Her Guardians: Her Guardians Trilogy Book 1 (26 page)

“I’m fine.
” I was desperately trying to drill it into his head. I smiled at him and he immediately smiled back. In that instant, my heart fluttered and the pull for Michael returned with full force.

I didn’t know how I was
ever going to get through the coming weeks.

We were soon on our way to Michael’s house,
where I told him all about what had been happening in the few days that he was away. I also let him know what I will face when I go back to work on Monday. Michael, like Stephen, didn’t like the fact that I had been snooping around for information. He was concerned for me, but I already knew what I was going to do. Whether I liked it or not, it was the only possible solution to the problem.

“So how was the course?”
I thought it better to change the subject.

“Well
, I think I know how to shoot now.” His lips curved a little, showing a somewhat cheeky grin.

“Michael Andrews, d
on’t get cheeky with me.” I told him off, but smiled along with him.

“It was good
. Pretty intense, but I liked that. It kept my mind off things and slightly halted this pull I had to drop everything and come and get you.” He paused for a moment, then frowned a little. “So…how were things with Stephen?”

“It w
as good.” I hesitated for a second. I knew it wouldn’t be enough without causing suspicion, so I carried on, “He was the perfect gentleman and he looked after me a lot more than he needed to. A lot more than
both
of you need to. I don’t see why I have to be wrapped up in cotton wool like this.”

“Well,” he
began, grabbing my hand. “It’s situations like the one with Daniel that gives us cause for concern. I bet it would have never happened otherwise.”

“I don’t know,” I sa
id truthfully. “He told me things to make me believe it still would have happened.”

Michael cringed
. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry
, too, but it’s done now. If I have to be thankful about anything, I’m definitely thankful for that. I guess I have my guardian angels looking out for me after all.” I tried to make my smile as mischievous as possible.

Michael smiled
back, but there was a hint of sadness. I think it was because he felt it should have been him. After all,
he
was sent to find me and protect me. That wasn’t Stephen’s mission. It was his.

“I’m going to go and fetch us some Chinese food.
Do you fancy that?”

“Oh yes
. Chicken and broccoli if they have it. That’s my favourite.” Michael stopped and smiled at me for a moment. “What?”

“I don’t know.
It’s just moments like this when you tell me these things... It makes me happy to know these little secrets about you. I know it sounds silly saying it out loud, but it’s just that something as simple as knowing your favourite meal could bring a smile like that to your face. It makes me feel good inside.”

My heart
instantly ached. His words were like cupid’s arrow aiming straight for my chest. I was lost. I’m not sure how I could feel like this after feeling the same way for Stephen only this morning. It was pure torture.

Time for round three!

Chapter 13

It was
Saturday night and I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about all the time I had spent with Michael since yesterday. It was quite nice today, apart from the fact that it was cold. He took me for a nice ride around Richmond, where we both sat and had a drink on the riverfront, watching the world go by. He held my hand and I smiled like the idiot that I was. I felt happy, but I didn’t deserve to feel happy. A part of me was welcoming the pain of losing them both, as it was the only punishment I needed to have.

I
t was now one o’clock in the morning and I was standing at Michael’s window, staring at the moon. I was lost in my thoughts thinking about Michael, but also thinking about Stephen.

I missed
him. I wanted him here with me and wondered whether he was out there somewhere, thinking the same. I closed my eyes and remembered watching him sleep, wondering whether he was doing that now. Part of me laughed, and the other part of me felt scared. I remembered when I said I loved him in my head that morning, and he answered out loud.

Did he really love me
, or was it somehow just one major coincidence? Deep down, I knew that it couldn’t be.

I took a deep breath
. I was remembering today and what a lovely day it had been. The bright moon and the twinkling stars were reflecting that now.

I held a beautiful red rose that Michael had
picked for me today. I inhaled its sweet scent, but it was nothing compared to both Michael’s and Stephen’s scent. That was the best aroma in the world.

S
uddenly, I was aware of a presence behind me. I instantly knew it was Michael. He wrapped his arms around me and I let my head flop back to his shoulder.

“You couldn’t sleep
, either?” His raspy voice echoed in the darkness.

I shook
my head and sighed. “I’ve been thinking how good it felt to be with you today. It always feels good to be around you.”

His hands were suddenly caressing my stomach and the feel of it was doing things to me that I didn’t expect.
The intense heat rose quickly, making my head spin. I moaned a little, letting him know how good it felt. “Michael,” I whispered, as I pulled my arm up to the back of his head. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, sighing at how wonderful this all felt.

Michael manoeuvred
himself nearer to me, causing me to look up at his face. The moonlight was shining on his beautiful features, causing me to gasp a little. Lowering his head towards my lips, he brushed his mouth gently over mine. It was almost as if he was asking permission to do so. I kissed him without hesitation and, to my surprise, he picked me up and placed me back on the bed.

I
wasn’t sure why he was doing this. I knew he would never give me what I asked for, and it would only end up torturing both of us.

My heart beat frantically as he
laid himself on top of me and started kissing me again. I could feel how hard he was and a part of me was frightened, but another part of me was so wanton that it was pushing the ugly feeling aside.

The kissing went on for some time
, causing us both to moan at times.

As it began to get to the point of no return
, I thought that Michael would pull away, but he didn’t. Instead, he lifted my top off and kept on kissing me.

“Mich
ael, what’s happening?” I didn’t know whether I was dreaming all of a sudden.

“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.
I’ve just realised that there’s nothing I could ever refuse you. If you want this, I want it, too.”

He went back to my lips
, making me moan again. I couldn’t believe he was giving in. A part of me celebrated, but another part of me wondered what all this meant to him. Surely, the Archangels would feel that what he was doing was a sin. That was something I didn’t want for him on any counts.

Snapping me from my thoughts,
Michael broke away from our kiss and moved down towards my nipples. I moaned again and gripped his hair in surrender.

Suddenly
, my vision clouded and I saw Stephen’s face. It was almost as if he was here with me, kissing me like he did that night.

Michael’s breathing became laboured as he lowered himself towards my knickers.
His kisses were all over my belly now and the feel of his mouth on my skin was almost too much. A part of me wanted this more than anything, but another part of me wanted it to be Stephen.

Once I realised this
, I gripped Michel’s hand just before he was about to relieve me of my underwear. He stopped immediately and looked up at me, worry etched on his face.

“I haven’
t hurt you, have I?” His voice was panicked, causing me to feel bad.

“No, of course not.”
He could never hurt me. The thought sounded preposterous.

“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t seem to know what to do with himself.

“Why are you saying sorry?
It’s me that should apologise.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know what I want.” The confession nearly made me gasp.

Rising off me
, Michael sat down on the other side of the bed. He sighed a little and looked out into the darkness of the room. “Stephen.”

That one word was
all he needed to say in order for us both to understand what was happening.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, letting him know that his suspicions were correct.
Who am I kidding? I was in love with two men and I couldn’t get either of them out of my head.

“It’s ok
ay.” He sighed a little. “I should have known this would happen. I blame myself.”

I was completely dumbfounded.
“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t observant enough.
Because I kept trying to avoid you when it was you for whom I was looking. Because it was obvious you liked me and I liked you, too, but kept pushing you away. Because he knew who you were straight away and swooped in to steal your heart.”

“I don’t know how you can say
these things.”

“Because he was kind to you when I wasn’t.
It was bound to happen. I went away and led him straight to you.”

“I could never ask you to give up everything you have ever achieved.”

“I know you feel that way. I also know that, with Stephen, it doesn’t matter. It’s an easy choice, really.”

“No
, it isn’t.” I started shaking my head. “I haven’t chosen Stephen at all. He’s trying to better himself. He needs to make things right and I’m never going to stand in the way of that. Just the same way I would never stand in the way of you finding your way home. It is what you were going to do anyway, wasn’t it?”

“Well, yes, but—
.”

“But nothing.
You were going to sleep with me then disappear. Leave me, never to see you again.”

“That’s not how it will be.”
His tone sounded emphatic, but I knew he was just kidding himself.

“Won’t it?”
I could feel the sudden anger rise a little. I was angrier with myself more than anything. I felt like a fraud.

He said nothing
, causing my heart to ache. He never confirmed or denied what I had said. It amazed me how I could be so high on cloud nine one minute, only to fall and drown in a sea of despair the next.

With this knowledge
, my head started to hurt. I knew I was getting myself worked up and there was only one person I could blame for all of it.

“I have a headache.”

“Can I get you something?” He had a hint of worry in his voice. No matter what, he was always there for me.

“I’ll just grab some tablets from my bag.”

“Don’t.” He stopped me, quickly getting up. “I’ve got some in the bathroom. I’ll go get a couple for you.”

Rising from the bed
, Michael disappeared for a few seconds. It was enough time for me to feel the immense pressure weighing down on me.

“
Why did this have to happen to me?” I whispered into the dark, not having a clue who I was asking. I felt downright sorry for myself.

Michael
soon returned, handing me the tablets and some water. I took both and thanked him for looking after me.

Desp
ite my little confession, he still laid beside me on the bed and pulled me to him. I gladly accepted because that’s how selfish I was. He stroked my hair and I instantly began feeling more relaxed and less tense. My head was easing through every touch, causing me to sigh contentedly.

“No matte
r what, I’m always here for you.” Michael’s hot breath was on my ear, causing me to shiver a little.

“I know.”

Grabbing his hand
, I laced my fingers through his. No matter what went on between us, I knew I could always count on him to be there.

At least for now.

**********

The beautiful lady appeared to me within a cloud. She came from the most glorious light I had ever seen. She smiled at me, her face lighting up my own. This woman was the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I had ever seen.

She seemed to float towards me as she smiled, causing me to feel lighter than air. She made me feel just as special as Michael and Stephen did, but different. I think falling in love was the difference.