Heaven Cent (23 page)

“The fee do not cheat,” Fulsome said.

“How could anyone cheat?” Nada asked. “Everyone will be watching.”

“The form changer could become a bird and fly away alone,” Fulsome said. “The skeletons could find a gourd and escape.”

That did not make much sense to Nada. But Marrow shrugged. “Let her choose, then.”

Thus abruptly Nada found the weight on her own coils. “Don the hood while we mix,” Fulsome said, putting a thick velvet hood over her head.

In a moment the hood came off. Nada looked—and blinked.

All of the folk in the glade looked just like her companions. There were about ten Marrows and twice as many Grace’ls and another ten Dolphs. There were even several Nadas, for good measure. She could not tell which were true and which were false by appearance; the likenesses were perfect.

She could talk but not touch, until she chose. So she would not touch any until she was absolutely sure. She had three tries; if all were correct, then all her companions were free. But her first mistake would be her last, for she herself would be captive, along with whoever she had not yet freed.

Nada was glad she did not have hands, in her natural form, for hands had an unpleasant tendency to sweat cold and be clammy. How could she be sure of the others?

She slithered up to the nearest Dolph figure. “Who are you?” she asked.

“I am your fiancé”, Prince Dolph,“ he replied. ”Touch me and save me."

She considered that. Fiancé"? Dolph had never used that term. He was her betrothed. This was one of the fee!

She approached a Marrow. She really did not know him well, so planned to guess him last. That way she might save the other two before risking herself, and if Prince Dolph and Grace’l were saved, that was certainly better than nothing. So this was just a preliminary testing; even if she thought she was sure of him, she would not touch him yet.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I am Marrow of the gourd,” he replied promptly.

“What is your last name?”

“I have none.”

“Too bad,” she said. “If you were real, you would know that your name is Marrow Bones.”

“Oh, no!” a Dolph figure cried. “You gave it away!”

Nada was stricken. She had done just that! Now every one of the fee knew, and she would be unable to identify Marrow by his knowledge.

But maybe she could recover something from this blunder. She slithered over to the Dolph who had spoken. “Are you the real Dolph?”

“Of course I am!”

“Then you must know Grace’l’s full name.”

“Grace’l Ossein,” he replied—then clapped his hands to his own mouth, stricken. “I did it myself! Now you'll never pick her out, either!”

Nada was appalled. It was her error too; she should have know better than to ask the question of anyone but Grace’l herself. Now she was in trouble with two selections!

But at least she was sure of Dolph. He knew both Marrow and Grace’l better than she did. She could select him, then ask his advice on the others, and recover them all. She brought her tail around, to touch him with the tip—

“Don't do it!” another Dolph figure cried. “I gave her full name when I introduced us at the beginning! He's a fake!”

Nada froze. Was that true? If so, she had just missed making a terrible mistake!

“I did not!” the Dolph in front of her said. “I said 'Grace'l of the gourd.' Don't you remember, Nada?”

Nada tried to remember, but now could not be sure. That meant that she could not be sure of this Dolph. She turned away.

But the Dolph pursued her. “Don't let them fool you, Nada!” he urged. “I know I can prove myself to you!”

“If you do, she's lost!” the other Dolph retorted. “You had your chance, faker.”

Nada hesitated. Suppose this first one was the right one, after all? How could she risk passing him by?

“Nada, listen to me!” the nearest Dolph said. “I can tell you what questions to ask! If you don't like them, don't ask them, but don't pass me by!”

“Sure, he wants to fool you,” the other Dolph said, and there was a murmur of agreement from the remaining Dolphs. “If you listen, you'll get so confused you won't be able to recognize the right one when you come to him!”

“That's a lie!” the nearest Dolph said. “You're the fakes!”

“Why don't we let her decide that?” the other inquired sensibly.

“Because she might pick wrong! She's younger than I am, and I'm just a child.”

Just a child. Nada fixed on that. Of the two Dolphs, the more distant one seemed more mature—but the real one was a child, given to things like stuffing himself on cake when he got the chance. He believed she was younger man he, and in that he was mistaken—but this was also evidence of his validity. Meanwhile, that murmur of agreement from the other Dolphs rang false; they could not all be real Dolphs objecting to her deception by a false one. It was more likely the other way around.

“What questions?” she asked the closest Dolph.

He grinned. “Like what happened first time we kissed?''

Excellent suggestion! She turned to the distant Dolph. “What happened the first time we kissed?”

“It was great!” that one replied. “You're a very pretty naga.”

She turned to another distant Dolph. “What happened?”

“It's a trick question,” he replied. “We are too young; we never kissed.”

“Anybody else?” she asked, sweeping her gaze across the remaining Dolphs.

There was a chorus of answers, all different. “It made a loud smack!”

“You blushed!”

“I blushed!”

“Your mother caught us!”

“Our noses bumped!”

“It was a forehead kiss.”

Nada oriented on the one who had mentioned noses. “You!” she cried.

That Dolph stepped forward. “Yes, I am the real one,” he agreed. “How clever of you to ask that question.”

Nada looked at the nearest Dolph. “But you suggested it!”

“I've got more,” he replied. "What did your mother say when we bumped noses?''

“My mother?” she asked sharply.

“Ask him,” he said, giving her a straight look.

She turned to the other Dolph. “What did my mother say?”

“I already answered one,” that Dolph said. “Make him answer!”

She looked at the nearest one. “Well?”

“She wasn't there. I never saw your mother. But your father said—” He screwed up his features in thought. “He said to tilt your head, stupid, because—”

He never finished, because Nada slithered up to him, lifted her head, and kissed him. She had never been so pleased to be called stupid in her life!

“Gee, that's fun, stupid!” Dolph said.

She bit him gently on the ear. “That's enough of that! You proved your identity. Now help me pick the others.”

“Hey, no fair getting help!” one of the Marrows protested.

“Of course it's fair,” another Marrow said. “There's nothing in the contest that says she can't.”

“Yes there is!” the first said hotly. “She has to pick, not the boy.”

“Well, then,” said the second Marrow. “Let's take a vote on the rules. All in favor of letting the Prince help her, raise their hands.” He raised his own hand.

Only one other joined him, one of the Grace’l’s.

“All opposed?” he asked, somewhat hollowly.

All the remaining hands went up.

“Guess which two are real,” Dolph murmured.

Of course! “You two!” Nada called. “Come here!”

But now the fee realized their error. They crowded in, so that by the time the two real ones arrived, they were surrounded by all the fake ones. The fake Dolphs had disappeared, replaced by Marrows and Grace'ls. Nada could not tell any of them apart.

Now she was bound not to use Dolph's help. But at least she had saved him. She turned to him. “If I guess wrong, will you tell your folks I tried? My people still need—”

“I will go and help them myself,” Dolph promised. “But I don't want you to guess wrong, Nada! You're the neatest girl I ever knew!”

“I'm the only girl you ever knew,” she retorted. “Aside from your big sister.”

“Yuck!” he exclaimed. “I hate all fourteen year olds! Don't ever get that old!”

She smiled, but mere was a pang inside her. If he ever found out—but of course she could never tell him. At least that reminded her of her session with Grace’l. She knew she could identify the female skeleton—but she might have to betray a confidence to do so.

Maybe she could avoid that, though. “All you Grace'ls,” she called. “How did we cross the water? You first.” She pointed to one.

“We found a boat.”

“You,” she said to the second.

“We were carried across by a big bird.”

“You.”

“I became a sail.”

Nada oriented on that one. “What did Marrow become?”

“The rest of the boat.”

Naga nodded. She slithered up to touch that one.

“Don't!” another Grace’l cried. “It was a lucky guess! Out of all those answers, one was bound to be right.”

They had tried that when she was about to touch the true Dolph. Making it seem that he had guessed. Trying to confuse the issue. This time Naga was not fooled. She brought her tail around.

“Last night!” the more distant Grace’l cried. “Tell!”

That made Nada pause. How could a fake Grace’l know about that? She had to check.

“Why did you leave the gourd?” she asked the closest one.

“I stepped out by accident, and couldn't get back.”

Nada saw Dolph nod, accepting that answer. But Dolph did not know the truth. “You,” she said, pointing to the other Grace’l.

“I—I was exiled,” the other said. “Because I ruined a troll's dream. I can never go back.”

“That eliminates her,” Dolph said.

Nada slithered up to the true Grace’l and touched her.

“Don't,” Dolph cried, too late.

“I am the real one,” Grace'l said. “I did not tell you the truth, before.”

One of the Marrows gave a start. Nada turned on him. “You! Why do you react?”

“I thought she wanted to return to the gourd,” that Marrow said.

“We all thought that!” another Marrow said.

“How do you feel about it?” Nada asked. “You.” She pointed to one of the other Marrows, not the one who had jumped.

“I'm glad she can't return to the gourd,” he replied. “Now I can marry her.”

“You.” She pointed to another wrong Marrow.

“The same.”

They were getting smarter, learning from their errors.

“You.” This time she pointed to the right one.

He looked at Grace’l. “The same.”

Oops! The answer had been too good! But she could refine it. “Exactly how do you make offspring? You.” She pointed to the first Marrow she had asked.

“The Adult Conspiracy prevents me from answering, because you are too young to know.”

Ooops, again. Sure enough, the others gave the same answer. Should she reveal her own true age, so as to be eligible for the answer? She glanced at Dolph, and knew she couldn't.

But she wasn't done yet. Only Marrow knew of life in the gourd. “Who is in charge of me making of bad dreams?” she asked the first wrong Marrow.

“No one. They're just there, and the night mares pick them up and carry them out.”

“You?” she asked the second.

“The same.”

“You?” she asked of the true one—though her certainty about him was diminishing. After all. the one she had believed was Grace’l had been wrong.

“The Night Stallion. He is in charge of the mares, and he directs the dreams, which have to be crafted fresh each day for the following night. All of the rest of us are mere actors, poor players, who strut and fret our hour upon die stage and then are heard no more. We—”

“Enough!” This was obviously the correct one. but Nada had one more question of him. “Can you forgive a creature who sabotaged a truly bad dream?”

“That would be difficult—” he began.

Grace’l bowed her skull. “I understand.”

“—but I am sure she had good reason, and I think that once I understood that reason, I could manage it," Marrow concluded.

Nada slithered up to him and touched him with her tail. “I hope so,” she said. “I think you have things to discuss with her.”

“I believe so,” Marrow said. “Thank you for rescuing us.”

“I rescued myself too!” Naga reminded him. “Had I guessed wrong, I would have had to remain with the fee who tricked me.”

“Where are they?” Dolph asked.

Nada looked around. All the fee were gone.

“At least they kept their word,” Marrow said. “Let us depart this region promptly.”

Nada was happy to agree. They headed south at a remarkably swift clip. They had all had quite enough of the Gold Coast!

At the foot of Xanth were several small isles and one big one; Centaur Isle. All were guarded by centaurs, who made it plain that they did not want intruders in these parts.

“Chex said that the centaurs of this region were like that,” Marrow said. “It is probably no use trying to reason with them.”

“But suppose the Heaven Cent is here?” Dolph asked plaintively. “We have to check these isles!”

“We shall simply have to find another way,” Marrow said. “Perhaps if we all think hard, we shall come up with an idea.”

They thought hard, but no idea manifested. The problem was simply too much for them.

“Maybe if we thought about some other way to find an idea,” Grace’l suggested.

They thought about that. Suddenly Dolph brightened. “Maybe I should change form and look for an idea!”

No one had any better notion. Dolph became a sharp-eyed hawk and flew into the forest, looking for an idea.

In the thickest part he spotted some vines with eyeballs intertwined. The eyes looked back at him. Dolph paused. Those were Eye Queue vines!

He caught a vine with his beak and pulled it free. Trailing it, he flew swiftly back to his companions.

“Eye Queue!” Marrow exclaimed. “That will almost certainly help! It can make a creature much more intelligent.” He lifted the vine carefully from Dolph's beak.

Dolph reverted to boy form. "That's what I thought. One of us can use this to become smart and get our idea.

“But which one?” Dolph asked. He had fetched the vine, but he wasn't sure he wanted to use it.

“I am not certain how it would affect a skeleton,” Marrow said. “Our skulls are hollow, and might simply become hollower. Our ideas might prove to be loud but empty.”

“I will use it, if you wish,” Nada said.

“But you're a girl!” Dolph protested.

“I'll never be as smart as you, Prince Dolph, no matter what,” she said, smiling at him.

“Oh.” Dolph was too flattered to pursue the matter further. Nada was way-much different from Ivy, who got so smart nobody could stand her. That was why he liked Nada so much. She was the right age and the right attitude, and she was fun to kiss. He had never properly appreciated either girls or kisses before he had encountered her. He looked forward to appreciating more with her, at such time as he figured out what it might be.

Marrow set the Eye Queue vine on Nada's head. Immediately it writhed, and sank in, the eyes disappearing. Her own eyes seemed to grow and brighten, and her head to swell a bit. “Oh, I never thought of it that way!” she exclaimed.

“You have an idea?” Dolph asked eagerly.

She gazed at him. The lids lowered across her eyes, and an obscure smile played about her mouth. “Perhaps. But I fear not relevant to the present issue.”

“But maybe it is! What is it?”

“I believe I have just figured out how to summon die stork."

“Oh, tell me!” he begged.

“But I have also figured out why that knowledge is forbidden to children.”

“Why?” Dolph asked, frustrated.

“It is a matter of innocence. Children stop being nice when they lose their innocence, so the adults protect them from corrupting knowledge. It may be the one decent thing adults do.”

“Corrupt me!” Dolph pleaded. “I want to know!”

But she shook her had. “Not till you—till we are adult. Then we shall have been corrupted by experience, and it won't make much difference. I am too smart, now, to spoil an untainted innocence that can never be restored. It would be like treading on the sweetest, prettiest flowers.”

“Oh—” Dolph searched for the worst word he knew, to express his contempt of innocence, but none were bad enough. He had to settle on the one she had used, when they had first met. “Oh, mice! I hate innocence!”

“Believe me, Dolph, it is better than the alternative,” she said sadly. Grace’l nodded agreement.

“If I may interrupt,” Marrow said. “Have you an idea, Nada, how we may search Centaur Isle for the Heaven Cent?”

Nada pondered briefly. “Yes. We shall have to go to Mundania.”

“What?” the other three asked, aghast.

“The landscape of Mundania is the same as that of Xanth. But there is no magic there, and therefore no magical creatures. No centaurs on Centaur Isle. Thus we can explore the isle without hindrance, there.” She paused thoughtfully. “Of course, there is a small complication.”

“Yes,” Dolph said dryly. “How do we get there from here?”

She smiled at him. “Why how bright of you, Dolph!” she said condescendingly. Dolph realized that there were aspects to the Eye Queue enhancement that were less than delightful. “Actually, there are several ways to do it; our problem is to determine the most feasible one.”

“Wait. I don't understand!” Grace’l protested.

“Naturally not,” Nada said, sounding exactly like Ivy in her more assertive moments. This was a side of her Dolph had not seen before, and didn't like. But he reminded himself that it was the effect of the Eye Queue vine, which not only made people smart, it made them obnoxious. Perhaps smartness and obnoxiousness were much the same.

“I mean,” Grace’l persisted, “what's this about Mundania being the same as Xanth? I thought Xanth is where the magic is, and Mundania is where it isn't.”

“Exactly,” Nada said in that superior manner. “Remove the magic from Xanth, and you have Mundania. It is elementary.”

“But this is Xanth! Mundania can't be in the same place!”

“Certainly it can. Now if we can get on to productive discussion—”

“I can think of another complication,” Marrow said. “Those of us who are magical cannot exist in Mundania—at least, not in our present manner. We skeletons will lose our animation, and Dolph will lose his talent, and you, Nada, will revert to your mundane form. Do you happen to know what that might be?”

“I believe there are slightly more serpent genes in my lineage than human genes, so I would probably become a snake. But Dolph is the one looking for the Heaven Cent, so he is the one who needs his human form. He will have t ogo alone.”

“No!” Marrow said. “He must have an adult companion!”

Dolph had never particularly liked that requirement before, but the thought of going alone into Mundania appalled him, so he decided not to argue.

“That can be arranged,” Nada said. “In my human form I may appear to be a child, but—”

“I don't think—” Grace’l started.

“But snakes have briefer lives,” Nada continued. “So my snake form is adult. If Dolph takes me along in that form, he will have adult companionship.”

"I am not certain that is quite what is meant,” Marrow said doubtfully. But he did not push the case.

“But as to how to go to Mundania, let me enumerate the ways,” Nada said. “First, we could travel to the isthmus and cross into Mundania, then return to this site. But though we could travel well in Xanth by having Dolph carry us in roc form, we might have difficulty returning in Mundania. Second, we could sail out to the border of magic, which surely is not far offshore. But if we used the skeleton crew, we would be sunk when the magic went, and would have to swim back after losing Marrow and Grace’l.”

“I seem to have a problem with that,” Marrow said.

“Third, we could step through to Mundania right here, and return after checking Centaur Isle. But the mechanism may be awkward.”

“How can we step through here?” Dolph demanded. “The magic is here!”

“By using the gourd,” she said patiently. “The night mares carry bad dreams to the Mundanes as well as to Xanthians, so it stands to reason that they have direct access to Mundania as well as to Xanth; surely they would not waste time running all the way to the isthmus, crossing over, and running back to the geography they started from. They must go directly, and that is the route we must seek.”

“I never thought of that!” Marrow exclaimed.

“Obviously. It is my judgment that they must use gourds, as they do to return from Xanth to their own realm. These gourds would grow within the dream community, and represent portals to Mundania, and perhaps back. So we must go to this portion of Mundania by passing through double portals. It should be straightforward enough.”

“But ordinary folk can't enter the gourd,” Dolph said. “All we can do is look into it and be frozen in place until someone breaks the connection. Only the creatures of the gourd can go inside.”

“Not necessarily so,” Marrow said. “When I was with Chex and Esk and Volney Vole, we entered through a huge zombie gourd. The experience was not completely pleasant for any of us.”

“But I can not return to the gourd!” Grace’l protested. “I am exiled from there.”

“You can not go to Mundania, either,” Nada pointed out. “So your best option is to remain here.”

“I can guide you to a gourd within the gourd,” Marrow said to Dolph. “Then return to be with Grace’l.”

“Unfortunately, I will lose the enhancement of intelligence I have reaped from the Eye Queue, when I enter Mundania,” Nada said.

Dolph tried not to show his delight at this prospect. He liked Nada as an eight-year-old girl just fine, but not as a super-smart girl who acted like an adult.

They proceeded with it. Marrow led them to the place he remembered where the zombie gourd lay. The thing was monstrous in several senses: it was the biggest gourd Dolph had never imagined, and it was halfway rotten, and its peephole was big enough to admit a grown centaur.

“Now follow me exactly,” Marrow cautioned them. “Do what I do, and nothing else. When you return, enter and wait where you are, until I come to lead you out; I will check every hour until I see you.”

“That seems easy enough,” Dolph said.

“It is not. Now remember, do what I do. Nada, you had better assume human form for this.”

“Precisely,” she agreed, becoming a bare girl.

Marrow jumped into the peephole. Dolph followed. In a moment Nada followed him.

They landed in a mess of rotten vines that seemed to be trying to grow down into the ground instead of out of it. Fortunately there was a path. They trooped rapidly along this path, avoiding a zombie snake that struck at their legs. They came to a region of slashing knives, but Marrow simply drew an old rusty knife out of the ground nearby and flipped it into the midst of the others. The other knives attacked it, and then fell to slicing themselves, until none were left. It was safe to proceed—but Marrow turned away, down along another path Dolph hadn't seen before, He proceeded to a green rock, and used another rock to smash it. The thing fragmented, and the chips grew hot and set fire to the ground. Soon a wooden door was revealed under the burned ground. Marrow pushed down on the near end, and the far end swung up, revealing a lighted cellar below. But instead of entering it, Marrow walked away, down a new path. This one led to a place where rats ran. Marrow kicked one, and the rats squealed and leaped into the air and became flying numbers. Marrow ignored them; he walked on to a region that resembled a great stretched sheet. He stood on this sheet and bounced. In a moment he was jumping higher and higher, the sheet adding force with each bounce. Then he sailed so high he disappeared.

Dolph had not made much sense of any of this, but now he stepped onto the sheet and bounced. Soon he was bouncing high, and then he sailed way, way up, and passed through the ceiling. There was Marrow, standing by another huge gourd. Suddenly this was adding up; here was the gourd within a gourd!

Nada sailed up through the floor, almost bumping into Dolph. “The dream realm is a perfect marvel of illogic,” she remarked.

“I noticed,” Dolph muttered. “But I think we're here.”

“I located this gourd by exploring this region last year,” Marrow explained. “I never tried to enter it, realizing that it could be dangerous for me. But if any dream gourd leads to Mundania, this should do it.”

“Elementary,” Nada agreed. “Now, Dolph, when we emerge, remember that I will be unable to speak to you, and you will be unable to change form. Make careful note of our location, and be on guard against surprises. If we become separated, we must return independently to the place where this gourd emerges and wait for the other. Do you have it straight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dolph agreed, annoyed by her attitude. Was she going to be like this when she grew up? How awful it would be if she were just like Ivy!

He jumped through the peephole. There was an instant of disorientation; then he landed on the ground beyond.

He heard something land beside him. It was a snake, light below, gray-brown above, as if a hank of hair had lent its hue to that side. It was about as long from nose to tailtip as Nada had been in girl form, but far thinner.

“Do you understand me, Nada?” he asked.

She lifted her head and nodded. Good enough.

He looked behind them. There was a huge gourd, nestled in jungle foliage. This one was not rotten; it was supremely healthy. Good enough, again.

“Well, let's go to Centaur Isle,” he said, looking around more widely. He discovered a pebbled path leading by the gourd; obviously someone knew of this special plant.

The stones were hard on his bare feet, so he tried to change to snake form—and could not. Right, he was in Mundania now! No magic.

He walked on the edge of the path, while Nada slithered comfortably and almost invisibly along through the grass and shrubs beside it. Mundania did not seem very much different than Xanth, so far.

Then they came to an iron gate. It was set in a wall that disappeared to left and right into the jungle. Nasty looking wire was on top of the wall; he was not tempted to climb it.

He stepped up to the gate and rattled it. Maybe he could open it and get out. But after the first shake, there was a clanging sound nearby, making him jump.

Someone came tramping down the path from behind. “Ifsf, ifsf, xibu't uijt?” a man's voice called.

Dolph tried to hide, but the tangle of bushes here was laced with nettles and thorns that scratched his skin. He had nowhere to go. Nada had no such difficulty; she vanished.

The man appeared. He was big and fat and fully clothed. Suddenly Dolph remembered that Mundanians, tike Xanthians, usually wore clothing. How could he explain this?