Her Forbidden Alpha (8 page)

“Not your fault.” He sat down in the seat next to her. “Heck, she and Dad almost did leave. But then the Alpha at the time–Darius’s father–talked to them both and convinced them to stay. He said the people in the Holding would never get over their racism if they stayed in their little white bubble. And he was right. And now they all love her.”

“I take it your father isn’t black.”

“Dad’s Greek. So he isn’t black, but his coloring is dark.” He laughed again. “It’s okay. Everyone wonders why I’m so dark, even if they don’t feel like they can ask.” He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning toward her. “What I’m saying is, it’s going to be tough for you here, and it might be tough for a while. But you can stick it out like my mom did. And in the end, the people will see you for who you are, not who they think your ancestry makes you.”

Aislinn clasped her hands together. “If my father ends up killing a whole lot of wolves, the people here will find it hard to accept me.”

“Darius won’t let that happen. He’s negotiating with your father right now. But definitely, the wolves fear for their loved ones and the desire to protect them is fueling their attitude toward you. We just need to get past this threat and then things can start to change. It’ll be okay, I promise.”

Aislinn didn’t see how he could promise anything, but she appreciated the effort. She leaned forward and put her hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

He stood, taking her hand as he did so, and clasping it. “No problem.” As he let her go, he motioned toward her plate. “Now eat. I’ll be on duty for the next few hours, so if you want to go anywhere just let me know.”

“Thanks,” she said again as he left.

Her hands were still shaking a little from her exchange with Heath, but Zack’s words had calmed her a lot. Still, despite what he’d said, she didn’t see how the wolves at the Holding could ever accept her. Her idealistic ideas about all of them getting along had been shown for what they were–foolishness. She had no choice but to leave. If Darius wouldn’t let her go, she’d have to find a way to escape.

***

Darius stood in the war room, gazing out one of the floor to ceiling windows at the woods in the distance–the same woods the Humans Firsters lurked within.

Even though Darius had agreed to the meeting with the Elders, he wasn’t sure he’d go. How could he even consider giving Aislinn up? Yet he couldn’t let his people be killed, either. Thing was, he felt pretty sure if he went down this path he’d end up with the worst of both...losing Aislinn while his people nevertheless died.

“This is for the best,” Killion said.

Jennalynn had left several minutes earlier, but Killion remained. He’d been quiet up until then.

“There’s something you’re not seeing.” Killion joined him at the window and stood beside him, looking toward the woods. “You need to go to the Elder because it’ll be good for you either way.”

“How so?” His voice sounded dry and weathered.

“If the Elder can break the mating, you can give Aislinn back and save your people.”

He didn’t want to hear this again. “I know that.”

“You haven’t thought about what it means. If he can break the mating, you’ll no longer feel this way. It won’t hurt to give her up.”

“I’ve thought about it.” More than he wanted to. “The thing is, I don’t want to not want her. I can’t imagine not wanting her. The idea is abhorrent, almost as bad as the idea of giving her up.”

“I don’t understand. Breaking the mating will mean you get everything you want.”

Darius shifted his shoulders toward his brother. “No, it means you and everyone at the Holding gets what they want. I’m telling you what I want–I want Aislinn. I don’t want to break the mating. And I don’t believe that doing it will save our people.”

“You think the Humans Firsters will attack anyway.”

“I know they will. They’ve just been waiting for a good excuse and I’ve handed them one. Who would’ve thought our peace talks could go so badly?”

Killion didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Killion, Cael and Jennalynn had all warned Darius against the peace negotiations. He’d listened, but ultimately ignored them, believing he could make it happen.

He’d been wrong.

Now they were all warning him against keeping Aislinn. Maybe this time he needed to listen to them. At least for a little while. “I’ll speak to the Elders. But it must be private. No one will know I’m talking with them and no one will know what they say. You understand?” It had to be that way. The worst outcome for him would be if they did have a way to break the mating and he wasn’t able to go through with it. If his people knew that, they’d abandon him.

“Set it up,” Darius said. “I’ll go. But do it now, before I change my mind.”

Killion clapped him on the back as he hurried toward the door.

Darius hoped he hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

***

As the evening wore on, Aislinn had to admit to herself that Darius wasn’t coming. At seven or eight, she’d been able to convince herself he still might stop by. By eleven o’clock, she couldn’t avoid the truth. He wasn’t coming. And even though he hadn’t promised he would, and even though she told herself she didn’t want to see him, she felt like he’d stood her up.

She’d made good use of the time alone, gazing into the fire that Zack had had made for her and dreaming up and discarding one escape plan after another. Problem was, she didn’t have enough information. Stuck in this room, she didn’t know the layout of the castle, she didn’t know how many guards there were or where, she didn’t know how to disguise herself so she’d be unobtrusive.

She also wondered if an escape plan would even help. If she wanted to avoid war, would it be better to let them finish the negotiations and hand her over themselves? Probably, except that Darius didn’t want to give her up. She’d planned to press him on all of that this evening to try to find out more, but he hadn’t shown.

And what did that mean?

And so she found herself at half past eleven gazing out the window into darkness. This wasn’t so different from her own home...not enough lights at night to keep the stars away. The waxing moon hung over the woods like a lighthouse. She’d always heard the werewolves turned into ravening beasts on the full moon. How many nights before that happened?

She’d never felt more alone.

***

The next morning, Darius walked with Killion from the castle proper to one of the outbuildings, the Chronicler’s Library. It was there that the so-called Elders lived and worked, and there that Darius would find out his fate.

He didn’t want to go.

More than anything, he wanted to turn around and run to Aislinn’s room. He’d fought with himself all night, wanting to go to her and knowing he couldn’t. If he’d gone, he would have claimed her and if he’d claimed her, any chance at breaking the mating would be gone. Problem was, part of him wanted it gone.

The sun shone overhead, but the light seemed pale and stripped of any warmth. When they entered the Library, the light barely made it past the windows into the rooms.

The entryway of the Library quickly opened into a huge room with high ceilings, filled with books. In addition to the normal contents of a library, this room held all the collected writings of the werewolves. He’d spent much time here as a child, learning his people’s history, particularly from before the Collision. But today, he and Killion passed through that room to a hallway in the back lined with small rooms that could be used for meetings. They entered the first of those rooms to find the Elder who had been assigned to speak to them.

“Warner,” Darius said, reaching his hand out to the older man. Warner had been a friend of their father’s the entire time Darius and Killion were growing up.

Once the three men had greeted each other, they closed the door and sat down at the small wooden table in the middle of the room. “How can I help you?” Warner said.

“You’ve no doubt heard about everything going on,” Darius said. “Me finding my mate, the General at our doorstep…” Warner was nodding vigorously, so Darius continued. “I want to know if there’s any way to break the mating.”

Warner sat back in his chair, almost as though retreating from the idea. “You don’t want your mate?”

Darius clenched his jaw. Of course he wanted her. “She’s the General’s daughter. If we give her back, we might be able to avert a war.”

Warner gazed at him. “You’re willing to give up your mate for us.”

Darius closed his eyes a moment, pushing back the urge to growl. When he finally had himself in control, he opened them again. “Yes.”

After a moment, Warner said, “You honor us with such a sacrifice.”

Killion jerked a little, and Darius wondered for the first time if his unmated sister and brother had any idea what they were asking him to do. Warner, on the other hand, had been mated for decades. Darius wanted that too.

“Are you sure you want this?” Warner said. “It will be like cutting your heart from your chest.”

Killion jerked again. “If you could just break the mating, then he won’t feel that way.”

“Is that what you think?” Warner took a breath. “I’ve never heard of such a thing. But I’ve known wolves who lost their mates one way or another. Every one of them went mad.” He stood. “I’ll talk to the other Elders, see if there’s some magic in the old tomes. Can you wait or do you want to return?”

Killion started to answer, but Darius spoke over him. “We’ll wait.” If he left here, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to make himself return.

After Warner left the room, an uncomfortable silence filled it. Darius had never felt like this with Killion before, but now he realized that he’d crossed a threshold his siblings had yet to cross. It created a gulf between them.

It also made him wonder how many of the wolves thought like Warner rather than Killion and Jennalynn. Now that he thought about the council members who’d vocally urged him to give up Aislinn, every one of them had been unmated. Maybe the mated wolves knew how impossible it would be.

He wasn’t just the pack’s leader. He was their emotional anchor. When he grew enraged, the pack also grew enraged. That was one of the reasons he’d spent so much time meditating and learning to control his emotions before he took over the pack. When he felt calm, the pack felt calm. When he yearned for peace, the pack yearned for peace.

It wasn’t so simple of course. His emotions didn’t override the emotions of the individuals in his pack. But he did influence them. And what that meant was that right now, when he felt such despair, the pack also felt despair tinging their every move.

What good would his army be if they were weighed down by despair?

At length, Warner came back into the room and closed the door. He sat across from them and clasped his hands on the table. “I have bad news. There’s no way to break the mating.”

“None?” Killion said. “But—”

”None. Worse, to deny the mating would be catastrophic. I mentioned before that every wolf I’ve known who lost their mate also lost their mind. Apparently it’s been that way throughout our history. Not a single wolf who lost their mate has remained sane for long.”

Chapter 8

Darius’ mind spun. This is what he’d wanted. Now no one could tell him to give Aislinn up.

Warner leaned forward. “You might have noticed that when, at the end of their lives, a werewolf’s mate dies before them, the wolf soon follows. It’s a mercy, apparently. Something built into us. But when we lose our mates young and our bodies aren’t ready to stop, it’s our minds that go.”

“Darius wouldn’t go mad,” Killion said. “He’s the strongest among us.”

“Yes,” Darius said. “But what you need to ask yourself is what happens to the pack if their Alpha loses his mind?”

“Chaos,” Warner whispered. “Your willingness to sacrifice your mate is honorable, but you can’t do it. You can’t let her go or it will be much, much worse for all of us.”

Darius’ eyes burned and his breath suddenly shortened. The relief he felt at Warner’s words was almost too intense to bear. Ever since he’d found Aislinn, everyone had been fighting him. Warner was the first one who truly wanted what Darius wanted. “Tell the pack that.” He clenched his jaw to hold back the emotions flashing through him.

Warner drew back. “What?”

“Both of you.” Darius focused on Killion, suddenly feeling all too warm, a tempest rising in his chest. “Tell everyone you see that there’s no way to break the mating and if I have to give her up I won’t just go mad...you’ll all go mad with me.” He stood. “Tell them. Because I’m sick to death of everyone whispering behind my back that I need to give up the woman who’s more important to me than anyone else on the face of the planet.”

As he stalked out of the room, just barely restraining himself from crashing the door against the wall, the rage that pulsed through his veins felt hungry. He left the Library and headed down the street. Through the pink-tinged haze that covered his vision, he saw his people clenching their fists and scowling. His anger, leading to their anger. He needed to get control of himself.

He didn’t want to.

He wanted to kill someone, rip them to shreds and then stomp on their remains. Why did they think they had the right to ask him to give her up? They didn’t have the right and he wanted to shove that fact down their throats.

Most of all Killion. But he wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t realize he’d regret hurting his brother for the rest of his days. That’s why he’d left the Library as quickly as he could.

Before he could calm down, he needed to release some of his rage. He called Cael. “Meet me at the training grounds. Now. And prepare to get dirty.” He didn’t give a damn what Cael was doing or why he might not want to show up, so he hung up as soon as he finished talking.

He hadn’t felt so livid in years. How dare they all tell him he should give up his mate? And he’d listened to them. What a fool he’d been for listening to them. A stupid, fucking fool.

He’d barely reached the training grounds when he started to strip. By the time Cael came jogging down the path, Darius was naked and ready to change.

“What is it?” Cael said. “I can feel you…what’s the matter?”