Heller’s Decision (33 page)

I stared down at him, unsmiling. “Don’t
ever speak to me again or try to contact me. Don’t come near me or
anyone I know. And most of all, stay away from Heller if you value
your life.”

Not waiting for his response I stalked
away. But back in my car, I sat unmoving for a while, still shaken
by the recent events, my hands still stained with Malefic’s blood.
This city had its crime problems, sure, but it was rare for someone
to be shot during the day on a busy street. With trembling hands, I
started the car, feeling something in my pocket knocking against
the centre console. My hand closed around Meredith’s
vial.

I took it from my pocket and stared at it
for a moment. I should
have just tipped the contents on to the concrete floor of
the parking station, thrown the bottle in the nearby bin and never
thought about this ‘adventure’ again. But for some reason I
couldn’t explain, I placed it gently in the console’s drink holder
and reversed out of the park, on my way home.

I climbed the stairs wearily to the main
office and went straight to Heller’s office. He looked up at my
arrival with a smile on his lips that faded when he saw my
face.

“Matilda, what happened? You have blood on
you.” He sprang up and strode over taking my bloodied hands in
his.

I looked down at them, almost in a daze.
“He shot Malefic. That crazy Reverend did. In front of all of us.
He was going to shoot one of the Cybelians too. He wanted to kill
them both.”

“
Did he die?” It sounded a caring question,
but his tone was unmistakably dispassionate as if he didn’t care
one way or another if Malefic had or not. He was merely
curious.

“
Not yet. I don’t know how bad it was.
Malefic was holding my shoulders when it happened. That Reverend
could have shot me too. I had to stand in front of him to stop him
shooting Malefic again, but it was no use. He did it
anyway.”

“
Don’t ever put yourself in danger like
that again, my sweet,” he scolded gently, leading me outside to the
kitchenette and washing my hands free of blood for me. He dampened
some paper towel and wiped some spots of blood from my face and
neck. “You’re not experienced at disarming people with
guns.”

“Maybe I should be? I seem to come into
contact with them a lot.”

“
No, that is not the path I hope for
you.”

I looked into his eyes, puzzled by that
statement. His eyes gave me no clue and although I saw warmth and
concern in them, there were other, deeper, emotions more difficult
to decipher. He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead.

“
Go have a shower and change out of those
clothes. That will make you feel better.” He leaned down to whisper
in my ear. “I will come to help you wash yourself, if you
like.”

I smiled reluctantly. “I think I can manage
by myself, Mr One-Track-Mind.”

He smacked my butt lightly as I left,
immediately provoking Niq to complain yet again about any contact
between Heller and me that even slightly alluded to our sexual
relationship. I left them with Heller gently teasing, Niq heatedly
denying he would
ever
feel that
way about girls and that it was a nauseating prospect to even
consider. Daniel watched them bicker in amusement, and it was
wonderful to see the ghost of his smile. I stood at the door for a
moment, witnessing the touching family moment, my heart bursting
with the love I felt for these three guys, so glad that I was part
of this little family. And it was with a much lighter heart that I
went to my flat for a shower.

After I’d scrubbed myself three times and
washed my hair twice, I finally felt as if I’d removed some of the
horror of the day. With nothing to do for the rest of the day, and
not wanting to sit around brooding over the ugliness I’d witnessed,
I sauntered back down to the office to ask Niq if he wanted to
visit the shopping centre with me. He eagerly agreed, making me
feel a little guilty that it had been so long since I’d had time to
do that with him.

“Danny?” I asked hesitantly. “Do you want to
come with us too?”

The residual smile he still wore dulled to
nothing. He looked down at his hands, as if ashamed. “I-I don’t
know if I can, Tilly.”

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and
leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I’ll . . .”
I looked over at Niq. “
We’ll
look after you.”

His eyes beseeched me when they met mine.
“I just don’t know if I can leave here.”

Heller came out of his office and leaned
on his doorway, his arms crossed, listening.

Daniel turned to him. “What do you think,
Heller?”

“
I don’t think you’re ready, my dearest
boy. But the decision is yours, as always.” He threw me a
significant glance. “Matilda will respect whatever you
decide.”

I squeezed his shoulders. “Of course I
will.”

He thought about it for a minute. “I think
I’ll pass, Tilly. I hope you don’t mind.”

I hugged him again. “You have to do what is
right for you, Danny. Do you want us to bring you back
anything?”

“No, thanks.”

“
I’m going to bring back tons of stuff,”
said Niq, almost bouncing up and down with excitement. “There are
so many things I want that I’m too impatient to wait for the mail
to deliver.”

“Go easy on my credit card, Niq,” Heller
warned mildly. “You’ve been buying a lot of merchandise online
lately.”

“
Aw, Heller, but I
need
all that stuff. My life wouldn’t be complete
without it.” He gave Heller a dose of his winning smile and big
eyes.

“Oh, brother,” I said, rolling mine. “Give
the boy an Oscar.”

“Child, what you need is to make sure your
school work is up-to-date.”

“
Aw, Heller! Don’t be boring. I promise
I’ll finish it tonight. I really, really, really want to go to the
shopping centre with Tilly. She never has any time to take me there
anymore.”

Geez, pile on the guilt, kid!

“Why are you home early anyway?” asked
Daniel. “Did you get fired again?”

“
I didn’t get fired from
Heller’s
. I was
suspended,” I reminded him with great dignity. “And I’m pretty sure
Trent
hasn’t
fired
me.”

“You don’t know?”

“
To be honest, I’m too scared to ring him
to find out. I’m about fifty percent sure I still have a job
there.”

“
Your belongings are pro
bably sitting out on the curb.”

I pouted at him.

Heller sighed with tolerant exasperation.
“Daniel, don’t tease Matilda. She’s had a difficult day.” He slid
his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Let’s
make sure it doesn’t become any more difficult, hmm?”

“
Nothing’s going to happen. You worry too
much,” I said with forced breeziness, heading for the stairs. “Come
on, Niq. Let’s get out of here.”

Chapter 22

And as if fate had decided that I’d had
enough excitement for one day, nothing
did happen. Niq and I shopped, though in reality I
was more of a pack-mule for Niq’s mountain of shopping. I reminded
him on several occasions of Heller’s warning about him overusing
the credit card.

“
Tilly,” he pleaded, “but I really need
this . . .
(book, anime
comic, pair of jeans, DVD) . . . It will be the last thing, I
promise.” But then along came another last thing and another and
another. And I realised one thing about myself – I couldn’t say no
to my sweet boy, so I let him buy whatever he wanted. He’d had a
bad start to life and maybe this was some sort of psychological
response to the neglect and poverty he’d suffered. Or maybe the kid
just loved to shop. I was no psychologist, so . . .
whatever.

At a small coffee shop, I’d given in again
and let him order a chocolate milk shake and
a cinnamon muffin, even though I knew
Heller wouldn’t approve.
Never mind
, I thought. Niq would probably stay at Daniel’s place
tonight, so he would bear the consequences of his forthcoming sugar
high. If I were lucky, Heller wouldn’t even find out about it,
though I knew that was a vain wish. Heller knew everything that
went on in his business and his home.

Well, almost everything. He didn’t know
about the vial of love potion I’d secreted in one of my kitchen
cupboards, the last place he’d ever look. Thinking of it made me
giggle, so I told Niq about it, probably not a smart move
considering the kid’s propensity for blurting out truths at
inconvenient moments. He sat, goggled-eyed at my description of
Malefic and the Cybelians and their potions.

“Are you going to use it?” he asked.

“
Nah. I don’t think so. I just want to put
all that magic nonsense behind me because it was such a horrible
day. And I only bought it because I felt sorry for that
woman.”

He was quiet for a while, munching on his
muffin. “Tilly?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Now that you and Heller are all mushy and
everything, do you think you’ll get married and have a baby?”

“I can’t have any babies, sweetie. You know
that. And as for getting married, I don’t think so. I don’t really
think that’s part of Heller’s plan for his life.”

“So you’re just going to be his girlfriend
forever?”

I didn’t want to raise his hopes – or
mine. “I don’t know, Niq. Probably not. Heller will probably move
on to someone else one day.” Or a multitude of someone
elses.

“
But why would he do that when he has
you?”

Oh boy!
“Niq,” I started carefully, “Sometimes
relationships aren’t equal. One person cares more about the other.
The other person might decide to end the relationship and move on
because they don’t care as much. Do you understand?”

“
Yes, but that’s
not fair. If Heller does that to you, I’m going to
hate him. And I’m going to tell him I hate him.” His chin lifted
defiantly.

“Niq, you’re not going to hate him. That’s
just the way life is. Yes, it’s very painful and hard to get over,
but you can’t force people to love you.”

“
Why not? When I get a girlfriend, I’m
going to force her to love me. I’m going to buy her things so she
does.”

“
But then you’ll never know if she loves
you or just the things you buy her. Do you see? Relationships are
complicated and sometimes your heart will be broken.”

He stood. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be here
anymore.”

And just when I thought fate would be
gentle with me, we ran in
to Will and Penny out shopping. Will pushed a fancy,
expensive pram where his baby daughter sprawled, fast asleep. After
what had already happened today, I really could have done without
the encounter.

“
Tilly!” Will hailed as I tried to scurry
past, my head turned in the opposite direction, pretending I
was looking at the merchandise
on display in a shop and that I hadn’t seen them.

Niq and I
were forced to stop. “Will. Penny. How nice to see
you,” I said with shameful insincerity and a fake expression of
surprise.

“
You’re looking great. Really good,” Will
said, a completely inappropriate comment to say to another woman
while he was with his wife. But to be truthful, Penny seemed to be
struggling to lose the weight she’d gained during her pregnancy.
Will also had put on some kilos since I’d last seen him. Married
life was making him comfortable. Not that I could point the finger,
considering my own unwanted extra kilograms, which I’d still not
managed to shift.

I didn’t respond, but instead looked into
the pram at the slumbering baby. All I could see was her head
poking through the blanket, her mop of brown curly hair already
promising her resemblance to her father. “She’s beautiful. So tiny.
What’s her name?”

“Amelia,” Will said proudly, doting love
making his face goofy.

“She’s very beautiful,” I repeated.

“The most beautiful baby in the world,” Will
said.

Penny
placed her hand on her belly. “Can you believe we’re
pregnant again?”

“
Already?” I blurted out, then tried to
cover up my rudeness. “I’ve heard that’s a good way of having your
children. Close together like that.”

“
It’s Will’s fault
,” she giggled. “He just loves being a father so
much he didn’t want to wait too long for our next. Did you,
darling?”

“
That’s just . . . just . . . wonderful.
Congratulations,” I spluttered. “We won’t hold you up. Niq and I
were just . . .” My memory completely failed me about what we’d
been doing.

“
Going home, Tilly,” Niq helpfully
reminded.

“
That’s right.” I held up the many bags I
carried. “
We’re all
shopped out. Better hurry home before we spend any more
money.”

Will’s face fell. “Oh, that’s a shame. I
thought you might like to join
us for a coffee or something. To catch up.”

Penny’s tone grew a little sharper.
“Darling, she said they have to go.” Her smile was even more
insincere than mine had been when Will called my name. “So nice to
see you again, um . . . um . . .”