Heller's Revenge (27 page)

I squeezed his hand again. He
was so calm and matter-of-fact about the horrendous things he was
telling me.

“I didn’t go to school and I
didn’t have any books or toys. We had no relatives or friends. Mum
didn’t beat me or anything. She just totally ignored me. Sometimes
nobody spoke to me for weeks. I remember being hungry all the time
and so cold in winter. Men used to come over and sometimes they’d
be violent. They didn’t care that there was a kid in the house. I
watched them do everything to Mum. I’ve seen everything, Tilly.
Everything.
And she didn’t care what they did to her as long
as they gave her some money for drugs. She’d offer to let them do
things to me too sometimes, but I was such a dirty little kid that
nobody took up her offer. And because of that, I always tried to
keep out of the way when there were any men around.”

He took a sip of water from the
glass on the bedside table. Tears pricked my eyes, but I blinked
them away. I’d had enough of crying.

“One night I was sitting in the
front yard on the fence, huddled in the cold. It was late and Mum
had someone with her, so I was staying out of their way. I remember
I was starving, as usual. Heller walked past on the footpath,
eating a sandwich. He must have been walking home from a job. I was
in awe of him. To me he looked like some kind of god, he was so big
and beautiful. He stopped when he saw me and asked me what I was
doing up so late and whether I was okay. I thought he had such a
strange voice. You’ll laugh, but I thought he was an alien or
something. I didn’t realise then that he had an accent. I’d never
heard one before.”

He shifted in the bed to a more
comfortable position and continued. “But I was surprised that
someone would stop to speak to me. I had decided when I was about
seven that I must be invisible, because everyone ignored me. I
remember asking him if he could see me. I think it was the first
time I had spoken for weeks. He laughed and said of course he
could, and asked me again if I was okay. That made me sure that he
was an alien, because he could see me when nobody else could. I
must have been staring at his sandwich, because he offered it to
me. My hunger overcame my shyness, and I grabbed it and stuffed it
in my face, I was so hungry. Then he gave me the other half of the
sandwich. And when I wolfed that down too, he rummaged in his
backpack and handed me an apple as well. I took it. So much for not
taking candy from a stranger!”

I laughed. “At least he was a
health-conscious stranger.”

“We struck up a weird kind of
friendship after that. He walked past the house as much as possible
to check on me, and always had some food with him. My whole reason
for living became him talking to me. I never said much to him,
because I never had much to say. Over time, he asked me questions
about my mother and my situation. He found out quite a lot about
me. I think he was concerned.

“Then one day, he asked me if I
was okay and I burst into tears. I told him that Mum hadn’t moved
for days. She was lying on the floor in her bedroom and had started
to smell bad. He walked into the house and came out after a few
minutes, and took my hand and led me back to his house.” He laughed
self-consciously. “I really thought he was going to take me to a
spaceship and we would fly off to another, more wonderful, world.
But it was just an ordinary house he took me too. But I would have
followed him to the end of the universe, Tilly. And that’s how he
kidnapped me. He bathed me, clothed me, fed me, cared for me,
caught me up on my education, taught me how to look after myself,
gave me a real family with him, the twins and Daniel. And here I
am. That’s why he’s like a father to me.”

“And nobody’s ever tried to find
you? It seems incredible that a child can disappear and no one
notices.”

He was sad for a brief moment.
“Nobody cared, Tilly. I don’t know what happened to my mother. I
think Heller rang up anonymously to report her overdose so that she
could be buried at least. Then not long after that we moved here to
the Warehouse and Heller started his own business.”

“I don’t know if that’s a sad
story or a happy story, Niq. You won’t remember, but when we were
at the shopping centre before the accident, you told me that I was
like a mother to you. It nearly made me cry when you said
that.”

“I don’t remember that, but it’s
true. You are like a mother to me. I kind of wish . . .”

“What, sweetie?”

“That you and Heller would get
married one day. Then I’d have real parents, like other kids.”

“That’s not going to happen,
Niq. Sorry. Heller’s not really the marrying type. And I’m not sure
I am either.”

“I can still hope.”

“There’s always hope, Niq,” I
sighed, reaching over to ruffle his hair.

Chapter 18

Saturday night came at last. I
couldn’t wait to see Will again. Daniel and the twins were going to
entertain Niq for the evening while Heller and I were out. Will and
I were staying in as usual, so I dressed casually in jeans and a
t-shirt. Heller was out on the prowl though, so he spent some time
getting ready. I relaxed on the bed and watched him dress and groom
himself.
Lucky woman who captured his attention tonight
, I
thought, jealous. He wore an ice-blue shirt that matched his eyes
and black jeans and a black leather jacket. He looked good enough
to eat.

“How do I look?” he asked.

“Delicious,” I said
honestly.

He smiled at his reflection.
“Then let’s hope there’s a lovely lady out there who’s very hungry
tonight.”

“Have you ever come home without
getting laid?”

He considered for only an
instant. “No.”

Because he almost never drank,
Heller never had to worry about getting home after a night out – he
drove himself home. He dropped me off at Will’s house and I kissed
him chastely on the cheek.

“Have fun tonight,” I said to
him.

“I plan to. You enjoy yourself
too.”

“I fully intend to enjoy myself
as many times as is humanly possible in one night.”

“Remember to take it easy
though. You’re not ready for wild, swinging-from-the-ceiling sex
yet.”

I mock-pouted. “Spoilsport.
That’s my favourite kind.”

I left him chuckling and made my
way to the door. He waited until Will let me inside and then drove
away. Will fed me a tasty dinner that neither of us gave any
justice to, rushing through it in our eagerness to get our hands on
each other. We didn’t even bother to clear the table before we were
discarding each other’s clothes, frantically kissing, stumbling up
the hallway to his bedroom.

He pushed me back onto his bed,
his lips locked onto mine, his tongue thrusting forcefully in my
mouth. We clutched each other greedily, desperate for intimate
physical contact. He impatiently tore off my panties and prised my
legs apart with his knee, driving into me lustfully and making me
gasp with desire. He slammed into me repeatedly, and I shouted at
him to go harder and faster, my legs wrapped around his body, my
hands tousling his hair. It was a terrible mixture of pain and
pleasure as he pounded me – pain and pleasure, pain and pleasure,
pain and pleasure, then pain, pain, pain, then pleasure, nothing
but orgasmic pleasure. I savoured the building momentum of
sensation inside me until it reached an intensity that was almost
unbearable, before strong waves pulsated through me. I screamed
joyously with release mere moments before he also came, riding out
our spasms together. He collapsed onto me with exhaustion, both of
us panting heavily.

“Oh God, I needed that,” he
confessed, catching his breath. “It’s been far too long.”

“I know.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“A little, but it was worth it.”
I snuggled up to him and we shared a tender kiss before dozing for
a while.

Our next time was slower, more
caring, loving and sweet. He was gentle and considerate, guiding me
to my orgasm before revelling in his own. We lay on our sides,
looking at each other, our legs tangled together.

“I love you, Tilly.”

“I love you too, Will.” And at
that moment, I meant it.

“Can I start planning our
weekend away?”

“I need to find out when I’m
free first.”

“Okay. Tell me as soon as you
know.”

His fingers brushed lightly
against the scarring low on my belly from the operations I’d had,
and leaned down to kiss it softly. I plucked up the courage to tell
him that I wouldn’t be able to have children now. I had no idea how
he would react to momentous news like that.

“Oh.” A pause. “Oh,” was all he
said and he threw himself back on the bed, staring up at the
ceiling.

“It matters to you, doesn’t it?”
I tried not to sound bitter.

“I’d be lying to you if I didn’t
say that I always hoped to become a father one day. So yeah, I
guess it does matter to me.” He stared at the ceiling for a long
minute. I watched him the whole time, not believing the incredible
hurt that swamped me, trying to maintain my composure.
Oh, that
car crash
, I thought with vicious resentment,
it was the
gift that kept on giving.

Then he leant on one elbow and
looked at me, into the depths of my eyes, a lovely smile crossing
his face. “But the thing is that I love
you
, Tilly, and that
means that I love you the way you are. So I don’t really care that
you can’t have children, as long as I can have you.”

Tears sprang to my eyes
immediately and I leaned in to give him a fierce hug. “Thank you
for saying that, Will. It means a lot to me,” I whispered into his
hair. Then we kissed for a long time before we fell asleep,
clasping hands.

We were woken by repeated, firm
knocking on the front door. I sat up drowsily and looked at the
clock. It was 4:20 AM.

“It’s Heller,” I mumbled to
Will.

“I’ll get the door,” he said,
and climbed out of bed, pulling on some boxers. He padded out to
the front door, while I scrambled to find my clothes, which were
spread out over a few rooms. I dressed quickly in what I could find
in the vicinity and joined the men, surreptitiously picking up the
other pieces of clothing as I went. Will had his arms crossed
defensively across his chest as if he regretted not pulling on a
t-shirt, dwarfed by Heller’s greater height and bulk.

Heller’s face wore the usual
relaxed sensuous look that spoke volumes of his activities during
the evening. He gave me that sexy half-smile that I loved so much,
his eyes roving over the dinner plates still sitting on the dining
table, leftover food long congealed, and our clothing that formed a
debauched trail from the dining table to Will’s bedroom. Heller
picked up my bra, which was lying near his feet where I had thrown
it last night, and dangled it from one finger, an eyebrow raised in
query. I snatched it off him, embarrassed, and shoved it into my
handbag.

“Ready to go, Matilda?”

“Yep.” I kissed Will goodbye,
squeezed his hand, and promised to be in contact soon. I followed
Heller to his Mercedes, yawning all the way.

“Looks like you two were in a
hurry last night,” he teased as we drove away.

“We had some urgent business to
attend to,” I replied with great dignity.

“I hope there was a satisfactory
outcome for you.”

“Several in fact. How about
you?”

“I also managed to conduct
multiple satisfactory business transactions during the evening.”
That sly half-smile again. We drove in silence for a while.

“Niq told me yesterday how you
met. It was a very touching story.”

“He was such a special little
kid. So solemn, so quiet, with those big eyes. I’m such a sucker
for big, beautiful eyes.” A sideways glance at me, before his eyes
returned to the road. “He deserved a better chance in life than
what he’d been dealt. He was filthy and half-starved. He would have
been fostered out if I hadn’t taken him. He had nobody in the
world. Absolutely nobody. I couldn’t let that happen to him. Nobody
even cared when he disappeared. Just one less messed-up kid for the
government to worry about, if they even knew about him in the first
place. His mother wasn’t the model of a good citizen.”

“Was it an overdose that killed
her like Niq thinks?”

There was silence for a while.
He sounded uncharacteristically evasive when he finally responded.
“Hard to say. She wasn’t pretty by the time I saw her. I’ve always
wondered what Niq witnessed. He’s never spoken about it. Hopefully
he doesn’t remember.”

“Poor Niq,” I declared
sincerely. “You’re an extraordinary person, Heller.”

“I don’t think so. I’m no saint,
Matilda. You, of all people, know that.” More silence. “I think
it’s time for you to go back to work. You’ve had enough sick
leave.”

“You have a job for me?”

“Mmm, I’m not sure. Come and
talk to me after lunch.” He yawned. “I need to get some sleep
first.”

“No sleep last night?”

“She was . . . enthusiastic. And
energetic. I’m worn out. And anyway, I never sleep during those
outings. That’s when you’re robbed or have your photo taken, or
both.” I smiled, thinking of Dixie, then frowned, thinking of
Gayle.

We pulled into the Warehouse and
walked up the stairs to his flat to shower. If I was returning to
work, I’d better collect my things and move back into my place. I
didn’t test how I felt about that. I’d enjoyed sharing Heller’s
bed, but had to admit that he was a temptation that was becoming
harder and harder to resist each night. It was probably for the
best if I moved back home. But for tonight, we climbed into bed
together and fell asleep immediately.

For once, I woke before him and
lazed in bed enjoying the simple pleasure of watching him sleep.
His beautiful face was tranquil and almost vulnerable in slumber.
It was very appealing. A rush of emotion for him swamped me. I
never really allowed myself to properly examine my feelings for
him, because deep down it frightened me to think that I might love
him. Loving Heller would be dangerous and foolish. Letting myself
love Heller would only be buying a one-way ticket on the Heartbreak
Express, and I’ve always been too much of a coward to willingly
step into such an emotional maelstrom.