Her Adoring SEAL (Midnight Delta Book 3) (7 page)

“You
are
what I need. You’re
who
I need. We have all the time in the world. This is just the beginning. I need to know you’ll try.” She winced as her leg began to burn and then cramp.

“Ahhh, you’re hurting again.” Jack bent over and handed her the button so she could release more pain medicine into her I.V.

“I’m going to kiss you now.”

So many more butterflies or maybe hummingbirds this time. “Okay,” Beth said as she licked her lips.

Jack groaned. Softly, he laid his lips to hers, and she gasped. Taking advantage, his tongue slid along the inside of her lower lip. Teasing and tempting a response. She needed more, and he brushed from side to side, stronger as she pushed upward. Jack cupped the back of her head and brought her closer.

His tongue thrust gently, and she shuddered, the sensation unlike any other. More. She closed her eyes and sucked him in, savoring his taste and his masculine heat. Her breasts grew taut, her nipples beaded against his chest. Beth heard him make a sound of approval as he pulled her against him. She heard a whimper and realized it was her.

****

T
he woman was like aged whiskey and sunflowers. She was fast becoming his everything. Jack forced himself to pull back when he heard her whimper. She was ill.

“No.” She lifted her arms to wrap around his neck and groaned.

“Oh, Beth, I know you’re hurting. Don’t move your arms like that.”

“I didn’t want you to stop.” Her black eyes glowed. Her lips were swollen from their kiss. Jack had to fight down his reaction.
For God’s sake, she’s in a hospital bed, Preston!
It didn’t seem to matter, he was going to end up leaving the room with a hard-on.

“We’ll talk when you come back home. In the meantime, get some rest. I bet the medicine is making you sleepy.”

She yawned.  “Jack,” her voice came out slurred. “I like how you call the ranch home. It makes it sound like it’s my home, too.”

His gut clenched. He looked in wonder at this woman who he’d only just kissed for the first time.

“When you’re better, Beth, we’re going to need to talk about the future.”

“I know.” She yawned again, her eyes blinking slowly, a sure sign she was close to sleep. “It’s good I’m leaving soon.  I still don’t think this can work.  I’m broken, and you deserve so much better.”

“I never want to hear you say you’re broken again.” She jerked at the heat in his voice, her eyes wide.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He cupped her cheek. “You’ve been through a trauma, and you’re working your way through it. I think you’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever met next to my mom. I’m going to have to tell you my story one day so you know I understand where you’re coming from.”

“But...”

“No buts.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips until she was asleep.

“Sweet dreams, my Beth.”

****

J
ack looked at the display on his phone.  He wasn’t surprised to see it was the number Clint had provided. 

“Preston.”

“How is she?  Is she awake?  Can I talk to her?”  Jack had spoken to Lydia only twice before, and never heard her so frantic.

“Lydia, she’s going to be fine.  The doctors say she’s going to make a complete recovery.”

“Thank God.  Can I talk to her?”

“I just left her.  She was asleep.”  There was a long pause, and he could hear her disappointment through the phone.

“I promise the next time she wakes up the first thing I’ll have her do will be to call you, okay?”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you.  Thank you so much for my sister’s life.”  Jack felt himself hunch over at her words. 

“You’re welcome.  She’ll call you tomorrow.”  He hung up the phone and looked at his parents.

His mother used her cane to stand up, waving Richard off when he tried to help her.  Jack went over to her.

“You need to go to the hotel now.”

“Mom, she could wake up again,” Jack protested.

“If she does, we’ll be here.  We’ve had a full night’s sleep.  You haven’t.”

“I’m staying.”

“Son, you’re worrying your mother.  At least go take a shower and a nap,” Richard suggested.  Jack looked between the two of them, and nodded.

––––––––

“H
ave you told her how you feel?”

“It would scare her even more if I told her I think I’m falling in love with her. In the hospital I asked her to consider the future, and she said stupid shit about being broken.”

His mom just left Beth’s room. They’d brought her back to the ranch two days earlier, and it was going to take a bit of time before she was done recuperating. His mom made sure she finished some of the soup Rosa made for her. Now, she was back in the great room staring at her son.

“You know feeling unworthy is part of PTSD, right?”

“I know. I’m not pushing too hard. At least, I don’t think I am. But, Mom, I can’t stand the fact she thinks less of herself.” He brought the ottoman over and gently lifted her legs so they rested on top of it.

“Richard had to contend with the same thing when he first met me. I didn’t think I would ever be able to have a relationship after what your father had done.”

“I thought he had to convince you
he
was good enough, and he wouldn’t hurt you.” Jack thought back to his childhood years when Richard was courting his mother.

“No, he had to help me see I was good enough.”

Jack sat in the chair next to his mother’s and really looked at her. It had been a long time since they had talked about the years they spent with his biological father.

“Do you still think about him? Do you still have nightmares?”

“Do you, Jack?”

He stopped himself from immediately giving a negative response.

“I was on a mission last year. I won’t go into the details.”

“I’m glad. I try not to worry too much when you’re overseas, but I do. I always pray for your safe return.”

“I appreciate it. Anyway, we rescued a kid. He just turned thirteen, the son of an American oil executive, and he’d been kidnapped and held for ransom. The kidnapper was a sadist.”

His mother rested her hand on his knee and squeezed.

“The boy, Kevin, is doing better now.”

“You’ve been having nightmares?” she said knowingly.

“Yeah. It brought back those years with him.” Even now, a trained Navy SEAL, and his dreams could take him back to the scared six year old whose father was such a monster, and had held all the power.

“But, Mom, I don’t get it, why does Beth feel damaged? Why did you?” Looking at the beautiful woman in front of him, he couldn’t imagine her thinking of herself as broken.  As ‘less than’.

“Didn’t you? Isn’t it why you had to ride the wildest horses? Drive the fastest car? Win every fight against the biggest kids in school? Become a SEAL? Weren’t you trying to prove you weren’t that defenseless boy?”

“To begin with, yes, but halfway through college I wanted to start helping others. I already knew I was the baddest thing out there, and I wanted to use it in defense of others. But, Mom, I never felt I was unlovable or somehow not worthy, only powerless.”

“I think the type of touch Beth and I endured is somehow so degrading that you feel defiled. I don’t know how many times I rubbed myself raw in the shower, trying to get clean. I couldn’t imagine anyone else thinking I was good enough.”

Jack blinked back tears, he’d had no idea his mother ever felt like that.

“Then, there was the fact I didn’t think I could ever handle a man’s touch again. It took a long time for Richard to convince me otherwise.”

“Jesus, Mom. I wish I’d known, I could’ve helped.”

“It wasn’t something you could have helped with. I thank God for Richard coming into my life. Into our lives. I think Beth is going to ultimately feel the same way about you.”

“She lets me hold her. And holding Beth is better than anything else I’ve done with other women.” Jack remembered how soft and right she felt in his arms, and he ached to have her there again.

“Then she’s definitely the one.”

“I think so too, but we still have a lot of hurdles to cross. I want to help her, and coax her but not pressure her. I’m not sure I know the difference.”

“Oh honey, I trust you. You have great instincts.”

****

S
ometimes, it felt like Boone was the only one who understood Beth.

“Isn’t that right, boy?” The dog pushed closer as she sat on the top step of the porch. Her emotions had been up and down for the last two days. She was still replaying the kiss in the hospital. Sometimes, she felt like there might be a future with Jack. But most of the time she knew there couldn’t be.

Boone whined. She’d been squeezing him too tightly.

“I’m sorry, boy. I can’t seem to do anything right.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s true.” Jack had been silent this time when he had stepped onto the porch.

“Are you okay, Beth?”

“Sure.” She didn’t look up, preferring to keep her face hidden in the scruff of Boone’s neck.

“Why don’t you think you can do anything right?”

“Because I can’t.” Her fingers dug into the dog’s fur, and once again, he whined. She let go of him and he darted down the stairs.
Yep, nothing right, I can’t even keep the dog by my side.

“Beth, you’re an amazing woman.  I think you’ve had a hell of a lot to deal with.  It takes a while to heal.”

She laughed, and then winced.  She hated the bitter sound that came out of her mouth.

“I think you need a hug.”

“Not even Boone wanted a hug from me.”

“Look up, sweetheart, there’s a rabbit in the garden. You’re never going to compete.”

“Seriously, Jack, I’m not good company.”

“Let me make my own decision.” He sat beside her, and his warmth felt good even though she didn’t want it to.

“Beth, you know this takes time.”

“I’ve resigned myself to it never getting better. It’s too high a mountain to climb.” She pulled her knees up and rested her head over her crossed arms.

“Mom thought that. Hell, I thought that myself too.”

She peeked at him through her lashes, and saw him gazing off into the distance.

“Is this about your real dad?”

“It was bad. I don’t know everything that happened between Mom and Dad. From some of what she’s told me, it was awful.” Beth rested one hand on his shoulder.

“She tried to protect me as best she could. Dad threatened to kill me if she tried to leave. She didn’t have a job or family...I remember always feeling helpless. I wanted to help protect her. I hated feeling so defenseless. So weak.”

“Exactly!”
Jack did understand!

“All I can tell you is for me and my mom it got better.”

“Your mom is stronger than I am.”

“I think the world of my mom. But you, Elsbeth Hildago, are extraordinary.”

She looked into Jack’s deep blue eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. He made her
want
to climb mountains.

“Come on, what say you and I go visit the horses.  You’re not up for riding yet, but they’ve missed you.”

“No they haven’t.”

“You’ve claimed the heart of damn near every creature on this ranch.”  He stood and brushed off the back of his jeans, affording her a fine view of his ass.  He turned in time to see her admiring glance.  He gave her a slow grin as he held out his hand.

“Let’s go to the barn.”  She blushed as she took his hand.

Midway across the yard, he draped his arm over her shoulder and she leaned into him. 

––––––––

“J
ack, we have a major fucking problem.” His heart beat fast for a moment, and then returned to its normal rhythm. Now was the time for calm.

“What’s the problem, Mason?”

“Somehow it got into the system that Elsbeth Hildago was a patient at the San Antonio hospital.”

Jack didn’t say anything. It shouldn’t have been possible, but obviously, it was. No use crying over spilled milk. Instead he needed to focus on how to contain the damage.

“What options are you considering, Sir?”

“Clint wants her to go with him and Lydia.”

“That’s a negative.  We wanted them separate for a reason, it’s still valid now.”

“That’s what I think, but her cover is blown in San Antonio. What’s more, you’re on file as her fiancé. We need her transferred to somewhere new and split from you, too.”

“That’s a negative too, Sir.”

“You don’t have a choice, soldier. It’s an order.”

“You don’t understand the situation. This is the woman I’m going to marry. Where she goes, I go.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me.  She doesn’t know it yet, so keep it to yourself, but I intend to marry Beth.”

“You’re a stubborn son of a bitch, Preston.” Jack heard the other man sigh. “Okay, I hear you. We’ll make this work. You and Beth will stay together.”

“Thanks, Mason. You won’t regret this. I’ll protect her with my life.”

Jack brushed his thumb over the blank screen of his phone.  It was an earthshattering moment to realize you were so in love you intended to marry someone.  But there it was.  He intended to spend the rest of his life with Beth, and nobody was going to come between them.  Except maybe Beth.  He loved her so much that if this truly wasn’t what she wanted he’d step back.  It would kill him, but he would do it.

But he would bet anything if she wasn’t in love with him now, it was a near thing.  What was stopping her was her fear of intimacy and failing.  But he would do everything in his power to make sure those fears would not stop her from having her dreams come true.  He had a goal.  SEALs worked well with goals.  SEALs achieved their goals.  Jack smiled.

****

T
wo hours later he got the call from Clint with the plan.  He and Beth would be going to the Los Angeles area.

“It’ll be close enough to San Diego that we’ll be able to rotate in plenty of back-up.  You can get lost in L.A. County.  In the meantime, Lydia and I’ll be in San Diego.”