Heir of Pendel (A Pandoran Novel, #4) (67 page)

"A direct attack will not work," Tran said—again—to a very stubborn Nord, named Falk, who'd spilled little droplets of ale all over his beard. Every time he talked, I kept waiting for those droplets to finally drop to the floor. "There are simply too many of them. We need to upset their equilibrium first."

"But what Alexander suggests will take too long," Falk said. "It'll give them time to concentrate their attack against us."

"That's exactly what we want, Falk," Alex said evenly, calmly, despite the frustration I felt bubbling inside of him. "We
want
to concentrate their attack at the main gate. That will give us time to tear down the eastern corner. And, as Lady Bellona mentioned earlier, the shadowguard operate as a hive—at least Eris's fabrications, and we know most of his current shadowguard are comprised of those fabrications. Getting to Eris is our main goal. Besides, the shadowguard won't be able to function without his direction, and once he is out of the picture, overtaking them will be easy. Sometimes the longest way around is really the shortest way there."

Falk folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, clearly annoyed. I also saw a drop of ale fling off his beard and onto his sleeve. "There are too many variables with this.
If
Lady Bellona can hold off the shadowguard arrows, and
if
the shadowguard come through the front gate, and
if
Tran can tear down the eastern corner, and
if
you can get to Eris in time…"

Thad leaned back in his chair and rolled his eyes so far his head rolled a little with them.

"I
will
hold off their arrows." Mercedes' gaze simmered on Falk.

"That's beside the point," Alex said to Falk. "There will always be
ifs
. If I'd listened to ifs, I never would've come to Alioth in the first place. And here we are." He threaded his fingers together, set them on the table, and leaned over them. "No one is suggesting everything will go according to plan. That is why it is called a
plan
. However we're forced to adjust, our objective remains getting to Eris. If our first line of attack fails, we'll draw back and give Daria time with Nexus, as we discussed earlier."

"So tell me why, again, the princess and her dragon can't just hose the castle in flames?" a Nord asked. "Seems to me like the quickest way to get Eris."

"Yes, but that fire could also damage the shield, and if the shield is damaged, it could damage our world. Remember, the two are tied."

"The other territories have been notified, yes?" Mercedes asked. "To get the people near the portals, just in case?"

Alex nodded. "I sent word while I was in Astor, though there's not much I can do about the people of Valdon. You let your people know before you left, correct?"

Mercedes nodded. "They're assembling right outside of Mosaque, just in case."

"Why not send the preen-ciss ahead to scout?" Catia asked, looking at me then Alex. "Thet way she could tell us exactly where Eris's army is stationed and what 'e 'as. I know thet Arioch 'as told thee wizard, but 'e can't see everything from thee Aegis Quarters. An arial view woot be best."

"She's right," a Nordic woman, named Egret, added. "How do we know Arioch hasn't missed something? Wouldn't it be better if Princess Daria flew over to take inventory?"

"Yeah, because Eris won't notice a two-ton dragon doing a perimeter check around the castle." Thad's voice almost rolled, too. Vera sat beside him, looking quite proud.

Egret's eyes narrowed. "Princess Daria could be careful."

"Princess Daria is always careful." Vera narrowed eyes on Egret. "She's not invisible."

Egret bristled and was about to retort, but I spoke up first.

"Egret," I said politely, though I shared in Alex's growing irritation. "Even if we could somehow evade my uncle's radar, who's to say his position wouldn't change by the time we get there? We aren't even leaving for a few days. It's much better—and safer—to have Tran speak with Arioch as they've been doing. And, as Alexander mentioned earlier, we'll be sending a few scouting parties ahead of us. Perhaps you'd like to be part of one so that you can ensure nothing gets missed."

A few sparks of amusement flickered around the room. Thaddeus beamed at me as if he'd give me a high-five if I were sitting close enough. Even Vera smiled. Alex squeezed my thigh beneath the table, an imperceptible grin at his mouth.

Egret, however, did not see the humor. Actually, she might be a worthy opponent for Vera in a contest of who had the deadliest glares.

"We can't afford to have Princess Daria and her dragon seen," Alex said in a very matter-of-fact tone. "As far as we can tell, Eris doesn't know about them yet, which makes them our largest advantage in this war."

"Pun absolutely intended," Thad remarked.

Alex frowned and looked sideways at him as if to ask, 'Really…?'

"I agree in that Nexus needs to be a surprise," Mercedes added. "Far too much hinges on the princess and her dragon, since we're using them to upset Eris's balance."

There were a few nods of agreement, none of which came from Egret. Actually, she kind of looked like she wanted to hit me.

"What about thee Daloren?" The question had come from another one of Mercedes' guards. Everyone turned toward Fleck, who currently looked as if he wanted to hide. "Can 'e See anything that could 'elp us?"

I grabbed Fleck's little hand beneath the table and looked him straight in his flecked eyes. "You don't have to answer that," I whispered.

"It's okay, lady. I want to help," he whispered back, then sat up in his chair, his face bright red as he addressed the table. "I can't…See anything. I try to, but it's like…it's like the world isn't there anymore. I get these little flickers of light and then…everything just goes dark."

The table fell quiet. Little pricks of curiosity tickled me from all sides, but there was one swell of concern that stood out from the rest. It had come from Tran, who conveniently studied the grains of wood on the table.

"Can you See if Eris has the unity stone?" Mercedes asked.

Fleck bit his bottom lip. "I don't think he does…it's hard to know, though, because…sometimes the Sight doesn't let me See what I ask it to show me."

"Maybee you neet to try again," Catia suggested. "You're new to the Keep, no?" She said Keep like Kip. "I theenk it takes some of them years to control their Sight."

"Yes, but…" Fleck started as more and more similar comments pummeled him from all sides. Everyone demanded he try again, that he must be missing something, that we needed his information. It was when Falk barked, "What a pathetic excuse for a Daloren," that I decided to say something.

"Whatever abilities Fleck may or may not have are not yours by right." I looked straight at Falk, then addressed the crowd. "His gifts don't belong to any of us. He's helping us as best he can, and whatever he's able to share, we should consider ourselves fortunate, not deserving."

"Is that what you tell yourself so that you don't have to take responsibility for being too cowardly to fight in the front lines with the rest of us?" Falk glowered at me.

The table fell silent.

Alex tensed in his chair and I knew he was about to put Falk in his place, but I squeezed Alex's leg beneath the table to let him know I'd handle this.

"Falk, is it?" I said.

Falk sat smugly, still glaring.

"I don't know you, and you don't know me. But they say it takes only one-tenth of a second to make a first impression, and so far you've spent the past few
hours
trying to derail every single idea we've come up with, which leads me to believe that you're just a cynical person. We don't have room for cynicism, Falk. The castle is taken and we are outnumbered. We already know our chances are slim, and we're running out of time. If and when my uncle gets that unity stone in his hands, we're all doomed.

"So what we need are ideas, and if those ideas don't work, we need
more
ideas, not an argument. We need you to help us figure out how this
can
work instead of telling us why it can't. And I am not shirking my
responsibility
. When
you
are charged with the responsibility of being the sole defense against each and every gargon in Eris's possession, and doing this while maneuvering a few thousand feet in frigid air with only saddle straps to hold you in place, then, perhaps, you can talk to me about what it means to be a coward."

At some point during my monologue, Falk's eyes hardened and his fists clenched on the table. Alex's pride burned like a bonfire beside me, and Thad leaned back in his chair with his feet crossed on the table. Vera glared daggers at Falk, daring him to do something.

I thought Falk was going to leave. I expected him to curse at me and storm out of the room, but he just sat there, glaring at me, and when he sat back in his chair, he looked a little smaller. That was the last of his outbursts, and the negativity.

By the end of it, Alex decided we'd leave in two days' time. Everyone agreed. Many of our men still needed time to heal from our battle with Campagna—Alex included—and Mercedes' men (and women) could use the rest after traveling from Gesh. And, she added, they had a few injured as well. In the meantime, we'd gather together our resources and construct more long-range weapons, like catapults, bows and arrows, slings, and javelins, and refine the weaponry and armor already in our possession. Alex directed who was to oversee the various projects, and then we all split and got to work.

The room mostly cleared out, except for Alex, Tran, Fleck and me. Fleck was still sitting in his chair, staring down at the floor. Alex met my gaze, understanding my intent.

"Meet you there in a minute?" I said so only he could hear me.

"Of course." He placed a hand on my waist, holding me before him. His eyes shone with tenderness and pride. "You know…all along you've hated being a princess, but you're so bloody good at it." He smiled, and I smiled back. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, stroking it once, and then he left. Tran winked at me, then followed after Alex.

I walked over to Fleck, crouched before him and grabbed his little hand between both of mine. "Don't let them get you upset. You don't owe anyone any answers. This is not your war."

He kicked his feet that didn't quite touch the floor. "I just…wish I could help."

"Just because you can't predict the future doesn't mean you're not helping."

His lips pursed. "What if…what if that
is
the future, lady? What if…I can't See Gaia, because Gaia won't exist? And what if…I knew and I failed everyone because I didn't know how to stop it?"

I just looked at him for a long moment, and then I said, "What if?"

He glanced up at me, confused.

"No matter what the future holds, the fact remains it's the future that's still holding it. There's nothing we can do or say to change it except worry, and I don't want to live every day of my life worrying over things I can't change. I want to live in the moment. I want to live
now
, and be grateful for the time I have with the people I love most." I brushed the short hair back from his forehead. "Don't let their worry become your responsibility. We all do what we can in the way we think best. Sometimes that way puts unreasonable expectations on others. But don't ever let them make you feel less than you are."

The little flecks in his eyes shimmered as he looked at me. "You've learned a few things, lady."

I grinned. "I certainly hope so. Now." I squeezed his hand. "Want to help me and Alex build a catapult?"

He smiled so big I laughed, and I stood, tugging him off his chair. His gaze moved past me and settled on the door, and then that gaze went wide.

I peered over my shoulder to see Danton standing in the threshold. It was as if there were some great gulf between us, and I felt every inch of that space.

"I was…hoping to speak to you?" His tone was formal, respectful, but it still couldn't hide the ache I felt pulsing inside of him.

Before I could say one word, Fleck said, "I'll go ahead, lady." He hurried off past Danton and through the door.

Fleck was a child in appearance only.

I glanced back at Danton, who was watching me, and I took in his sheathed swords and large cloak.

I stood up and turned to face him. "You're…leaving…?" I whispered.

His pale eyes moved over my face, and he stepped into the room. A board creaked beneath his weight. "I am," he said quietly, taking another step toward me. "Carter and I are returning to Orindor."

I almost asked why, but I knew. I hated that I knew. "Danton, you can't leave now! We need you!"

We
wasn't at all what he'd wanted to hear, though I was sure he hadn't expected me to say anything different.

"
Orindor
needs me," he replied. "My people have no one. My father hasn't at all prepared them for what could happen if Eris gets a hold of that stone, and I need to be there to help them get to safety until all of this is over."

"You need to be here helping us! You can't run away now!"

He took another step, his eyes never leaving mine. "I am
not
running away, Daria. Gesh is here. If they hadn't come, I'd stay, but…" He exhaled slowly. He held back so much. I knew because I could feel it all churning inside of him. "I can make a difference in Orindor, and I have time to warn them before it's too late. I have time to get them to the portal just in case." He took another step. He was only a few yards from me now. "I wrote to my mother last night, through a small bindingbook we share, and she's agreed to help Carter and me." He paused before me, his eyes bluer than the sky. "Daria…I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago and be the man you reminded me I could be."

We stared at each other a very long moment and my heart squeezed a little. Because he was leaving. Because I didn't have the right to want him to stay. Because even despite my newest revelations about his past, I still felt guilty that I couldn't give back what he so obviously wanted to give me. I wanted to say something, but there was nothing to be said. I couldn't say what I didn't feel, and he wouldn't ask for what I couldn't give. But it still made me feel like a horrible person.