,” he said with a stern look.

“Hi, Stephen. I just popped around to see how Cassie was doing. I’m leaving now.”