Held (Gone #2) (24 page)

He made his way to the entrance, looking for a valuable piece of evidence. He couldn't allow himself to miss anything. If there was anything he could do to help Macy, he had to do it.

Eyes still to the ground, he went inside. He hadn't seen anything other than trash, and given that they had a janitorial staff, anything useful would have been cleaned up and removed. He took his attention from the ground and looked around at the stores. Nothing interested him—how could it?

As he meandered, Chad noticed people whispering. Now he regretted not grabbing a baseball cap. He could've lowered it over his face to get attention away from him.

He would just have to ignore them, as uncomfortable as it was. Then a thought hit him: this must have been what Macy felt like at school. Only worse, being young and not understanding the nature of people who apparently didn't grow up just because they got older. Chad noticed ladies in their fifties whispering and pointing at him.

Way to outgrow high school, ladies
, he thought sarcastically.

Maybe the mall hadn't been a good idea. Eyes burned his back, so he picked up his pace. His stomach was rumbling and he couldn't even remember the last time he ate. Chad headed for the courtyard. He ordered some burritos and sat down at a table in the corner.

People appeared to be more interested in their food than him at least. Just as he bit down, someone stopped next to the table. He groaned and looked up.

Lydia stood there, looking at him with a pitiful expression. "Mind if I sit?"

Chad swallowed his food. "I thought I made myself clear. We can't do this anymore."

"Can't we just have a seat at the same table? We're neighbors. No one is going to question anything. I've been so worried about you. The news—"

"Fine. Sit. I'm not going to be here long anyway."

She sat and ate from her own tray of food.

Chad noticed she had gotten a haircut, but he knew better than to say anything.

"You don't look so good, Chad. How are you holding up? The news—"

"I really don't want to talk about the news. It's a four letter word in our house these days." He tried to avoid her dark, beautiful eyes. He knew he was predisposed to pouring out his soul to her.

That had been what had gotten him into trouble in the first place. Alyssa was shutting him out, and Lydia was so eager to hear anything he had to say. Dean was almost never home and even when he was, he didn't pay attention to Lydia. It was a perfect setup.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

"My daughter."

"You don't think that girl they found—?"

"No!" He bit into his burrito. Coming to the mall definitely had been a bad decision.

"I'm sorry. I've really missed you. We always had the best—"

"Lydia," Chad hissed. He looked around to make sure no one was paying any attention to them.

"I was going to say we have the best talks." She rolled her eyes. "I could always tell you anything, and you never judged me. It went both ways."

"I'm talking to Alyssa now. You should try opening up to Dean. Rekindle whatever it was that attracted you two in the first place."

She shook her head. "I've tried. I'm certain that he's seeing someone else."

"Then dump his sorry butt. He doesn't know what he's missing. You deserve better, but I can't be the one to give you what you do deserve. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. You're smart, you're fun, and you're talented. There are a lot of guys out there who would be more than happy to give you what Dean won't."

Lydia tugged on a strand of thick, dark hair. "I can't move on."

"Dean would have to give you spousal support since you've been a housewife all this time. You wouldn't be out of money."

"That's not what I mean. Sure, the money is why I stay, but I meant I can't move onto another man when I'm still in love." Lydia stared into his eyes.

Chad returned the stared, but with wide eyes. She was
in love
with him? They'd had a good thing before he cut her off—and it hadn't been easy. But he never would have guessed she was in love.

She continued to stare at him with eagerness in her eyes.

If he said one word, Lydia would bring him back to her large, empty house in a heartbeat. Chad cleared his throat. "I should probably get back home. I just came here to uh…um, look for clues."

"Are you Scooby Doo now?"

"Tell Dean I said hi."

Lydia frowned. "I guess you're not the mood to joke around."

Chad narrowed his eyes. "No, actually I'm not." He looked around and lowered his voice. "I'm a family man. I made a
mistake
."

She looked like she had been slapped.

"And I'm sorry I hurt you. Really I am. Like I said, you deserve a lot better—than both Dean and me. Alyssa deserves better too and given our history and the fact that we have a family together, I'm doing whatever I can to be that for her now."

"That's exactly why I'm having such a hard time moving on. I wish Dean was the kind of man that you are."

"Maybe if you show him the kind of attention you gave me, he'll come around." He finished off the burrito, eager to get through the next one. Lydia didn't look like she was planning to leave the table anytime soon.

As he unwrapped the last burrito, he saw Sandra McMillan, another neighbor. She was headed their way.

Chad's heart sank. Would she tell Alyssa that she'd seen Chad eating with Lydia?

Sandra waved and sat down. Her big, blonde hair nearly took up the entire table. "All we need is a few more neighbors and we would have an impromptu HOA meeting." She laughed loudly.

Lydia gave a fake smile—Chad could see right through it. "Good one," Lydia said. "How are you, Sandra?"

"Pretty good. Just trying to figure out how to get the new family in 1612 to remove those hideous flamingos. Can you believe them?"

"They're awful," Lydia said, though it was obvious that Lydia couldn't have cared less.

Sandra turned to Chad, her makeup-heavy eyes wide. "And how are you doing, sweetie?" She continued on, not giving him a chance to answer. "I've been talking with some of the other neighbors about forming another search party, but I wanted to find out what you guys want. What with everything the news has been saying lately." She shook her head. "The whole thing is awful, just awful."

Chad shoved as much burrito into as mouth as he could. At least Sandra was oblivious to the tension between Lydia and Chad.

Not even stopping to take a breath, Sandra turned back to Lydia. "And how is Dean? I haven't seen him at a meeting in so long. Does he still travel for work? Where is he now, dear?"

"He's in Siberia at the moment. Then he'll be off to India, and then Germany before he comes home to have some dinner and leave again."

Sandra patted Lydia's hand. "You poor, poor thing. You must get so lonely." She shook her head. "It's just too bad you two can't have any kids. They would be the perfect distraction for you."

Lydia and Chad exchanged a look. How could Sandra be so dense? That was a topic that ripped Lydia's heart out, and even if it wasn't, that was such an insensitive thing to say.

Chad swallowed the last of his food and stood up. "It was nice running into you ladies, but I need to get back home to my family."

Telling

Zoey rolled over in bed. Her entire body ached and she just wanted to go back to sleep. Though she'd slept most of the day, she didn't feel like she had. Her mind raced, chasing sleep away.

Had they found anything out about that body? Her mom said that the chances weren't likely that it was Macy and not to worry about it. How would she know? No one knew anything.

Valerie was obviously worried about Zoey. She hadn't even made her go back to school since the body was found. She had also been on the phone with Zoey's dad every day. The night before, she'd wanted Zoey to talk with him, but Zoey refused. What was she supposed to say?

Her bedroom door opened and her mom came in. "Oh, good. You're awake. I just got off the phone with your dad, and he said as soon as he officially retires, he's coming here. He's been talking with the coach, explaining that he has a family crisis and that with his injury, he can't play anyway."

Zoey rolled her eyes. "So?"

"I want you to be prepared."

"He's the one who needs to be prepared," she muttered.

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

Zoey sat up. "That I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. Forget a piece—he's getting the whole thing. He's never been here for me, and I don't need him now."

"That's not entirely fair. It was an agreement that we had for him to stay there."

"So then you're equally at fault. But at least you've been here."

"He hasn't been completely absent. He's sent money all these years when he didn't have to."

"That's not being a father. He's a sperm donor and nothing more."

"Zoey! You'd better not talk to him like this when he gets here."

"Then you should tell him to stay in Japan, because I'm not holding back."

"He wants to be a part of your life."

"So all it took was me getting knocked up? Why didn't you tell me that sooner? I could have done that two and a half years ago."

Her mom sighed. "Obviously, he can't change the past, but he wants to make good on everything now."

"Sure. His career is over. If it was going strong, he wouldn't care about me, would he?"

"He's always cared. If he didn't—"

"Then he wouldn't have sent the money. Got it. It's too little, too late."

"Just give him a chance."

"Why?" Angry tears filled her eyes. "Why should I? Just because he supplied some DNA and sent some money? Now he feels guilty because I'm going to make him a grandparent. Except that he's not going to be a grandparent. You know why? Because he would have to be a dad first, and he's not! Unless he's gone and had kids with some other chick, guess what. He's not a dad. He's certainly not one to me."

Her mom sat on the bed. "I know you're having a hard time, and you have all those hormones making it worse, but please give him a chance. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me."

"If I
want
to be mad? I just want to be happy. Actually, no. You really want to know what I want?"

"What?"

"A cigarette."

Her mom's eyes widened, and her face turned pale. "What?" she whispered.

"That's right! I've been smoking, and that's the one thing I actually want. You wouldn't believe the havoc not having any has wrecked upon my body."

Her mom stared, not saying a word.

Zoey's eyebrows came together.
Good. Hit her where it really hurt.

"You've really been smoking?"

"Yeah. Want to make something of it?" Zoey squeezed her covers.

"Even after your uncle died of cancer?"

"Yes. And I know how you feel about smoking, but I did it anyway. Turns out I'm pretty good at keeping secrets too. Wonder where I got it from?" Zoey narrowed her eyes.

Valerie got up without a word and left the room.

Zoey felt a little bad, but her mom had it had it coming.

She picked up her phone to check for texts. Alex hadn't sent her anything. She sent him a text asking if he was awake. Then she remembered that his parents had taken all of his stuff away after he'd posted Macy's diary entries.

When would he get those back? It was like living in the days before electricity. How did anyone survive before laptops and cell phones? Kids must have sneaked out way more back in those days. It was totally barbaric.

Her phone buzzed, startling her. She had a text from Alex:
He's still grounded, but hopefully will have his stuff back today. You're more than welcome to come over.

Zoey smiled.
Thanks, Alyssa.
At least someone had a mom who got it.

She put her phone away. Going to the Mercer's house sounded like a good idea. It would be a lot better than hanging out with her mom. Especially after Zoey told her about the cigarettes.

She got into the shower and then went downstairs to find something to eat that wouldn't make her stomach turn. Wasn't pregnancy supposed to make people eat and eat? She had already lost ten pounds because everything sounded gross. Even her favorite foods had been making her gag at the thought of eating them.

As she looked through the pantry and the fridge, nothing looked good. She would probably lose more weight, because she wasn't going to eat anything that made her gag.

Zoey went to the door and put on a pair of shoes.

"Where do you think you're going?"

She looked up to see her mom standing at the end of the hall, hands on her hips.

"Over to the Mercers."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." Zoey stared at her, daring Valerie to try to stop her.