Heaven Sent (15 page)

me through this. I can’t argue with that

because I’m not coping well. I’m an

emotional wreck, and I don’t know how

to heal from all of this. I know it takes

time, but I don’t even know how to

begin.

“Hey Aiden.” I enter in the middle

of him telling Holden about a counselor

he has in mind.

“Hi Ivy, baby. We’re gonna keep

you safe from that asshole. That, I can

promise ya. I can’t believe he contacted

you again.” I lean into his chest and

greet him.

“I love you girl! Take care of

you!” Eaven wraps me up for one last

hug and both girls leave us.

Our

flight

out

isn’t

until

tomorrow. The guys make arrangements

for us to stay in a hotel for the night. I

work hard to keep it together when

Holden is around. Aiden doesn’t give

anything away when I wrap my arms

around his waist. He puts an arm on my

shoulder and pulls me in tight. I wait

until Holden steps off the bus to get our

transportation before I lose it.

I fall apart like the mess my life

is. Aiden stands tall and holds my body

up. “Ivy, what are you doing? Why are

you hugging on me like this?”

“I told Taron that I’m in love with

you so he would let me leave. He would

never have let me go with you if I didn’t

say that to him.”

“Why are you pushing him away?”

“Because he’ll walk away from

tour for me. He’ll ruin everything

they’ve built, and I can’t let him do that.

Maybe we can be together one day if I

get my life together, but not now.”

“I refuse to drag him down and

right now I’m totally depending on him

for everything. I need to break away and

get things situated.”

“I understand and we’ll figure it

out.”

“Just go along with this when

Holden is around until I figure something

else out.”

He nods and pulls me in for anther

hug. “Ivy, you have been through so

much the past few weeks, of course I’m

here for you.” I haven’t needed this

many hugs in my entire life.

My heart is broken that I had to say

those things to Taron. The last thing I

ever want to do is hurt him, but I know

how he is. He won’t let me go if I don’t

break him apart with words that pierce

through the both of us.

Holden arranges a separate cab for

us so he could go ahead of us to prepare

the hotel. We get to the hotel and I see

that Holden has taken his responsibility

very seriously. He meets me at the cab

to escort me in and we travel to our

room in the most direct path possible.

This guy is thorough. He opens the door

to our room and begins searching the

closets and bathroom. I stop him as he

drops to the floor to look under the bed.

“Holden, what the hell! Calm

down. No one is in here.” My face has

to tell him that I think he’s crazy.

“Don’t you dare down-play this,

Ivy. That guy is a crazy mother-fucker

and I won’t take any chances, so get used

to this until he’s found.”

There’s a knock at the door and

Holden moves quickly to see who it is,

even though I know it’s Aiden. Holden

is wound so damn tight.

“We leave for the airport first

thing in the morning, so you need to be

ready early. We can’t miss the flight. I

have security on the other end to get you

to the cabin. He’s obviously obsessed

with you and we aren’t leaving any

possible way for him to get to you.”

I smile at Holden’s serious nature

and walk up to him. He’s the same

height as Taron, but a little bigger built.

There are so many similarities between

Holden and the twins. I lean in to him

and

silently

say

thank

you

for

everything. My heart is still breaking

and I can’t seem to form the words to tell

him how much I appreciate him

following me half-way across the

country because his brother loves me

enough to keep me safe. There just

aren’t any words to say that can come

close to compare to my appreciation.

I take the bed farthest from the

door and slide under the sheet. I know

this is awkward for Aiden, but he’ll

have to sleep in bed next to me. I face

the wall and wait for one of them to do

or say something. I wait for a long time,

but fall asleep before he climbs into

bed.

I wake sometime in the night and

startle myself when I don’t realize where

I am. My abrupt movement has Holden

out of the other bed instantly. I glance

down at Aiden who is on top of the

blanket as far away from my side of the

bed as possible. I don’t miss Holden’s

face questioning me, but I begin to get

nauseous again so I run to the bathroom.

I can’t stand this feeling. I feel

like my insides are twisting and turning

and I can’t seem to get relief. The stress

that Dylan is putting on my life and now

leaving Taron, is tearing me apart. I

lose it again, but there is hardly anything

left for me to throw up anymore.

I hear a tap on the door and see

Holden peek in. “Do you need

anything?”

“I hate this. I can’t stand this

feeling.” I say through sobbing tears

when I officially fall to pieces. I’m

pretty sure hugging the toilet, while lying

on a strange floor, as I run from a psycho

stalker, and walk away from the man I

love, is the all time low of my life. I

can’t even get it together at this point to

tell him that I need something or that I’m

fine, because I’m not ok. The problem is

that there is nothing Holden can do to

help me.

My lack of movement has him

kneeling next to me in seconds. “Just let

it out. I’m sorry you have to deal with

this psycho. I promise we’ll keep you

safe.”

He has no idea that’s only half of

what has my guts twisting.

He lifts me up from the floor and

moves me to the sink. I use the washrag

that he hands me to clean my face. I look

in the mirror and see a disgusting ghost

of a woman looking back at me. I look

like complete shit. My face is healing,

but I have no coloring, and the nauseated

feeling hits again when I notice my

medusa hair.

“Should we take you to the

doctor?”

“No, it’ll pass. I just need a

minute.”

“Ok, but you need something to

help calm you. This is a lot of stress on

a

person. When we get settled, I’m

going to have someone come to the cabin

to check you out.”

“Ok.” I don’t argue because if

someone can make me feel better, then

I’m all for it.

Taron

She’s gone. Holden sent me a text

that they checked into the hotel. We are

staying the night in the city again tonight.

I manage to make it through the

concert. The concert goes as well as it

could with me being pissed off at the

world. I finish the show and step over

the panties that were thrown on stage. I

don’t give a fuck about picking up a girl

tonight. My life is full dealing with the

one I have, or should I say don’t have

anymore.

I grab a cab with only one place in

mind. “Grand Hotel, fifty-sixth and

Jackson.” I struggle the entire drive to

her hotel. I can’t believe she’s with

him. My mind won’t accept it, so I need

to see it for myself. I need to see that her

eyes don’t want to eat me alive. I need

to see her look at him like she does me.

I just can’t believe that she is this much

of a bitch.

I hand the cab driver the money

and enter the lobby. I hit the elevator to

the forth floor since Holden told me

what room they are in. I walk until I

come face to face with room #422. I

freeze mid knock and stop myself from

barging in and throwing her over my

shoulder to take her back.

I could never love you and I don’t

trust you to be faithful. I know that I’m

just another piece of ass to you.

Her words hit just as hard played

back on replay as they did in real time. I

slide down the wall until I land on my

ass. I deserve this. My fucked up past is

the reason she won’t trust me and how

can I blame her? I didn’t want a

relationship then. Life was much

simpler then. I sure as hell never went

to find a girl, let alone chase her down to

make her prove she loves me more than

a fucking cowboy.

What the hell is wrong with me? I

bury my head in my hands and settle in

for the night.

I wake up to the sound of a food

cart rolling in my direction. I

contemplate banging on the door, but

decide to leave. The walk away from

that door pulls in spots I don’t like being

fucked with. I need to get away from

here. Maybe I need a distraction to get

my mind off of Ivy. I pull out my phone

to dial Emily, she’s always up for a hook

up. There’s no answer, but she’ll see

that I called. It’s a guarantee that I’ll

hear from her today.

~Thirteen~

Ivy

The plane ride is miserable. I’m

over this feeling like crap. I tell Holden

to get the doctor lined up quickly.

We land in Missouri and our drive

is just as crappy. I need out of moving

v e hi c l e s . Neither Aiden or Holden

know what to do with me. I can tell that

they’re both worried, but I can’t get

control of the nausea. Just when I think

that I’m better, it hits again.

“I found a doctor who will make a

stop at the cabin tonight. She’s a friend

of my family’s and will take care of

you.” At least I have hope that I can

possibly get some relief soon and feel

better.

We get to the cabin after the

longest drive of my life. This place is so

far out of the way that there’s no way

anyone will find us here. I feel safe

instantly and look forward to resting in a

secure and stable place for a change.

Aiden moves all of our things into

the same room. I don’t even attempt to

help. I don’t feel like I have the strength

and if I tried they would both flip out on

me anyway. I hit the shower right away

and begin to feel some relief. I hurry

thr o ugh the process of washing to

shorten the memories of Taron running

through my mind.

I keep reminding myself that I have

to do this. I have to walk away from him

or I’ll drag him down with me.

The doctor arrives shortly after we

do. The boys give us privacy and I

begin to tell her everything that I’m going

through. She decides to give me anxiety

medicine to help calm my nerves. She

suggests a local counselor to help me

work through the emotions of the attack

and stalker issues that Dylan has caused.

I feel like things are going to actually be

ok for the first time in weeks.

“I’m going to run blood work to

see if anything else is going on with

you.”

She

begins to write the

prescription for my anxiety medicine

when she pauses to look up at me. “Is

there any possibility that you can be

pregnant?”

Her question shocks me and I

instantly reply, “No way possible.”

“Ok, because this medication can’t

be taken by anyone who is pregnant or

nursing. I’ll be running your blood work

soon to test for it anyway, but thought I’d

ask before I prescribe this.”

I sit there looking at her in

complete disbelief. There is no way that

I’m pregnant. Life can’t be that cruel.

My thoughts travel back to my first night

with Taron.

“There’s a slight chance that I can

be.” I’m twisting inside thinking about