Hell Bent (5 page)

And that life didn’t include these emotions he had no use for, but was feeling anyway.

“Well, you have your
ride
, so I guess you don’t need me.  Have a nice weekend,” Cade said breezily as he gathered up his weapons.  He felt Cecelia’s hot gaze on him as he brushed past them and walked out the door.

CHAPTER THREE

“Your brother offered me a job,” Keegan said out of the blue, as he stroked Cee Cee’s hair while she lay in his lap and they watched a movie.

When they finished with dinner both of them were too stuffed with sushi to go riding, and Keegan said his ass was sore anyway from the long two-day ride on his bike to get to Dallas, so they decided to rent a movie.  Surprised, Cee Cee leaned up to look at him in the glow from the television. 

“Logan offered you a job?”  She didn’t quite know how to feel about that.  “Doesn’t he know you’re an active duty SEAL?  Didn’t you tell him?”

“Yeah, and we got to talking.  He asked when my contract was up, and I told him it’s up when I come back from leave.  That’s one of the reasons I came to see you…I wanted to talk about us.”

“What
us
?” Cee Cee tensed as her eyes flew to his.  With the only light in the room coming from the glow of the small television, she couldn’t see the look on Keegan’s face clearly, but she could see he wasn’t smiling.   He was serious, and that worried her.  Turning a little more toward him, she put her hand on his shoulder. 

“Keeg, we decided we were better off as friends with benefits, didn’t we?”

“We did…”  His eyebrows crashed down over his eyes, as his arm tightened around her hips. “But that was because you were always on the move, and I was always being called up for—um—training missions.  I’ve been in for twelve years now, and I’m not sure I want to re-up. I want a normal life again.”  He huffed a breath.  “If I sign again, it’d be for another six years, so I might as well just make it eight to get my twenty in and retire, if my body holds up that long.”

“You’re not sick are you?” Cee Cee asked as worry shot through her.  “Did you get hurt? Is that why you’re on leave?” 

“No, I didn’t get hurt and I’m not sick.” Keegan’s laugh rumbled under her palm.  “I just realized at thirty years old I’m not as young as I used to be.”  He ruffled her hair, then leaned down to drop a kiss on her mouth.  “And maybe it’s time I thought about settling down, getting into something else, a job that doesn’t wake me up at zero dark thirty to go to the ends of the earth for who knows how long.”

Oh,
God
—he couldn’t be leading up to what she thought he was leading up to.  He
couldn’t
be…they both agreed to keep things light between them.  But maybe she was imagining things. 

“Yeah, you’ve put a lot into the Navy.  Leaving before you can retire with full benefits would be a big decision for sure.”

“You could make it easier for me,” he said, sliding his hand into her hair.

Cee Cee knew right then it wasn’t her imagination.  Keegan
was
going there.

She sat up, straddled his hips with her knees and took his face in her palms.  “Keegan, I like you so damned much.  I really,
really
like you.  You’re one of the best men I know.  You’re hot and funny and a damned good kisser, but I think we got it right when we decided to be friends.”

“With benefits,” he added dryly.

“I thought that’s why you were coming to see me,” Cee Cee admitted.

“I thought so too, until I was halfway here and wondered what the hell I was doing riding to Texas to see a woman when there were plenty in Virginia.  When I got back from that last mission and heard you didn’t re-enlist, that you’d left, something clicked for me, Ceese.  I really have missed you.” 

He shoved his hand into the back of her hair and pulled her mouth to him.  Cee Cee moaned when his lips brushed hers.  His tongue traced the seam of her lips and she opened them with a sigh, wilting into his sexy, comforting kiss.  His hand slid over her hip and sneaked under the hem of her shirt.  When his palm branded the skin at her waist and slid upward, Cee Cee put her hand over it and sat back.  Her chin dropped to her chest and she sighed. 

What in the hell was wrong with her? 

She and Keegan were hot as hell in bed and she’d missed him too.  But the fact that he was hinting he wanted more frankly scared the hell out of her.  Because as much as she liked him, she didn’t love him.  And every time she closed her eyes she saw that look on Cade’s face when he walked out of the range.

“Who was that guy at the range with you?” Keegan asked, as if reading her mind. 

That was another thing that scared her about him—Keegan always seemed tuned into her emotions so closely he almost knew what she was thinking.  But the man was perfect for her, they had so damned much fun together, so much in common. 

Why in the hell couldn’t she love him?

“Cade Winters,” she replied, not sure if she was answering his question or her own.

“Operator?  Does he work for Deep Six too?” Keegan asked, his voice even, but a note of speculation there.

“Yeah, he was in Delta.”  Cee Cee dragged her eyes from his.  “He’s one of my brother’s friends and was hired for a mission about the same time Slade hired me.  That mission is over and he’s still around, so I guess he works for us.”  Cee Cee didn’t know for sure, because nobody talked to her about anything that had to do with Deep Six business.  All she knew for sure was that he was on the agent roster that she kept up.

“Is he your friend too?  Since you have his name tattooed on your ass, I suspect he must mean something to you,” Keegan said, his grin blinding, but definitely forced.

“
Meant
—he’s nothing to me now.” 

Why the hell did her voice sound so unconvinced? 

Speaking of tattoos, something else occurred to her right then.  At the compound a few weeks ago she’d seen Cade shirtless out in the yard at the compound working on his monster truck.  She hadn’t been able to keep her eyes from covertly drinking in his rock hard body, it was just too damned beautiful to ignore. 

What she failed to realize at the time, though, was that her name, which used to curve along the inside of his pec near his heart, was now hidden under those thick bands of black tribal art that snaked over his biceps, shoulders and chest. 

The night they’d gotten the tattoos replayed in her mind and blood rushed up to her head to make her dizzy.  A little too much beer pong at a frat party led them to a twenty-four-hour tattoo parlor to make things ‘official’ between them after dating six months.  It also led them to cement their relationship in other ways too—sex on every flat surface in his efficiency apartment. 

Their first time, and her first time ever.  The next morning they woke up naked together, permanently branded and worn out.

“Tattooing a man’s name on your ass kind of means you’re stuck with him.”  Keegan’s words and laugh dragged Cecelia back to reality.  She felt his intense eyes on her, studying her as if trying to read her mind again.  He did that a lot, and she hoped like hell he wasn’t reading her mind at that moment.

“No, it means I need to go have that taken care of as soon as possible.”  Maybe she should go have a nice big
frog
drawn to cover it.  That definitely fit Cade Winters and the situation.

“So the devil is ice-skating in hell and your brother finally hired you, huh?”

Keegan evidently remembered that she told him that David said it would be a cold day in hell before he ever hired her, which spurred her enlistment in the Army.

“No, his second-in-command hired me.  I’m still frozen out, but at least David is tolerating me as the team secretary.  Sitting at that desk is driving me insane, though, and I’ve thought more than once lately I should’ve just re-upped,” Cee Cee admitted.

“Bet that was a helluva fireworks show when your brother found out that guy hired you.” 

“Not as much as you’d think, but some, yeah.”  She dragged her eyes away.  “I’m—ah—sorry I left without saying goodbye, but Slade said he needed me here as soon as possible.  Probably so I was in place before Dave and Susan got back.”

“I was gone, so it wasn’t your fault.  You didn’t know when I’d be back stateside,” he murmured into her hair, then sighed.  “I just felt like something was left hanging with us, so here I am trying to figure out what that is.”

She shoved back from him to look into his eyes, fought hard to push words past the knot of emotion threatening to choke her, but before she could speak, he put his finger over her lips. 

“I’m not pressuring you, Ceese.  I just want to spend some time with you to see where this goes.”  His eyebrow lifted, along with the corner of his mouth.  “Unless, I’m too late?”

Cee Cee shook her head from side to side because she still couldn’t speak. 
Too late?
  About eight years too late, and it was a damned shame.

“Good, then we are going to hang out, do fun things and other things if you’re inclined.  When you tell me it’s time to leave, I’m out.”

Cee Cee knew where things were going here.  She also knew covering that damned tattoo on the back of her hip with a frog wasn’t going to do the job of cutting Cade Winters from her heart.  She and Cade were the ones who’d left things hanging between them for six years.  Until they finished those things, she now realized she would never be able to move on, or connect with another man in a permanent way. 

All the temporary relationships she’d had since him, the ones she’d blamed on moving around so much with the military, weren’t a result of that at all.  She’d been harboring the hurt Cade dealt her six years ago, letting it fester inside of her and cause her to close herself off from other men.  Because she was afraid they’d hurt her too.

“What did you tell David about taking the job he offered you?” Cee Cee asked. 

God, she hoped he hadn’t committed to it because, considering her revelations a moment ago, that would be a disaster.

“I told him I’d think about it and agreed we’d take a ride out to his compound tomorrow to talk about it more.”  His genuine smile said he was excited about it.

Cee Cee wasn’t excited in the least. 

She wanted to spend time with Keegan, relax with him and have some fun.  Going to her brother’s compound this weekend would not accomplish that.  She should probably just tell him to go back to Virginia now, but she couldn’t do it.  He’d ridden all this way just to see her so that would be a very shitty thing to do.  This was his vacation and she wasn’t going to ruin it for him. 

Well, she would, but she would at least spend a little time with him first.

“You okay with that?” he asked, kissing her temple. “From the directions he gave me, it sounds like it will be a long ride out in the country—just what you said you wanted.”

Just what she wanted.  Like she wanted a hole in her head the size of that bullet Cade put into the forehead of the target at the range today with that bazooka he brought with him.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she said with a long sigh.

“Good, because even if I don’t take the job, I’m damned curious to see his compound.  Logan also said he was inviting the other SEAL who works for him out there to talk to me.  Jaxson Thomas? Do you know him?”

“No, I haven’t met him yet.”  Jaxson had quit the company before she’d been hired.  He was officially back on their roster now, but he was taking some time off with his new wife before coming back full-time.

“We’ll kill two birds with one stone, then…”  He smiled at her, and it warmed Cee Cee’s cold insides.  “Three really, because we’ll get our ride in the country out of the way too.” 

Keegan’s smile met her mouth as he hugged her to him, his tongue rasped over her lower lip looking for entry but she didn’t open.  In a similar motion, his thumb stroked over her nipple and Cee Cee tensed.  Making out with Keegan didn’t hold its appeal now, having sex with him held even less.  This was just leading him on, and she refused to do that.  Pushing back, she placed her hand over his heart and it hammered against her palm as she met his confused eyes.

“It’s been a really crappy week and I’m so tired.  Can we just go to bed?” 

And tomorrow, I’m going to send you back where you belong, at least until I bury a few ghosts.

***

Cade’s palm heated as he bounced the basketball at his side while studying the subtle movements of Hawk’s body.  The tall, leanly muscled pilot guarded him as well as any point guard in the NBA and was pretty agile for a freaking flyboy.  Faking left, Cade rolled to the right and thought he had him, but met the hard wall of Hawk’s chest.  He faded back, dribbled more and watched for his opportunity. 

Minutes passed as the morning sun beat down on his bare back, beads of sweat streaked down his forehead into his eyes to burn them, and his heart pounded in his ears as he waited.  He had to make a move soon, because if he just stood there dribbling, Hawk would steal the ball from him like he had earlier.  The pilot watched the ball like the bird for which he was named, so Cade knew that was just his plan too.

A loud engine roared and the gate rattled as it slid open, drawing Hawk’s attention away for a split second.  Cade took the opening, drifted right and leapt high to let the ball go on a trajectory he knew would put it right into the center of the net. 

Swoosh—all net, baby
. 

Hawk cursed, and Cade grinned in victory. 

“That’s ten,
Jordan
—don’t ever take your eye off of the ball,” he said breathing hard, as he bent over to put his palms on his knees and catch his breath.  Hawk didn’t even respond to the trash talk, he just stood there slack-jawed, staring at the front entrance.  Cade stood, and swiped his forearm over his eyes before turning to see what held both Hawk and Jaxson’s rapt attention.