Hell's Knights (11 page)

His face scrunches in disgust, and that burns. It burns because that disgust isn’t just because of Jasper, it’s because of me. Because I allow it, because I stopped fighting.

“He hurts you, and you let him. Your mother treats you like a dog, and you let her. You won’t walk away because you’re scared if you do and we don’t work out, that you’ll have nothing.”

This hurts me. He has no idea how it is for me. I can’t walk away from this, because if I do, it could so easily backfire. If I step away from my mother, she won’t ever take me back. If it doesn’t work out with Billy, where does that leave me? Being forced to live like her? Being forced to sleep around to earn money? I have no skills. No one will take scum like me. It’s so easy for him to see the light at the end of the tunnel because he’s never had to walk in darkness.

“Have you ever spent a night on the streets, Billy?”

He scrunches up his face. “You know I haven’t.”

“Then you couldn’t begin to imagine how terrible it is. I would do anything to avoid ever having to go there again. You don’t understand my resistance, because you haven’t had to live the way I do.”

“If you would just trust me…”

“Trust isn’t the problem. The problem is that if you leave me, I have nothing.”

“You’re worrying about something that may never happen, Addison.”

“I have to protect myself, and if you’re not willing to wait…”

“I’ve waited over six months!” he yells. “How much longer do you need?”

I shake my head, swallowing down my emotions. “Never mind, Billy, do what you have to do.”

“Addison, this isn’t what I want, but your life is holding me back…”

I stare down at my hands and my eyes burn; they burn so badly I struggle to keep them open.

“Thanks for everything, Billy,” I whisper.

“Addison…”

“Please leave. If you’re going to leave, then walk out now because I can’t handle you standing here trying to make me feel better about the fact that you’re giving up on me.”

“God, Addison…”

“Leave.”

He does. He turns, walks to the door and only stops to whisper another sorry before he steps out. When he’s gone, the hot tears slip down my cheeks. My small chance of freedom just walked away from me, and there’s not a damned thing I can do to stop him. Not a single thing. I wrap my arms around my legs and rock backwards and forwards, fighting every part in me that screams to go after him. I can’t go after him. I know I can’t. Billy made it clear he’s not willing to fight. It’s just me now – I am all that I have left. How utterly pitiful.

“Well, well.”

I hear Jasper’s creepy voice, and snap my head up. He’s standing at the door Billy walked out of only five minutes earlier. He’s smiling, and it makes my stomach turn.

“Such a shame,” he purrs. “I thought he was a keeper.”

My blood goes cold. How did he know? Was he listening? Did he just stand there and wait for Billy to leave before he came in? I keep my hands firmly wrapped around my knees, not willing to move. Jasper walks in, running his fingers over the old mattered couch. I shudder, and not in a good way.

“What are we going to do now he’s gone?”

I swallow. For six month’s I’ve been free of Jasper. The idea of him touching me again makes me feel sick inside.

“Get lost,” I breathe. “I’ll call him and he’ll come back.”

Jasper throws his head back and laughs. “For scum like you? Oh snake, I don’t think so.”

“Just stay away from me!”

He grips his belt and begins undoing it.

“See, that’s not going to happen and you know it. You owe me.”

I close my eyes and pray that he dies right now of a heart attack, a stroke, anything. Anything to keep his filthy hands off me. I begin sobbing, which is so unlike me. I don’t sob. I don’t cry, I just go with everything that’s thrown at me. I don’t want to live in this nightmare anymore. There’s nothing left for me, nothing but darkness and pain. I shift off the couch, feeling my world spin as I back around behind it. Jasper continues to walk toward me, grinning. I reach into my bag and I pull out the pills my mother left behind this morning. I don’t know what they are, ecstasy maybe.

“That’s right snake, you know you can’t escape me.”

I pour all of them onto my hand, and I throw them into my mouth and swallow. Jasper’s eyes widen, and he lunges forward. I spin around, run into the bathroom, slam the door and lock it. I rush to the sink, lean over and swallow loads of water to make the process quicker. Then, I sink to the floor, hot tears pouring from my eyes.

“Open the door!” Jasper roars, pounding heavily with his fists.

I put my head in my hands and wait for darkness to win. I just want away from this pain. I’ll never be free of it. I honestly can’t think about anything but the gripping pain wrapping itself around my heart. There’s no escape, no matter which way I run. My only chance of survival is gone, and without even a ray of sunshine in my life, I’ve got nothing to hold onto. This is the only way.

The only way to find my light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

~*PRESENT*~

“What happened to the man?”

I’m lying in Cade’s bed, my eyes heavy and my body relaxed.

“What man?” I ask, running my fingers up and down his taut arms.

“You said the other day that you’ve only been with a few men, one of them saved you.”

I swallow and turn my face up towards the ceiling.

“He left me.”

Cade’s quiet a moment.

“Then he’s a cunt.”

I snort a laugh, and roll towards him. He rolls too, and we adjust ourselves so we’re face to face, hands tangled together.

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“He left ‘coz your life was too hard, yeah?”

I nod, avoiding his gaze. He reaches up between us and grips my chin, forcing me to look back at him. “That’s a coward’s way out, you know that?”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Little prick broke part of you though, didn’t he?”

“He made me stop believing.”

Cade’s eyes scan my face, and his mouth tightens. “No one ever has the right to take that away from another person.”

“He was all I had. He stopped the rape. He made me think I had a way out. He didn’t want to wait. He didn’t understand that I couldn’t just leave the situation I was in. What if it didn’t work out? My mother would have never taken me back.”

“Men with nice lives will never understand what it’s like to live with nothing.”

“No,” I say simply. “They won’t.”

“So he left, and then your ma died?”

“A few months later, yeah.”

“Then you ran?”

“I left,” I correct him, but I hear the lie in my voice.

“Lyin’, babe.”

“Stop telling me I’m lying; you don’t know my story, Cade.”

“No,” he says, rolling to his back. “I don’t know your story, but I can see the fear in your eyes.”

“You see years and years of bad things in my eyes. It’s not fear.”

“It is fear.”

“No, it’s not.”

He rolls again and grips my chin. “Sugar, it is.”

I jerk my chin from his grip and roll off the bed. I get to my feet and yank on my top.

“Don’t go runnin’ ‘coz I raised somethin’ you’re tryin’ to hide.”

I glare at him. “I’m going home because I’m tired.”

He puts his hands behind his head and stares over at me. “You always run when things go bad?”

My anger is boiling inside of me. “Whatever, Cade, I’m going. Thanks for tonight.”

“You wanna leave in a hiss, go ahead. I ain’t chasin’ ya, sugar. It ain’t how I roll. You wanna get into the bed; I’ll talk to you. I’ll fuck you again and I’ll even hold you while you sleep, but if you wanna storm out, I’m not comin’ after you. I don’t play with women. If they want the good side of me, they get in and let me give it, but if they wanna run out in a mood, that ain’t my issue.”

I pick up my purse and then turn to stare at him. “I don’t want or need you to chase me, Cade.”

Then I turn and walk out of the room. When I’m out the front door and walking down the road, my chest seizes because part of me, deep down, wanted him to chase me.

~*CHAPTER 12*~

PRESENT

I hear the rumble of a mass of Harley Davidson’s as I near Jackson’s house. I know it’s not Cade, because he’s not likely to be riding in a group only ten minutes after I left him naked in a bed. I turn and stare as the mass of headlights coming up and over the hill. I squint my eyes wondering if it’s Jackson heading home or out on a ride with the guys. When the bikes begin to slow down, I notice right away that it isn’t the Hell’s Knights. It’s another group and my body instantly seizes with panic. I take a few steps back, now understanding why walking home is not safe. I have no chance against this many bikers.

When the bikes come to a stop, the man in front on a dark black Fat Boy, gets off his bike and pulls off his helmet. I feel my eyes widen at the sight of him. He’s gorgeous, no, he’s beyond gorgeous. He’s to die for. He’s very different to Cade. While Cade is dark, dangerous and completely sexy – this man has lighter hair, darker eyes, but is just as completely terrifying to look at. His boots crunch in the dried up leaves on the road as he walks closer to me. When he stops in front of me, I see his eyes are so brown they nearly look black. He has sandy blonde hair that’s ruffled and he is covered in tattoos. I swallow, but square my shoulders. Maybe they’re friends of Jackson’s?

“Let me guess,” the biker purrs, his voice is rough, husky and very attractive. “You must be Jacks’ little girl?”

“I’m nobody’s little girl,” I say back, though my voice doesn’t come out as strong as I’d like.

Blondie chuckles and crosses his arms. He’s broad, not as tall as Cade but thicker across the shoulders.

“Heard all about you. I thought you would be a little more difficult to find though.”

I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”

He grins, showing me one perfect dimple. “Are you familiar with a man named Jasper?”

I flinch and he chuckles. “Thought so. See, I heard you left a bit of a mess behind and Jasper wasn’t very happy about it. So, he hired me. See, I’m a fantastic tracker, and he didn’t want to get his hands dirty. If he came after you, he was riskin’ too much, so here I am.”

I feel my hands shaking, but I clench them together. God, why did I leave Cade? Me and my stubborn mind.

“I did nothing to Jasper,” I say, my voice not as strong as it should be.

“Oh precious, we both know that’s a lie.”

“What do you want? To tell him where I am? Go ahead, I’ll run.”

The man laughs. “I’ll just find you. It wasn’t hard to do the first time; it won’t be again.”

“You found me because of my last name and the fact that my father is a biker. Do you think I’m stupid? You knew where to look, Jasper didn’t, so he sent a biker knowing he’d find another biker easily.”

Blondie’s face flinches, but I continue. “So go ahead, tell him. I’m only going to run.”

I take a step back, pull out my phone and press the speed dial to Cade. I put it in at the store the other day in case he decided he didn’t want to wait around for me and I needed to find him. Thank God for that.

“Who you callin’, precious? Daddy? He can’t help you.”

“I’m calling my…um…boyfriend, Cade.”

God, did I just say that? I sound so…childish. I do notice Blondie flinch at the mention of Cade’s name though, and that sparks my interest.

“Say again?” he rasps, his voice thick.

So he does know Cade? That’s interesting.

“He won’t be happy about this,” I attempt. “He’s part of my father’s club, and when the guys show up…”

“That’s where the little fuck went,” Blondie grunts, cutting me off.

“Sugar?” I hear in my ear as Cade answers the phone. “Did ya change your mind?”

“Cade, there’s this man and…”

Blondie smirks, then leans forward and snatches the phone from my hand and presses it to his ear.

“Cade, long time no see, brother.”

I hope he means that in the non-literal sense.

“Yeah, it’s Spike. Don’t sound so shocked, you didn’t think you’d never see me again, did you?”

What the hell is going down between these two?

“Oh, we’ll be waiting for you. By all means, bring your club. We’d love to tango.”

That doesn’t sound good.

Spike hangs up the phone and grins at me. “Well, well, you just made it all the more interesting. I’ve been looking to catch up with Cade for a long time.”

I cross my arms rubbing them. I have to get out of here. I have to escape while Cade distracts them. Provided Cade doesn’t show up, guns blaring. Then I won’t be able to run. It’s just not in me. I hope he shows up alone and whisks me away. I look over Spike’s shoulder at the six or so bikes still rumbling on the side of the road. At least, he doesn’t have all his guys with him, or maybe that is all of them. I can only hope so. I let my eyes fall on Spike’s again. I’m still shocked Jasper would contact a biker gang to locate me. That’s so…weak.

“Cade’s not going to let you share my location,” I say in a snarky voice.

“He can’t stop me, precious,” Spike grins. “And trust me when I say, I don’t owe him nothin’.”

“Just leave me be, Jasper asked for everything he got. I’m not doing anything wrong. I just want to start again.”

Spike shrugs. “Never said he didn’t ask for it. He pays me. I deliver. It’s that simple. No offence to you, precious.”

“No offence to me?” I growl. “You’re happy handing me back to a man who raped me my entire life?”

Spike jerks and his eyes widen. “What?”

“Some man you are.”

I hear the rumble of Harley’s and I see about ten of them come over the rise. Shit! Cade isn’t slow. I know most of the bikers would have been at the compound which is only a minute away, but still. He must have frantically made some calls. When the bikes slow down, I see that Jackson is up the front and Cade is behind him. They are the only two that get off, the others just idle away, like Spike’s guys are doing. The two men walk towards me, and I feel a mild amount of relief. I feel Cade’s fingers wrap around my wrist and hurl me backwards. I want to tuck myself into him and not move. He feels safe.