Her Brooding Italian Surgeon (14 page)

His heart broke open. Abbie, with her tilted chin, her caramel curls and her generous heart had stood her ground against his fears and her own and yet at the same time had tried valiantly to fight for him. For his messed-up, damaged heart.

And he hadn't fought for her.

He'd acted just like the bastards who'd passed through her life, taking what he wanted from her and then pushing her away with his half-baked attempt at duty. The words, ‘give it a good shot' rang in his head. His gut clenched. No wonder she'd walked out on him. He'd forced her to go, pushing away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The love of his life.

He ran his hands through his hair, the past still holding him hostage. ‘What if I stuff it up again?'

His father gave him a cryptic smile. ‘Adults take risks, Leo. Make peace with yourself and open yourself up to the love of a good woman.'

‘If she'll have me.'

Stefano nodded. ‘That I can't answer. All I can say is—go now and build bridges to her heart.'

Leo didn't have to be told twice.

 

‘What do you think, Murph?' Abbie had the windscreen wipers on full pelt and even then she could hardly see through the rain. ‘This is our only choice now Old Man Creek's flooded.' She was on her way back from the Castertons, having started Hugh on antibiotics for a perforated eardrum. Poor kid; he'd been in a lot of pain. ‘I guess we just keep going, taking it slowly.'

She changed into low gear, giving thanks she had the full tread of four-wheel drive wheels giving her traction against the slippery gravel that resembled a river of red mud more than a road. She wished she was home. Or already back at the clinic. It wasn't just that the road conditions were treacherous but, given a choice, she wouldn't be on this road today because it put her within five hundred metres of the Costas' front gate and even closer to the vines. No way was she ready to face Leo. Not yet. She needed to be completely on top of things next time
they met—emotionally strong—and right now she was a very long way from that.

Most of her hoped he'd return to Melbourne and that it would be weeks before they had to talk again to sort out money and access. The whole situation had a surreal feel to it and she was happy to delay any decisions as long as possible. Delay everything until she'd worked out how to stop loving the father of her child. A child that would bind them together for ever. The irony that the baby now connected her with a family she couldn't be part of wasn't lost on her—their loyalties would lie with Leo. Did life have to be this hard?

The old wooden single-lane bridge came into view and, although the river ran high and fast, the bridge was still above the water line. ‘We just need to get across the bridge and then we're on bitumen.'

Murphy barked his approval. Abbie knew how he felt. She wasn't keen on this bridge, even in good weather. Its narrowness and low sides always made her edgy. She hauled on the handbrake and wound down her window, leaning out of the vehicle to double-check there wasn't a car coming in the opposite direction. Across the river she could vaguely make out the silhouette of men—Costa employees—building a levee bank to protect the vines. Her heart tore as her eyes disregarded her instructions and scanned the group for height—Leo stood out in any group. But the rain obscured details and she couldn't see much at all. She dragged her gaze to the other side of the bridge.

No cars.

Leaving her window open so she could see the side of the bridge, she slowly pressed the accelerator down. Rain drove into the cabin but it was better to be wet than misjudge things and end up over the side. Halfway over, she glanced up into the white glare of headlights. A car had pulled up and was
waiting for her to cross. The lights dimmed and her mouth dried as an unmistakably tall man emerged from the car. Leo.

Her hand froze on the gear-stick and every part of her wanted to throw the truck into reverse and retreat but that wasn't possible. Even in dry conditions she wouldn't trust herself to manoeuvre a vehicle this size backwards over such a narrow bridge. Her heart hammered as she ran limited options through her head. She could just drive past him when she reached the other side but that would only antagonise him more. She knew he'd been bitterly furious at her for walking out on him and she didn't want to add to that. Somehow they had to find a way through this nightmare so they could be civil for the baby's sake.

Oh, dear God, but she wasn't quite ready to start now. She maintained her slow speed, purposely delaying the moment she'd have to greet him, knowing her heart would die just a little bit more when she spoke the words,
Hello, Leo
.

Between the pounding of the rain on the roof and the engine noise, nothing much else could be heard, although Abbie thought she heard a low drawn-out groan. It had probably come from her own lips as she crept inexorably closer to Leo and another difficult conversation.

The groan grew deeper and louder and then an almighty roar of splitting timber erupted around her and, before she could do a thing, the four-wheel drive rolled. Deafening noise bellowed as water rushed at her through the open window, filling her nose, her eyes and her mouth. Everything was black. Dazed and disoriented, she had no idea if she was up or down.
Get out!
All she knew was that if she stayed strapped in her seat she would die.

Fear both paralysed and galvanized her. Numb fingers pried at the seat belt as Murphy fell against her. The weight of the dog pinned her to the seat and, with an almighty heave, she pushed Murphy out of the window against the tide of water.

She gasped for air as she felt the seat belt come away and
she tried to move through the open window but the pressure of the water pushed her back. She could see grey sky and kept her eyes glued to that as she tried again to move. To get out. To live. Suddenly she was flung sideways and the ripping noise of crumpling metal filled her ears.

Water covered her. She pushed upwards and broke the surface, coughing violently. Air. Sweet air. Her chest burned.
Get out, get out, get out
. She pulled up again, forcing her body out through the window. Red-hot pain seared her but her legs stayed put. Trapped.

Panic sucked at her and she fought against it as muddy water swirled up around her neck. Holding on to the car, she tilted her chin and sucked in air. Air for herself, air for the baby. Twisting around, she tried again to free herself but she was pinned tight by the steering wheel and the dashboard. She breathed again. Water ran down her throat.

Coughing, she pushed her head back as far as she could and managed a breath. Darkness ate at the edges of her mind. Was this what her life had come to? First denied the man she loved and now the chance to raise his child.

No. She craned her head, trying to gain vital yet almost infinitesimal height to keep the water away from her nose. She heard Murphy's bark, the faint yell of voices. Help was coming.
Just keep going.
Her hands cramped, her fingers weakened, her legs screamed and every muscle burned as her body strained to stay above the water.

Then fire turned to ice and chilling pain dragged at her as she battled the morbid darkness that crushed her chest. Her energy drained away, completely consumed in the fight to escape, in the immense effort to breathe. A bright white light illuminated the darkness, promising blessed relief.

‘NOOOOOOOOOO.'
Leo's scream rent the air, slicing through the rain as the old timber bridge collapsed without warning, torn aside by the raging river as if it was as feeble as a matchstick model.

Build a bridge to her heart.

But the bridge had gone, taking Abbie with it, her four-wheel drive impotent against the surging flood waters that tossed it onto its roof and swept it downstream.

Move!
He acted on instinct, driven forward by adrenaline and abject terror. He ripped back the tarp on the Ute and grabbed rope and then ran along the riverbank, through mud, through marsh, his eyes never moving from the four-wheel drive, which was being tossed around like a crisp packet. Did everyone he loved drown? Had he finally realised he loved Abbie, only to lose her? The thought struck him so hard he almost stopped breathing.

He saw a black and white flash and then Murphy appeared above water, valiantly swimming across the current. Hope burst through him. If the dog had got out then Abbie could too.
Let her live. Please, God, let her live.
His eyes strained through the rain, desperately searching for Abbie. For caramel hair. For a tilted and determined chin.

Nothing.

The levee bank builders, including his father, hearing the bridge collapse had rushed to the bank, their expressions frozen with shock.

The noise of crushing metal boomed around them. The vehicle slammed against a fallen red gum, its trajectory momentarily stopped as it became trapped between the tree and the bank.

Thank God
. ‘Call 000,' Leo yelled to the men. Lassoing a rope around his waist, he tied it firmly so it couldn't slide off. Floodwater currents could sweep a man away in a heartbeat so the rope was his only option.

He handed the other end of the tie to his father, forcing out the words against a constricted throat. ‘It's Abbie.'

His father's dark eyes glowed with fear and memories. ‘Go. Be careful.' His gloved hands gripped the rope as the other men gathered to help.

Leo waded into the water. Images of diving under murky water, images of Dom spurred him on. Water pulled at him, pushed him, eddying around him like a whirlpool, trying to suck him down into its muddy depths and keep him away from the driver's side of the truck. Vital seconds ticked past.

You can do this
. He heard the voice of his brother, silent to him for so many years.
She's got a chance.

‘Abbie, I'm coming.' The wind caught his bellow and he struck out across the current.

The first sight he saw was her hair floating around her head like a halo. Her body was half out of the car and her face was underwater.

Dread sent its icy-cold fingers through him, squeezing his heart so tightly he thought it would cease beating. ‘Abbie!' He heard his disembodied wail as he tried to lift her head well clear of the water. Her eyes had rolled back. His fingers fought to find her carotid pulse.

A flutter of a beat. Faint. Weak.

He had to get her out. With his arms around her chest, he gave an almighty pull, but her body refused to yield.
No!
Memories choked him and he tried again, refusing to give up another person he loved to this bloody river.

The water lashed them against the car, threatening to swamp Abbie again. He rechecked her pulse.

Barely there.

He struggled to hold her head above the water. How the hell could he hold her clear and give her mouth-to-mouth at the same time? He was losing her.

You can do this, Leo.

How?
Think.
He yelled to the men on the bank. ‘She's trapped; get me an irrigation pipe.'

‘We're getting it.' Voices relayed the message.

Water flowed across her chin. He needed the pipe now. Two minutes ago.

Was she breathing? He couldn't see her chest under the murky water. Had he got this close, only to lose her?

Anguish and terror tore through him.

‘Abbie! I love you.' He shook her flaccid body. ‘Come back to me. Don't ever leave me.'

 

I love you
. The bright light that had promised Abbie relief from pain faded and she was plunged back into inky darkness and burning pain. Her chest screamed as her diaphragm moved up. Air hit her wet and aching lungs. She gasped, then gagged, vomiting into the river.

‘Breathe,
tesoro
, breathe. Please just keep breathing.'

She breathed. She didn't have the energy to do anything else. Leo held her. Leo tilted her chin just above the water line; Leo's ragged voice surrounded her, soothing her as she battled the horrifying fear that she'd slip back under to that dark, dark place.

Leo. Her next breath came more easily.

‘Abbie.' Leo's hand patted her on the cheek but she couldn't focus on him. She could only focus on her next breath. ‘Abbie, the water is too high and you need to breathe through this pipe. Stefano's going to hold you and talk to you and I'm going to try and free your legs. Keep breathing, sweetheart; that's all you have to do. I'll do the rest.'

She felt the pipe against her lips and then another pair of arms wrapped around her.

‘Like a snorkel,
sì
? Think of tropical fish. We're right here. Breathe in, breathe out.' Stefano's work-strong arms held her tightly. ‘Leo's diving under.'

A moment later Leo's hands touched her on her body, trailing down her legs. Then the touch vanished.

‘Abbie.' She heard the surgeon speaking to her, the tone almost vanquishing all traces of the petrified man. ‘I have to break your leg to get you out.'

I don't care—just get me out.
She couldn't speak and she had no energy to move but somehow she managed a nod.

‘Bite the tube against the pain but don't scream. Just breathe through the pipe.'

She closed her mind to everything except the breath and then her body twisted violently and searing pain tore through her leg. Strong arms pulled her clear. The water receded to her chest and she let go of the tube. More arms hauled her up out of the water and dragged her over a log as excruciating pain the colour of fire—red, burnt orange and scorching yellow—tore through her.

Then she felt the soft mud of the bank against her back and rain on her face.

Safety. Blackness followed.

 

Abbie opened her eyes to flowers. Bright pink gerberas, purple lithianthus, fragrant white lilies, cheery yellow daisies
and white roses. Three vases of white roses. She stared at them.

I love you
. Had she imagined Leo saying that? Who knew what your brain did when it was being starved of oxygen?

She'd drifted in and out of consciousness and only had snatches of memory but she'd been certain Leo was with her when she'd been in the ambulance, gone into Theatre and been transferred to the ward.

He wasn't with her now.

‘Hey, you're awake.' Anna put down her magazine. ‘Are you hungry? I've got the chef on standby for whatever you want.'

Abbie gave her a wan smile, the idea of food curdling her stomach. ‘I think a cup of tea with toast and Vegemite is all I really feel like.'

Anna stood up. ‘Consider it done.' She squeezed her arm and walked out of the room as Stefano and Rosa walked in, bringing care and concern along with a large brown paper bag.

‘My irrigation pipe has never been used as a snorkel before.' Stefano kissed her on both cheeks.

‘Let's hope it never has to be again.' Abbie reached for his hand. ‘Thank you for talking me through it.' She gave thanks she was alive but she really didn't want to think about how terrified she'd been so she changed the topic. ‘How are the vines?'

‘The rain has stopped and the levee bank is holding so we hold our breath for a few more days. Floods come and go, but it's the people we love who are important. You worry about yourself, OK?'

The people we love
.

Rosa nodded in agreement. ‘Maria sends her love and her bread. She's been in the kitchen since dawn, making you her special
zuppa
to make you strong again for the—'

Stefano's hand closed over Rosa's and she paused for half
a beat before commenting on the flowers and greeting Chiara, who'd just arrived.

The baby.
Leo had told them about the baby. The baby that may or may not still be alive after possible oxygen deprivation.

She let their conversation float around her, dutifully answered questions when asked and accepted Anna's tea and toast. Leo's family surrounded her with love and chatter but the one person she desperately needed to talk to wasn't here.

I love you.
Perhaps it had been anoxia-induced imaginings after all.

She stared at her toes that peeked out of a bright white plaster cast. The staff had been checking her circulation all night and her foot was toasty warm. She didn't really have much pain from her leg but, then again, perhaps pain was relative after yesterday's experience.

‘Dio mio.'
Leo strode into the room in green theatre scrubs, clutching a chart in his broad strong hand. The quintessential surgeon in charge. ‘What are you all doing here? Abbie needs rest.' His arm swept out towards the door. ‘I don't know how you all got past Erin, but you have to go. Now.'

Stefano winked at Abbie and walked towards the door. Rosa stiffened and stalked towards the exit, giving her son a look that would reduce a lesser man to a gibbering mess and Chiara and Anna grumbled, telling Leo to never try using that tone at home, but they left anyway.

Silence crept into the room. A heavy, brooding silence that billowed into every corner, filled with a myriad of unresolved issues. Abbie bit her lip.

Leo finally spoke, throwing his hands up into the air. ‘My family.'

‘They mean well.'

He stood at the end of the bed, frowning and staring at her—a doctor attending to his patient. ‘How are you?'

I don't know.
She hated how they'd gone from such an easy camaraderie to this strained and torturous silence.

‘Are you in pain?' He strode to the IV pump and checked the analgesia setting. ‘I can boot it up.'

‘No.' Her hand shot out and caught his arm. She needed to protect her baby and she needed a clear head to deal with Mr Costa, the surgeon. ‘Leo, is the baby going to be OK?'

He stilled at her touch and it was like a knife slicing through her heart. She dropped her hand, certain that her near-death experience had tricked her mind into hearing words he hadn't spoken.

Leo ran his hand through his hair and it stood up in black spikes. ‘I spoke with Alistair Macklin and he said, “Wait and see.” You're fine so we have to assume that the baby got enough oxygen too.'

Panic fluttered through her. ‘I was anoxic, though. I saw the white light; I heard things I don't think were said.' She gripped the edge of the top sheet. ‘We're doctors; we both know about the chemical changes in the brain just before death and I had that moment of euphoria which means I was oxygen starved.'

He kept staring at her, his eyes boring into hers, filled with swirling emotions that her fuzzy brain failed to decipher.

He dropped his gaze and wrung his hands. ‘I heard Dom.'

‘You heard your brother?' Confusion tugged at her. Why would he have heard voices? ‘But you weren't drowning.'

He flinched. ‘When I was in the river, I heard Dom's voice—as clear as if he was standing next to me—telling me you had a chance. It was like he was guiding me to you. I know it sounds crazy but I know it really happened.' He let out a long breath. ‘So you can tell me because it can't be more out-there than that. What did you hear?'

What I wanted to hear.

‘Abbie?' He sat down next to her, worry carved deeply around his eyes. ‘Tell me.'

She swallowed and shook her head, not wanting to see the same expression on his face she'd seen two days ago when he'd told her he didn't love her. ‘It's not something you're going to want to hear.'

With a jerky movement, he picked up her hand. ‘Abbie, you've always given it to me straight. It's part of what I love about you, so don't go all wussie on me now. Tell me.'

Her heart picked up as blood hammered loudly in her ears. ‘You love me?'

He dropped his head forward, his broad shoulders shuddering before he lifted his gaze back to hers, his face drawn and haggard. ‘I think I've loved you from the moment you told me in no uncertain terms it was up to Nonna to decide who her doctor was. It just took me until yesterday to realise.'

She wanted to throw herself into his love but she needed more. ‘I had to almost drown before you knew you loved me?'

‘No.' He clutched her hand with a desperate touch. ‘I realised before that. I was on my way to tell you that you're my heart and soul when the bridge washed out. And I do love you, Abbie; you have to believe me. When I held you in my arms yesterday, so close to death, everything I'd valued about my life was reduced to worthless rubble.'

I love you. Don't ever leave me. Come back to me.

Joy exploded inside her, ricocheting through her and lighting up all the darkness. ‘You called me back.' Her hand stroked his cheek. ‘I'd given up, it was all too hard and then I heard your voice, telling me you loved me.'

‘And I do.' His deep voice quivered with emotion. ‘I love you with every part of me.'

He truly loved her. Her heart opened wide and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Very carefully, he lay down next to her, gathering her close and burying his face in her hair. ‘I'm so sorry I've been the biggest jerk on the planet. You were right. I'd been keeping everyone at arm's length for so long and it took your love to show me how wrong I'd been. I need you, Abbie.'

She held him tightly. ‘I need you too.'