Her Godfather: A Dark Romance (With FREE Bonus Book: Trapped In His World) (13 page)

“OK sweetie, I’ll catch you later. Love you.”

I lean down to kiss her on the cheek. “Love you, too. Later.”

As I step off, my phone rings. I fish it out of my bag. It’s Jason. I answer, “Hey you.”

“Hi, how was your morning coffee?” he asks.

“It’s always good, with great company.”

“Hmmm. Will you be staying with me tonight?” he asks.

I have spent almost every night at his apartment for the past three weeks. I think I need some time alone to sort through my jumbled emotions. “Um, I was actually thinking about staying home tonight.” I get ready for his protest. He gets rattled when things don’t go his way. He probably wants to punish me now, for not wanting to stay with him. He has pretty much taken over my life.

“Why don’t you want to stay at my place?” he asks softly. I don’t let his soft tone deceive me. I know he is positively seething right now and fighting to maintain his control.

“I just want to rest, that’s all.”

“Oh well, you can do that at my place. I will pick you up from work.” He makes the decision for both of us and hangs up. I let out a sigh.
Damn it.

“How was your day?” I ask Jason a little too brightly. I sit across from him in an expensive restaurant near his apartment building. We are enjoying a five-course meal. I’m not feeling very hungry though, so I just push my food around on my plate.

His eyebrows elevate at my overly chipper tone. “It was nothing special.” He studies me broodingly for a few seconds. “What about you? How is the new job?”

“My day was fine, and the job is great so far, thanks again.” He helped me to get a permanent position as a personal assistant for one of his many high-powered friends. He made sure that the job was with an elderly married man, of course. God forbid I work in close proximity with anyone young enough to be interested in me.

He grins, “You are very welcome. You look magnificent, by the way.” Of course I do. I am wearing a very costly dress that he picked out, one that stretches over my silhouette perfectly. His eyes rove over me appreciatively. I blush. No matter how much he gives me that look, I flush from head to toes every time. It’s the intensity of his smoldering eyes that gets me flustered. I still wonder sometimes if he can somehow see through my garments. I fall silent for a while. I’m not looking at him but I know he is watching me, studying my every move. I feel his eyes burning into me. “What is the matter, Navia?”

I look up and reply, “Nothing is wrong. Why do you ask?”

“You’ve barely touched your food. Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m fine, really. I just don’t have much of an appetite tonight, that’s all. Besides, it’s not every day I can pig out. A girl has got to watch her weight, you know,” I joke weakly.

“You don’t need to watch anything. You’re perfect,” he states, still holding my gaze. There is genuine concern on his face.

I smile. One of the things I love about him is how he always makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. Until we reach the bedroom and he brings out the ropes and whip. During that time I just feel like a cheap whore that he can use and throw away. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

“Are you ready?” he asks ten minutes later.

“Sure,” I answer. We might as well leave since I’m not eating.

Chapter Seven

Jason drives in the direction of his home. I don’t bother to remind him that I said I wanted to go to my place tonight. My guess is that he does remember, but chooses to disregard my wish. I’m really not in the mood for an argument with him at the moment, so I remain silent. I rest my head against the seat and relax. I close my eyes, in hopes of thwarting the headache that I have felt building up all day. He glances at me from time to time, but I continue to pretend not to notice.

“Navia, we are here.” I jump awake at the sound of his voice. We are in the underground parking lot of his building. I must have dozed off. Wow, I guess I’m more tired than I thought. I really need to start sleeping at night. “I can see that you were serious about needing to rest,” Jason says, glancing at me. It’s like I thought, he did remember that I wanted to go home.

I glare daggers at him. “Of course I was serious. So, why didn’t you take me home, Jason?” I ask, feeling irate.

He grins sheepishly, “I really wanted you with me. I’m sorry.”

I roll my eyes, “It doesn’t matter now. I’m here already, so let’s just go in.”

We wait for the elevator to reach his floor. “You are angry with me,” he observes.

“No, I’m over it, really.” I avoid his gaze. I am still a bit miffed that he just so easily ignored my wishes. But I really am calming down a little. Before the elevator reaches the top floor, Jason pulls me to him. I shriek and stumble into him.

“Let me take your mind off of going home,” he whispers. He covers my lips, kissing me passionately. I quickly melt into him, forgetting about my initial anger. I wound my arms around his neck, pressing my body into his. He places his hands on my bottom and lifts me to him. The elevator comes to a stop, forcing us to pull apart and exit.

My chest heaves as I puff out uneven breaths. “Let’s hurry and get inside,” Jason says roughly. “I want you now.”

Before he even gets the door open, he lifts me onto him and I instantly wrap my legs around his waist. I‘m grateful for the long split in the side of my dress that gives me the freedom to move my legs.

He takes long strides to the bedroom. Once inside, he lowers me to my feet and unzips my dress. It falls in a puddle around my feet. He pulls back to look at me, clad in only my underwear. “Absolutely magnificent,” he breathes. I smile slightly, reveling in his male appreciation. “Lay down,” he commands.  I move hesitantly to lie on his king-sized bed. I pray that he does not take out the rope and the whip. To my disappointment, he walks to his closet. My heart drops, and the desire I felt quickly dissipates. I catch sight of his weapons of torture and I bolt out of the bed. “No!” I shout.

His startled gaze lands on my face. “What is the matter, Navia?”

I motion to the restraints in his hands. “I can’t anymore, Jason.”

He stiffens. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice laced with confusion.

“I won’t let you hurt me anymore.”

His expression darkens; he drops the contents in his hand and steps toward me. I take a few steps back, afraid of what I see in his eyes. “I suppose you think I’m some kind of monster, then?”

I shake my head, “I never said that. Don’t twist my words.” He stops to stand in front of me and I try not to cower before his much larger frame. “I just can’t do it anymore. Sometimes it’s too much and sometimes you take things too far. Sometimes you really hurt me, and it is as if you don’t care.” My hands fly to my neck to rub at the skin. His eyes follow my movement. Flashes of how hard it is for me to breathe when he tightens his fingers around my neck assail me. I remember the fear that I feel at times, thinking that he might actually kill me.

“But you know it’s not like that, Navia, you know that I don’t intentionally want to hurt you,” he explains softly.

“But you enjoy that kind of thing. You enjoy inflicting pain on women.”

Shadows flit across his features. “Well, I can’t deny that I do.”

I lift my eyes to meet his again, “I had hopes of you changing. I know you can be gentle. I’ve seen you exhibit gentleness several times. Why can’t you just behave like that all the time? Is it really so hard to be gentle?”

He snorts, “So you have been trying to change me, have you? You should have said something before so I could have stopped you from wasting your time.”

“It’s quite alright, I realized my mistake,” I hiss. I am angered by his refusal to even try to change his ways. But I suppose I deserve the disappointment. Who am I to judge someone and try to change them? Everyone has a right to live their lives and do whatever they want, Jason included. The thought of changing him should never have crossed my mind. He has to want the change for himself, which is the only way the process will have any chance of being successful.

“Is that the only reason why you gave me a chance? Is that why you didn’t leave after the first time I showed you what I really was?” he inquires.

Guilty
. “I— yes it is. I hope that you would,” I answer.

“If you knew there was no hope for me, is there even a small part of you that would have stayed?”

I look at him intently as I consider his question. I finally nod slowly, “Yes,” I whisper. “I was genuinely attracted to you from the first day I laid eyes on you.  Even after how you treated me in your office that first day, the attraction was still there. So yes, there is the probability I would have stayed anyway.”

“Do you want to leave me now?”

My eyes lower to the floor. I don’t want to, but I have to for my sake. I nod, “I do.”

He sucks in a breath. “I’m not going to just let you go, Navia,” he says. I detect the steel undertone in his voice and I shiver. I believe him; he isn’t going to just let me leave. I should have known that. He probably sees me as his property now, what with the way he has been running my life for weeks.

“I really don’t want to leave, Jason, but you leave me no choice.” Maybe it isn’t even him. Maybe some sick part of me wants to stay and put up with his wicked ways.

“You can’t leave. I-I’ve fallen in love with you.” The words he utters are so low, it is as if he didn’t intend for me to hear them. But I did hear them. I freeze, my mouth drops open and my eyes swing to his in disbelief. Maybe I just imagined that he said the word. I draw in a breath. He says it again, louder this time, “I have fallen in love with you.” He lets out a laugh and shakes his head; he can’t seem to believe it himself. He looks at me with a mixture of wonder and amazement.  “That is something I have never done. I have never fallen in love with anyone. It just crept up on me, I suppose.”

I still haven’t moved. I don’t know what to do with his confession. I should tell him that I feel the same way. “It must have crept up on me too, then. I love you, too.” We are both silent, looking at each other. We are each waiting for the other to speak. I look him in the eyes. “Please Jason, if you really love me, tell me why you like to hurt women. Don’t leave me in the dark anymore. Help me to understand.” His twisted desires have to stem from somewhere. Perhaps if I know the root of the problem, I can better help him. What, am I still thinking about helping him? He has already told me that he is not going to change.

He takes a deep breath and sits on the bed. “I have never shared my past with anyone before.”

“You can start with me,” I encourage. “I really do love you, Jason. I won’t judge you because of your past, I promise.” I sit beside him. He doesn’t look at me. He is staring at the floor as if he has already started the journey into his past, in his mind. I wait silently, willing him not to change his mind and shut down on me. I really need to know where his dark depravity comes from.

He finally speaks, his tone so low, I have to strain my ear to hear. “I used to be abused.” He swallows, as if finding it hard to continue. “I suffered for years at the hands of my own mother. She abused me sexually, and she took pleasure in beating me, until one day I couldn’t take it anymore, and I attempted to kill her.” He turns slowly to pin me with his gaze. He is waiting to see my reaction.

I blink several times and take several breaths. Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting anything like that. “Uh, how old were you?”

He is taken aback by my calm reaction. I really don’t know why he is shocked. It is a lot to take in, but I did promise him I wouldn’t judge. “When I tried to end her life?” I nod. “I was sixteen.”

“H-how did you try to um… kill her?”

His lips twist in irony, “I tried to strangle her. I wanted her to look into my eyes as she died. I wanted her to know why I was doing it.”

My hands fly to my neck. Well, that most certainly explains a lot. “So, you stopped? It sounds like you didn’t go through with it.”

“No, I didn’t get to finish the job. A neighbor heard the commotion and called the police. Of course, they arrived before I could watch the life disappear from her eyes.”

I shiver at his cold words. It doesn’t even sound like he has any remorse. I suppose he can’t be blamed; the woman did abuse him for only God knows how long. What kind of monster sexually abuses and beats her own child? “What happened after the police arrived?”

“I was charged with attempted murder, of course, but as a minor I did time in a juvenile detention center for two years. I did tell my side of the story, and mother dearest was charged with child abuse and battery, and she is a registered sex offender.”

“Where was your father?”

He shrugs, “Who knows? He disappeared when I was five years old. That is when the abuse started. Now that I am older, I guess I can understand that the woman was mentally ill. Maybe the stress of my father abandoning her with a young child set her off.”

He stiffens when I wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.”  He finally relaxes in my embrace.

“You must really think I’m a monster now,” he says lowly.

“Not at all. Well, it certainly does explain your… twisted ways, but I don’t think any differently of you. I think you are incredibly strong to have survived all of that.” He is no monster, just a wounded soul that hasn’t quite begun to heal. “Is she still alive?”

“I suspect she is. I never really cared enough to find out what became of her.” He extracts himself from my grip and stands up. He runs a finger through his hair in agitation. “I would have preferred to keep that chapter of my life to myself. But now you can understand why I do the things I do. I hurt women— I hurt you because I like to be in control and some corrupt part of me sees it as a way of getting revenge for what she did to me. Maybe if I had actually gotten the chance to end her life, I wouldn’t be this way.”

“And maybe you still would be,” I state. He looks at me but says nothing. “Thank you for sharing that with me, Jason. I know it couldn’t have been easy. At least I get you now.”

“What does that mean for us? Will you stay?” he asks.

I stand up and turn to face him. I square my shoulders and lift my chin. “Are you still adamant that you will not change? Will you still take pleasure in inflicting pain on me?”

His jaw clenches and he stares into my eyes. “Yes.”

I take in a sharp breath. “Then I’m going,” I utter with finality. I expect him to refuse. I pray that he doesn’t. I’m afraid that if he says another word, I will break down and stay, just like the last time.

Pain flashes in his eyes, but all he says is, “It’s late.” He is unnaturally calm.

I look out the window, “It’s fine, I can still get a taxi.”

He shakes his head, “No, I will take you home.”

“Thank you.” I retrieve my dress and put it on. I fight back tears as I prepare myself to leave for good. This is it. He is allowing me to walk away. I am both relived and disappointed. A small part of me wanted him to hold on to me. But my good senses tell me that this is for the best. This relationship was all kinds of toxic.

“Ready?” he asks from the doorway.

“I am.” I follow him to the door. I take one last look back before I walk out of the penthouse. I will never see this place again.

We reach my apartment in no time. I have no idea what to say to Jason. We sit in an awkward silence. He finally says something, “Come on, I will walk you up.”

“No, that’s really not necessary.”

“But it is, because you refuse to move out of this dump. You can get mugged on the way to your apartment, for Christ’s sake. I am walking you up.”

I give a slight smile, “Fine.”

We stand in front of my apartment. “Thank you,” I say.

He studies me for a few seconds. I can tell he wants to say something, but instead he says, “No problem.”

“Goodbye, Jason.”

He carries a hand up to caress my cheek. I stiffen, but he still leans in to plant a kiss on my lips. I dare not breathe or move. If I do, I know we will end up in my bed. He pulls away. “Goodbye, Navia.”

I watch him walk away. I almost run after him, but I stand my ground. He doesn’t look back, but his shoulders are rigid, the tension is evident in his body. I lift my hand to my lips. That was the last time I will ever feel his lips on mine. I go into my apartment and break down in tears. The pain that I feel now is beyond anything that I have ever felt in my life. It is beyond any pain that Jason has ever inflicted on me. I never knew what a broken heart felt like until now. No, my heart is worse than broken. It has been ripped from my chest. I have nobody but myself to blame. I was the one foolish enough to stay with and even fall in love with a sadistic and depraved man even after I found out what he really was.