Her Favorite Temptation (18 page)

“I’m s-s-sorry.” She clutched at his shoulders and back, scrunching fistfuls of his T-shirt as she pulled him close, trying to tell him with her body what she couldn’t seem to say with her voice. She’d convinced herself that she’d imagined the connection between them, told herself over and over that he couldn’t possibly feel the same way she did. That he had too many other things going on in his life for her to be more than a blip on his horizon. And yet
he loved her.
He really loved her. “I didn’t expect you to—I never thought—
God
,
Will.
”

He pulled back, even though she was doing everything she could to keep him close.

“These are happy tears?” he asked, realization dawning on his face.

“Yes.
Of course.
I love you. How could I not love you?” It was so obvious to her she couldn’t understand why he would ever doubt it.

The words were barely out of her mouth before he was kissing her, his fervor so ardent her head bent back on her neck. She didn’t mind, though, because his arms were around her, and her body was against his, and his words of love were still ringing in her ears.

“You’re sure?” he said, breaking their kiss and pulling away so suddenly she was left gasping.

“That I love you? Yes, Will. Very sure,” she said, unable to fathom his doubt, unable to believe that she was the one reassuring him when she’d been so sure that she was alone in this.

Then it hit her like a body blow.

“Are you asking because of this?” she said, catching his right hand in hers.

For the first time he looked away. As though he couldn’t bear to see her face while he spoke. “There’s no guarantee anything will change. No matter how hard we work at it. You know that better than anyone.”

“Will...” She closed her eyes, trying to marshal her thoughts. Because she understood that what she said next was important. Crucial, even. Then she opened her eyes and hoped she’d found the right words. “I have felt alone all my life. I was always too smart, or working too hard, or too full of doubt to fit in with everyone else. But when I’m with you, I never feel alone, Will.
Never.
I feel seen, and I feel listened to, and I feel important and cared for. When I first met you, I told myself I had to be insane to think that someone like you would be interested in someone like me. But it didn’t stop me from falling in love with you, because loving you is as easy and as natural as breathing for me. This may shock you, but my love doesn’t come with conditions or requirements. It absolutely doesn’t require physical exam, that is for sure. It just is, Will. And it’s unstoppable, because, believe me, I’ve tried to stop it. So I guess what I’m trying to say in my usual inarticulate, rambly, too-wordy way, is that I’m not going anywhere.
No matter what.
”

Will’s expression was pained and she realized he was close to tears. “I hate the idea of you being lonely,” he said simply. “That can never happen again.”

“It’s okay. I know a really good cure for it.” She leaned forward to kiss him, touched beyond words that her pain was his pain. But maybe that wasn’t such a surprise, since her chest had been aching for weeks on his behalf.

The sound of hook and loop fastener being ripped open made her step away in time to see the constraint mitt fall to the floor.

“Will—”

“We can start therapy in an hour. I need my good hand right now,” he said, closing his left hand possessively over her breast.

The doctor in her wanted to protest, but the rest of her was too busy reaching for the waistband of his jeans.

“We have to go slowly. You’re recovering from major surgery. You have to let me do all the work,” she said as she tugged his fly down.

“Whatever you say, Dr. Mathews,” Will said, trailing kisses across her cheek.

She wasn’t quite sure how they made it to the bedroom and onto Will’s bed, but soon they were both naked and she was straddling him, her hands gliding over his chest, shaping his muscles, teasing his nipples. He was hard beneath her, and she ground herself against him, very aware of the fact that he was watching her with a riveting intensity that made her feel beautiful and powerful and daring all at once.

She caught Will’s right hand in hers, lifting it to her breast, shaping it around her softness.

“Tomorrow, this is going to be all you’ve got to work with for ten days,” she told him. “Consider this part of your therapy.”

He grinned. “If you insist.”

She reached between them then, finding him and guiding him to her. She was wet and ready and she held her breath as she sank onto him.

“Oh, that’s
so good
,” she murmured, her eyes drifting shut.

So good, so right, so complete.

Will’s hand clasped her hip and she felt him grow harder still inside her and suddenly she had to move. She opened her eyes and the world dissolved into sensation—the slide of his body inside her, the sight of his beautiful face as he watched her, the delicious tease of his hand on her breasts, her belly, between her thighs. She went slowly, carefully, but too soon she was shuddering out her release, barely coming down to earth in time to watch Will give himself up to his own climax.

“You’re okay?” she asked anxiously afterward. “That wasn’t too much for you?”

He smiled. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll give that question the answer it deserves.”

There was so much promise and swagger in his words she could only smile. He pulled her onto his chest, his good hand cupping the back of her neck, and she lay with her head on his chest and listened to the steady thump-thump of his heart.

After a few minutes, she took a deep breath. “I need you to say it again. If you don’t mind.”

Because she’d done such a good job of convincing herself that he would never feel the same.

“I love you?”

“Yes.”

“I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. More?”

“Yes, please.”

He laughed, his belly muscles tightening, the sound vibrating through his chest and into hers.

“I love you, Leah Mathews. I love your golden-brown eyes. I love your long legs. I love your breasts, and the little sound you make when I slide inside you. I love how smart you are and how brave you are and how generous.”

She lifted her head from his chest so she could see his face. His gaze was soft on her, and she could see all that he was feeling in his eyes, could feel the echo of that same emotion inside herself.

“Tuning forks,” she said, resting her hand on his sternum.

“Sorry?”

She smiled and kissed him. “I’ll tell you later.”

There was so much to share, after all. So many things to work out. But they had a lifetime. The important thing—the astonishing thing—was that they’d found each other, that love had grown between them despite everything.

She cupped Will’s face, rubbing her thumbs across his cheeks, gazing into his eyes.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“That you’re mine. Finally.”

He smiled. “Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing.”

EPILOGUE

T
WO
MONTHS
LATER
...

Leah took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m really nervous,” she said.

Will laughed. “No kidding.” He reached over the hand brake and put his hand on her knee.

“I know what I want to say. I know I need to do this. But I also know it’s not going to be pretty,” she said.

“What’s the worst they can do?”

“Disown me? Tell me some horrible truth about myself that I’ve been avoiding all my life?” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t say it was a rational fear.”

She sighed and glanced out the car window at her parents’ house. As usual, it was picture-perfect, the hedges trimmed within an inch of their lives, the standard roses dripping with flowers.

“Let me come with you,” Will said.

He’d been saying the same thing ever since she’d raised the prospect of telling her parents that she couldn’t accept their birthday present, but she knew this was something she needed to do on her own. She’d been an approval-seeking good girl for so much of her life, looking them in the eye and telling them how she felt and why she couldn’t accept their generosity felt like a coming-of-age challenge. Something she needed to do to prove to herself that the old, complacent Leah was a thing of the past.

Ideally, she would have liked to have done it sooner, but life had gotten in the way. First, there had been the applied intensity of Will’s C.I.M.T., then she’d started her new role at Monash Medical Centre. For a while there, she’d been tap-dancing like crazy to keep her head above water. Adding her parents into the mix hadn’t seemed like the smartest idea.

And, of course, she’d been afraid.

“You’re doing the right thing,” Will said.

She looked into his eyes, as usual drawing strength from the calm certainty and love she saw there. Even though her stomach felt like a macramé experiment gone wrong, she couldn’t help but smile.

Finding Will, loving Will, had been a revelation. Like finding the other half of herself. Having his grounded wisdom to draw on when she needed it, knowing that no matter what, she had him to come home to, that his laughter was part of her world and that the passion and courage and joy he ignited in her were here to stay, had transformed her perception of herself.

That didn’t mean they hadn’t had their moments, though. Days when Will had been dark and silent, mourning his lost self, shutting out the people who loved him. Arguments over her stretching herself too thin and him pushing himself too hard.

But she and Will always came back to the center, seeking each other out, leaning on each other, taking strength from each other. Their love was proving to be generous, resilient and infinitely patient.

A true blessing, for both of them.

“Okay. I’m going in,” she said.

Will didn’t say a word, simply pressed a kiss to her lips. The taste of him was familiar now, but the warm weight of his mouth on hers never failed to trip some wire inside her. Her head filled with images—bare skin, greedy mouths, Will’s powerful body, naked and hard. Her pulse gave an excited kick, her body began to heat.

She shook her head as she ended their kiss. “Every time,” she said ruefully.

He grinned. “Can’t help it if I’ve got the magic, baby,” he said, utterly unrepentant and proud.

“That’s my modest man,” she said, reaching out to smooth a hand over his chest. Then, before she could find another excuse, she climbed out.

Will surprised her by getting out, too, circling the car and pulling her into his arms. His body was solid against hers and she let her head rest on his shoulder.

“I’ll be right here. A few steps away.”

“I know. It’s the only reason I’m even close to composed,” she admitted.

Will kissed her forehead. “You’re one of the most stubborn, smartest women I know. You’ve got these guys licked before you even walk in the door.”

She smiled at his show of faith, took a deep breath and crossed the street.

Her father opened the door, ushering her inside with a smile. They thought she was here for afternoon tea, and she felt a twinge of guilt, aware that what she was about to say would set back the rapprochement they’d been enjoying in recent weeks.

Her mother had still not completely forgiven her, but there had been a definite softening during the handful of visits and phone calls they’d exchanged in the past two months. They’d met Will and appeared to approve, although Leah suspected that if he didn’t have a shelf full of awards they wouldn’t have been quite so impressed by her throwing her lot in with a musician.

All her qualms and nerves weren’t going to stop her from doing what needed to be done, however, because it wasn’t only for her. It was for Audrey, too, and she refused to let her sister down. Absolutely refused.

Not that Audrey knew about this visit, or the shares Leah had been given. It would stay that way forever if Leah had her way.

“Your mother bought some of that lemon ginger cake you like,” her father said as he ushered her into the well-lit living space at the rear of her parents’ house.

“I had to practically arm wrestle a woman for the last one,” her mother said, breezing into the room, carrying a tray loaded with cups, a teapot and cake.

“I’m honored,” Leah said, forcing a smile.

“Will couldn’t make it?” her mother asked brightly.

Leah considered making up some kind of excuse, but she was here to do what she was here to do. Might as well get on with it.

“He could. But I wanted to talk to you both about something,” she said.

“You’re pregnant. I knew it. Oh, Leah.” Her mother set down the tray with a thunk, her face creasing with dismay.

“I’m not pregnant, Mum,” she said firmly. Although she couldn’t help wondering how she’d be feeling right now if she was.

Disappointed, she suspected.

“Well, good. That’s a relief. It would be a crying shame if you didn’t get a chance to finish your training after all this fuss,” her mother said.

“What did you want to talk about, then?” her father asked, helping himself to some cake.

Okay
,
here goes.

Leah reached into her coat pocket and pulled out the envelope they’d given her on her birthday, sliding it onto the table. “This.”

Her parents looked at it blankly, clearly not recognizing it.

“It’s my birthday present. The shares,” Leah explained.

“If you want us to hang on to the paperwork for you, I’m more than happy to,” her father said, reaching for the envelope. “I meant to mention it to you earlier. We can add it to the safe-deposit box we’ve got at the bank.”

“Thanks, Dad, but I don’t want you to hang on to them for me. The truth is, I feel really uncomfortable about accepting these when I know Audrey hasn’t received anything close to this from you guys. It was very generous of you to want to do this for me, but I don’t want to be favored at Audrey’s expense. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’d like to give these back to you.”

“But... This has nothing to do with Audrey. This was for your birthday. Your thirtieth,” her father said, the picture of bewilderment.

“You bought her a ticket to Queensland and a couple of nights’ accommodation for her thirtieth, Dad. I can’t accept ten thousand dollars.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We wanted you to be a bit more comfortable. To recognize all your hard work,” her mother said.

“What about Audrey’s hard work, Mum? What about making her life more comfortable?”

Her mother sat back in her chair. “This isn’t a competition. Your sister is her own person, very different from you, and we treat her accordingly.”

Leah eyed her mother sadly. “I wish you could see your face when you talk about her. She’s your daughter, too, Mum. And she’s a good person, an amazing person.”

Her mother’s expression tightened, her mouth working. Her father reached out and laid his hand over hers.

“Your sister made her choices a long time ago, Leah. And we have forgiven her, but we would be hypocrites and liars if we pretended that there weren’t still scars from that time.”

“She was sixteen, Dad. And she was incredibly unhappy. Can’t you see that we all played a part in what happened?”

“Your father and I have never wanted anything but the best for you girls.
Never.
We sacrificed a great deal to give you both excellent educations, to ensure that you could be all you could be. I won’t sit here and be lectured and judged by you on my parenting skills.
I
simply won’t.
” Her mother slapped her hand hard onto the table, making the cups rattle against their saucers.

The conversation nose-dived from there. Leah did her best to make the points she’d rehearsed with Will, but her parents were on the defensive and there was no getting through to them. Not this time, anyway. Maybe some of the things she’d said would sink in when they’d calmed down. And maybe she would try to have this conversation again sometime.

Or maybe she would simply concentrate on strengthening the burgeoning friendship she had with her sister. Maybe that was a better place to put her energy and her hope.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to have this conversation anymore. I feel sick about some of the things you’ve said to us today, Leah. Sick and shocked. Never in a million years would I have imagined you could be so ungrateful.” There were tears in her mother’s eyes as she stood and walked from the room.

Leah stared at the white envelope on the table, then raised her gaze to her father.

He met her eyes, and she could see his anger. As Will had pointed out before she came here today, people didn’t like being called on their bad behavior.

“It’s okay, Dad, I’m going. But I want to say one last thing before I go. You have two daughters. We are both good people, and we are both worth knowing. I love you and Mum, and I love Audrey, and I won’t be a party to hurting her anymore.”

Her father stood. “I don’t know if Audrey has put you up to this, but I expected more from you, Leah.”

“Funny. I expected more from you, too. So I guess that makes us even.” She grabbed her bag. “Before I go, I want to tell you something. Audrey and I have been talking lately, and there’s something she said that I think you need to know. She believes that you and Mum don’t think she’s good enough. That she’ll never measure up to your high standards. If you can stomach that, if that sits well with you, then this whole conversation was pointless from beginning to end.”

She didn’t bother saying goodbye, simply left the room. A fierce satisfaction filled her as she stepped onto the front porch and pulled the door shut behind her. She’d done it. It had been horrible, and she suspected it wouldn’t change anything, but she had tried. She’d said her piece. There was a freedom in that, a release.

Will spotted her from across the road and got out of the car. She walked down the garden path, meeting him on the sidewalk.

He took one look at her face and pulled her into his arms.

“Proud of you, babe,” he said, pressing a kiss above her ear.

She squeezed him tight, breathing in the good, clean smell of him, reminding herself that while her parents were screwed up in myriad ways, she had so many good things in her life.

Will. Her sister. Her new career.

“Let’s go home.”

“Okay,” he said easily.

She slid behind the wheel, watching patiently as he secured his seat belt using his right hand. His fingers weren’t where he needed them to be yet, but Will’s determination and the gains they’d made via C.I.M.T. meant that he could make a fist now, as well as strum his guitar and perform a number of other household tasks with ease. He’d set himself a goal of being able to perform again in public in two years’ time.

He’d get there. He was so determined and dedicated, she didn’t doubt it for a minute.

“I’ve got something for us to listen to on the way home,” he said, plugging his phone into the jack on her dash.

“Is this the latest installment in my musical education?” she asked.

Will had taken it upon himself to introduce her to his favorite musicians, and she’d been exploring music from artists as diverse as Tricky at one end of the spectrum and Johnny Cash at the other.

“This is something a little different,” he said.

He hit the play button, taking the time to do it with his right hand, even though it made the process slower. The sound of a guitar and a piano filled the car.

“Is this that young guy you were talking about the other day?” she said.

Then the vocal kicked in, and she recognized Will’s voice. She glanced at him, and discovered he was watching her closely. The song had reached the chorus by the time she understood why.

She knew every one of his songs by heart now, but this was new. Will had written and recorded a new song. And not just any song.

This song was about love, about finding the one person who made sense of the world, about never waking up alone again. The lyrics spoke about fear of falling and the rewards of trust.

When you come to me
,
I
know everything’s going to be all right
.
Your love pushes me and cushions me and leads me to the light.

The road was a blur and she signaled to pull over so she didn’t kill them both. They sat in the car, listening as the song played out and tears slipped down her face.

“That’s you on the piano, isn’t it?” she asked when the song ended. How like Will to hold on to this beautiful achievement for a moment like this, when he knew she needed to be reminded of the good in life.

“We had to cheat a few things, but yeah, it’s me,” he said.

She didn’t know what to say, she was so overwhelmed and grateful for him. She knew that he’d been worried about composing without his guitar. He’d only talked about it a little, but she’d known it had been on his mind.

But he’d written this song. And he’d played piano on the recording.

“You like it?” he asked.

“I love it. It’s beautiful. The lyrics are gorgeous.”

“Ask me what it’s called.”

She saw the shy smile tugging at his mouth.